Shades of Grey

Disclaimer: Do not own p4.

She finds Rise comfortably sitting on a cushion, the fabric placed neatly beside her. Rise grins and puts the rice cracker (from Yukiko's secret stash no less) she has been eating back into the plastic packet. "Hi sempai, fancy meeting you here."

"I live here," Yukiko says as she slides the door close. She pats the cushion and proceeds to sit on it. "Is this about last time, Kujikawa-san?"

"Oh noo, just thought I'd drop by for some tea. Heard the Amagi Inn has the best, so I went. Your mother is really nice, y'know."

Somehow Yukiko doesn't quite believe it. Must be Rise's grin. And she only grins like that when she has something unpleasant planned for the receiver. "How did you know I'll come back here?"

"Well, you live here. Gotta come back sometime, right?"

Oh. Right. She lives here. Yukiko wants to hit herself with a fan for saying such a stupid thing. But her fan is inside her drawer, so she says instead: "I'll bring us tea, then. Is there anything you specifically want?"

"Hmm. I think green tea's fine. And maybe some sweets."

"Alright," Yukiko says, setting toward the door. She represses the urge to sigh, because there's a saying that your happiness disappears with each sigh. Or something similar. She doesn't remember, but she has sighed enough already, ever since she was rejected. It's hard not to sigh these days. The pain she feels with each exhale. Chie. Sigh. Oh Chie. Sigh. Chie. Sigh.

But lately the frequency has been decreasing, and she only finds herself doing that every few minutes instead of mere seconds a few days ago. Yes. It's been two weeks and she's definitely moving on. Definitely.

"Yuki-chan? What's wrong?"

Yukiko takes in her surroundings. She's in the kitchen, and Kasai is standing there with her trademark duck patterned apron. She must have spaced out and walked the forty metres and two flights of stairs thinking entirely of Chie. Okay. So maybe she hasn't moved on. But she's trying. Trying and failing. She doesn't want her employees worrying, so she smiles and points to the sweets Kasai has arranged on the counter. "I have a guest in my room, so I thought I'll bring her tea and sweets. Do you mind?"

"Oh, not at all! It's Kujikawa Rise-san isn't it? Such a sweet girl. Here, bring some meat buns and vegetable tempura too, Yuki-chan."

And so Yukiko finds herself going back with a heavy tray full of sweets, meat buns (why?), tempura, two cups, and a pot of tea. If not for her meticulous training, she would have dropped it from the sheer weight. She stands in front of the door and wonders how she will open it with both hands occupied. Maybe she should use her foot, but it's inappropriate and surely mother will reprimand her if she finds out. Or maybe-

The door slides open and she finds her hands suddenly empty. It seems that today Rise is determined to pry as many items as possible away from her.

"Thanks. Looks delicious," Rise says after she places the tray on the table. She then arranges the cups and pours the tea into both. "Don't just stand there. Sit here, sempai."

Yukiko obliges. "I hope this is enough for you," she says, automatically reverting to her role as the Amagi heiress. "If you desire something else, please do not hesitate to ask."

Why is Rise looking at her like that? Like she has done something strange and not aware of it. "...no, it's alright," Rise says after a pause, now happily looking at the assortment of food she has lined on the table. "Looks like it can feed four people. Lucky, since I skipped dinner so I'm starving right now."

"Dinner? Why?" Because Rise never skips her meals. It will cause her to overeat at the next meal, she had explained once. Yukiko wonders if there is something wrong.

Rise tears a bun in half. "Oh, I've been fishing. Do you mind if I start first?"

Fishing? Fishing is definitely not in Rise's list of hobbies. Or even in her list of barely tolerable activities, judging by how she almost snapped Souji's fishing pole in half the last time he dragged the team on one of his fishing trips. There must be something Rise is holding out on her. Perhaps she was mugged on her way here? Or was she being followed by a stalker? But Yukiko is not about to mention it, fearing she might come across as being insensitive. But she reminds herself to escort Rise home, just in case. And maybe discuss it with Naoto as soon as she sees her. Satisfied with the decision, Yukiko gestures at Rise's cup. "Of course not. But I would suggest that you start with the tea first. It will grow cold otherwise."

"Oh. The tea. Of course. Green tea's my favourite. I'm sure it doesn't taste bitter. Ha ha." Rise smiles weakly. "W-well, okay. It'll get cold. Yeah." She takes a large gulp, and – to Yukiko's alarm – chokes.

