So, here's the rest of it, as promised. Hope it's alright.

Disclaimer: Everything you don't recognize I guess could be considered mine... the rest of it, not a chance.

Chapter 13

Knots

I sat and stared at the wall for about a day. I was deaf and blind to everything except for the white of the wall and the boom of the bombs. I felt nothing other than the tremors the explosions sent through the bed.

At every one, I wondered if it was the one that would kill my sister.

After a while the bombs stopped, and everything was quiet.

Eventually, Peeta managed to break through the thick wall of ice that was surrounding me. I stopped staring at the wall. I stared at him instead.

He talked to me. He didn't expect me to say anything back. Because even though I hadn't realized it before, if there was anybody that knew what I was going through it was Peeta.

He talked about his family. About how much he loved his Father and brothers. I knew he hadn't liked his mother much; she was a bit of a witch. But she was still his mother, and he still loved her. He had lost his entire family. I had lost my sister.

He said that he had felt empty inside. That there was nothing left for him to live for. But when he found out about his family, it was the same time that I had found out about Gale. I was a wreck, and Peeta knew that I needed his help. So he looked after me. He didn't forget his family. He tucked them away, and put them safe in his heart. He remembered all of the happy memories, and all of the good times they had shared. Because they wouldn't want him to spend the rest of his life mourning them, and wishing that they were still alive. They'd want him to move on and have a good life.

That's what Prim would want me to do.

Peeta was right. Prim would want me to move on and be happy. I know that I'll never be the same again, and I know that I'll never forget her. That empty feeling in my chest will never truly disappear. But the world won't stop for Prim. This war is not just going to freeze to give me time to get over my sister.

Prim died trying to save the life of someone she loved. I know that if she were here now, she'd want me to continue fighting this war, to make the world a better place.

And I'm not going to do that staring at a wall.

~~0~~

The first few days after we had been let out of the bunkers were awful. A lot bombs had penetrated the tunnels, and many were caved in. We all had to relocate to rooms deeper underground, and everyone had to lend a hand in clearing all the rubble and rebuilding the tunnels in order to get District 13 back in business. Almost immediately, Coin had Peeta, Finnick and I doing filming, sometimes with Beetee, and a couple with Rory, who was now feeling better, but a little sore, just to prove to the rest of Panem that we had survived the onslaught. For the Capitol had sent out propos of their own, claiming the rebels were crushed.

I think there might have been another reason for the masses of propos though; I was sure we did not need that many. Actually, I know there was another reason.

As the people cleared the rubble, they were finding bodies. Apparently, Prim had not been the only one not to make it back. Of course, I knew she couldn't have been; I had heard the wailing mothers, the crying wives, and the grieving fathers. I just hadn't processed the reason for their grief as I was drowning in my own.

They found Prim's body not far from the bunker. She could have gotten there in another minute. They wouldn't let me see her, but they assured me she died quickly, a blow to the head.

They said she was clutching a cat.

It was hard, but I tried my hardest. Every little thing I saw reminded me of Prim. I remembered what it was like when my father died, and how my mother had shut herself off from the world, and how Prim and I had almost died. I couldn't do that. If I shut myself away, I wouldn't just be sentencing two people to death; I would be destroying the whole country.

My mother did it again. She locked herself in the room that we would be sharing with Peeta and Finnick, (due to many of the rooms being destroyed, more people were being forced to share,) and refused to let us in. Finnick had to break down the door, and even then she refused to acknowledge us. Actually, I don't think she even knew we were there. Finnick carried her up to the hospital, and she's staying in the mental ward now. I'm worried about her. But with everything going on, I'm able to… well, not forget about it, but push it to the back of my mind. I still visit her every day, but she doesn't seem to be getting any better. At least the doctors have been able to get her to eat.

My mother isn't the only person I have been worried about. The Capitol have been sending out more propos with Gale, always giving the same message; end the war, or everyone will die. But that's not what's bothering me about the messages. Gale looks worse than ever. He's just skin and bones, even more so than he used to be; even worse than I looked, all those years ago, when I was searching through the baker's bin, and Peeta threw me that bread. But that isn't all.

