A/N: Thank you to Katmom, Tianmayblack, Kanga, Hollywoodab, CrazyMuggleborn44, daydreamer357, and Tylah-Jane who reviewed – you guys rock!
Quil POV
I knew when Brady died because Edward's face crumpled and he looked like he was in pain. He turned his golden eyes on Jake and I in sympathy.
"I'm so sorry." He said.
Then we heard the crying from behind Brady's closed door. Pain washed over us and Claire clutched at my shirt as she began to cry as well. Grief overwhelmed me and for the first and only time I pushed Claire away. I squeezed her tight first and apologized as I pulled away.
"I'm sorry. I can't. . . I have to go." I said.
Jake was making a similar retreat. He followed me as I rushed out the back door and phased mid-step. An ear-shattering howl burst from me at the loss of our brother. Jake's howl was in harmony with my own. We didn't share thoughts but ran together through the forest and to a cliff's edge overlooking the sea. The wind carried our howls of mourning through the dark night.
. . .
Claire POV
I was surprised and hurt when Quil ran off after Brady died. I just wanted to hold onto him as I cried for my friend and his brother. My tears stung bitterly as they coursed down my cheeks.
"Don't be angry. It's how they need to cope." Edward told Nessie and I softly as we stared at each other in the absence of our wolves.
I often get headaches when I cry, so I wasn't surprised when my head began pounding with the combination of Brady's death and Quil's departure. I pressed my hands to my eyes as the familiar pain seared behind my eyes. I heard voices talking around me and tried to focus on them: Carlisle spoke on his phone with Sam, Edward whispered to Nessie.
Then I felt a soft hand cradling my cheek. I opened my eyes enough to squint at Nessie. She smiled sadly before projecting images of the last few months with Quil and Brady. It was like a montage of moments that I could feel represented what they had been doing while they were away. I saw the houses they stayed in, the places they traveled, the easy friendship Jake shared with his pack. I saw them practice fighting with her uncles, then they were passed out and snoring on beds and couches. I almost wanted to laugh. Nessie focused on Quil for a minute, showing how he looked before, during and after phone calls with me; how he had grown steadily sadder, and finally how he hadn't noticed an injury while wrestling with Jake in human form. This made me sad. Then she showed me how excited Brady was when they got the call that the fight was going to happen. She showed me their resolve before the fight and how focused they had been – ready, willing and able to do their job. She showed me how wolf-Quil had stayed beside his brother after the fight, refusing much more than food and sleep until they landed here.
And I knew what she wanted me to see – their brotherhood and connection. How I was grieving for a man I had grown up with, someone I had known all my life, but Quil was grieving so much more. This was his brother, his pack-mate, and a man who would give his life for his brothers and tribe just as they would do for him. Their bond was barely less than my bond with Quil. I know I would be destroyed if Quil died and he was feeling a pain similar to that.
"Thank you Nessie." I gently pulled her hand from my face and squeezed her fingers. "I've missed Quil so much."
"He missed you. I'm sorry we took him away for so long." She said.
"It wasn't your fault." I reassured her and we shared sad smiles. "I am just glad he is home now."
Edward came over to us then. "We need to be going now, Nessie. Claire, we will drop you off at home on our way. Quil will know to find you there when he is ready."
"Thank you." I said, and followed them out to the remaining van.
. . .
In the morning I woke up with a slight headache and a lump in my chest when I remembered what happened the night before. Still in my pajamas, I went down to the kitchen to eat something. Emily and the kids were there already, quietly eating pancakes. Emily came to me with red eyes and hugged me tightly. A sob caught in my throat as I was enveloped in her motherly embrace.
"I know, Claire." She murmured and hugged me tighter. "Edward told Sam that he was at peace when he went. He died a true Quileute warrior."
I nodded mutely into her shoulder and she released me.
"Eat something and he will be down in a minute." She instructed, pointed to two empty seats next to Alex.
"What?" I asked in confusion.
"He looked terrible." Kara said while her twin nodded.
"He and Jake were running all night and he was a mess." Alex added around a mouthful of food.
"Stinky." Was Tyler's contribution.
"Sam got him into the shower and will have to lend him some clothes. I just hope he will eat a little before he passes out. Seeing you should help." Emily said.
"Quil is here?" I asked.
"More or less." Sam said as he walked into the room looking rather haggard himself. He shook his head as he sat down and filled a plate. "Brady is the first one of us to die. We all feel it."
For a minute it was hard to focus on my family and the food. Quil was upstairs in the shower. Inappropriate thoughts flooded my mind and for the first time in months I thought about Quil in a romantic light. I've pushed away similar thoughts for so long because it was part of a distant future that seemed even more remote for the last few months. But now he was home again: he was here and in just over four months I would be eighteen. He wouldn't be off-limits anymore.
I heard some snickering to my left and I realized I was blushing. I elbowed Alex and busied myself with my breakfast.
