Present, Sam's POV
"Really? You want to see Zombie Cannibals? I heard that Three Weddings was pretty good. For a chick flick," says Alex Harrington as we wait in line at the ticket booth. Today he's all fidgety, hands tucked in his jeans. He runs his hand through his blond hair nervously.
"You actually want to see a chick flick?" I ask, eyebrows raised.
"Well... I want to see it more than a senseless gore fest."
"So, you're a guy who's not into blood and guts. Well, that's a disappointment."
"Truth is... I'm really not into horror movies. They kind of freak me out. Usually they're pretty hackneyed and awful anyway," says Alex. He slips his hand into mine. "So, let's see something else. Please?"
I look into his green eyes. They're wide and puppy-dog-ish, but I don't give in. "Nope. It's Zombie Cannibals or nothing."
He sighs. "You're lucky I like you so much, or I'd walk out right now."
My stomach turns at that. This is our third date, after a coffee shop and a concert. I like him, certainly. He's nice and smart and a great musician. He even wrote me a song, which was pretty sweet. But I'm not so sure if I like like him yet. He kissed me after the concert, and I didn't feel anything. However, it was just a half-second peck, so I can't draw a fool-proof conclusion at this point. I feel obligated to at least give him a chance.
We make it to the front ticket booth and Alex says, "Two tickets to... Zombie Cannibals."
Silently, the man behind the counter slides across two ticket stubs. We pocket them and head over to the snack counter. For food, I get two large Peppy Colas, a package of Reese's pieces, a large popcorn, and some junior mints. I brought some bacon from the college cafeteria with me as well, which I rolled up in a napkin in my purse. You just never know when the bacon mood could strike.
Alex finds us seats near the back row of the theater towards the middle. We got here early, so very few people are seated so far. As the minutes slip past, more arrive and soon the theater is nearly full.
It's still about ten minutes to show time, so Alex starts talking. "Let's play a game. A questions game. We just take turns asking, to get to know each other better."
"Okay," I say. I just hope he doesn't ask anything too personal.
"I'll go first. So... favorite color?"
"Brown." At his surprised expression, I say, "It's the color of bacon."
"That explains it."
"What's your favorite TV show?" I ask
He pauses before deciding, "Doctor Who. Yeah, I'm kind of a sci-fi nerd." Then, he asks, "Favorite class in school?"
"Lunch," I reply. "Second favorite would be music composition right now. I don't know... it's just fun."
He nods. "Mr. Ward is a great teacher. Speaking of... I'm going to be presenting that song I wrote for you as our next assignment. You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course not. It's a great song." Next, I ask him, "Worst date you ever had?"
He laughs and says, "Okay, I'll tell you. So, I was eighteen, just graduated high school. In school, I wasn't really cool or anything. I was actually kind of nerdy. There was this girl who I'd always had a crush on, and she asked me if I'd like to go on a date with her. I was really surprised and said yes, of course.
"She was pretty, popular, and she seemed like a cool girl, or so I thought. We went to some restaurant and started talking. When our meals arrived, she started saying, 'You looked a lot cuter through your bedroom window.' I didn't really know what she meant by that, and then she said, 'I hope you don't think this is weird, but when my parents think I'm birdwatching, I was actually watching you with my binoculars.'"
I laugh. Wow, that girl is a total nub.
"By that time, I was getting pretty freaked out, so I tried to escape. I mean, I know it's bad to just leave a date in the middle of dinner, but I was really scared. So, I went to use the bathroom, and then went to the parking lot when I remembered that we had taken her car. I decided to go back in and suffer through the rest of the date. When I got to the door though, she was standing there, glaring at me. Then she burst into tears and started ragging on me for trying to stand her up. I tried to apologize, but soon everyone in the whole restaurant was beating up on me too. Needless to say, the drive back was pretty awkward."
"Well, that's pretty horrible," I say, still laughing a little bit. "It could probably win a worst date Oscar."
"So, tell me yours," Alex prompts.
My eyes widen at that. I feel obligated to answer him truthfully. I could tell him about that strange triple-date where I went with Reuben, the boy of nonsense. But my actual worst date was with the same boy who gave me some of my best as well.
