Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters, though I wish I did! I also don't own The Story by Brandi Carlile

A/N Thanks for the reviews and alerts! I'm glad that all of you are giving this a chance!

Chapter 4

…even when I was flat broke, you made me feel like a million bucks…

Santana groaned as she rolled over on the couch, shielding her eyes from the sun that had come spilling in through the large bay windows. She wished more than anything she could fall back to sleep and go back to the dream she was having about Rachel. Sighing heavily, knowing that it was just a dream, she reluctantly got up and went straight to the liquor cabinet. Her hand paused over the bottle of vodka when her eyes met with a smiling picture of Addie hanging on the fridge, was this really what she wanted? Thinking better of it, she decided to make some strong black coffee instead. Her head was still pounding from last night, and there was no way she was going to make it through work today. She found her cell phone and punched in the familiar number to her office. "Rich, can you do me a huge favor and reschedule anything I have planned today? I'm not feeling too well, I won't be in." She took her coffee back to the living room, and resumed her permanent spot on the couch. "Thanks, I owe you," she said as she hung up and tossed her phone aside. Sitting back into the couch, she wrapped her hands around the mug, sipping the hot, black coffee, willing the caffeine to take her headache away. She groaned as she heard a knock at the door, really not wanting to talk to anyone.

"Santana, I know you're home and I'm not going away."

Santana slowly put her mug on the coffee table, and made her way to the large entrance of the house. "Come in quickly, the sun's too bright."

Quinn paused before entering the house, stunned by how awful Santana looked. She tried to contain her gasp of surprise, but couldn't control the look on her face.

"Just say it."

"You look awful Santana." Quinn followed the Latina back to the living room. She couldn't believe what a mess the house was, empty alcohol bottles were scattered about. Santana's already thin frame was disturbingly thinner than the last time Quinn had seen her. "Are you eating at all?" Quinn took it upon herself to go into the kitchen and open the fridge. "Your fridge is full, so why aren't you eating?"

"Do you know how many casseroles I have been given in the last few weeks? I'm just not hungry." She refused to let her eyes meet Quinn's knowing it would just cause her to break down all over again.

"You can't drink her away Santana, she's already gone. The pain will still be there when you sober up," Quinn said gently. "Besides, don't you want to bring Addie home soon? She misses you. It's all she talks about in school. I think it would be good for the both of you to grieve together. She is still really confused about the whole thing. I bet Rachel would be so disappointed to know you haven't seen Addie in weeks."

Santana's head snapped up, anger flashed through her eyes. "Don't you dare tell me what Rachel would be. You didn't know her like I did, no one did. She was my wife, I think I'd know what she would feel like."

Quinn took a step back from Santana. She saw the anger in her eyes and knew she had gone a step too far, but someone had to snap Santana out of her drunken haze. "Let it out, Santana. You need to get this all out before you can even think about getting better and moving on."

That was the problem, she didn't want to move on. She wanted to keep everything in the house as Rachel had left it, wanted to remember everything she could about her beautiful wife. "I can't," she said sadly.

Quinn took Santana into a big hug. "No one said it's going to be easy, but Addie needs her mom now."

Santana broke down in tears, sobs shaking her body to the core, and would have certainly fell to ground had Quinn not been holding her.

"Shh, Santana. Let's go sit down." Quinn gently guided the sobbing Latina to the couch. "Let it all out," she said quietly, rubbing little circles on her back.

"I'm an awful person, Quinn," she choked out between sobs.

"I don't understand, what are you talking about?"

"I…I don't know if I can bear to have Addie home. I can't even look at her without seeing Rachel…I suck as a mom."

"She is a mini Rachel," Quinn admitted. "Shouldn't that make you want her even more? She's your only connection to Rachel."

"That's what makes it so hard. Everything Addie does, says, acts is Rachel and it hurts too much."

"Let's talk about something happier, ok?"

XXX

"Have I ever told you, you are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen?" Santana said, smiling at her wife.

"You really think so? I feel huge," Rachel replied, looking at her body in the full length mirror.

Santana laughed. Rachel had hardly gained any weight during the entire pregnancy. Keeping with her strict work out schedule and healthy diet, Rachel had only gained a small amount of weight.

"Can you believe in just a few weeks our baby will be here?" Rachel said, rubbing a hand over her large stomach.