Every time I see him, he has more bruises, more scars. I think they have stopped covering him in makeup, just to get at me further.

I have realized what Snow's doing. He is trying to make me crack.

And it's working.

It's all been too much. First Gale being captured, then Rory almost dying and that whole ordeal in Eight, then Prim… leaving. And my mother shutting down. Now this.

Why else would they hurt Gale? Haymitch said so himself. The people don't know Gale. He's always just been on the sidelines. The only reason they could possibly want anything to do with Gale is me.

And this, more than anything else, makes me feel horrible.

Then came the day when the broadcasts stopped.

The Capitol had been showing Gale and Caesar, and occasionally Snow himself, on the big screen almost everyday. But, about two weeks after the bombs, they just stopped. No more. At first I thought that maybe they had just given Gale a day off. Maybe he was unconscious from being tortured… No. I pushed that thought out of my head. They were just giving the country a break from the boring routine before they stopped taking it seriously. But after a couple of days, and still no showing, I started to get worried.

What if they had gone overboard on the torture? What if they had killed him?

I was almost glad at the thought. Gale was free.

Then I froze.

No. No. This could not be happening. Gale could not be dead. No matter where I was, what I was doing, Gale had always been there for me. Even if not in body, but in thoughts. I had always known he would be rooting for me.

The moment I realized that Gale might be gone, I ran away from the newly fixed dining hall, where I had been eating dinner, and, ignoring Peeta's yells, sprinted through the halls, with one thought running through my mind.

I can't lose anybody else.

As soon as I burst through the doors of the Hawthorne room, I ran straight to Hazelle, and threw my arms around her.

Hazelle was like my second mother. She had always cared for me, and I loved her. Now, she practically was my mother. She cared for me, comforted me, and made sure that I was okay. Of course, I had Peeta looking after me as well, but it was nice knowing that I had someone from my old life, the closest thing I had to a mother at the moment, looking out for me.

She just held me tight, and let my tears soak into her shirt.

"Shh, now. It's all right. Everything will work out."

I shook my head.

"What," I whispered, "what do you think is happening to Gale?"

I felt Hazelle stiffen. I knew that it probably wasn't the best thing to say, what with everything going on, but I had to talk to someone. I couldn't talk to Peeta; he wouldn't understand, even though he would try his hardest. And I couldn't talk to Finnick; I know he understood, as his Annie had also been captured, but he doesn't know Gale. And Prim was gone. Hazelle was the only person left.

"I don't know, Katniss. I just don't know."

We both stood there, like mother and daughter, holding on to each other for support, hopping that Gale was okay.

~~0~~

"So, I make a loop, then wrap this end around here, put it through the hole, and pull it tight?"

"You need to wrap it around a few times."

"Like this?"

"Yeah, that's better."

"Oh good. I can officially make a noose. Now I have a means of killing myself." Finnick inspected my face quickly, just to make sure I was joking, before he smiled slightly. One could never be to sure, these days. "Could you teach me how to make a net now? I've always wondered how to do that."

"Sure."

We sat there for a while, Finnick leaning against my bed, me against Peeta's, occasionally gripping his hand to scare away his nightmares. I couldn't sleep, even with Peeta there, and neither could Finnick. He didn't have anyone to scare away his demons. He made me realize how lucky I was to have Peeta with me.

Finnick had been showing me his way to combat the nightmares. He would stay up all night, tying knots to stay awake, sometimes for a couple of nights in a row. Then, he would be so tired he could sleep without dreaming. It seemed like a good system. In reality, you didn't moss that much sleep; the nightmares stop you from getting much, anyway.

"What are you doing?"

I glanced up to see Peeta peering over the edge of his bed at us.

"Oh, not much," I said, waving a hand. "Finnick was just showing me some knots."

"At three in the morning? I though you complained about it that time Coin woke us up at four. And here you are at three?" He glanced at Finnick. "Whatever happened to needing beauty sleep?" Finnick chuckled.

