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The Akatsuki's Meow

5. Evil kitty and deadly baths

"SHUT UP SNOW BALL!"

Wham. A stiletto was thrown down the steps and hit the cat's cage.

It tipped over, ending up being trapped in the corner.

'What the fuck? Now I can't see a damn thing!' Hissed the surprised cat.

Deidara had his neck turned, facing the silver neko's direction. 'Oh great. Our alarm system is down.' Then looked forward, gazing at the cat. 'So what if we killed your master. What do you plan to do about it, un?' Smirked the cat. Said kuroneko growled.

'I will resurrect her with the souls of nine thousand cats.'

'Nine thousand kitties? That's a lot of kitties!' Mewed an excited Tobi.

'Yes it is. First, I'll start with you three.'

'Make that four.'

The black cat looked up. 'Hm? Who goes there?' he questioned puzzlement. A shadow with red eyes stood in the distance.

"Are you part of the gang that won't shut the fuck up?" Questioned the activated voice.

'Maybe.' Grinned the cat.

It parted, disappearing in black smoke. Then reemerged, behind her in human form. It was naked and stood five foot seven. Long spiky hair cascaded down his back. Instead of normal ears, he had..kitty ears? A spooky tail? Sakura freaked out at his nakedness and swung her fist at him, which didn't exactly work.

He caught it. "Your a pretty female. What's your name?"

Sakura hesitated when the foe touched her smooth hands. She swatted it away. "None of your business."

"Why not?" Frowned the cat. She groaned.

"Cause, your a cat."

Kuroneko cocked his head to the side. "Hm? That's not a good answer.."

Deidara moved ahead, trotting towards them. 'Stay away from her!' growled the neko.

He launched him self over the furniture and collided with the cat turned ningen. The human fell over to the floor, and went away in a puff of smoke; revealing the black cat. It slowly started to get up, trying to recover from the blow.

'That wasn't very nice..' Scowled the cat. It smirked devilishly. 'I guess you don't want to become human again..'

"Human?" Blinked the pinkette.

Deidara panicked inside, but didn't show it. 'Stop fucking lying! Un!'

'Why? I'm sure the human girl wants to know why your colony is like this.'

Instead of freaking out, he only laughed. 'What ever. I just realized that she can't speak cat..'

'Ohohoho.. that's when your wrong. Bonding with the girl makes your emotions stronger.'

'Really? We get to talk with Miss Cherry?' Mewed Tobi.

Kuroneko nodded. 'Exactly. But first, you must reunite with all cats.'

"What the hell are idiots meowing about?" Shrieked Sakura.

The black cat cocked its head to the side. 'I thought you were smarter then this..?'

"Why yes I am. Not in animal physics. You need to talk with Kiba about that."

'Well, I shall be off. Seeking revenge shouldn't be a problem for me now.'

Sakura including the cats watched the black cat vanish from sight. She signed for a bit and fell back wars into an arm chair. The pinkette had her arms and legs spread out then took a light snooze through out the night.

Except for three kitties.

'Mm, this is not good. What would Pein think of this?' Asked a concerned Tobi to Deidara.

'What he doesn't know won't paralyze him.'

'We have to tell somebody. Being trapped as cats isn't good for my health.'

'Fine. I'll discuss it with the rest tomorrow, un.'

...

-Next day-

'What do you mean that a black kitty wants to resurrect neko baa?' Shrieked a blue kitten.

'Yes, it's true. That monster wants neko no baka back..' Frowned Deidara.

Pein was with them. 'Does this have something to do with our annoying care giver?'

'No. That dumb ass said that we must reunite with all cats, un.'

'Which means that we require Itachi in order to complete the circle.' Added the orange tabby. Deidara nodded.

'Luckily we don't know when, or where he is!' smiled Tobi.

'What if he decides to just waltz right back in?' Questioned Kisame out of the blue.

'Oh hell no. We'll just have to lock up the mother fucking doors.' Mewed Hidan.

'Um.. hello. Were cats..' Hinted Deidara with a frown. 'The only way we can get all the windows and doors locked is if there's a burglary or something.'

'Burger? ooh, ooh! I want a burger!'

Deidara smacked him upside the head with his paw. 'You fool. There is no damn burgers here, un.'

While the two kittens bickered with each other, Pein twitched his ears. Sasori noticed his monkey business scenario.

'What is the matter?' Asked Sasori.

Pein answered him. 'I hear running water..'

'Running water?' Repeated Deidara. He paused for the bit, and hissed. 'OH NOES! WATER!'

But nothing came.

'That's strange. Usually they make her come out of nowhere and scream bath time during this moment..' Trailed a confused Pein.

'Maybe she drowned..' Shrugged Kisame.

'That's not nice. Miss Sakura is built to swim. I think..'