Santana kissed her large stomach. "I still can't believe you wouldn't let us find out the sex of the baby until it's born."

"Baby, that's part of the surprise. It makes this experience with you so much more exciting. Do you want a girl or boy?"

Santana shrugged. "As long as it's healthy and both of you come through it ok, I'm happy with whatever it is, and as long as it has your voice," Santana joked.

"No," Rachel said, shaking her head adamantly. "I don't want that life for our child. I was an outcast most of my life, I would hate to see our child go through that."

"You love to perform Baby."

"It was all I knew, Santana. My dads saw my potential and then I was forced into taking dance classes, voice lessons, you name it. I knew no other way than to be the best I could be at everything. Where did it get me? I teach music here in Lima, and I go on a few auditions to the city now and then, and that's it."

Santana felt a small pang of guilt. She was the reason Rachel left New York and didn't follow her dreams.

"I see that look on your face, I wanted to leave New York for you."

Santana smiled, and tried to will away the guilt. "I make more than enough to support us and I'm happy to do it. I want you to be a stay at home mom."

Rachel smiled up at Santana, taking her into a hug as much as her growing stomach would allow. "How did I get so lucky to be with someone like you?"

"I'm the lucky one," Santana said, placing a kiss on Rachel's forehead.

Rachel tossed and turned that night, unable to fall asleep. Dull pains were beginning to radiate through her body, but it couldn't be the baby, it was too early. She turned towards her sleeping wife, she looked so peaceful she decided not to wake up. Slowly getting up off the bed, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Hoping that maybe some hot tea would help, she put up a tea pot. She paced the marble tiled floor waiting for the tea to boil, hoping that would help ease the pain. The pain only intensified as she waited, and she was pretty sure they were contractions. "Santana!" Rachel yelled from her spot on the floor in the kitchen, unable to get up, hoping her sound sleeping wife could hear her.

Santana rolled over, thinking she heard yelling but wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Noticing that Rachel wasn't in the bed next to her confirmed that the yelling was not a dream. Jumping up from the bed, she quickly ran down the stairs. "Rachel? What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Kitchen," was all she was able to say between contractions.

Santana ran to the kitchen, her heart beating fast when she saw Rachel doubled over in pain. "Is it the baby?" she asked nervously.

"I'm pretty sure. It hurts so bad."

"It's too early," Santana said worriedly.

"Well, he or she wants to come now," Rachel tried to make light of the situation.

Santana put her arm around Rachel, easing her to a standing position. "Should I call 911 or should I drive?"

"Let's just drive."

Santana didn't even bother to change out of her pajamas, as she headed towards the car with Rachel. For once she was thankful that Rachel was an over achiever and had her hospital bag already packed and by the door. "Everything's going to be just fine."

"I'm scared," Rachel admitted in a small voice.

Santana laid her hand on Rachel's leg, squeezing it for reassurance. "I'm scared to be a mom, but I have no doubt that we can do anything as long as we're doing it together." Santana sped to the hospital, trying to concentrate on the road and not the load moaning coming from her wife. She barely threw her car into park, before jumping out of the car in front of the emergency room entrance. She helped Rachel out of the car. "We need a wheel chair here!" she yelled as the doors automatically slid open. "Don't worry Baby, I'm sure my dad's here, and he'll get Dr. Stockman here in no time."

"Mija? Rachel? What's going on?"

Santana looked towards the voice and felt a wave of relief come over here when she saw her dad coming towards them. "Papa! It's Rachel, the baby's coming. Can you call her obstetrician?"

Dr. Lopez looked at Rachel, concern clouding his eyes. "Are you sure it's the baby? You're not due for a few weeks still."

"I'm pretty sure. It hurts so bad."

"Let's get you in a room quickly, I'll check you over while we wait for Dr. Stockman to get here. Mija, why don't you wait here while I go get Rachel set up. Call your mother, call Rachel's dads, and give them a heads up as to what's going on."

Santana kissed Rachel's cheek before watching helplessly as her dad wheeled Rachel away. She hesitantly turned back to the emergency room doors figuring she better move her car before it got towed away. She took her phone out of her pocket and made the necessary calls to the people who mattered the most, then it was just time to sit and wait.

"Mija, you can come back with Rachel now."

Santana jumped up from her seat in the waiting room. "What's going on?"

