AN: Thank you my lovely readers! I feel so loved. Jen- I'm so glad you like it, I went through a few re-writes, but I'm pleased with the end result. Never fear, I do have plans for the dear Arl Eamon, and the rest of the stuffed shirt nobles. *Can you tell I like Teagan best? *
Sorry this chapter took so long, with school projects, and some writers' block. It couldn't be helped. I want to leave a shout out to all my lovely readers, your reviews brighten my day, and make me want to write more.
This chapter went through a couple of re-writes also. My muse left me for a while, and I had the hardest time writing Shianni. I don't' even know why that is. I'm now happy with it; I hope it's to your liking. Thank you for being patient.
Ch 7: Sins of the Past
Kallian paced back and forth, her stomach in knots. She hadn't been able to sit still all morning. She had put it off for far too long, she had to tell them. "Oh, Maker…" she muttered to herself. This would not be easy, but then Kallian was never one to do things the easy way.
She knew in her heart she couldn't keep this a secret any longer. Especially now that Alistair had tracked her down. The Arl would soon put two and two together, soon every one would know. She couldn't risk someone else telling.
Her Father would be more understanding, Soris…. Possibly.. If not, Valora would be able to calm him down. Shianni…. Now she would be the tough one. She had been happier with Zevran around, but Shianni was still the brash, bold, spitfire she'd always been. Perhaps if she could make her cousin see what Alistair had meant to her, then maybe she'd understand.
She slowly sipped her tea, trying to calm herself; it didn't help much. A brief knock at the door made her jump. She dropped her cup, and it shattered on the floor. A familiar voice calmed her down slightly.
"Kallian?" Her father came to her side. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He knelt down, and cleaned up the broken dish.
Kallian's heartbeat had slowed to normal, but her hands were still shaking. She took a deep breath, and shook her head. "It's my fault, I've been too jumpy lately." She sighed and continued. "Actually, I'm glad you came over, I need to talk to you."
Cyrion smiled at his daughter, "Good thing I came then, save you the trip." He pulled a small box out of his pocket. "I came over to give you this. It belonged to your mother, and I wanted you to have it."
Kallian averted his gaze, "Please let me talk first, and you might not want to give me anything after you hear it." She fidgeted in her seat, "You also might want to sit down."
Cyrion raised an eyebrow, what could she possiblely tell him that he wouldn't want to hear? He took a seat facing her. "Please dear one, you can tell me anything."
Soris sighed and shook his head. He was running out of options to help his cousin. Finally he turned to the ex-crow sitting across from him. "Please Zev, I know you know something. I also know there's something she's not telling me, I need your help."
The blonde antivian shook his head. "I'm sorry my friend, I'll tell you what I told your beautiful sister. I cannot betray her trust. I think you should be talking to Kallian about this."
Soris' face fell, he felt bad for asking, but he felt desperate for something, anything to help her. "I know, it's just she won't talk to me. I just wish I could do something for her. She always told Shi and I everything. Now it's like she's closed off, we can't reach her. I just don't want to lose her."
Zevran looked at him with a look of regret. "I am truly sorry my friend, all I can say is I know she'll come around in her own time. I wish we could do more for her, but for now, just be there for her when she's ready." He put a friendly hand on his shoulder, and squeezed slightly.
Soris nodded, "Thank you Zev, you're a true friend." He truly meant it; Zev had been good for both Kallian, and Shianni.
"De Nada, my friend."
It took a while, but Kallian finally tracked down her cousin. Shianni was near the Alienage tree. She let out a sigh of relief. "There you are Shi, I've been looking for you."
Shianni looked up, and bit her lip. She had been looking at the flower Zevran had given her. "Sorry Kali, I've been….preoccupied."
Kallian came closer, sunk down next to her, and forced her cousin to look at her. "What's the matter Shi? Are you alright?"
Shianni shook her head, "I'm… ok." She sighed. "I'm not sure what to do cousin. It's like my head and my heart are pulling me in two different directions."
Kallian felt a small smile grace her lips, she understood what her cousin was feeling all too well. "This is about Zev isn't it?" She stifled a laugh when she saw Shianni blush. "I've seen the way he looks at you, and the way you watch him when he's not looking. Zev is a good man, and he cares for you. I can't express how rare and beautiful that is to find." She paused for a moment, then continued. "The important question is, do you care for Zev?"
Shianni bit her lip, "Of course I care for Zev…. I'm just…" She groaned, why was it so difficult….
A knowing smile graced Kallian's lips, she recognized this same behavior from herself, when she had begun to care for Alistair. Why was it the opposite sex could fluster them so? She brushed the hair out of her cousin's eyes. "I think you do love him Shi. But, you are afraid to let yourself love him, of what might happen, or afraid of getting hurt."
Shianni's eyes narrowed briefly, then softened. She realized her cousin was right, she had been retreating inward, out of fear of the unknown. She sighed sharply. "How'd you get so smart Kali?"
Kallian grinned, "I fell in love Shi. I see the same tale-tell signs in you, that I didn't want to see in myself." The two women embraced.
Shianni grinned, and tucked the flower behind her ear. "Thanks cousin, coming to my rescue as usual?"
"Always, Shi." Kallian grinned back.
"So Kali, you said before you were looking for me?" her eyes sparkled with joyful mischief. Shianni was feeling more like her old self again. This wasn't going to get any easier, Kallian gritted her teeth, and took a deep breath.
"Yes Shi, I was. I need to talk to about something." She chewed her lip before continuing. "You know I love you like a sister, right?" Shianni frowned, "That doesn't sound good, just tell me already."
Kallian paled under her cousin's piercing stare. 'Oh maker, why was this so difficult?' she thought to herself. "Shi, I met someone." Shianni's face brightened, but before she could respond, Kallian kept going, afraid she would loose her nerve.
"It was after I left with Duncan, honestly it was the furthest thing from my mind. I was trying to survive, become a Grey Warden, and do something great; something you all would be proud of. I didn't count of falling in love. I hadn't counted on Alistair…." She absentmindedly touched the amulet she wore around her neck.
Shianni's eyes narrowed, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd seen that Shem, way back when Kallian first came home. Back when she chased off those mages. "Is this about that bastard Shem you brought home? That warden?"
Kallian flinched as if she'd been burned. "He's not like that! He's kind, gentle, and funny. He taught me how to love, to trust again. You don't even know him!"
Shianni's whole face flushed with anger, "I don't have to know him, they're all the same! They take what the want, and be damned if you get in the way!" She quickly rose, "You've turned your back on your own people, go see your Shem friends. They can have you!" She turned and hurried down the street, eager to be elsewhere.
Kallian was left bewildered, and confused. She knew Shianni wouldn't take her news easy, but she hadn't expected to be outright hostile. Hot, bitter tears stung her eyes, she pulled her cloak over her head, and headed out. She had to find a wise heart, and a sympathetic ear, and she knew just where to find it.