I stared at him. He was apologising? Good, he should feel bad for what he did. Part of me desperately wanted to forgive him. That was the part that was still in love with him, but I kept denying, even to myself, how big a part of me that was. The other, much smaller, part wanted to see him suffer for all the pain that he caused me. In an attempt to avoid him, I hadn't gone home as much as I wanted to. I would get Charlie to come down to California and visit me there or I would spend the holidays with my mum and her husband in Florida. I know that I hurt him by not coming home much, only when I could be sure that he wouldn't be there, but he understood why I felt like that. Charlie had been great through it all. Between Edward ending it and me going to college he was simply there. If I ever needed to cry or rant or whatever he would sit with me through it and the only time he gave me any advice was when I had to almost drag it out of him. We weren't always close and neither of us was very good at talking about our feelings but he had been great during that time. I really did miss him.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I know it was stupid but I was stupid and young and scared. I didn't know how much I loved you and how amazing it was being with you until I lost you. You'd been there with me my entire life, I didn't realise how horrible life could be without you in it..."

He continued rambling on but I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Before today we hadn't spoken in six years and he's suddenly apologising for breaking up with me. I had to be dreaming. Although this wasn't exactly the same setting, I used to dream about him coming to me and apologising, begging for my forgiveness and another chance. Sometimes I would refuse him, it would break my dream-me's heart to do it but I would. Other times I would forgive him and we would kiss and live happily ever after.

But this was no dream, this was reality and, as I had learnt the hard way, life's a bitch. If you think you have everything you could ever want it will turn around and take it all away from you. I know this is a very bitter and cynical outlook on life but if you'd been through even half of what I have in the past year, you'd be pretty bitter too.

"...And I realise that I must have hurt you so much when I told you all that but you have to believe me, I didn't mean any of it. I was scared about going to college on the other side of the country to my friends and where I didn't know anyone. I'd heard so many stories about guys cheating on their girlfriends while they were in college and I didn't want to hurt you or betray you like that. I thought it would be better to end it before anything like that could happen but I was stupid. I understand if you hate me for what I did, I hate me for what I did but do you think you could find it in yourself to forgive me? I understand if you can't but I need to hear the words directly from you and not through the Forks gossip chains."

He was looking directly into my eyes, begging me with those green eyes of his, eyes which he knew that I had been powerless to refuse once upon a time. I didn't know how much his very presence still affected me but when I looked into his eyes and saw the cocktail of emotions swirling in those orbs I knew that I still loved him. But could I forgive him? To that I had no idea how to answer. I was so confused.

"I... I don't know..." but I was saved from answering any more by the plane landing suddenly on the runway. Edward looked so crushed at my answer but I think I saw the tiniest flicker of hope that I didn't say no, that there might be a chance of me forgiving him, some day in the future. The very distant future if my cynical and heartbroken part had anything to say about it.

A rather uncomfortable silence spread between us while the plane taxied to the terminal and we waited to be allowed off. I almost ran off the plane but I could sense that Edward was not too far behind me the entire way through customs and while we all had to wait for our luggage. It wasn't until I saw my suitcase and began to reach for it did he attempt to make any form of contact with me again. He reached past me and grabbed my tattered old suitcase off of the conveyor belt and set it down at our feet. I suddenly realised something.

"How are you getting to Forks?" I asked, not entirely politely I have to admit.

"My parents are picking me up, how else would I be getting home?" he asked while looking at me like I had officially lost my mind.

That was what I had been afraid of.

"Oh, it's just Esme said that they'd pick me up as well."

"Well we made it through a two hour flight without you giving in to the need to cut off my balls so I think we should be able to manage the drive to Forks without anything too bad happening. Besides my parents will be there to referee if things do get out of hand." I couldn't help but chuckle at this. Yes, Esme and Carlisle were very good at refereeing when we started fighting when we were younger. I didn't realise it then but that was the first time I laughed without having to force it for about three months.

He got his bags from the belt and put all of our bags on to the trolley beside him. I only had one suitcase while he had one suitcase and one of those bags with wheels on them, both of which were huge. I guess some things don't change, this guy still did not understand the concept of packing light. That is unless he was staying for longer than I assumed. I thought he would be staying for a week tops and then going back to wherever it is that he lives to work or a girlfriend. At the thought of him having a girlfriend I felt my chest tighten and my breathing stop for a second. I knew that I was still in love with him but that didn't mean that I had any claim over him. I couldn't understand why that thought suddenly bothered me so much but it did. Maybe it was because I had done my best to think about him as little as possible for the last six years.

We made our way out into the entrance of the terminal where Esme and Carlisle had said they'd meet us with Edward pushing the trolley and I was following behind. I only got an occasional glimpse of Edward's face as we walked but from what I could see he was obviously thinking something over intently. Since he wasn't really paying attention to the crowds around him, I was the first to notice Esme and Carlisle stood about twenty feet away from us. I immediately turned and walked over to them. I don't think Edward realised I was no longer following him until I had almost reached his parents. Esme welcomed me with open arms and massive hug; she had always been like a second mother to me.

"Bella, dear, I've missed you! I'm so sorry."

"I've missed you too, Esme."

She gave me another tight squeeze and then released me. I turned to greet Carlisle while Edward greeted his mum. Carlisle was the Chief Surgeon at Forks Hospital and it had been very handy living next door to him when I got injured by my clumsiness as a child and throughout my teen years.

"How's my favourite patient doing? No serious injuries from the flight that need looking at?" This was exactly what I needed right now, a sense of normality. That was the typical greeting Carlisle gave me any time he saw me and it helped, it helped me to not dwell on how much I missed Charlie or how bad everything has been in my life.

"No, there are no injuries that need your attention. I managed to avoid any form of physical injury, for once." We both understood the rarity of that.

Once Edward had greeted his father they walked ahead while Esme and I followed them to the car. She had her arm linked through mine but she held me back a little first.

"Bella, I realise that it will be difficult for you two to be in the same car. We were going to bring two but my car is in the garage," Esme whispered to me so that Edward wouldn't hear.

"That's fine, Esme. I've already had to sit next to him on the flight," she looked at me quickly. "It's a long story. So I think I can manage being in a car with you and Carlisle there as well."

Esme gave me a brief one armed hug and we continued walking through the multi-storey car park. By the time we reached the car Carlisle and Edward were lifting the last of our bags into the boot. To do something other than stand around awkwardly I returned the trolley to one of the designated bays. When I got back Carlisle was just getting into the driver's seat after letting Esme in and Edward was simply stood beside the car. As I got to the car, Edward opened the door for me but he stopped me just as I was about to get in.

"Bella, I'm still in love with you and I will find a way to prove it to you."

So what did you all think? Review and let me know. Any constructive criticism or ideas for where you want or think this story to going would be greatly appreciated. I'm writing chapter 4 at the moment but I'm struggling slightly so reviews might help me get writing. I have plenty of ideas for where I want this story to go and a lot of the later chapters are planned out in my mind but I just have to press on through these first few to get there. Also I think my chapters are getting slightly longer with each new chapter which is good. I always worry that they're not long enough or are just plain boring.

I also start my university end of year exams on monday so I really want to get the next chapter written over the next few days so that I can update next week but if the next few chapters are a bit late please don't hate me. But the good news is that my last exam is the 10th May and then I don't have uni again until the end of September so there will be plenty of updates then (hopefully).

Natters

P.S. Follow me on Twitter, you know you want to :) /Natters999