"I called and got you excused for your first day of school." Sam said. "With everything that's happened over the last two days I didn't think you would be able to focus on school today. Tomorrow will be the funeral but after that you will have to go. It's your senior year, after all, and you are going to graduate."
"Of course. Thanks for getting me out though." I said and kept eating.
I was almost finished when Quil slowly came down the stairs to join us. He didn't say anything but came straight to me and sat down. He picked up my hand and kissed it before leaning his head onto my shoulder. He took a long slow deep breath. I felt his arm slip around my back and he slid from his chair onto his knees and hugged me, keeping his face buried in my hair. His shoulders shook as he cried and I turned my body slightly to return his hug better. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tight. I felt his hands clutch at my waist, grabbing onto the bottom of my pajama top.
Sam and Emily shooed the kids out of the room since they were done eating anyway and left us some privacy.
With one hand I rubbed Quil's back to soothe him. "Shh. It's going to be okay. I know it hurts."
"I'm so sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have left you last night, but I just couldn't stay human. I can't explain it. I just felt too much." Quil said.
"Don't apologize. I understand. It's okay." I tried to reassure him. "I'm sorry too. Brady was a good man."
Quil nodded against my shoulder. "He was. I'm sorry he's gone, but I'm relieved too. I'm glad I wasn't taken away before we really had a chance. And then I feel guilty, like it should have been me instead of him. He was still so young."
"No! Don't talk like that. You can't go anywhere for a very long time." I insisted. "You still owe me a Valentine's date."
"Future plans. I have a future. That's what he told me. He even showed me our kids. He didn't have any plans, any future. I am so lucky to have you Claire."
"I'm lucky to have you." I said back and held him tighter. And I felt that way too. I was so lucky he wasn't injured worse, or killed. There weren't words to tell him how happy I was that he was home safe and here in my arms this moment.
So I didn't say anything. I just held him and told him I loved him while he worked through his grief. I closed my eyes and focused on the feel of his strong warm body pressed against mine, noticing how our breathing naturally found the same rhythm.
If anyone came into or left the house I wasn't aware. I just knew Quil was here and he was mine. That's all that matters.
. . .
Quil went home late that night to sleep in his own bed again. We had spent the whole day together just talking. I admitted to having headaches again and he told me about the slow loss of feeling. We agreed that neither of us ever wants to have to experience those things again. He told me all about living with the Cullens and the places they saw that he would like to show me one day if we ever have money to travel. It was the best day I've had in months.
In the morning I helped Emily get the kids all ready for the funeral. Sam was quiet and really only responded to Emily. We all made our way to the burial grounds where the Tribal Elders presided over the funeral. Quil was waiting for me there and came to my side the moment we arrived. All of the pack members shared memories about Brady and gave their respects to Linda and Christina. Brady was given the honor due a warrior who served the tribe. We all cried together and reminisced about our friend before departing. Quil and I walked back to the Uley house hand in hand, speaking occasionally.
We were together the rest of the day until Emily chased him away so I could rest before school the next day. After he left I found myself sitting in the quiet kitchen with Emily while we drank some hot chocolate together. It was something that warmed and calmed me nicely before bed.
"So you and Quil seem . . . close." Emily said, watching me carefully.
"I missed him."
"It's more than that. The kiss before he left, that wasn't only about him leaving, was it?" she guessed.
"No. I'm ready for the next step. It's going to be hard to wait until my birthday to actually date him. Is it weird that I feel so strongly? I mean, it didn't take you and Sam long to get serious." I said.
"We had a different situation than you and Quil, but no, it's not weird. I'm not surprised you are attracted to him."
"Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but it's hard watching him leave at night." I told my mug. When I dared to glance up at Emily she just smiled softly.
"It's perfectly normal to feel that way. And one day, when you live together you won't have to say goodbye at night. And it's a wonderful thing. Just make sure you are ready before you take that kind of step." Emily advised.
"I will." I nodded and sipped my hot chocolate.
. . .
Quil POV
I hate school. Not because I have to go anymore, but because Claire does and it cuts into the time I can spend with her. I went back to work to fill my time and my wallet. I confess though, that I spend the whole time counting down until I am off and can go to Claire's house. She's great though and does her best to get her homework done as fast as possible so we can have plenty of time together.
Being away from her again this summer brought everything into sharp focus for me. I love her and would spend every waking moment with her if I could. The image Brady sent me of Claire and I at my house with our own family is always at the back of my mind. I want that so bad. Then I remember that we haven't even been on a real date yet and I could pull my hair out. How long will I have to wait for that future?
Not that I mind waiting if I can spend a lot of time with Claire. I know, I know, I sound like a broken record. But she really is it for me.
Okay, time to go pretend you have a life, Ateara.
. . .
Jake and the Cullens spent a month in Seattle after we came back from Argentina. Nessie fell in love with Brittney, Todd's imprint, just like Claire did. It's really nice to see them all together and Brittney's family is getting more used to us all. It is great seeing Todd get all dopey and gooey-eyed like the rest of us for a change. Now Embry is the only wolf left without an imprint. He feels it too and I honestly hope his dream girl shows up soon.
