A/N: If you can't look up the definition of "joke," then don't read it.

Chapter Two: Jasmine's first day at Hogwarts

I woke up looking really hunky. I mean cute. I got up in my purple silk nightie, which was totally cute and stuff. Lavender was giggling about makeup and boys and reality TV shows in the corner while Tori painted her nails dark red and Hermione read a book. Nina was doing something boring, reading some kind of magazine about poverty or world hunger or something.

"Good morning everyone!" I said adorably. I was vacillating about the cute Weasley twins. Hermione and Ron totally belonged together, right? "How are you guys?"

"Good, just waiting for you to wake up so we can go get breakfast together," Hermione said. "We always sit together, and usually with Harry and Ron too. You know I'm bff's with Harry Potter! OH, and Jasmine Sinclair-Lestrange." I nodded, happy. I put on my clothes, which were a short black shirt, cute black ballet flats, a white shirt, and a Gryffindor tie. I tied my gorgeous hair back into a ponytail.

"At Hogwarts we have a lot of good food," Nina said sweetly. I looked at her. "The house-elves help organize it, and they make all kinds of things, so you can pick whatever you like." She was putting on her blue-and-white striped socks, and smiled at me. What was with her?

I stood up and sashayed to the door. "All right, I'm ready!" I announced. Hermione, Tori, and Lavender rushed over, but Nina was being slow 'cause she needed another magazine about Indian wizards. Sheesh, I'm hungry.

The Great Hall was cool. I waved and winked at Malfoy, who waved back and smiled. I wanted to sit next to Fred and George cuz they're really cute but that boring Nina was already sitting there. Boo, that jerk. I sat next to Tori and Harry instead while Hermione and Ron sat across from us. They're like totally crushing on each other. ;DD Harry flirted with me by asking me questions like where I was from and stuff like that.

I went to my first lesson with Profesor MicGonagal or Professor Minerva. I turned a couch into a unicorn and got 1000 points for Gryffindor even thoguh I just joined third year. I stole a wand from a second year which let me do magic. Harry batted his eyelashes at me and ROn was totally stunned.

Over the course of the day, I gained 100 fanboys and 20 fangirls. All the teachers loved me, even Snape, and I got about 6000000 points total. When I got to dinner everyone wanted to sit with me, but I just sat next to Cedric Diggory, Neville Longbottom (who is a LOT hotter than it says in the books), Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Colin Creevey. They all showered me with money and fed me food.

When I got back to the common room, I saw Lavender and Nina talking. Lol, probably about something girly or boring. Then I went up to our room (Tori wasn't there yet) and...HERMIONE AND RON WERE TOTALLY MAKING OUT ON HER BED!

"OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" I screamed, flapping my hands around cutely. "I KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW IT!" Hermione and Ron jumped apart, both red-faced. "Like OMG Jasmine! You won't tell anyone will you?"

"Of course not," I said like the super best friend I am. Ron was blushing really bad. But right then Lavender and Nina walked into the room. Nina looked at Ron and Hermione, wide-eyed.

"Hermione, how'd you manage to get a boy into our room? I mean, well -"

"You idiot! ARE YOU GOING TO TELL!" I screeched. Cutely. "WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU!"

Nina looked shocked. "Tell? I'm not going to tell. I just wanted to get Fred and George up here, so -"

"EWWW! You're doing Fred and George?"

"No! So they can play pranks on the girls! Sheesh, get your mind out of the gutter, Jazzy."

I rolled my gorgeous captivating eyes. "Whatever."

Then we went to sleep.