"The baby is on its way, but I don't see a reason to panic too much. Besides, I don't want Rachel to worry and have her blood pressure or the baby's shoot sky high. You're going to go in there, be calm, cool, and support her."

Santana nodded. "I'll try my best. So they're both going to be ok?"

"I can't predict the future Mija, but it's not time to panic yet. Plenty of babies are born prematurely and they are just fine. Between myself and Dr. Stockman, thing will go smoothly."

Santana took her dad into a big hug. "Thanks Papa." Taking a deep breath, Santana walked into Rachel's hospital room.

Rachel saw Santana and tried to force a smile. "Hi, Baby."

"Hi, Love. Papa said everything is going smoothly. Can you believe we're going to be parents soon?"

"No. I feel like the baby has been inside me so long, it's going to be weird to have him or her with us. I'm so excited to be a family."

Santana leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Rachel's forehead. "Me too." She held Rachel's hand tight as another contraction rippled through her body. "Just keep breathing, Baby. You're doing wonderfully."

The actual labor process went faster than Santana had expected, and before she knew it, they were welcoming a little baby girl into the world. Santana held her breath as she waited to hear the baby cry.

"Is she ok? Santana what's happening?" Rachel asked worriedly.

Tears of joy were began to fall from Santana's eyes as she heard the baby begin to cry. She kissed Rachel. "You were fantastic Honey, just fantastic. She's beautiful!"

"Congratulations, she's tiny, but healthy," Dr. Stockman said. He bought the baby over to them, placing her in Rachel's arms.

"Hi baby," Rachel cooed to the little bundle in her arms. She smiled up at Santana. "We did it, Baby. We have a daughter."

"Welcome to the family little Addison," Santana said, kissing the tiny baby on her forehead.

XXX

Santana wiped the tears away from her eyes as she remembered the day Addie was born.

"Feeling any better?" Quinn asked, wiping her own tears from her green eyes.

"Honestly? No, but I know now, I need Addie here with me."

Quinn smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that, and I bet Addie will be too. Let me help you clean up the house, and we'll go get her tonight."

"Do you think Puck would mind if you spent the night? I really don't know if I can handle Addie alone for the first night."

"Of course Puck won't mind. I'll give him a call later. Now, we need to make this house child proof again. Santana?"

"Yeah, Quinn?"

"Please promise me that you'll start taking care of yourself again? No more alcohol, and you have to eat, even if it means that I force feed you!"

Santana gave Quinn half a smile. "I promise."

Later that night, Santana took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Rachel's father's house. She was glad she had Quinn there for support because she knew this was going to be much harder than she had first realized.

"Mama!"

Santana couldn't help but smile and cry at the same time as her daughter threw open the door and jumped into her arms.

"I missed you!"

Santana help her daughter close, never wanting to let go. "I missed you too, so much Addie."

Addie wiggled out of Santana's tight grasp to jump on Quinn. "Hi, Aunt Quinn."

"Hi Sweetie."

"Why don't we go inside and get your things so you we can get you home, ok?"

"Ok, Mama!" The little girl grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her inside the large house.

"Santana, it's so good to see you," Victor said, hugging her tightly. He took a step back, looking her over. "Are you sure you're ready for this? We don't mind keeping Addie for as long as you need to keep her here. Jackson and I already talked about it."

"I'm ok, really. I need her home with me, and she needs me."

"I'll be with her for the night, if she needs anything," Quinn quickly spoke up from behind Santana.

Santana shot her a 'thank you' look. "Just let me know where her things are, and we'll get going."

"Everything is upstairs in Rachel's old room. Why don't I get it for you, you don't want to go up there."

Santana just nodded, seeing Rachel's old things was definitely not on her list of things to do tonight.

"Mama?" Addie asked tentatively.

Santana knelt down to her daughter's level. "What is it, Baby?"

Addie gave Santana another hug. "I thought maybe you weren't coming back, like Mommy isn't coming back. She's not, right?"

Santana could feel her already broken heart break even more. "Oh, Honey. Of course I was coming back for you! I've just been so busy it was better for you to stay here, but I'm here now, and I'll never leave you again, ok?"

"You promise?"

Santana held Addie close to her. "I promise," she said, kissing her on her forehead.

…You do, I was made for you…