It was a blast having Jake around again though and we probably had more rained out pack get-togethers in houses all over the Res than we've had any other fall. Then October hit and the Cullens moved off to their next new adventure in Africa. Jake promised to tell me if he gets to take on a lion. Before he left he made me promise to make one or two investments Alice tipped him off on so I can take better care of Claire in the future.
The cold weather brought bigger school projects for Claire and of course led up to the holidays. She took me home for Thanksgiving and I didn't mind sleeping on the couch for three nights because I was in the same house as Claire and could hear her heartbeat at night. Her family came out to La Push for Christmas again and we had a great time. I got myself through Christmas and New Years without kissing Claire by counting down toward her birthday.
For example: on Christmas Eve I was hanging out at the Uleys with them, Claire, Devon and their parents. We had a great dinner, made by some of my favorite women in the world, then we hung out singing all the Christmas carols we could think of and playing board games. It was pretty fun. Then things wound down, the little kids went to bed and all the old people (this doesn't include me by the way) decided they were tired and went up to bed as well. Alex conveniently lured Devon away to play a video game in his room and Claire and I were left alone, cuddled up on the couch in front of the lit up Christmas tree with the rest of the lights off.
I mean, come on! I don't exactly need someone to spell out to me how romantic that kind of thing is to Claire. And boy, did I want to make it perfect and seal the deal with a kiss. But I was a good boy and settled for cuddling with my arm wrapped around her shoulders and chanting to myself: 24 days. 24 days. Just 24 days. That's all. I can wait 24 days. That's less than a month, right? It's so close. And she looks so good tonight. I remember how soft her lips are. Her skin glows in the soft lighting from the tree. No one is going to come back in here. Man, my imprint is gorgeous! If I just lean a little to the right. . . 24 days! 24 days.
24 days.
I don't even want to think about New Years. Embry and Todd caught onto my counting game while on patrol though and I asked them to intervene if I looked like I was going to get myself in trouble. I should not have asked for their help. They turned it into some messed up game of keep away and wouldn't let me within five feet of Claire all night. She knew something was up but every time I tried to talk to her someone came up and interrupted and pulled one of us away with some nonsense about 'you have to see what so-and-so did with twine, dominoes, and a turkey leg'. Again: don't ask.
And that's how I fumbled my way through December and somehow made it to January. Just in time for Emily to start giving me the evil eye and asking awkward questions.
"So, Claire's birthday is coming up. Do you have any special plans?" she cornered me on January first.
"I wrapped Claire's present this morning after she left for school. Would you like me to wrap yours too?" she asked on the fourth.
"I was thinking about food for Claire's party. . ." was how she began a crazy long monologue about the benefits of buffet style vs. formal sit-down dinners for large groups of people on the 9th.
My count-down was bad enough without her help. And of course I had a present for Claire! I've been waiting sixteen years for this day – how could I not be prepared? All Emily did was make me more nervous. Claire is amazing and she deserves the best of everything. So I started thinking about how she could do better than me. She could go off to college, find a great career and marry a doctor or some rich philanthropist or something and make a life for herself. What do I have to offer her really? I'm devoted to her for life and I will love her with everything that I am, but will that be enough? I don't have anything else to give her. And life on the reservation is pretty simple. Will she be happy being stuck here with me?
All of Emily's questions, well meant as they might be, only made me doubt myself more each day as I continued to count down to what could be the beginning of my future life with Claire. And I felt miserable about it. I did my best to hide this from everyone, even my pack-mates, but Embry noticed that something was wrong.
A week before Claire's birthday he popped into my head while I patrolled in the snowy forest.
How's it going brother? Embry asked.
Okay, I guess. Is something wrong? I don't smell anything. I thought we were patrolling alone these days.
I just wanted to talk to you and this way I'm not keeping you away from Claire or anything else. He said.
Alright. What do you need to talk about? I asked, starting to feel nervous. I wasn't going to get a lecture was I?
No. I don't need to say anything about your relationship with Claire. I'm not about to set any rules about that. He hesitated a moment as we ran silently through the snow. You know I respect how you've always handled that situation, right? I mean, I know it hasn't been easy for you to wait so long for her to grow up and I'm glad you can finally be together soon.
Thanks.
I just wanted to make sure you are okay. You seem a little down, and I guess, I'm here if you need to talk. Embry offered.
Huh? I had no idea what to say to him.
Well, is anything bothering you? I don't mean to be all touchy-feely or anything, but I can listen if you need to get anything off your chest.
You've been watching those daytime talk shows again, haven't you? I teased. You really need to get a girlfriend.
Fine! He huffed. Don't say I never tried to do something nice for you. Embry started to turn away, no longer running beside me.
I'm sorry. Wait. I came to stop and sat on the ground. You're right. I'm worried about Claire.