"That was one of my sleep days. Of course I was upset." I smiled. Before… what happened, I might have laughed. But not anymore.

Peeta just looked confused.

"Sleep days?"

"Never mind." I muttered. "Go back to sleep Peeta. You're one of the luckier ones."

"I can't," He whispered, so quiet I almost missed it. "And I'm not one of the luckier ones." He slid of the bed and onto the floor next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "I'm a Victor, aren't I? I was under the impression that there was some unwritten law about Victors and nightmares." I sighed, and Finnick nodded.

"I guess so," he said.

"Anyway," said Peeta, slightly louder. "You never did say. Why are you up tying knots at three in the morning?"

Finnick explained his system while I continued trying to tie the rope. It kept falling out of whatever shape I twisted it into, and refused to stay together as a net. I groaned in frustration and threw the rope at the ground.

"I don't get how you do that!" I cried. "It doesn't work!"

Chuckling, Finnick picked up the rope, and once again explained how to make a net, a twisted the rope perfectly. I rolled my eyes as he held out the perfect net. Grinning, he shook the rope back into its original state, and started coaching me in the art of net weaving, Peeta watching expectantly.

This is how Haymitch found us four hours later when he came in to wake us up. He stared at us, and then asked if we'd been there the entire night. We nodded, and he sighed, walked out the room and slammed the door behind him, not even bothering to tell us to go get breakfast. I shrugged, and turned back to my pile of rope, which, as Peeta so kindly pointed out, looked kind of like a net if you squinted.

~~0~~

When we walked into Control for a meeting later that afternoon, it was to see only two people in the room; Coin and Haymitch. They seemed to be having an argument in hushed voices.

As one, the three of us backed out of the room, and knocked loudly on the door. Then we walked back inside to see Coin and Haymitch, standing apart; the former glaring at the latter. Haymitch walked over to us, and pulled me into a hug. I was surprised. He never showed any emotion. Never.

It didn't last very long; only a couple of seconds, but when he pulled away, she saw her expression of shock mirrored on both Finnick and Peeta's faces.

Haymitch coughed with embarrassment, then lent in and whispered,

"Katniss, I'm so sorry." Then he walked to the other side of the room, determinately glaring at the wall. I glanced at Peeta; he shrugged. I took his hand, and we walked further into the room.

I was surprised that there was no-one there; Boggs had walked in not long after us, but he was all. Coin, finally giving up glaring at Haymitch, came to me.

"Katniss." She said. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. But she didn't. She just stood there, staring at me.

She wasn't staring at me like anybody else ever had. It wasn't in pity, or admiration, or simply like a piece of meat, as the Gamemakers had looked at me. She was looking at me as if she was evaluating me… but not quite. I wasn't sure what it was, actually.

Then I picked it. She was detached, like she didn't see me as a person at all; more like an object she was considering to buy. Not in the way the Gamemakers were; she wasn't looking at me like a toy, or entertainment, or even a slave. She was looking at me like a puppet. I'm sure that doesn't make any sense, but it's the only way I can describe it. It was like she was playing chess, and was trying to decide her next move, weighing her options.

She still hadn't said anything, and so I decided to break the silence.

"Yes?" Oh, very nice, Katniss. That'll make her like you more.

"You're depressed." She didn't say it like she was worried, like she cared. The said it in a matter-of-fact tone. She might have been telling me we were having gruel for dinner.

"Really? I wonder why that might be?" I knew the moment the words were out of my mouth that they were a mistake, but at that point I couldn't care less. She was irritating me to no end. Of course I was depressed! My sister, pretty much the reason I kept myself alive all those years, the reason I went to the Hunger Games in the first place, had just died. My mother was so depressed she couldn't move! My best friend was in the Capitol, and had been tortured for months now; I don't even know if he's alive! What did she expect?

Coin was glaring at me now, and Haymitch found it necessary to step in.

