A/N: So I had a problem posting chapters which added to the delay. It would download but not let me post them to the story. Weird. All reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated.
I still don't own any wolves. double sigh.
Quil POV
The two days Claire was gone for Christmas were torturous. It was the first time since she learned the truth that I couldn't see her every day and I really didn't handle it well. I kept panicking and worrying that she wouldn't come back or something would happen to her and I wouldn't be there. I had nightmares along those lines each time I tried to sleep. It took all my focus and energy to pay attention to my family on Christmas and I would have felt guilty if they didn't all understand. So my mother happily shooed me out of the house when it was time for Claire to come back.
I got to Sam's early and said hi to him and his family. I figured it was better that they knew I was there. I couldn't stay inside though because I felt like a caged animal. I left after pacing the kitchen ten times. So I sat on the front steps and after a half hour I was thrilled when I saw Mark's car coming down the road. I almost jumped out of my skin waiting for the blasted car to stop though. I never made the conscious decision to move but found myself practically pulling Claire out of the car and I couldn't get her in my arms fast enough. I breathed in her scent and reveled in it, getting a slight high from having her near me again. She sighed and relaxed in my arms as I held her close.
"Hi." She murmured quietly into my shoulder.
"Welcome home." I whispered back.
I could have stayed in that spot happily for a long time but Mark tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw him watching us with the slightly sad smile of a father who knows his daughter is growing up. I slowly lowered her back to the ground but held onto her when her knees buckled at first. She got her footing and I moved beside her, keeping an arm around her shoulders.
"Hey Quil. Did you have a good Christmas?" Mark asked.
"It was okay; you know, all the usual family stuff." I said. "How was yours?"
"It was good to have the whole family there. But as promised, I've brought Claire back early." Mark said with a smile aimed at Claire. "She started getting antsy last night and Sally and I knew we couldn't get her to stay any longer."
"Dad." Claire's head dropped a little in embarrassment so I squeezed her slightly.
"I was anxious to see her too. I have big plans for the rest of the week."
"What kind of plans?" Mark asked and Claire looked up at me curiously.
"Top secret ones. I've got a few surprises up my sleeve." I answered proudly.
Mark just chuckled and we went inside. Alex was busy playing a new video game with Tyler. The twins were playing with Jared's daughter Tasha, all enjoying their new Christmas toys. Sam was at the kitchen table reading a book and Emily was moving between them all snapping photos on her new digital camera. Sam was excited to get it for her and he was totally right: Emily looked more than happy with the gift. She paused after taking a shot of us walking in the door and she smiled widely.
"Hello there! Come in, come in. Can I get you anything? Are you hungry or thirsty? How was your Christmas?" Emily asked as she pulled Mark and then Claire into tight hugs. I just laughed. You had to love Emily.
I let Claire leave my side to go say hi to her cousins but I couldn't help watching her move around the room and greet her cousins while I sat at the table with the rest of the adults.
"Quil." A firm voice next to me brought my attention back.
"Huh?" I turned to my right to look at Mark, who had spoken.
"Could you stop staring at my daughter for a minute?" his voice was just a little too hard to be joking.
"Sorry. Yeah. I just missed her." I looked down at my hands on the table, consciously avoiding looking up because I knew my eyes would seek her out first.
"Do you and I need to have a talk about Claire?" Mark asked with raised eyebrows, referring to an agreement we made shortly after I imprinted on Claire that I would talk to him before I made a move on Claire.
"No." I grumbled. "It's not like that yet. I was just jumpy having her go away, after what happened before. . ." I trailed off.
"He's been on his best behavior. I can vouch for him." Sam came to my defense.
"Just checking. I miss her too you know. I thought I would have at least until the end of high school before she moved out of the house. I just lost a few years." Mark said.
"Sorry." I mumbled. "I'm so glad to have her back in my life, I forget what she left behind sometimes."
"Alright boys: enough moping." Emily chimed in. "You both love Claire and its hard to share. We all understand each other. The good news, however, is that she is doing really well. Claire has good friends, is doing well in school, is headache free, and even gets along with my kids. Be happy for her and compare sob stories later."