Yukiko immediately runs to her desk, procures a handkerchief, and tries to help Rise by wiping her face. But the only good it seems to do is make her sputter more (it sounds more like laughter now, but usually choking and laughing do not go hand in hand). Rise takes the handkerchief and blows her nose into it.

"I- I'm sorry," Yukiko says when Rise has calmed down. "There must be something wrong with it. I'll tell the staff to throw out the current batch and-"

"No no, it's okay. It's my fault. Just went down the wrong way." Rise sounds reassuring, but she's cramming down mouthfuls of sweets.

"Are you sure-"

"Yep. Definitely." Now Rise is moving on to the meat buns. "By the way, do you have juice instead?"

"Well, the inn doesn't stock it, but I have a bottle of orange juice in my bag. You probably don't want it; I've already drank half of it and it's probably lukewarm by now."

"I won't complain even if it's sizzling hot. Please, sempai?"

"...alright." Yukiko takes her bag from under the desk and carries it back towards the table. She rummages through the backpack, taking out her textbooks and various items before reaching the bottom. She fetches the bottle and hands it to Rise.

She watches in fascination as Rise drinks from it. Chie is the only person Yukiko has ever shared a drink with – not because she thinks it's unhygienic, but more from the fear of the other person being disgusted with touching where Yukiko's lips has been. Yukiko knows Chie doesn't (or didn't) mind. But it's still... still such a strange sight, seeing Rise drink it without a grimace or any apparent expression other than the satisfied look of someone quenching her thirst. Chie said that ninety percent of the boys from school would gladly die for a swig from Yukiko's bottle – and the remaining ten percent are probably gay. Yukiko doesn't understand why they would die for something like, but she doesn't understand a lot of things anyway. She probably doesn't even understand herself.

But it's okay. She's just glad Rise is fine with it.

"That was good. Thanks a lot." Rise wipes her mouth and places the bottle on the table. "Ooh- can I see your wallet? It has the prettiest leather. Um. I mean, well, it's just pretty." And before Yukiko can say no, Rise has already snatched it, looking through the contents.

"I would rather not," Yukiko says, knowing it's futile because Rise continues her snooping as if she didn't hear anything. But her protests are halfhearted anyway, and in truth Yukiko is more surprised than annoyed at Rise's blatant disregard of other people's privacy. Such behaviour doesn't belong in her world. It's always yes sir please do you mind if I thank you have a good day. Well, there's Chie, but she's been

(only friends)

with Yukiko for as long as she remembers. And there are Yosuke and Teddie always stealing her food, too. She doesn't know why it's different, but she's not half as annoyed with Rise. But still, there's something she doesn't want Rise to

"Hey sempai? Why are you keeping this in your wallet?" Yukiko doesn't have to look to know she's referring to the photo of her and Chie taken when they were still in junior high. Rise flips it over to face her again, scrutinizing it intently. "Wow, your hair was really short. But Chie-sempai still looks the same."

Yukiko doesn't know if she should comment about their looks or answer the question. "It's..."

"I mean, it's kinda rare for people to only have a photo of their friend, you know. Usually there's also a photo of their boyfriends, a lot of purikura, and well, just a host of other things. And you definitely look better with long hair."

Yukiko wishes Rise doesn't change the topic with every sentence; it's getting confusing. And she wishes that the answer that pops into her head immediately isn't because I love her. But it is. So maybe she should focus on the hair instead. "Thanks," she says modestly, "it took a long time to grow it out." She hopes with this Rise can be distracted into talking about hair care and brands of shampoo or something like that. Not that Yukiko knows anything about it.

"Okay. So why only Chie-sempai's picture?"

So much for that. "Well, we're good friends. And I don't really have a boyfriend, so there's nothing else to put in there."

"No crushes?"

"No." Because it's not a crush anymore. It's love.

"Oh. 'Kay. Guess all the guys will be sad if they find out, then."

Yukiko has no answer for that, so she merely watches as Rise replaces the wallet and eats the rest of the food. – giving the green tea a wide berth, of course. Fifteen minutes passes before Rise pats her stomach with a satisfied sigh. "Thanks, Yukiko-sempai. The food's really good."

"I thank you for the compliment. We choose only the finest ingredients, and the cooks are selected for their prominent display of skills in their area of expertise."

