Liara burst into the storage room, breathless. She caught sight of Ashley and dashed over to her.

"Ashley!" she cried. "You know what day it is? I'm dead!"

Ash turned around in alarm. "What's up, Liara?"

"It's Mother's day!" griped Liara. "It's Mother's day, and I didn't get my mom anything!"

"DAMMIT!" cried Ash, remembering. "Neither did I!"

"Other plans got in the way," Liara agreed.

"What the hell are we going to do?"

Liara's eyes lit up. "Wait!" she exclaimed. "We're going to Noveria, right?"

"Well, yeah," Ash said doubtfully. "Why?"

"Do you know what it's like to be a mother, Ashley?" asked Benezia. She drew a finger under Ash's chin. "To make a life…to shape it…there's really a stark beauty to it."

"Why are you telling me this?" Ash asked.

"What? Oh. I'm practicing for when Shepard gets here," the Matriarch explained. "Liara says you're here for more than to just scout out the turf."

"It's Mother's day, Benezia," the human said, her mouth dry. "I'm here to give you something special."

"Are you, now?" she teased Ashley.

"Yeah," she replied. She held up a small green bottle. "I hear you like chamomile."

Liara picked up one of the silver-wrapped boxes, examining the circular hole in the side, and felt a pang of regret. "Too bad we can't put these to good use," she sighed.

Andy Shepard looked on in speechless shock as Liara finished her story. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he managed to find his words.

"You mean—"

"Yeah. Ash and I came up with that first."

"What—"

"Yeah, Shepard. We beat you to it."

"NO!" cried Andy, furious. "This is retarded! Ashley's a pile of radioactive ash on Virmire!"

"But I'm still alive," countered Liara. "And I've got an army of asari spokeswomen at my command! You're under the thumb of copyright laws, Andy!"

"No, I'm not!" he bellowed. "I'm Commander FUCKING Shepard! The idea is mine, mine, MINE!"

Liara arched a faux eyebrow. "You're a Commander fucking a shepherd? Why would you do that?"

Andy Shepard facepalmed. "Liara, seriously, stop bullshitting me. You did not fuck Ashley's mom."

"Actually, I kind of did."

"And Ashley…Benezia…they…"

"Yeah."

He gaped like a beached fish and made a noise similar to a krogan who'd had helium for lunch and gotten constipated. "No," he choked. "My originality! Where has it gone?"

"It got left behind on Virmire when you decided to rip of Star Wars," Liara answered. "Sorry, Shepard. It was never that original to begin with."

"LIES!" shrieked Shepard. He pounced on Liara and strangled her to death.

The Shadow Broker looked on in approval as Andy Shepard walked away from Liara T'Soni's lifeless body.

"Looks like Shepard did your job for you, Nyxeris," he said. "Your job is done. You can come on back now."