Sam chuckled and smiled warmly at Emily. "As always, my wife is right. Now tell us about Sally and the kids." he prodded Mark. While he answered I was able to return my attention to Claire who gave me a brilliant smile from across the room when she caught me looking at her.
. . .
The next day I took Claire sledding in the morning and then we went back to the Uley's for a hot lunch. We still had some time that afternoon so we joined the twins in watching a princess movie for a while. I honestly didn't care what we watched since Claire immediately curled up next to me and complained of being cold. I was more than happy to put my arm around her and hold her close to warm her up for an hour and a half.
When the movie ended she told me she needed to shower and get ready for the party at her friend's house. I tried to behave, honestly I did, but I ended up whining a little and Claire promised that I could have her all day tomorrow. I'm not proud of my behavior, but what can I say? I was jealous of the kids she would be hanging out with instead of being with me. I know; I'm a greedy jerk. I'm okay with that.
I'm also a glutton for punishment and I waited around until she came downstairs when she was ready to go. Man, did she look good! I kept repeating to myself that she's only fifteen and still too young, but she sure is growing up nicely. Instead of her usual t-shirt and jeans, she had on a knee length skirt and a soft looking deep purple top that fit her curves nicely.
Don't think about her curves!
You know how when you try really hard not to think about a grey elephant, that suddenly it's the only thing you can think about? Yeah. That's how well I did trying not to appreciate my gorgeous imprint's body.
Luckily, Sam was there for me and he didn't freak out about me looking at his neice that way. Instead he understood, like a good brother, and distracted me right after Claire gave me a hug goodbye. Sam is my new hero. He didn't even make a deal about me staying over all night to wait for Claire to come home. He just told me about some good fishing spots Billy told him about until Embry randomly showed up. Or so I thought. My alpha is a smart man though, and he had been paying attention to exactly what night it was and he came without being asked to help me survive what will probably be the first of many hard nights while Claire has a social life for the next few years in high school. Ugh. I am so dreading this.
But thanks to my friends I almost didn't feel the time pass and suddenly, happily, Claire was walking in the door at 11:00 right on time for her curfew. She closed the door behind her and stifled a yawn as she registered that we were all there.
"What's this: a boy's night in?" she asked, nodding toward Embry and I.
"Yeah. Male bonding and all that." Sam said with a wry smile. "Emily and the kids are in bed so do me a favor and be quiet."
"Sure." She said and sat down next to me. I had been staring at her since she walked in and she gave me a sleepy smile now.
"How was the party?" I asked.
"It was fun. I think it was the best time I've had at a party with kids my age. Nothing compares to a Pack get together though." She joked and then yawned again.
"I'm glad it was good, but you should probably get to bed. You look tired." I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. It's an old habit but I'm finding it has its perks: I get to be close to Claire for a moment without any questions or controversy.
"Okay. See you tomorrow?" she asked, watching me hopefully.
"You couldn't keep me away." I said and she shuffled off, content with my promise.
Once she was out of earshot Embry gave out a low whistle. "You are so whipped!" He teased. "I think you have it worse than any of the rest of the guys in the pack and she's still so young. Just wait till she figures out the power she has and starts using it for her own purposes. Women are tricky man and she's only a girl."
"Yeah. But I will happily be her slave for life." I said, still watching the last spot I could see her.
Sam kicked me sharply under the table while Embry covered his mouth and struggled to hold back his laughter.
"Ow! I didn't even mean it like that! You know how it is – tell me you wouldn't do anything Emily asked you to. Anyone who's ever imprinted is a willing slave."
Sam's shoulders dropped and then he nodded grudgingly. "Fine, but you don't have to give in so easily all the time."
"Hey, I'm still just grateful she'll let me in her presence. I've been without, man, so maybe I just appreciate her more." I retorted.
"Okay, put away your measuring sticks, boys. If all you're going to do is talk about imprint stuff the rest of the night, then I am gone." Embry scooted his chair back from the table and stood up, stretching to his full height.
"Nah, I need to get home." I said, standing as well. "I need my beauty rest."
"Too late." Sam said.
Embry and I laughed as we headed for the door. I thanked Sam for letting me stay and Embry offered to drop me home on his way.
. . .