'Why don't we find out?' Suggested a perverted feline. All the men kittys smirked.

'Oh hell yes. Were going on a bloody ass panty raid.' Mewed an excited Hidan. 'Thongs, g strings and panties galore!'

'I'll pass.' Frowned Sasori. Pein made his dicision with him.

'Humph.. you two can guard the door for intruders.' Suggested the silver feline.

Sasori frowned deeper. 'I do not guard for air..'

'Ditto.'

'Well what the hell do you want? A nasty ass Scooby snack?'

'Negative. A g-string would be pleasurable to find.'

'Ditto.' Replied Pein once again.

'Oh boy..' Groaned the yellow and white kitten. He turned, walking towards the opening of the living room. 'This way g-string ero sannins..'

...

'Tities, tities, tities.. TITIES!'

'Shush. Something is moving in the shower.' Demanded Kisame.

'What? Tobi want to see!'

'Shit. I cant cause there's a dumbass monkey in the way, un.'

'Who the fuck is in your way?'

'You bitch, hmm.'

'Oh. My dumbass fault.'

Hidan moved out the way so Deidara could see.

'Hohoohho, this is getting better by the second.' Chuckled the yellow cat in it's mind.;

'Ahehe, I see a.. um..a..'

'Spit it out mother fucker!' Cursed Hidan.

'Tobi can't. What if theres a whole bunch of kiddies reading this fic?'

'Who gives a rats ass. They shouldn't be reading anyways.' Commented Deidara.

'No really. Isn't this fic Tobi is in rated T?''

'Oh yeah, I forgot.' Mewed a depressed Deidara.

'Well, this stupid ass fic should have been rated M.'

'Except its not. So keep your silly imature comments to your self, hmmm.'

'Fine.' Humphed the silver kitten.

All the kitties kept their mouths shut so they could watch the peep show. A few movements were going on behind the curtians as the cherry blossom was scrubbing here and there.

'Err.. I'm so pissed off. Can't even get a boner off this.' Growled Deidara.

'Tobi too. Tobi can't feel a bone on his crotch.'

Silence took over the enitre bathroom.

'Your stupid ass fuck, un.'

'Ooh, you said fuck! Tobi hear Deidara-sama meow the word fuck!'

'Oh my gosh, be quiet.' Hissed Kisame. 'I'm trying to watch the damn show!'

-Meanwhile inside the shower-

"What's that awful racket?" Questioned the blossom.

She moved through the steam and found her self near the glass. All the toms except the other two were having a blast while staring at her shower process. This has to stop..

"Oh hell no!" she shouted in rage, then busted through the glass.

-Outside the glass-

Tobi watched the woman pop out. 'Omgosh, it's in 3D?'

'Hell yes! I mean oh hell no, she's coming straight for us!' Exclaimed Hidan.

'Run for your kitty lives!' Hollered a stressed out yellow and white tabby.

...

Pein and Sasori were busy guarding the door from intruder. It depends though; what type of intruder? Dust bunnies? Roaches? ET? They haven't got a clue. For a while, they grew bored and planned to leave and go digest a dead borf.

'Are you kidding me? I don't swallow dead birds..' Frowned Pein.

'Ditto.' Replied Sasori.

'Fuck this. I'm leaving to go hump a stuffed animal.'

'Are you serous? The stuffed animal doesn't want you.'

'Shut up. I can do what the fuck I god damn please.'

'Go ahead. Leave. Then the whole world would know that your a pu..'

Sasori didn't have enough time to finish his sentence when the door busted open revealing three wet nekos and a girl. He grew red at the face and kept staring while Pein was just plain montone.

He was stuck in a cement like cocoon. 'Jackpot.' he thought in awe.

Sakura looked down at her whole body, then back up at the cats. "D-did you just see me n-naked?"

'Yes we did. Minus Itachi..' Mewed Sasori.

'Tobi see all your goodies! Can Tobi trick or treat on your body?'

"Eek, I have exposued my self to nothing but furry creatures!" Squeaked the pinkette.

'Gimme more. NOW!' Growled Hidan.

Sakura moved back in shock when the cats started to gain up on her. She freaked out when they clawed her ankles and made throaty growls of male hornyness. Oh the humanity.

"I AM NOT CAT NIP!"

Tobi rubbed up against her leg. 'Of course you are.. Gimme some cat nip please!' purred the Savannah.

Sakura's eyes darted from right to left. 'What to do. What to do..' Thought the girl in a complete frenzy. She spotted a bucket of water used for moping in the bathroom. Sakura leaped over the kitties, (which made them very happy) and stole the bucket from the ground and splashed it on them.

What she found wasn't good..

A/N: I guess that's it for now. There will be more in June.

Please review! Reviews make me happy.

Tobi: Psycho shall return soon! Bye-bye!