There's that look again. But before Yukiko can ask about it, Rise stands and grabs her bag. "Well, today's been fun, but I have go back. Grandma's probably worrying right now."

"Wait. Let me get my keys; I'll escort you home."

"Huh? There's no need. Really. It's okay. It's close by, anyway."

"Yasoinaba and Inaba is not that close. What if there's a strange person?" Yukiko is about to step out, but when there's no sign of Rise following her, she glances back and sees that Rise is still rooted in place, wringing her hands.

"If you take me home, then you'll have to walk back alone. I can't let you do that"

Yukiko smiles. "I insist. We have a spare bicycle, so it shouldn't be a problem." And she has her fan, too. Just in case Rise's stalker shows up.

"Didn't know you're into cycling, sempai," Rise says as they bike leisurely along the road running through the floodplains.

"I usually don't, but it's convenient when I have to do the grocery. And Chie and I... we used to just circle the inn. Sometimes the woods behind it..." As she trails off, Yukiko immediately realises the slip and prays that Rise won't notice. She does, of course. There's probably very little Rise ever misses, thanks to Kanzeon.

"Used to?"

"Chie's bike broke," Yukiko says a bit too fast. Maybe she should have waited a few seconds, come to think of it.

Rise absently swerves away from a pothole. "But I just saw her bike to school a few days ago."

...ugh. "It broke yesterday?"

"...you're such a bad liar, sempai." When her statement is greeted only with Yukiko's silence, Rise suddenly ramps up her speed. "Race ya!"

Yukiko sighs and follows Rise's disappearing figure. Chie will never do that. She always waits for Yukiko to catch up, sometimes even slowing down to a snail's pace. Sometimes Chie would even lose a race on purpose when they were children. But she needs to stop comparing Rise with Chie, just because they're both women. She's not... she's not... but she is. Reaffirmed it when she confessed to Chie. But Rise's

Her thought is interrupted when she hears Rise's shout in the distance. "Sempaiii! Hurry up!"

"Hurry? But... it's going uphill..."

Twenty minutes and many, many potholes and sharp turns later, Yukiko finds herself slumping against a wall. Her legs will definitely hurt tomorrow. "How can you be..." she gasps, still hyperventilating. "Be so... energetic?"

"Probably because I run every afternoon if I can manage it. It's good for my health and helps me maintain my weight." Rise looks at Yukiko, frowning from concern. "Are you alright?"

No. She probably won't be able to walk after tonight. "Yes. Just... let me rest for a moment."

"By the way, there's mud stains on your shoes."

"...oh."

"And your hair's sticking out everywhere. And-" And suddenly Rise bursts out laughing. Yukiko looks at her and wonders if she looks so funny when she's suffering like this. "Sorry," Rise says when she regains her bearing. But only barely. "It's just... just a bit strange. Seeing this side of you."

Yukiko frowns. "This side?"

Rise folds her hand over her chest. It seems like she's considering the answer seriously. "Well..." she says, "it's just that you're always prim and proper even in the heat of battle, you know? I thought I'd never see the day when you're being anything but elegant. It's good to see you like this. Reminds me that you're actually pretty similar to us."

Yukiko can't fathom what Rise is aiming at. Elegant? Proper? But she's not like that. At least not yet elegant or proper enough to take over the inn. It's strange too, hearing it from an idol- no, just Rise. Because Rise is not Risette. And Yukiko can feel Rise's sincerity in her words, so she smiles and says: "thank you, Kujikawa-san. For telling me your thoughts."

"Oh. Um. You're- you're welcome. ...hey sempai? Just wait here for a moment, I'll get you water, okay?" Without waiting for Yukiko's reply, Rise disappears inside. She reappears moments later, holding out a bottle of ice cold water and a plastic bag. "Here," she holds them out. "It's some tofu and ganmodoki. Grandma just made it, so it should still be fresh. Tastes better."

"You shouldn't-"

Rise takes Yukiko's hand and gently places the handle of the plastic bag in a way that Yukiko's fingers are between it. "Oh come on sempai, don't be so polite. I'll place the water inside the basket, okay? It's the least I can do to thank you for escorting me back."

"Rise-chaaaan!"

"Coming!" Rise turns back towards Yukiko. "Thanks again. And be careful, okay? Please call me if anything comes up. And about the bike, I'll return it as soon as I can, is that alright?"