I showed up the next morning at 11am to find most of the family in the kitchen and front room as usual. Claire was on the couch hanging out with Alex and when she saw me she let out a little squeak and started messing with her hair a little to straighten it in its messy morning ponytail. She's so cute in the morning.
I greeted everyone and slumped down on the couch next to Claire. "Good morning, beautiful." I said and her cheeks pinked a little.
"Hi Quil." She said shyly.
"Did you sleep well? You looked pretty beat last night." I asked.
"Yeah. I was really tired. I don't remember if I brushed my teeth or not so I brushed extra long this morning."
"You brushed before breakfast?"Alex asked in surprise. "But then it makes the orange juice taste bad."
"But we've been out here since breakfast. . . so you haven't brushed yet?" Claire asked in shock.
"Nope." Alex popped the p in his answer and then leaned over to breathe on Claire. She shrunk into my side to escape, hiding her face against my arm.
"Boys are so gross!" she complained.
Alex just laughed. "Then why do you get all dressed up to see them at school and parties?"
"That's different. You wouldn't understand why high school boys are more interesting than you." Claire retorted.
"I hate to break it to you honey, but they don't change that much." I said with a chuckle. They really treated each other like siblings which made me happy because it meant that she really is comfortable here and hopefully won't have a reason to leave until she graduates.
"Ewww. So you do stuff like that too?" Claire sat up and looked at me.
"Naw. I liked girls when I was Alex's age and I learned early on that they like fresh breath so I always brushed. But yeah, guys are usually gross in general, at least, according to girls we are." I said. Alex gave me a fist bump.
Claire shook her head and I heard Emily laugh softly from the kitchen table where she was paying bills.
"Well you don't seem as gross as him." Claire mumbled to me as Alex resumed him video game. I smiled. I wasn't gross.
I ended up waiting while Claire showered and got ready for the day. I played with Alex and helped him tease the twins a little when they came through with their dolls. Because Embry wasn't around Tyler attached himself to me since he seemed to look up to the pack in general. I didn't mind though: he's a good kid. So I kept myself busy for a while until Claire finally came back.
She certainly wasn't making my life any easier either since she looked so cute and was even wearing her hair down which is my favorite. Not that I mind the braid she usually puts her hair in or anything, but seeing her shiny black hair loose and running down her back was definitely one of my favorite sights. We got in my car and talked easily while I drove us to Port Angeles. She told me all about the party last night and I was happy to learn that I had nothing to worry about since she spent most of her time with girls and spoke about the boys almost like brothers.
When we got to the city we had a quick lunch and then went ice skating at an outdoor rink. It was fun even though we fell several times and neither of us will be professional skaters any time soon. Afterward we wandered through town window shopping and I asked Claire what she wants for her birthday next month. She made a face and told me anything would be fine. I asked about her reaction and she said she doesn't like birthday parties. It took a while but she finally explained how they all went bad for the last few years and I felt terrible. She had wanted me to come back. I didn't know it and of course I never did because she told me to stay away, but I felt bad all the same.
I told her this year could break the cycle and she asked me not to throw her a party. I promised I wouldn't, but I never said anything about Emily throwing her one. I happen to know that a plan is already being worked on so she will just have to accept it when the big day comes along.
It is so nice to spend some real alone time with Claire. It's effortless and we walked around for hours just talking and enjoying being together. Nothing could be easier or as comfortable as I am with Claire. I couldn't stop smiling. Even when we stopped for dinner, I just kept grinning like an idiot and when she asked if I was up to something I just told her the truth: I'm happy. She makes me happy.
I didn't want to end such a good day, but I knew I would have two very angry sets of parents after me if I didn't get Claire home by a decent time, so we drove home with enough time to get her home around 10pm. The only good part about that was that she looked just as disappointed to go back as I felt. That eased the sting a little anyway. And somehow we still found things to talk about during the whole drive home. It amazes me how I can spend so much time with this girl and we never run out of things to say to each other. I mean, sure, there are quiet moments, but they aren't awkward silences. And ever after days like today when we were together for a long time I was still planning what we could do tomorrow even while I dropped her off.
I'm constantly amazed by how much I can feel for this girl.
. . .
