Chapter Four
Scream
School was pretty much uneventful, mostly because I steered clear of Jacob, Edward and Alice just to be safe. Even when I had classes with them I acted as if I was too busy listening to the lectures to have any time to talk. Then once the bell rang I sprinted out of there, leaving skid marks on the people who got in my way. I wasn't so lucky at the end of the day when I was sprinting to my car.
"Whoa, where are you going?" Jacob asked jumping in front of my path to stop me.
"Sorry. I have to… pee." Yeah that's me, always the lady.
"Ugh. OK, well, I'll see you later right?"
"Um, no actually, I… have to spend time with my dad." Yeah that sounded like a believable lie. "He has been really bugging me about spending quality time. Ya know the whole his little girl's growing up."
OK the last part wasn't really a lie. My dad had been asking me to set aside some time for him since I had been avoiding him. I assumed that if I started distancing myself now it wouldn't seem so strange when I did it later. Pretty much anything to prevent him from noticing my baby bump when it came.
"Oh well that's cool, what are you guys going to do?" Jake asked still blocking my way.
"Not sure, what ever he wants to. I guess."
"Well, maybe I can get my dad and we can kind of make it a group thing."
"Sure, but maybe another time. I know he really wants it to just be us."
"I get it, but I really do want to spend some time with you."
"I know, and we will."
"When?"
"Soon I promise, but I really do have to go now."
"Alright, bye." he kissed me on the cheek and finally moved.
"Yeah, bye."
When I got into my car I finally checked my cell. I had a missed call from Jacob, a text from Edward, and three missed calls plus two texts from Alice.
I decided to save Alice's for last because I knew I would be getting fussed at in those. It was kind of like taking the good news before the bad. The good news being Edward of course.
His text was simple, but extremely sweet.
'You look stressed. I hope you're OK. I'm here for you. -E'
I smiled down at my phone, reading and rereading the text over again. He was giving me
space, but not enough that I would think he didn't care.
After day dreaming about Edward for a good few minutes, I decided it was time to put on my big girl pants and just read Alice's text.
"Come on, Swan, just rip the band-aid off." I told myself.
The first one wasn't so bad, but they got worse as I kept reading.
'Where are you? I didn't see you at lunch.-A'
'You better not be off with Edward! Bella I swear sometimes you have a one track mind!-A'
'WHERE ARE YOU! I just saw Edward so you aren't with him. Jacob just came and asked me what's wrong with you! You are not sneaking off and leaving me to deal with your boy troubles! Write me back!- A'
I decided to stay hidden for a little longer and not reply to anyone just yet. I would have just gone straight home, but my gas tank decided to flash a red E at me. Couldn't my car tell by how quickly I had pretty much peeled out of the school's parking lot that I was just not in the mood? As soon as I had the pump in my tank I heard my name being called.
I turned to see Edward walking over to me.
"Hey." I said wishing the pump would hurry up.
"You okay?"
"Yeah fine, why?"
"I don't know, you seem stressed."
"And this is different from when?"
"Well, normally you don't seem like you wish you could push the rest of us off a cliff."
"What like La Push you off of it?"
He smiled at my lame joke, but it seemed to ease his mind a little. The gas pump clicked done and I was about to reach for it when he beat me to it.
"Allow me." he said with a smile.
"By all means, finish the job." I said putting my hands up and backing away from it.
He placed the pump up and closed the tank to my car.
"Come take a ride with me Swan." he said nodding to his car next to us.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"Probably isn't."
"Glad you agree."
"Sure do." he said walking to his car and opening the passenger door. "You coming?"
"Thought we just went through this?"
"Hey, I said I agreed it was a bad idea, not that I didn't still want you to."
"Oh well since that's all cleared up." I laughed.
"Well the way I see it you can either stay here by yourself thinking or you can get in."
"What happens if I get in?"
"You'll be living life."
"I think I like living." I said as I got into the car.
We rode past the town lines until the paved rode ran out and the dirt road was even getting smaller.
"Planning on making your own road?" I asked.
"Something like that." He smiled, finally pulling over.
"Feel like a little hiking?"
"How far?"
"Just behind those trees." he said nodding towards the forest in front of us.
"Lead the way."
He smiled at me and grabbed my hand, leading me into the trees. I wasn't sure what I was expecting when the trees finally thinned a little. Maybe a beautiful meadow with flowers or something. However, a meadow is not what stood in front of me. Instead a abandoned looking small two story warehouse stood in the middle of a plain small clearing along a small stream.
"What is this place?"
"I think it was once some kind of mill. Come on, I want to show you something."
Instead of leading me to the door of the building, we entered through a broken window that had a wooden box propped next to it.
"Sorry the door has a huge old rustic lock." he said helping me through.
"So I'm guessing that we really don't have permission to be in here?"
"Not technically, but no one ever comes here."
"Why do you come here?"
All I saw in the poorly lit room was metal and dust, nothing of real interest.
"I'll show you." he assured me with a small grin.
He lead me to an old looking stair case that I was sure wouldn't hold our weight that long. We reached the second floor, yet he had me follow him across the room to a metal ladder attached to the wall. He climbed first, undoing a hatched door above us and proceeded to climb through it. I followed and he lent me a hand to help me up the rest of the way.
"Come here." he said once I was on solid ground once again.
He lead me to the edge of the roof we were standing on. What I saw took my breath away. The stream that I had thought so little of when we first arrived glistened and shined with the rays of the setting sun. Beyond the stream the trees swayed and looked so lovely from where we stood up high above most of everything. A light breeze was blowing sending the fragrance of the pines and oaks close by.
"I come here to think a lot." Edward said softly.
"I can see why. It's so peaceful."
I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air.
"Peaceful yes, but it is also a good place to let off some steam."
"What do you mean?"
"When life gets to be a little too much, I come here and..."
"What? You can tell me."
"Well, I come here and I just let out a yell."
"What?"
"I know it sounds kind of crazy, but it helps. It takes away some of the pressure that I feel is
always pressing down on me."
"I know exactly what you mean about the pressure."
"Well then, by all means let it out."
"What, scream?"
"Yeah, I swear it helps."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Humor me. Close your eyes."
I did as he said and instantly felt him come closer to me. He felt like he was right behind me, like his lips could touch my ear as he spoke.
"Think about all of the things bugging you. All the things you wish you could just push to the back of your mind. All the things eating away at you. Everything you wish you could say, but know you never will."
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Like how it bugged me that everyone seemed like they knew more than me lately. How I wish I had done things differently but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
I kept my eyes closed and nodded.
"Now let it out."
"I can't. I'm scared." I whispered.
"You can do it, Bella. Just scream. Let it all out, everything that's weighing on you."
If he only knew all the things that were weighing on me, he might not even be here right now with me. Why couldn't things just be simple again like I wanted them to be? I kept asking my self this and yet I never ever seemed to even be close to an answer.
"AUGHHHHHHH" I screamed at the top of my lungs.