What's wrong with her?
Nothing. It's me. I'm not good enough for her. She deserves more. It was the first time I had admitted this out loud. Well, almost out loud anyway.
Maybe, but she wants you.
Which makes me the luckiest man alive. I just don't want her to miss out on something better. I said.
Do you love her? Embry asked, looking me in the eye.
Yes.
Does she love you?
Yes.
Then stop worrying. Embry concluded. Seriously think about this: will anyone ever take better care of her than you will?
No.
There you go. Stop worrying and just enjoy this. You have a beautiful girl who loves you. In a few days you can start dating her and before you know it you'll be married with a few kids filling up the house. Just pray that they look like Claire and not you. . .
Shut up. I pushed him with my shoulder and he hopped to the side, trotting in a little circle back to me.
Really. It's all okay. You're lucky, you know. And I felt his pain at still being alone.
It'll happen for you too. I assured him.
Sure, sure. Embry started to walk again and I joined him. Then he asked suddenly with a wolfish grin, So, how many days?
Seven. I replied without even thinking.
Embry just laughed at me.
. . .
Claire's birthday fell on a Friday. She had school and I kept myself busy at work. When I finally got off at five I hurried home and showered, taking extra care to get all the grease and grime off my hands. I wore a new pair of jeans Claire had picked out for me and a black button-up shirt. I wanted to make a good impression tonight so I actually took a minute to check myself in the mirror and make sure I looked decent. Then I grabbed my keys and Claire's gift from my dresser and drove over to the Uley's house for the party.
A few days ago I offered to help Emily set everything up for the party but she shooed me away saying she would handle it. When I drove up to the house there were already several cars in the driveway. I went inside and saw that everyone else was already there. I got there exactly at 6:30 just like Emily told me to! I said hi to Mark, Sally and Devon. Then I chatted for a few minutes with the guys and their families. Todd even brought Brittney and she looked really excited. She and Claire had gotten really close and their friendship was really sweet. Oh man, I am whipped. I just thought something was sweet.
I saw Sam in the kitchen with Emily. She gave me a huge smile and Sam just winked. What the heck? Well, I guess I should be grateful he isn't ready to rip me apart since he knows I plan on dating Claire after today.
Speaking of Claire, she was the only person missing. Emily came over to me as I glanced at the stairs, wondering if she was still upstairs.
"She's putting on a new outfit I gave her this afternoon. I cheated and gave her my present early. I just couldn't wait." Emily said.
"Okay. Will she be down soon?" I asked anxiously.
"I think so." Emily still had a smile plastered to her face. I know she likes parties and all, but this was a bit much, even for her.
The sounds around me changed and I turned to see what was going on. Claire came down the stairs in a new pair of jeans and silky black top that accentuated her curves just right. Oh man. How did Emily expect me to last the night without grabbing Claire and making a run for a quiet secluded place where I could have her all to myself?
Claire smiled at everyone but came straight toward me. I hugged her tight. "You look amazing." I murmured into her ear as she gave me an extra squeeze.
"You too." She said and she pulled back.
"Oh, they match!" Brittney oohed. The rest of the crowd laughed and I was reminded that I had to share this goddess with everyone else.
A flash pulled my attention from Claire and I saw that Sally had taken our picture. Her eyes were a little misty as she looked at us. She stepped closer and hugged Claire.
"You look so beautiful. I can't believe how grown up you are." Sally said to her.
"Thanks mom."
"The cake is ready!" Emily announced. "Let's have the birthday girl come over and blow out the candles so we can get to the presents."
"We aren't having dinner?" Claire asked. "You wouldn't let me eat anything earlier and I'm starving."
"Don't worry. Just come over here." Emily guided her over to the counter and nicely decorated cake with her name on it. "This is a big day. You have two families who love you so much, as well as the pack and all the friends you've made. We are so proud of you and the woman you've become." She started to get teary and Sam placed a hand on her shoulder for support.
"Thanks Emily." Claire hugged her again.
"Let's set this thing on fire." Alex said a little too eagerly. I swear he's a closet pyromaniac.
Claire grabbed my hand and pulled me over beside her while Sam lit the candles on the cake. We all sang and Claire blew out the candles easily. Everyone cheered and then we moved to the couches to have Claire open her presents while Kim and Rachel cut the cake and put it on little paper plates. Claire smiled and thanked everyone as she opened some gifts cards and home-made trinkets from the kids.
I was expecting more to be handed to her when everyone seemed to look at me. Claire watched me expectantly. I held out the square box in my hand and she took it with a shy smile. I watched her slender fingers pull off the ribbon and silver wrapping paper. She opened the lid and pulled aside some tissue paper to reveal the gift.