"Stop. President, you know what she's been going through. You know what it feels like. Give her some slack. You know how to make this better; just tell her already!" What did Haymitch mean, Coin knew what I was going through? Did she lose someone? I shook that thought, as well as my wonder at Haymitch yelling at Coin, out of my mind, and concentrated on the more pressing matter.

What did Coin know?

Coin glared at Haymitch – she seemed to be doing that a lot – and turned to me. Actually, no, I realized. She turned to us. Well, obviously, she was going to talk to Finnick and Peeta a well. A voice that sounded strangely like Prim's flew into my head.

You're not the center of the world, you know, Katniss.

I smiled slightly, and returned my attention to Coin.

She sighed, then began to speak.

"As you know, we have many spies placed throughout the Capitol. As well as informing us of the Capitol's military intentions, they are all watching for unusual movements and reporting them. One of them reported back this morning." She looked at the three of us. My eyes were wide as I stared at her, and I'm sure the others were the same. Why was she telling use this? "They have the location of the captured Victors, as well as other captured people of importance."

It took a while for this to sink in. A second after it did, I heard a gasp to my right, and I knew Finnick realize it as well.

"Do you mean…" He whispered, his voice shaking, "You know where Annie…"

"Yes, Mr. Odair. We have managed to locate Victors Johanna Mason and Annie Cresta. We also have the location of Gale Hawthorne."

I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"You mean…" I whispered, sounding just like Finnick had not a minute before. "He's, he's alive?"

Coin nodded.

I felt like dancing for joy, but my happiness was squashed with the next words that came from Coin's mouth.

"Yes. He is alive, but he is not believed to be in a good state. He will undoubtedly be very damaged if he survives this… both physically and mentally. We believe he must be in a bad condition if he is no longer being shown on the T.V."

I started to shake, and probably would have fallen over if Peeta hadn't grabbed me by the waist. I leaned into him, trying to merge into his figure. I wanted to cease existing. But, once again, Coins next words completely change my view on life.

"Katniss, we all know you have been distracted lately. You cannot work to your full potential with… what has been going on. I know this is not your fault. My own sister…" She paused, and her eyes gained a far away look. She did have a sister then. Well, by the sound of things, used to have a sister. That must be what Haymitch meant when he said that Coin should have understood me better. Did her sister get killed by the Capitol too? I wonder if that is why Coin is so cold, and so determined to destroy the Capitol at any cost.

I'm not sure if it's true, but that thought has given me a new respect for President Alma Coin. A respect that was about to be strengthened.

"Anyway. The point is, I know that it is impossible to function properly when surrounded by such loss, and when some-one close to you is in the clutches of the Capitol. This goes for you too, Finnick," she said, nodding at the man in question. "So, I, along with the rest of the board, have decided something."

She glanced between Peeta and I, clutching at each other, to Finnick, standing alone.

"We are going to conduct a rescue mission."

We stood there, waiting for the news to sink in. A rescue mission? Seriously?

I chuckled, for the first time in a long time. I guess the odd feeling of feeling disbelieve, amazement, excitement and anger all at the same time brought it out.

"Right, right. Let me guess. You're going to fly in there on a hovercraft, pick up Annie, Johanna, and Gale, then fly back here. Sure."

Coin glared at me.

"You don't understand how hard this is," she hissed. "We are trying to organize the rescue of three people that we do not need to win this war, just to make you three happy, and how do you thank me? If you don't want me to get them, fine!"

I couldn't move. She meant it. She actually meant it.

Luckily, Finnick came to the rescue.

"Really? You would do that for us?"

"For the good of the country." Huffed Coin.

Well, what can you expect? Of course she isn't doing it for us, she's doing it to make us work better. But at the moment I couldn't care less.

"When?" I whispered.

"A team is being sorted as I speak. I figure that's why you're here, Boggs?"

Boggs nodded.

"We've got everyone. They're starting the plan, but we need you there as soon as possible." Coin nodded.

"I'll meet you there."

Boggs swiftly left the room, and Coin turned back to us.

"They plan to leave tomorrow, mid morning. We are going to need you to film some good propos in the morning, so we can use them as a distraction while the team goes in." I nodded, but a flash of anger crossed Finnick's face.