"Please don't worry about it."

"Okay then. Good night, sempai."

"Wait," Yukiko says as Rise is about to enter her house. "Since you have it anyway, let's... let's bike around Inaba sometime."

Rise looks surprised at the invitation, but then grins and says: "Okay. Let's do that."

And Yukiko finds herself alone, holding a bag of tofu in her hand. She doesn't know what came over her, why she said that to Rise. Maybe it's because she doesn't think of Chie as much when she is with Rise. And god knows it's so painful when there's only Chie Chie Chie in her mind. Maybe that's why, because Rise diverts her attention from the pain. Or maybe it's something else entirely, but she doesn't understand a lot of things, after all. And that's okay.

She places the bag into the basket and wheels her bicycle towards the road. But not before circling Marukyu a few times to ensure that no strange man is lurking anywhere near it.

When Yukiko said 'let's bike around sometime,' she didn't mean waking her at six in the morning. Or showing up in her room and nearly giving her a heart attack.

Yukiko, of course, shrieks when she sees Rise's face hovering above her own, staring at her intently.

"Oh hello. Good morning sempai. Good weather huh?" Rise says, smiling widely.

"What. What. Why. How-"

"Well, auntie invited me in and told me to just go grab you from your room when I mentioned we're going biking." She frowns when her greeting fails to have any perceivable effect on Yukiko. "You okay?"

Yukiko is still reeling from shock. She was- she just had a dream involving Chie... and some Shadows. And swords. And being chased by a cockroach. Chie was saying. Chie was saying. She doesn't remember what Chie was saying, or whether it was a pleasant dream or not. But seeing Rise's face like that, she decides it must be a nightmare. She must still be dreaming. So she pulls her blanket up to cover her head and rolls sideways in a foetal position. Right. The apparition is disappearing. Now going back to

The blanket is promptly pulled away.

She would have screamed, if her training doesn't require her to be proper, regardless of the situation. But then she wonders if there is any etiquette regarding this situation at all.

Rise pouts. "Oh come on sempai, don't just stare at me like I'm a ghost. We have to get going – we'll be late for breakfast if we dally."

"Break...fast?" Yukiko says as she calms her racing heart. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Remember what mother says being. Being. Thinking is of no use when someone has just sneaked into your room and stole your blanket.

"Yep. Breakfast after exercise is always the best. I'll go out and wait for you to change, okay?" Rise says, and as she is about to step out of the room, she turns and grins. "By the way, you look really nice like that. Just don't let any guys see you."

"...Nice?" Yukiko says to the shut door, then looks down and sees her night robe slipping off her shoulders. She hopes there is a hole somewhere, just so she can climb inside it and die from sheer willpower.

Her mother, of course, confronts her again as she is about to leave the house. "It's so nice seeing you have such a close friend. Besides, you're so pale, some exercise will do good for you. Right, Rise-chan?"

"Exactly. I only want the best for Yukiko-sempai, after all."

Yukiko makes a mental note to go through the back door or climb from a window the next time she leaves or enters the house. She glances beseechingly at her mother, praying that she'll give her some errands to do, cook breakfast, break some lumber, move a boulder. Anything, anything at all. Of course, her mother is oblivious, both of them beaming like two tiny suns at her.

She feels like she's supposed to say something. "Um," is all she can manage. She's not sure if she's supposed to comment about her being pale, the exercise, or affirm Rise wanting the best for her. Maybe all three. But it will require her to make more than one coherent sentence, but she isn't sure she can even string a few words together. Having low blood pressure can be dangerous sometimes, like when Souji insisted they enter the TV before school. She ended up exploding a room with a misfired maragidyne.

And then there are times like this, too.

"Here, I made some snacks for both of you, just in case you get hungry. Have fun, children!"

Rise bows, then takes Yukiko's wrist and drags her gently towards the door. "Sempaai! Don't be such a zombie! It's a nice morning – hear the birds chirp and enjoy life. And leave your fan here. Just in case."

And so Yukiko finds herself outside with chirping birds, completely fanless, armed with only a pair of well-worn sneakers; a shirt and black Bermuda shorts; some snacks; and an over-active girl that might be planning something horrible.

Continued

Next: In which Chie says something horrible, Yukiko gets depressed, and Rise gleefully runs into potholes.