"It's an antique silver sugar bowl." I wanted to explain. "Today is really special because I've known you for sixteen years and I was having a hard time finding the right gift. I ended up on a website about anniversaries and for the sixteenth it said the traditional gift was silver stuff for the table, like creamers or pitchers or whatever but then I found this and thought maybe you could use it as a jewelry box or something since you don't need it for a table or anything. . ." and I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. The gift I thought had been adequate seemed totally stupid and I was sure she would hate it.
I reluctantly looked up, afraid of what I would see. Claire was holding the silver bowl and smiling. "It's beautiful." She turned it and looked at the flower design that ringed the bowl and she heard a small thunk. She opened the lid and found the tiny green teardrop earrings I placed inside. She gasped and lifted them out to look closer. "Oh Quil."
"They are peridot – it's the gem for the sixteenth anniversary." I told her.
"Wow." Devon said from behind Claire. I finally looked up beyond her and saw that everyone else was watching us, speechless. Several people had their mouths open in shock or something and I suddenly felt embarrassed.
Claire threw herself toward me and hugged my tightly around my neck. "I love them, thank you so much."
I finally relaxed now that I knew I hadn't messed up her most important birthday to date.
"Now it's time for the last present." Mark spoke up. We all looked to him and he beckoned for Claire to join him. She stood up beside him and he put an arm around her. "Claire, this is a special day for a lot of reasons. So it requires a very special, different kind of gift. Quil," he turned to me and pulled me to my feet. He clapped something thick and papery into my hand with a smile. "Just follow the directions and don't be afraid to spend whatever she wants. Have fun."
"What?" I looked down at my hand to see a wad of bills folded into a sheet of paper.
"What is it?" Claire asked.
"Your first date." Sally said. "We gave you a little help by planning it out though. I hope we did a good job."
"Are you serious?" I could hear the excitement in Claire's voice.
"Well, it was either that or watch you two stare longingly at each other all night." Paul drawled. "We'll save you some cake."
"Go on." Kim urged. "Claire is hungry."
I looked at Claire. There were no words. And honestly, I don't think anyone expected us to know what to say. So I grabbed Claire's hand and started for the door. "Thanks guys!" I helped her put on her coat and practically ran out to my car while everyone inside laughed.
. . .
Claire POV
I was so happy. This had to be my best birthday yet. Not only did Quil give me a beautiful and thoughtful gift, but then everyone we know and love sent us out on our first date. Quil practically dragged me out to his car once he was told what was going on and I followed happily. He started the car and then looked at our instructions, still clutched in his hand.
"What does it say?" I asked.
"It just says 'feed her, doofus'." He said. "Okay then. What do you want eat? You can have anything."
I had to think for a moment. "I don't want to wait for the drive to Port Angeles, so let's go to the diner in Forks."
"Are you sure? It's not very fancy or anything." Quil looked concerned.
"I'm starving Quil. Take me to the diner."
"Whatever you want." He put the car in drive and we were off.
I was so excited that I couldn't hold still. Quil noticed my jiggling knee and grinned at me. "Are you nervous?" he asked.
"No; just excited." I answered and he chuckled.
"Me too." He slipped the instructions into his pocket and reached out for my hand. I felt better with his burning hand wrapped around mine.
"So, you had no idea they were planning this?" I asked.
"None. I planned on asking you out before I left for the night, so I had no idea we would get our first date tonight."
"Really? You were going to ask me on a date?" I was excited and relieved to know he wanted the same things I did.
"Of course! I haven't waited this long to sit around wasting time." He said.
We drove in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Quil shook his head and chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"They probably knew I would over think things and stress about what to do on our first date, so they decided to take the pressure off of planning it."
"Would dating me be stressful?" I asked.
"No. It's not because of you, or at least, not because you are hard to be around. I've just been waiting so long for this, I would have tried too hard to make sure it was perfect. But it turns out this is perfect, because I am always happy spending time with you no matter what we do." Quil smiled and lifted my hand in his to kiss it.
Okay, if I liked the attention Quil gave me before, then this was heaven. His touches were soft and natural and I was so grateful there was no awkwardness between the two of us. He wouldn't have been the only one stressing if there had been time to wait and wonder how this date would go. He was right: being shoved into it like we were was the best thing because being together was perfect for us.
We arrived at the diner and ate a nice meal. Quil only mentioned once that he would have done something fancier with more notice and I assured him that I was fine. I ate my favorite dish and we shared some chocolate silk pie for dessert. Quil made sure I had as much as I wanted before he finished it off. While we were waiting for dessert I saw him steal a glance at our instructions and count the money. I didn't mind though, because this was an adventure for both of us and he needed to know what he was dealing with.
We left the diner and got back in the car. Quil started driving through the cold winter night and I asked where we were going next. He just grinned at me and held my hand again. At the far end of town we drove into a neighborhood clear down to the last house on the street. There were several cars parked on a grassy strip just past the house and I could see lights through a thin stand of trees. Quil parked next to the other cars and got out. He opened my door and I got out, pulling my coat and scarf tight around my body against the cold. I pulled my gloves out of the coat pockets and slipped them on as well.
