Where is the Love?

A/N" Think of World War III, Think of Kyle and Clyde as the two sides. Think of Emily as the land. Think of the Titanic, Think of Craig as Jack, Think of Cartman as... the bad man who wanted to marry Rose, and Kristin as Rose. Craig was slipping away from Kristin and she's just letting it happen. Think of Fairy tale endings. Tweek is the handsome Prince, Carly is the fair Princess. Everything works out with those two. Perfect couple, together forever.

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Emily dreaded going to school on Monday. She had her dad drive her to avoid the bus ride. She looked like a zombie, walking in with a blank stare and unaware of people talking to her. Wendy came up to her with messy hair without her hat and a swelled up nose and bitched at her for a few seconds, before realizing it was pointless and stomped away. Stan hugged her for beating Wendy up. Clyde attempted to keep up with her to ask her what was wrong, but he also just sulked away. She walked into Mr.Garrison's classroom and stared into space. Kyle said hi and asked about some note. SOME NOTE! "Huh?" she snapped out of 'Zombie Mode' and acted her usual normalcy. "I said, I'm sorry but I thought you liked me because you answered 'Yes' to the note" .. "The note was from YOU?" Ohhh, shit. Then how did Clyde get the idea he liked her? There could only be one solution, and her name was Wendy Testaburger. "Yeah, I thought you knew that." Kyle gave Emily a doubtful look, then looked at Wendy. "Wendy says you were kissing Clyde yesterday." "B-but.. I thought, she tricked, what a WHORE!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Miss Wright? What was that?" Mr.Garrison was surprised, "Pricipals office, please. Or I'll have to punish Mr.Slave. "Ohoho, Jethuth Critht," he habitually moaned.

Emily walked down the hall and waited at the bench, where, of course, Craig was sitting. "Hey Craig, why are you here?" "I kicked Cartman's fat ass on the bus and then I flipped the teacher off." Why did she ask? Of course he flipped a teacher off. "You DID?" "Yeah, because he kissed Kristin, so I had no choice. God, why would he do that? I thought he was a fag. Plus, I had to save him from her kicking his ass." "Oh I see, and where did you hear this from?" Emily asked, a little bummed for Kristin. Maybe Kyle told him. Now that was rude. Kristin was so sorry, I would never tell on her. "Through the magic of sight, Emily" Ohh. OHH! They were pointing at HIM. Now things were sort of falling into place. "Emily, come in please, m'kay? Saying rude things in class isn't appropriate, m'kay?" God damnit. When were things going to work for HER?

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Clyde approached her at recess. "Uhh, what exactly happened yesterday? Wendy told me you wanted to meet me at the Library at 12?" Oh my god! SHE dropped off the roses, not Clyde. Ew, what a BITCH! Kyle stood infront of Clyde, "So Emily, want to meet at Stark's Pond at say... 6:30?" he tersely asked, completely brushing Clyde off. "Excuse me" Clyde asked, annoyed. "I was thinking we could see The Lakehouse. I hear its really romantic," Kyle asked, a little too loud. Odd. Yesterday he wanted to see the comedy, Click. Or maybe he was saying he wanted to see something romantic JUST because of Clyde. "MOVE IT, BITCH!" Clyde yelled, pushing kyle on the snowy ground. Kyle's hat fell off, revealing his hair, still combed out and everything. He is so cute for doing that!

Anyway, Kyle got up and flicked his hair behind his face. He tackled Clyde and they rolled into a pack of Kindergarteners, like a bowling ball to the pins. Each one of them flew into a different direction, as Emily just sighed and ran over to try and get them to stop. Emily can't have both guys, but she couldn't keep her feelings right. She squatted, head in hands, and bawled her eyes out. Wendy strutted over with an apologetic Bebe. Wendy said something about not fucking with her, but Emily just flipped her off again. Wendy strutted away, not realizing Bebe had ditched her. "Emily? I'm really sorry for how Wendy's been acting. She just wants Stan back so she wants to make him jealous," Bebe explained. "Well then, sniff why am I getting punished? I just stuck up for my friend!" Emily sobbed. "You took her hat. She's weird like that." Emily pulled the hat she dyed black out of her sling bag and handed it to Bebe. She looked impressed at how much better the hat looked, and ran to give it to Wendy. Maybe then she'd stop playing God with her life. Carly and Kristin approached, arms open. They kneeled beside Emily and gave her a warm hug. Emily couldn't help but smile. They had cared enough to be nice to her. "Thanks, guys... but what can I do? Clyde thinks I like him more than a friend, and Kyle thinks I ditched him!" Emily wailed. "I'm going to go beat the shit out of Wendy for you," Carly cheerily stated. "Yeah, and I'm going to explain it all to the guys, before they kill eachother," Kristin put in.

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Emily didn't realize what was going on. Everyone being NICE to her? That's a first! What could she do? Maybe she'd lost Kyle forever, maybe Clyde would never be her friend again! What if she never got her real kiss with Kyle, one that WASN'T interrupted by Jewish women or lovers. It's like once you think you're problems are solved, a whole new group of problems opens up.

Until next time, »aym«