I know this is a bit short, but I wanted to upload at least something. Thank you for the revies and alerts.
When I woke up it was still dark outside, the moonlight lit the room in a silver light and I heard Steve´s steady breathing. He was asleep and I tried to keep my breathing calm to not wake him up. He lay on his back, one arm over his eyes, the other resting on his stomach. He looked so relaxed and peaceful and I loved watching him like this. He seemed completely at ease, confident and I wished he´d be like this more often.
We had spend a very relaxed evening, talking about everything and nothing. I think we killed 2 bottles of wine but I didn´t care. It´s been a wonderful evening that we both didn´t want to end. My ship was leaving port tomorrow again, early. I felt my heart weighting heavy at the thought of leaving him again. I grew so used to being around him. I loved my job and I loved the responsibility that came with it. Still leaving Steve was hard, every single time.
It was funny but it took me some time to get back to the routine on board. Coming back to him though was easy and I immediately felt different around him. His voice soothed me and his embrace made me feel like right then and there – in his arms – was the safest place on earth. Whenever he kissed me for the first time after I get back, it felt like the very first kiss, because I could feel the months of being apart in the kiss. And the promise that there were many more to follow until I have to leave again.
I never knew for how long I would be gone. I never knew if it would be 4 weeks or 4 months. It got easier after a few days, because all I could do was focussing on my job. During the day I was able to avoid thinking about him, because I had a job to focus on. When I was alone though, at night or at the end of a long day, my thoughts would go back to all those memorable moments with him.
And there were plenty of wonderful moments with him. He was a genuine, loyal and strong man with high morals, who cared deeply for his team and his sister. I remember Mary Ann, I had met her during my first stay on Oahu. Not a pleasant memory though, I chuckled inwardly.
"You should go back to sleep, Cat, it´s still to early." his whisper startled me and I looked up to see him looking at me.
"I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to wake you up." I whispered back. His hand moved up under my hair to gently stroke my neck.
"Are you okay, Cat?" he turned to face me. My eyes were drawn to his face and I starred at him, as if I wanted to mesmerize every single line, every curve and every expression on his handsome face.
"Yeah, I just woke up and couldn´t go back to sleep." I leaned into his touch, my eyes never leaving his.
"Come here." he murmured and pulled me against his chest. I nestled against his side, my head resting on his chest, right above his steady and soothing heartbeat. He entwined our fingers on his stomach and rested his chin on my head. I smiled, feeling comfortable and safe in his arms. That was something that still surprised me, even after knowing him for nearly 4 years now. In his arms I forgot everything else, every problem, every danger and every worry. I felt safe and protected and comforted.
"I don´t want to say goodbye tomorrow," he whispered and when I wanted to sit up to look at him and say something, he soothed me down again, holding me tightly. "I know it´s inevitable. Remember, I´ve been down that road myself. I know that you have to leave... I still don´t like it. I´ll see you again when you come home, right?" I felt his thumb brush over the soft skin of my arm, from the fingertips to my shoulder. I doubted that he realized that he just said when I come home. Home. Confusingly that didn´t sound wrong, because here, with him, that was more home than any other place on this planet.
"Of course." I kissed the warm skin of his chest.
"How about we rent a boat next time and spend some time offshore? Just you and me?" he whispered.
"Mmmmm," I purred. "You´re spoiling me again, sailor." I heard him chuckle tiredly.
"Not at all. I just want you all to myself without any distraction."
"Sounds great, Steve." I murmured, snuggling closer to him.
"We don´t have nearly enough time for us, and I want to make every moment we have special." he whispered and I knew he was slowly drifting off to sleep.
"It is special, Steve." I whispered.
"Don´t want you to forget..." I heard his breath even out.
"Forget what?" I couldn´t help but ask.
"Me..." I froze in his arms. Did he really just say what I heard him say? He didn´t want me to forget him?
"I could never forget you." I whispered nearly inaudibly, but still I felt his arms tighten around me and pulling me closer. He didn´t say anything, probably already asleep, but his body reacted to my words.