Straight ahead was a small shack where a man sat in front of a space heater. I could hear the hum of a generator behind him. In the distance I heard voices and laughter. I gave a questioning look to Quil who just shrugged and smiled. The man greeted us and Quil paid him to let us in. He gave us a few instructions about being careful not to slip on the walkway and not to climb or break anything. A group of five people walked out past us, all smiling. I was beyond curious now about what lay inside the trees.
Quil took a paper the man handed him and we set off down a short path of crushed ice lined with footlights. I slipped my arm through Quil's so I wouldn't fall on the slippery surface. Up ahead the light grew brighter and we broke through the trees into an icy wonderland. The path led between two towers of what looked like frozen waterfalls, the cascades caught in a moment in time and preserved. I stopped just inside this portal and gasped at the sight before me. There was a large ring of these ice waterfalls in a clearing, all backlit and glowing white and blue. In the center of this ring was a thirty foot tall castle, complete with a grand entrance directly ahead of us which disappearing into the glowing blue depths of ice.
"What is this?" I asked breathlessly.
"Ice castles." Quil answered and held up the paper the man gave him. I took it and read the brief description about the man who made them. It was apparently a hobby of his every winter and he traveled to different communities every year. This time he was visiting a distant cousin who owned this property.
"Wow." Was all I could say. We spent the next hour wandering around admiring the unique structures and the natural colors that glowed within them. There was a tunnel inside the central castle that split in two directions, giving different views of the inside of that colossal ice structure and we explored each path several times. We also took time on the outside, commenting on how different each of the smaller towers were which created this amazing little ice world. I just kept saying 'wow' because no other words came to me. But it was spectacular.
Finally Quil noticed that I was starting to shiver and he insisted that we go. I required that we make one last quick trek through the castle on our way out and we did so. Then Quil got me in the car and started up the heater full force as quickly as he could.
"Come here." He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled my close to him inside the parked car while the engine slowly warmed up. He pulled my gloves off, clasping my hands inside his own to warm them and I pressed my cold face against the warm skin of his neck.
"You are so lucky you don't get cold." I said.
"It comes in handy sometimes." He said with a chuckle. "I really don't mind it in moments like this. It gives me an excuse to hold you close."
"You don't need an excuse, you know." I told him.
Quil pulled back just a little so he could look my in the eye. "That's good to know." He said quietly and leaned closer. My heart sped up as his lips met mine and he kissed me.
It was so nice to kiss him freely, not worrying about getting caught or in trouble because someone didn't approve. We had no reason to stop now and I was so glad. Being close to Quil was where I belonged and we had waited far too long for this.
After a few minutes of kissing Quil I was thoroughly and happily warmed up. We laughed when we saw that all the lights were turning off in the ice castles and the man was closing up his little shack. I guess we had been here longer than I thought! I just grinned stupidly at Quil who returned my huge smile. He looked the most relaxed and happy I had seen him since he left for Costa Rica.
"So, is there anything else on the list?" I asked.
He pulled the now crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. "Tell me how I did." He said.
I looked at the short list which was clearly written by several people all together, complete with notes:
Feed her, Doofus – and don't eat all of her food! Make sure she gets dessert. Girls like that. And don't eat it all.
Pay for dinner – that's what part of the money is for. We're trusting you.
Take her to see the ice castles. Trust us. Keep her warm – but not too warm. (followed by written directions and a poorly sketched map in the margin)
Have a little fun, but not too much. And give her a respectable kiss good night.
I recognized Emily and Sam's handwriting gave the most direction with a few notes added by others. I just had to laugh.
"They should give you more credit. But they did plan a nice date."
"So, do you think they'll approve? Will Sam let me take you out again?" Quil furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. "Maybe we shouldn't mention warming you up just now." There was a twinkle in his eye that made me giggle.
"It doesn't matter if they approve. I'm eighteen now."
"Good point." Quil nodded in approval. Then he leaned in for one more kiss. "I ought to get you home though. Emily will want to hear all about the date."
"You know my aunt well. My mom may still be there too. Yeah, let's go and get this over with. I want to get some sleep tonight."
Quil started the car and we drove home holding hands. I was so happy as I leaned back in my seat and watched my boyfriend drive us home. Wait.
"Quil, are you my boyfriend now?" I asked.
"That depends – do you want me to be?"
"Yes."
Quil's smile got impossibly bigger. "Good."
And it was that simple. We were finally an actual, legitimate couple.
When we got back to my house Quil got out and walked me to the door. He pulled me close for a hug and whispered in my ear. "No one knows I've already done the last item on the list." He pulled back with a smirk.
"I don't know what you're talking about." I teased and rose up on my tiptoes to get closer to him. He leaned down, closing the distance and kissed me softly, sweetly. It was the perfect end to our first date.