"We aren't going?"

"No. You must stay here, or they won't have any cover." Finnick seemed to be about to retaliate, but he saw the logic in her argument and stopped.

Like me, he just seemed glad that something was finally being done.

~~0~~

That night, we found ourselves once again sitting on the floor, fiddling with a piece of rope. Peeta and I had our own rope this time, so we were able to copy Finnick's moves, and made a bit more progress.

"So, what do you think you guys'll do?" I asked.

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe I could do something with you." Peeta glanced up from his attempted monkey fist, and I smiled at him.

"What about you, Finnick?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas," He grinned, somewhat evilly. "You'll have to wait and see. It's a secret." He winked at me, and I frowned, trying to decide what he meant. "What do you think you'll do? Any idea's?"

"I was thinking of talking about Rue, actually," I said. "Since Coin moved her family here, I think It'll be a safe topic, and effective."

Coin had moved Rue's family to Thirteen, after a spy had heard that the Capitol wanted to capture them to, surprise, surprise, make me feel bad. I hadn't seen them; I didn't feel up to talking to the family of the girl I was unable to save.

"That's a good idea," said Peeta thoughtfully. "What if we did a couple like that? We could talk about quite a few people that died because of the Capitol. Mags, Wiress, Thresh, Chaff, Seeder, Blight, those Morphlings from Six. We could ask Haymitch to maybe talk about some District Twelve tributes, Finnick, maybe you could talk about some of the not-so-career tribute you mentored… You never know, we might hit a nerve somewhere."

"That's a great idea!" I exclaimed. "The some Capitol citizens might feel guilty, or something, and then they'd, I don't know, realize we have a point?"

Peeta reached over and grabbed my hand, rubbing soothing circles into the back of it with his thumb.

"They already know we have a point, Katniss. Deep down, they know. You saw them before the Quell. They know it's wrong. They just don't want to believe it. That's all we have to do. Make them believe."

"That's impossible."

"No, I don't think so." Said Finnick, staring at Peeta. "Some of them think the Games are wrong. One of them told me, 'It's great entertainment, but I think it's a little cruel that the children have to suffer. But I don't want it to stop. It's a part of my life.' They're afraid of change, and they've all grown up on it; it's the only think they know. But deep down, I think they, at least, get our point."

I stared at Finnick. Could it be true?

"No," I said, shaking my head. "They can't. How could they send us out there to be killed with no more thought than a farmer sending a cow to be butchered if they care?"

"They only care a little," said Peeta. "Not enough for them to realise it themselves." When he said that, he stared at me so intensely I wasn't sure if he was still talking about the Capitol.

"Maybe," I said. "But I doubt it. They don't care. They can't."

"They're in denial," Muttered Finnick, chuckling. I glared at him. This wasn't a laughing matter.

"But… How?" I whispered.

"Katniss, trust me." Peeta had that look in is eye again. It was pleading, yes. But it was also soft, and caring.

"I do." I said without hesitation. A look of joy passed over Peeta's face, but it was gone so soon I thought I must have imagined it.

"Then believe us."

I nodded slightly, and Peeta smiled again.

"I still don't understand though…"

"Neither do I," muttered Finnick.

Peeta sighed.

"I told you. They know, just really deep down. They just don't want to believe it. That's all we have to do. Make them believe."

I shook my head for what seemed like the millionth time that evening, and looked back down at my 'knot', more accurately described as a tangled mess.

So, I know a few of them might have been a bit OOC. I apologise for that. Also, I know the ending was a bit odd. But I have a plan for the end of the fic, so I needed that to be there. Another thing, (gee, I seem to be apologising a lot. Ignore me If you find apologising annoying... :P ) some of you may think Katniss moved on from Prim a little quick... I just didn't want to drag it out too long, It's get boring.

Just in case you were wondering, a monkey fist is a type ball-shaped knot. I've been trying to tie one for ages but they are soo hard. And I bet now I've typed that some-one is going to read this and know how to tie one... -glares- ah well.