Claire POV
This Christmas break has been so much fun! I felt a little guilty coming back from my parent's house so quickly after Christmas but Quil made me forget all about that because we have had so much fun. We've been sledding and ice skating and we even baked some cookies together to get ready for the New Year's party Sam and Emily throw each year. We got into a little bit of a food fight and there was so much flour in Quil's hair that he looked like he was going gray. It was hilarious. He actually went outside to shake it out! Of course we had to clean up the mess afterward but I didn't even mind because I had so much fun with Quil.
The New Year's party was pretty fun. I played video games with the kids for a while and also played some poker with the guys. I spent a little time chatting with the other imprints and really had fun except that midnight itself was a little awkward. Everyone paired up except the kids and that left me and Quil standing in the middle of it all not quite sure what to do. I mean, we're not like the other imprinted couples but there's this incredible connection between us that's a little more than friendship. So after the usual countdown to the New Year we kind of stared at each other for a second while everyone else was kissing or yelling and for a split second I thought he might kiss me. Instead he pulled me into a tight hug and whispered that I'm everything to him. Even through my slight disappointment at not being able to erase Kevin's kiss with something infinitely better, my heart raced because I knew he meant every word. And I knew I felt the same, so for right now that is enough.
Then after the normal celebration the guys ran outside for their tradition: a snowball fight. All the pack members, retired and active, ran around like crazy men throwing anything they could get their hands on. I watched with the rest of the women and children and just laughed at the guys, but they seemed to have fun. When they finished everyone said goodnight and kids were bundled into cars to go home.
Quil came over to me and gave me a very cold and soggy hug. I was already chilly from standing out in the winter night air to watch them play but then his hug left me freezing from all the snow melted on his clothes. Quil saw me shiver violently as he followed the Uleys and I back in the house and he started apologizing profusely. He went a grabbed a dry change of clothes out of his car – he says he always keeps a set around just in case he has to phase unexpectedly. Once he was dry and warm and I changed into my warmest pajamas he pulled me to the couch, sat me down sideways across his lap so my right shoulder was crushed to his chest and he wrapped his warm arms around me. I curled up and sank into his heat, resting my head against his shoulder and staring at the darkened window directly in front of me.
He hummed old tribal songs to me with his deep voice and soon I was nodding off, safe and warm in his arms. I fought sleep because I didn't want such a perfect moment to end but I think I did fall asleep. The next thing I knew I was moving and I woke up just enough to realize that Quil was carrying me into my room and laying me down in bed. He pulled my blankets up around me and may have actually tucked me in. I was too busy watching his face, calm and patient and loving, as he took care of me. He left a burning kiss on my cheek, not my forehead like usual, and then silently left my room, pulling the door closed behind him. I sighed and fell back asleep.
. . .
School started again which was kind of bittersweet. It was nice to see all my friends again, but I missed having full days to spend with Quil.
And before I knew it my birthday was here. True to his word Quil didn't plan a party for me, but he didn't stop Emily from planning one which I thought had been implied. Oh well. It wasn't so bad. Emily called Andrea and had her invite our friends and the night of my birthday everyone showed up right after dinner. And I mean everyone. My family arrived first, followed by my friends and finally the pack. The house was beyond full, but it was actually the best party I've had in years so I quickly forgave Quil.
Plus, he gave me a car. Kind of. It's a fixer upper that he's in the process of repairing for me, but it's better than nothing which is what I would have had without him. And he promised to teach me how to drive. Yay – more Quil time!
The weirdest part of the party was watching Andrea and the girls drool over Quil and the guys who are active in the pack right now. Cory and the other boys from school seemed a little intimidated by them at first but soon Todd and Brady were joking around with them and a potential crisis was averted.
I was nervous at first to have everyone together in the same place like that because of what happened with Quil on the Makah Res, but it turned out I had nothing to worry about here. It seems that most everyone in La Push is aware of the pack but has no idea what they do other than the vague description of 'helping the tribal council' and being a sort of local law enforcement. If only people knew what their uniforms looked like! But Andrea and the gang figured out really quickly that they are just regular guys and nothing to be afraid of. That made me breathe much easier. And I couldn't help but laugh along with Quil while Jaime flirted shamelessly with Todd who didn't seem to mind her attention at all. She has no idea he's ten years older than she is.