As predicted, Emily and my mom were waiting up for us. Sam was even lurking in the kitchen trying to look like he wasn't listening. I quickly gave them a summary of the date, assuring them that Quil was a gentleman and didn't eat all of my food. I told them the ice castles were spectacular and asked who had known about them. Emily told me it was Kim's suggestion because she and Jared had found them by accident a week ago.
After half an hour I gave a big yawn and told them I was tired. Mom hugged me extra tight and then joined dad in the twins room where they were staying for the night. The girls were already sleeping on the floor in my room so I was quiet when I went up to bed.
. . .
Quil POV
I feel like I am my physical age for the first time in years. I can't remember the last time I was this completely happy. Claire and I have been dating for three months now and I've been able to take her out every single weekend. No one lectures me or makes comments about our ages or anything. I have a girlfriend! Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm totally whipped and all that. The guys still tease me, but at least now I can ignore it easily. And I can think about kissing Claire. Yeah, that shuts them up pretty quick. Ha.
Dating her is easier than I ever imagined. It's because being with her is where I'm meant to be. It's just right. So whether we do something fancy like we did for Valentine's day, or something simple like the rest of the time, we have a great time. We talk about anything and everything and generally hang out and somehow I'm falling even more in love with her.
That's why I'm keeping one secret from her. Only the active pack knows about it too simply because it's hard not to think about it and they are even helping me out. I am fixing up my house to make it more presentable and comfortable for Claire. I haven't had her over in three weeks so it will be a surprise. It's not that weird really, since she never spent much time alone with me there before and now Sam gets nervous if we mention going there alone. He should calm down. I'm not going to push Claire for a physical relationship. When she's ready for something more than kissing, she will let me know. Not that I'm complaining, because frankly, I love kissing her.
So I've been cleaning my house like crazy when I'm not at work, with Claire or on patrol. And I have to say, it's coming along nicely. I got my mom's advice on decorating a little nicer so it's not just a blank bachelor pad anymore. The front room is all done and I am working on the kitchen now. I've had a lot of cleaning to do in there, but it will be worth it. Next is my room. That's going to be the biggest project, but I want it nice when Claire finally sees it. Plus, when things get serious between the two of us, I don't want her to have to clean my place up so it's good enough for her to live in.
Yes, I'm thinking about marriage but I can't help it. I know I need to wait a little while. I mean, we've only been dating a few months and she is still very young. She still has to graduate from high school! But after that, who knows? I don't have a timeline in mind, I'm just going to go with it and see how things progress. But I sure am enjoying dating her in the mean time.
. . .
About a month before graduation Claire and Emily told us that they decided to run a daycare out of the Uley house starting after graduation. They both love kids and most of the pack children spend a considerable time at their house anyway, so they are turning it into a business. They admitted that they've been researching it for a few months and have everything in line to get the business going including the approval of the tribal council.
It seems that I am not the only one keeping secrets.
I can't really be mad though. Especially when I saw how excited Claire was about this surprise. They made their announcement during dinner that night and I waited until we were finished to do anything. I exchanged a curious look with Sam and pulled Claire out onto the porch to talk privately.
"So, a daycare, huh?" I asked.
"I know you are surprised, but is it a good surprise or a bad one?" she asked, biting her lip.
"It's good, as long as you are happy. We haven't talked about it much, but what about college? I don't want you to feel like you are stuck here because of me." I told her.
"Oh Quil," she squeezed the hand she was holding, "I don't really care about college. I mean, I've never really been able to picture myself going away and doing that like my sister Alyssa." She shrugged. "Besides, I don't like being away from you for obvious reasons. You don't want me to go, do you?"
"Of course not. Well, I don't want you going away from me, that is. But if you wanted to keep going to school you know that I would support you."
She smiled. "Thank you. But the only support I want from you right now is for this daycare. I think it will be great. Everyone in the community loves Emily and we can help out some working parents this way. The only drawback will be that for the first time ever we'll have to be careful when it comes to talking about the pack in the Uley house."
We both laughed about that for a minute. I took my hand out of Claire's and slipped my arm around her shoulder as we watched a spring storm from the protection of the porch.
"I'm proud of you, you know. Graduation is next month and you already know what you are going to do this summer." I said.
"Thanks. I want to make you proud. I want to be someone you are proud to be with." She said, a little quieter now.
"I'll be proud to be with you no matter what you do. You have nothing to worry about." I assured her. She settled more deeply into my side and leaned her head against my shoulder. "I love you, Claire. Nothing is going to change that."
"I love you too." She answered, turning her face up toward mine. I took advantage of her position and stole a kiss. She smiled and kissed me again.
. . .
Claire graduated from high school and we threw her a party. She was happy and had a good time. The following Monday the daycare opened. Word spread quickly around the Res and they already had people calling them and bringing their kids over. Claire was thrilled and so was I.
A few weeks later it was my birthday. Emily insisted on making my favorite dinner and having the pack over for cake, but all I really wanted was time with Claire. And once more, my imprint completely surprised me. That woman is amazing.
