Me again! I'm really sorry this took so long to write. I've been agonising over how to get through this chapter and I finally got an idea today. I've got lots of bits for later in the story planned out but they didn't make sense until I got this chapter sorted. I'm not going to make any promises on when the next chapter will be up because I kind of suck at keeping to a writing programme but please bear with me and don't give up on this story! I will keep writing but the updates might be few and far between, I get bouts of writing ideas and then nothing for a long while.

Oh and by the way, when I say football in this chapter I mean proper football, not American football. I do use American terminology occasionally but there are some words that I physically cannot bring myself to write, including "soccer" and "Mom" *shudder* to name two in particular. I have nothing against anyone who uses any of these words, I just haven't been brought up to say or write them and it physically pains me to use them, so it's a good thing I live in England and not America when it comes to vocabulary.

Right, that's sorted, on with the story!

"Bella, I'm still in love with you and I will find a way to prove it to you."

And with that he let me get into the car, shut my door and got in the other side. He didn't look at me again for the entire journey to Forks. He simply stared out of the window with the same look of intense concentration that had been on his face earlier. I couldn't help but glance over at him every few minutes. I was almost excited about how he was going to try to convince me that he loves me but another part of me was terrified. I was scared about what would happen to me if I let him in again. What would I do if he left again? What would I do if it turns out he has a girlfriend and this has all been a game for his sick pleasure? My mind went into overdrive thinking of all the possible outcomes, some better than others.

If Carlisle and Esme heard what Edward said to me before we got in the car, they didn't let it show. They managed to somehow keep the conversation going for most of the journey and if there were any silences they tried not to make them awkward. Carlisle and Esme were very good at making people feel at ease around them and I've never been more grateful for that particular ability of theirs until now.

I hardly noticed the passing scenery or the time it took at make the 181 mile journey from SeaTac airport to Forks. I was too busy to notice much apart from Edward. Although my mind was whirring I seemed to be hyper aware of his every movement and expression. I couldn't quite comprehend what he said or what might happen over the next few weeks.

All too soon we were pulling into the Cullen's driveway. I got out of the car before Edward had a chance to open my door for me. When we were younger he would always try to open my door for me, that was one of the many things I loved about him, but I couldn't deal with all the memories that thought brought up. That was in vain though because as soon as I stepped out of the car and took one look towards my house I was assaulted by memories of my childhood. Charlie teaching me how to ride a bike, playing on the front lawn with my friends, Carlisle bandaging my ankle after I sprained it tripping over yet another tree root, the truck that Charlie had given me for my 16th birthday... it was all coming back to me.

I could feel the tears begin to well in my eyes as I saw each memory unfold in my mind's eye. I was so caught up in the past that I didn't notice Esme standing next to me until she put her hand on my shoulder. I wanted to look at her but I couldn't take my eyes off Charlie's house.

Esme didn't say a word; she simply guided me into her house while I assume Edward and Carlisle got our bags. We went into the kitchen where Esme proceeded to make everyone a cup of coffee.

"I don't think I can go in there, Esme," I said but it came out as no more than a whisper.

She tuned to look at me. "Bella, I know this is hard for you. You know that you're very welcome to stay here for as long as you need. But you will have to go in there at some point."

"I know and thank you. It's just so hard to believe that he's actually gone."

"I wish there was something more that we could do to help you. The pain of losing a parent is only surpassed by that of losing a child in my experience. I wouldn't wish either on my worst enemy." Esme came over to me then and gave me another hug but this was one of comfort and understanding. She had lost a child only a year or two after Edward was born and his parents refused to go through that again. I remember Edward telling me when we were 14 and his parents told him when he asked why they didn't have more children.

That was how Carlisle and Edward found us a few minutes later, with our arms around each other as tears fell down our faces while the kettle was bubbling away on the counter. When we finally released the other and turned to face them, they seemed to know already what had upset us both so much. Carlisle silently turned off the kettle and guided Esme out of the room while Edward and I simply stared at each other. I didn't know what to say to him. Part of me already felt ashamed for what I'd said to him on the plane but I think it needed to be said. Another wave of grief and remorse swept through me and although I tried to suppress it, I let out a sob before trying to turn away. I didn't want Edward to see me like this.