So for once I had a good birthday. And even though I'm still in driver's ed classes and don't have my permit yet, Quil has taken me out in his car on some dirt roads to practice driving a little. He's actually pretty patient and doesn't freak out over every little thing and I'm learning fast. Plus, when we go out to practice on Saturdays he brings a picnic lunch and we have more time to just hang out.
There are some quiet moments when we are together sometimes that I catch him watching me and I wish I knew what he was thinking. His expression doesn't give anything away but sometimes I can see longing or sadness in his eyes for just a moment. Its times like that I feel an overwhelming need to make sure he is happy, only I don't know how to do that exactly. If I ask or offer to do something for him he just tells me he is fine and more than happy just to spend time with me. But I know there's something missing for him. I sometimes wonder if he wants more out of our relationship but I don't know how to tell him I want that too. Because what if I said that and I was totally wrong? Then he would feel bad for not being able to give me what I want and that would defeat the whole point of trying to make him happy.
Ugh. I'm so confused.
. . .
Quil finished my car two weeks before I finished driver's ed and school got out for summer. The day after classes ended my dad came and took me for my driving test. I passed and got my license! We celebrated by going out to dinner and then he took me home that weekend to spend some time with my own family. I've been trying to make sure I go back once or twice each month ever since Christmas.
Alyssa and I went shopping together and I got some new clothes. She will graduate from high school next week and then will go to the University of Washington in the fall. I need to spend time with her this summer while I can before she moves away too. Its funny, she and I actually get along better now that we don't live together. Not that we fought all that much, but I wasn't the easiest to live with the last few years. She has noticed that I'm much happier and told me to say hi to Quil and our aunt and uncle for her. she promised to come visit in La Push sometime this summer. I'm looking forward to it.
As usual, Quil was waiting at Sam's when I got home Sunday night. We had an agreement that I would always tells him exactly when I would be gone and for how long. He still gets nervous to have me away from La Push and Emily explained that this would help him deal with my absences better. And since he knew when I was coming home he was always waiting. This time I surprised him though because Mom let me drive and she rode in the passenger seat. She was nervous but gave me pointers when necessary and it wasn't too bad.
When Quil saw me in the driver's seat his face split in a big smile. He came around to my door, opened it and hugged me when I got out.
"Look at you: all grown up and driving!" He said as he pulled back and held me at arms length.
And like that my good mood was gone. He was talking to me like a child who just learned to ride the bike or something.
"I'm not a kid anymore, in case you haven't noticed." I snapped and roughly grabbed my duffle from the back seat before storming into the house. I blindly waved off Emily and Tyler as they came up to say hi and went straight to my room. It was rude but I didn't care. I was upset and I didn't want to deal with them right now.
Geez, could Quil really be that blind? I mean, I may not be supermodel material, but I'm not exactly hideous either. I've been filling out the last few years and he had to have noticed that I'm turning into a woman, right? I was wearing a cute new top Alyssa found for me and my hair was down, which I know guys like, and I was driving.
I flopped down on my bed and thought back to the holiday break and all the time we had spent together. And then I realized how childish a lot of it was: sledding, building a snowman, baking cookies. Maybe I was blind and he wasn't treating me any differently than he used to. No wonder he still thought of me as a kid since we were doing all the same stuff we did when I was little. But it had felt so different this time. All the outdoor activities led to cuddling on the couch to warm me up. The food fight – and here I thought I was flirting. I must look so stupid to him.
I groaned out loud and then heard a soft knocking on my door.
I groaned again.
"Honey, what happened?" my mom's quiet voice came through the door.
Crap. She would be leaving in a little while too. I couldn't just stay in here and ignore her. So I got up and opened the door, letting her in and closing it tight again.
I sat on the edge of my bed and she pulled out the chair at my desk.
"What just happened, Claire? You seemed so happy and then we got here. If you aren't happy here. . ."
"No, it's not that mom. Sorry. I just, I just got so mad there for a second. I thought I better come up here before I said something rude to Quil." I told her.
"Yeah, he looked a little shocked when you went straight from hugging him to running off mad. But I still don't understand what upset you so much." Mom said.
"Ugh. I don't know mom." I flopped backward on my bed and covered my eyes with my arm. I felt mom's hand rest softly on my knee.