It took me a while to calm down enough to go back to sleep.
The next morning came way too soon. I knew he was awake before me, long before our alarm went off, but it felt too good to be in his arms, his warm body pressed against me, holding me tightly. I didn´t want to leave. I just wanted to stay like this forever.
"Good Morning, Sunshine." he whispered, sensing that I was waking up too.
"How late is it?" I moaned, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.
"4.30am." His warm hand slid over my back, making me shiver with the gentle touch.
I groaned. Damn, back to the real world already. I felt torn between the need to stay here and not leave him. And the wish to be a good Lieutenant, to do a good job, to fulfill my duty.
"Hey sleepyhead..." his voice teased me and I pressed my lips to his neck.
"Don´t wanna get up." I murmured against his skin, feeling his arms wrap around my naked body.
"Been way too short this time." he whispered and I knew that he really meant it. I knew that he cared for me. Deeply. He wouldn´t mind having me around more often and quiet frankly, I didn´t mind either.
"I´ll be back before you remember me." I assured us both, forcing myself to sound light and confident.
"Yeah... like it would take me 2 months to think of you again." His left hand moved to my hair, gently brushing some strands out of my face.
"Oh, you´ll forget me as soon as I ´m out your door." I teased, only partly making fun.
"Yeah, probably. As soon as I see all those women lining up at my door, I´ll forget you." His fingertips found the pulse under my ear, gently rubbing over it.
"I knew it. But don´t feel bad about it, with all those toned, muscled guys on board I won´t have time to miss you either." My fingertips followed the outlines of the tattoo on his chest, marveling in the softness of his skin.
"You´ll miss me." he said, sounding terribly confident and cocky, while his fingertips gently brushed over my lower back.
"You think?" I laughed and kissed his chest.
"I know it."
"Oh really now? Mr. Irresistible, hm?"
"Yeah, I just have that effect on women, you know?" I heard the laughter in his voice and slapped his chest playfully.
"Sounds like Danny was right about the way you treat women, huh?" I teased him. Steve got serious suddenly and placed a finger under my chin, lifting it so he could look me in the eyes.
"We´re both pretty good at avoiding what it is we have between us, Cat. And I´m not sure we´re ready to go there yet. But you should know that as far as I´m concerned you and I are exclusive." His eyes held mine, his face serious and full of... something, that I couldn´t quiet put my finger on. But I knew that he was honest.
"Just joking, sailor." I smiled at him, not ready to get into that just yet. Inside me though I was bursting with joy. He had been the first to voice that what we had was actually more than just sex. There WAS more, no way denying that. And even if we didn´t put a label on it, we both knew that it was special. And that was all that mattered to me right then.
I moved my head closer and kissed him gently, feeling his warms lips under mine. When his arms closed around me to pull me closer, I felt the warmth of his skin engulf me. And the feelings his words had caused warmed me from the inside. I felt a laughter inside me starting to rise and I tried so hard to suppress it. But it was getting harder and harder to fight it and finally I gave up and giggled, our lips still locked in a tender kiss.
I felt a smile grow on his own lips and only seconds later we were both laughing, holding each other. It felt too good to be this playful and careless.
"I get it you´re not mad at me then, huh?" He laughed, rolling me over so that I was on my back, with him towering over me. My hands slid from his chest to his neck, pulling him down for another sweet kiss.
"Not at all." We both got serious again, but our eyes held each others gaze and his hand came up to frame my face and let his thumb gently brush over my cheek.
His eyes told me all the things that his mouth couldn´t say and I couldn´t look away. Maybe he didn´t even realize how much the tender expression in his eyes told me. Maybe he didn´t realize the way his thumb was over and over again brushing over my check as if he wanted to burn the feeling of my skin into his memory. Maybe he didn´t realize the thumping of his heart, the way it adjusted to the pace of my heart.
When he leaned down to kiss me this time, I felt my eyes tear up as there were too many emotions inside. And then he wrapped his arms around me and held me, assured me and soothed me. And I felt like everything would be okay. We would be okay.