He wouldn't let me though because a moment later I found myself in his arms and it was like the breaking of the dam that I had tried to hide my emotions behind. I ended up sobbing into his chest while he held me tightly in his arms. I felt safe and at home for the first time in a long while and I just let everything pour out of me.

I don't know how long I cried for but at some point my legs gave out and we ended up sat on the kitchen floor. Edward, to his credit, never let me go. He just kept holding me, rubbing my back and whispering reassurances into my ears. It took a long time for my tears to run dry but even longer before I felt like I could leave the protection offered by Edward's arms. I finally opened my eyes and pulled back from him a little to see his face.

"Thank you," was the only thing I could think of to say at that particular moment. "I'm getting fed up with crying all the time but I think I needed that."

Edward gave me one final squeeze and then loosened his arms around me a little. I was reluctant to move and break the spell that had seemed to settle over us. I was glad that we weren't arguing or anything for the time being, it was the last thing I needed right now. I just needed someone to help me though this.

"Bella, I know how much I must have hurt you six years ago but I want to try to make it up to you. I understand that you'll have trouble trusting me again. I want to prove to you that I'm still the boy that was your best friend/boyfriend but that I've grown up and realised just how wrong my decision was to lie to you and end our relationship. I never stopped loving you."

"I know Edward, I never stopped loving you either," Edward looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once, "but I don't think I'm ready for anything like that right now. I need to get through all this and try to sort out my life before I can even think about getting into anything again."

He looked a bit like someone had just asked him to eat his puppy. "I understand. But just know that I am truly sorry for what I did and said. I want you to trust me like you used to."

"I want that too but it's going to take me a while to be able to." Edward nodded but I could still see the sadness in his eyes. "How about for now we meet in the middle? Friends?"

I held out my hand to him and he took it gratefully and shook it. "Friends."

Neither of us could hide the small smiles caused by our agreement. I tried to squash the impulse to throw my arms round him like I would have so many years ago. It was at that moment that Edward's stomach decided to make its presence known and grumbled loudly. We both jumped at the sound and Edward even blushed slightly but I pretended not to notice it as I looked around for the time on the oven clock.

19.02

I tried to jump up when I realised how late it was but I ended up crashing back down onto the floor when my legs refused to cooperate with me. I hadn't noticed that my legs had gone numb while we were sat on the floor and it took a few minutes before we both felt that our legs had regained enough feeling to be able to support us.

We decided to make dinner for everyone and settled on spaghetti Bolognese, something quick and easy to do. Just before the food was ready Carlisle and Esme walked returned to the kitchen. Neither of them showed any outward sign of the emotions that had been stirred earlier but I noticed them standing closer to the other, more than usual anyway.

Dinner was filled with idle chatter about the happenings among the residents of Forks and some of the more ridiculous patients that Carlisle sees at the hospital. I couldn't help but feel guilty though, I'd obviously upset all three of the Cullen's on my first day back in Forks, that definitely wasn't what I wanted to happen. So when Esme began clearing our plates away I got up to help and followed her into the kitchen.

"Esme, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh dear, I know you didn't. It wasn't your fault anyway. I believe everything happens for a reason and I've made my peace with that but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes feel upset about it. It's okay to cry sometimes, Bella, no one that truly cares for you will judge you for it, and those that do obviously aren't worth your time." And with that she gave me one final hug before following the men into the living room.

I went to follow her but when I noticed they were watching the highlights of the football games from the weekend I decided to give it a miss and say my good nights. I did like watching sports but they were always on the TV in the coffee shop at weekends so I'd already seen most of the games being shown. I quickly got ready for bed and checked my phone. I'd forgotten to let Alice and Rose know that I'd landed and got back to Forks alright so there were the standard worried texts and voicemails but I really didn't feel up to facing them tonight so I sent them both a really apologetic text saying that I'd run into an ex and I'd fill them in on the details when they got here. I know it was wrong of me and that my best friends were simply worried about me but my eyes were starting to droop and I would have likely fallen asleep on the phone to them. They deserved the whole story and not a brief overview which is likely all they would have gotten out of me before I passed out.

I turned my phone off and tried to get comfortable in the giant bed of one of the Cullen's guest rooms that they'd kindly given me for as long as I needed it during this stay. I needed to try to get some sleep; tomorrow was not going to be an easy day, I had to start planning my father's funeral.