After the cake and jokes about my age, Claire and I were finally able to get away. I drove us across the Res and down an old dirt road. We hiked the last little way to some cliffs and stood together on the rocks, watching the sun set over the ocean. This was what I wanted for my birthday: me and Claire, just spending time together.
Then she did me one better.
Claire gave me a gift back at the house with everyone else. She got me a new stereo for my car which was exactly what I wanted. So I wasn't expecting anything while we stood holding each other on top of the cliffs.
"Tell me something, Quil." She said out of the blue.
"Hmm?"
"How long do you want to date me?"
"What?" that threw me for a loop. "I don't know, I mean, I'm not going to break up with you or anything." I said.
"I know that. But we've been dating for six months, and I've loved every moment of it. I guess what I want to know is how long you plan on keeping things like this? Another six months? A year?" she asked.
Where was this coming from? Was she insecure about us? How did that happen? I started to panic a little.
"Claire, I love you. I'm not going anywhere. You know I will spend all the time I possibly can with you. As long as you don't get sick of me." I said in an effort to make things right again.
"I love you, too. But I want more than this." She said.
A lead weight sunk in my chest. "Is it college? Or do I need to do something, like, I don't know, buy you flowers or gifts? I don't understand."
"No, Quil. I just want you. More you." she said, turning to face me.
I swallowed hard. Wow. She sure was blunt. I just had to make sure she meant what I thought she was saying.
"Okay." I said, praying my brain would come up with the right words, the correct thing to say right now. Claire saved me by continuing her train of thought.
"You have spent my entire lifetime patiently waiting. You've been supportive and given me everything I asked for, even when it hurt us both. I never could have found a best friend or a boyfriend as good as you on my own. But we can have more than this, if you want. It's time for you to be selfish, Quil. Tell me what you want for us, for our future. I need to hear it from you."
I shook my head, trying to catch up to this very serious conversation. "Claire, I. . . I just want you to be happy. Whatever you want I will do my best to give you."
"Stop it. I know that already." Claire huffed. "Now I want to know what you want, what you really want more than anything else in this world. Just tell me." She urged.
She needed something now and I wanted more than anything to say what she wanted. But that was the point wasn't it? She didn't want me to say what she wanted; she wanted me to say what I wanted. So I did.
"You. I just want you."
Claire looked pleased. "Tell me more."
"I don't know where to start." I said.
"Anywhere. Tell me what you dream of. Tell me the thoughts you've never shared with anyone else."
"I want you: all of you, every day, beside me." I said in a rush. "I want you to be my wife, I want to go to sleep and wake up to you. I want to be the father of your children, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy in every way."
I finally allowed myself a deep breath, exhilarated and completely freaked out by everything I had just admitted out loud for the first time. Claire and I just stared at each other and she nodded as the most radiant smile broke across her face.
"Yes." she said.
What? I looked at her in confusion and she elaborated.
"Yes, I will marry you."
"You will? But I didn't even ask properly. I don't have the ring with me."
"With you?" she asked.
I shrugged. "It's my grandmothers. I've been saving it for you."
"So you do want to marry me." She asserted.
"Of course I do."
"Alright then. That's all I need to know." She said.
"Wow. So, what does this mean?" I asked, just to make sure. I had to be imagining this. I was going to wake up in my bed any moment, completely disappointed.
"It means we need to pick a date. And the sooner the better, as far as I'm concerned." Claire said with certainty.
I love this girl.
"Who just proposed to who?" I asked. "Isn't that my job?"
"Let's just call it a mutual agreement." Claire got a mischievous glint in her eye. "Unless you want to back out?" she challenged.
"No. Hell, no." I said and pulled her into my arms. "You can't get rid of me now."
"That better be a promise." Claire said, rising up on her toes to get closer to me.
"Promise." I repeated and leaned down the last inch to kiss her.
Amazing.
THE END
A/N: Dear friends, as you know by now I am not big on writing these notes and I've never asked you for anything. But since this is the end of the story I would really love to hear from all of you – especially those who have remained silent up to this point. You may not think you have much to say, but I promise, I really do want to hear from you, so Please Review. Even if you just say that you liked it, I would like to know what your thoughts are. I have more stories running around in my head and you may determine whether or not I post them. If I know people out there like my writing, I will post, because that's the point of all this – so others can enjoy the stories in my head. So now it's up to you. Please let me know what you thought of the story, even if its to tell me something I messed up. I'd rather know so I can do better in the future. Thanks!
P.S. I know that in two stories now I have left Embry alone and hanging. I really like Embry, so if I get a good response here, I will write his story, continuing from this one though, and not Lonely Hearts as was once requested. I have a few characters here that I want to tell a little more about in it as well. Much love.
P.P.S. The ice castles are a real thing I've seen the last two winters in a community near where I live. If you'd like to see what I tried to describe, google "midway ice castles" and check out the photos on Brent's blogspot (he built them). They were so beautiful!