"I think I have an idea. You like him don't you?" she said knowingly.
I sat up quickly. "Shh. Don't say things like that, he'll hear you!" I hissed.
"He's not here honey. I suggested he go home until you cool off." Mom told me.
I glanced at the window. "But he could still be out there."
"Sam warned him not to stay around. He said to give you a little space and Quil promised to go to his house."
"Thanks." I said, feeling relieved.
"So?" mom prompted me with another soft squeeze to my knee.
"He sees me as a kid still and I'm not." I said.
"And you want him to treat you like a grown up?"
"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want him to talk down to me, you know?"
"I don't think he meant it that way." Mom defended him.
"I know. I know he's proud of me and everything and I'm just overreacting." I mumbled.
"I didn't say that. This time in your life can be really confusing sweetheart and I just want to help you through it any way I can. Don't be afraid to talk to me about things, even if you think they are embarrassing, okay? They might not be as bad as you think. They may even be normal but nobody talks about them so it seems like they aren't."
"Yeah, I'm sure every sixteen year old wants to date their 30 year old best friend who has a supernatural connection to them." The words slipped out without my permission and I instantly wanted them back as I felt my cheeks flame red.
Mom just nodded. "I thought that might be it. Okay, so that's not a problem most girls your age face, but the basics are normal. You like someone and you don't know what to do about it, right?"
I just nodded, too afraid to open my mouth again.
"Well, the good news is that Quil cares about you a great deal."
"But I don't want him to just care about me, I want him to like me. I want him to call me pretty and ask me out like Danny did."
"Who is Danny?"
"A boy at school. He's really nice and cute and he asked me out a week before school got out. I told him I wasn't ready yet, because its not really fair to go out with him when I'd rather be with someone else."
"You told him there was someone else?" mom clarified.
"No. I lied and told him I couldn't date until my junior year. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I can't tell him the truth. That would cause all sorts of problems like the ones I left back home. Even if I could somehow get Quil to date me, I'm still too young and he would get in trouble. So thats never gonna happen, and he doesn't even see me that way anyway, so it's all pointless right?"
Mom took that in for a moment and thought how to answer me. I decided to spare her a little.
"So what do most girls do when they get a crush?" I asked.
"I guess they either go after him or they watch him from a distance and eventually move on." Mom said.
"We both know I can't be with Quil, so I'll have to do the other one." I said glumly.
"Claire, you don't have to decide anything right now. I know this may sound weird coming from your mom, but I'm really glad you are interested in Quil. He is a good guy and he will always treat you right. It's just not the right time for you two yet, so don't write him off."
"Yeah. it's just hard to wait, you know? And what if he doesn't ever like me that way?"
"Let's wait and see on that, okay?" Mom suggested.
I nodded and bit my lip as another thought came to me. "Mom? I know you and Quil are friends, but you won't tell him about this, will you? Or anyone else?"
"This is just between us." She reassured me.
"Thanks."
"No problem. Now will you come downstairs again until I go?"
I nodded.
"And at least call Quil tonight so he won't stress. That boy has been tortured enough."
I hesitated.
"You don't have to tell him why you were mad. Blame me for something if you need to. But don't punish him because this is a difficult situation. He does care about you, you know."
"Okay mom."
She stood up and I followed her downstairs. Emily was watching for us and she looked worried. Mom just gave her a look with a little shake of the head and Emily pasted on a smile and acted like nothing had happened. I really need to learn how to communicate wordlessly like that. It could be useful someday.
I called Quil a little while after dinner once mom left. He answered the phone after the first ring.
"Claire?" he sounded breathless and panicky.
"Yeah, it's me."
I heard him take a deep breath in relief. "Is everything okay?" he asked softly.
"I'm okay now. Sorry about earlier. I just had to work something out with mom."
"Oh. I thought you were mad at me for some reason and I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could have done wrong." Quil said.
"No, it wasn't you. I just had a problem but everything is okay. Sorry I worried you."
"Don't ever be sorry, Claire. I can't help worrying about you."
We were silent for a moment. I didn't know what to say.
"I love you Claire." Quil said quietly.
"Love you too, Quil."
It was true. I did love him. I just wished he meant it the same way I did.