"Okay. So, my former boyfriend and I had been going out for about a month when we went to Chuckie Cheese. We were sixteen at the time, but who doesn't love cheese pizza, arcade games, and plastic tubes? The whole time all the parents there were looking at us really strangely, and some of them even pulled their children away from us. I guess we looked like walking bad influences or something.
"So, after eating a lot of pizza and playing some games, we went into the plastic tubes. I don't think we were even allowed to, but I'm a rule breaker, and I rubbed off on him. Just because, we started making out in one of the slides. That's when a kid went down the slide and kind of pushed us down the slide and out the other end. We were, like, lying on the ground, and the kid was crying because he fell on his butt or something.
"That's when all the people there starting freaking out because it was obvious what we were doing in there. So, this really over-protective parent kind of detained us and called our parents. My ex's mother is a real freak, and she seriously flipped out on us. She grounded him, forbid him to see him. So, that sucked, but we worked it out. Lock-picks do come in handy."
"Wow, that was certainly an interesting date," Alex notes.
"Yeah, it was. Shh! The movie's starting," I say. But I can barely concentrate on the over-the-top gorefest that carries on in front of my eyes. Because I can hardly think of the worst times without remembering the best. Our first date.
Junior Year, April
"Someone's excited," Carly said, her tone light and teasing. It was my first date with Freddie, and I was so nervous that my hands were actually shaking. Carly pulled a dress out of her closet and held it up to me. "Yeah, this is the outfit."
"No, it's not. I don't need to get all dressed up. We're only going to a movie and TGI Thursday's." I crossed my arms over my chest, stubbornly.
"Come on, Sam, I know this means a lot to you. Don't you want to look your best?"
"Shouldn't people like you even if you don't look your best? Maybe I just want to wear jeans. Maybe I don't care. Maybe I should never have even said yes in the first place."
Carly sighed and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to sit down beside her on the bed. She looked at me seriously, and went into mother hen mode. "Listen, Sam. I know, you know, everyone knows that you do care. You like Freddie. Fine, don't wear the dress, but don't pretend that you don't care about this date at all because you do." She paused and then added, "I just want you to be happy, Sam. It's going to go fine."
"All right, I'll wear the stupid dress," I groaned, snatching it out of her hand.
After putting on Carly's green dress, brushing my hair, and slicking on some pink lip gloss, I decided that I was ready as I'd ever be. Even Carly approved. Freddie had arrived a few minutes earlier and was waiting downstairs. I took a deep breath and walked down the stairs into Carly's living room. He was sitting on her couch, looking the way he always did except with a nicer, button-down shirt. I sighed and stepped into the room.
"Wow, Sam, you look—"
"Shut it, nub. Don't make this awkward."
He hardly reacted. "Um, okay. Not how I pictured our first date starting... So, shall we get going?" Freddie asked, still smiling. Why was he smiling? How could he ignore my terrible attitude and jerkiness? I shook my head in an effort to clear it.
Freddie drove us to the movie. It was some sci-fi action flick that got good reviews. He chose it, of course. I was far more interested in Shriek 7, but he was paying so I eventually gave in. We got in just as the movie was starting, so we barely talked. He didn't try to put his arm around me or anything, which I thought was a relief. I don't think I wanted to go there in public just yet.
It was actually a great film, except it was pretty confusing. I ate about three-quarters of our jumbo butter popcorn and felt kind of stuffed afterward, but TGI Thursday's was one of my favorite restaurants, so I ordered a plate of chicken fingers anyway.
"What did you think of the movie?" asked Freddie, making polite conversation.
I tried to get comfortable in my chair. Why was I feeling so awkward? I should be happy. I've wanted this for months, whether I'll admit it or not. Maybe it was because we were sitting at one of those two-person tables reserved for cute, young couples and I was getting stressed out. Or maybe I was just being paranoid because I felt like everyone was watching us.
"It was good," I said. "For a nerd movie."
"Must you? No one's forcing you to be here. In case you forgot, you're the one who kissed me in the first place. You're the one who wanted this, Sam. So why do you keep making this so hard?" He was finally angry, and it was a relief in some way.
"I don't know. Can you just stop pestering me?" I said, awkwardly.
"People are staring."
"Whatever. I don't care."
Our food arrived then. The waitress gave us some very strange looks as she set our plates down, judging us. We begin eating in silence. I dipped my chicken in barbeque sauce and chewed slowly as I watched Freddie slowly eat his Alfredo pasta.
"I guess..." I began softly. "That I'm acting this way because I don't know any other way. I don't know, I've never learned how to be loved. So I'm on the defensive because... maybe I don't think I'm ready for it. You know, love. I'm scared, actually. I don't want to get hurt."
Freddie looked sad all of a sudden. Like he was pitying me. I didn't like it, but at least he understood. "Sam..."
"It's okay."
"You know, I wouldn't... hurt you. I wouldn't dream of it."
"But how do I know you're telling the truth? Up till a few days ago, you still thought I hated you. Is your mind magically changed? You don't just fall in love overnight. I know that."
"I sure as hell didn't fall in love overnight, Sam. If you only knew... But I didn't want to say anything. I honestly didn't think I could because I was too scared to see what you'd do. You should've given me a hint. Then it wouldn't have taken this long."
I didn't reply, but I felt a weight lifted deep inside of me. He really felt that way? The rest of our dinner went more smoothly. We talked about the most random things: iCarly skits, homework, TV shows, pickles.
We drove home, still talking. I barely insulted Freddie the whole drive. Well, I did, but it was all in a good-natured way.
I stood in the doorway of my apartment. The moon glinted off the streetlights which cast slightly-orange pools on the sidewalk. This was it. The goodbye kiss, I kept thinking. He was as close to me as I could stand.
"Goodbye, Sam," Freddie said, softly. I closed my eyes, separated my lips ever so slightly, and waited for it. I stayed there for a few seconds, before I slit my eyes back open. He was walking away from me. The nerve!
"Aren't you forgetting something?" I shouted after him.
"Um, no?" he said.
"Yep, I'm afraid you are." I walked back to him and looked straight into his eyes. I was too short to do it outright, but I laid my hand at the base of his neck and guided his head down until our lips met. It was soft, sweet, and it felt fitting. "There. You're free to go now."
He laughed. "Yes, I suppose I did forget something. Thank you for reminding me."
"Anytime."
Present
"I'll see you later, then?" Alex asks.
I glance up at him, snapping out of my daydream. "Yeah. See you tomorrow in class." I pause before adding, "Thanks for sticking through Zombie Cannibals with me."
"Thank you for not noticing that my eyes were closed for half the movie."
"They were?"
He changes the subject. "So, I think it's only fair that I choose our next venue. I was thinking something along the lines of... the beach. I hear that it'll be warm next week."
"Sounds lovely," I say because it does. Because it's not Alex's fault that he's not Freddie, or the idealized version of Freddie from my memories. It's not his fault that he doesn't always say the things I wish he did because he's not the same person. He says what he wants, and I can only imagine what Freddie would say if he was here. But he's not. He's in California, and he's not coming. I have to move on. I have too.
"See you tomorrow," says Alex, leaning into me lightly. He leaves a soft kiss on my lips. I smile at him afterward as he disappears down the dorm room hallway. It was a nice kiss, that couldn't be denied. But I wasn't left reeling. I was left wishing he wasn't the one who was here. And I was feeling terrible about it.
Author's Note: Thanks a lot for reading! I'm having a lot of fun writing this story, so I hope you enjoy it too. I'd like to thank SeddierFTW and Kpfan72491 for being such faithful readers and reviewing every chapter, as well as EmoGleek. This chapter isn't my favorite, but I'm really excited for the next one. It has Sam contemplating her relationship with Alex in a (hopefully) funny way and a flashback to what happened at prom which is pretty emotional. I can't wait to write it (after I write my English essay). Sorry for keeping Sam and Freddie apart for so long, but they will meet again in the chapter after the next one. Stay tuned, and please review!