DISCLAMER SM OWNS EVERYTHING:(
BPOV
I drove aimlessly until the bright winter sky turned dark. And even then I continued to drive, my mind focused on erasing the image of Edward and that skank fucking. It flashed before my eyes no matter how hard I tried, flashes of him putting all his strength into bringing the whore under him pleasure. Flashes of his shocked face when he finally realized I was there, watching him cheat on me. And every time a new flash passed through my mind I allowed my heart to break a little more, I allowed myself the pain of knowing that I wasn't enough for him.
Eventually I pulled into a run-down motel parking lot. I wiped my tears away and looked at myself in the mirror insulted in the compartment above my forehead. What I saw disgusted me. The mirror showed a pathetic, broken girl with red, puffy eyes, and blotchy skin, a girl I never thought I'd see again. Swiftly closing the compartment I got out of the car and walked slowly towards the motels' front door. I swung the door open and asked for a room. The greasy looking, pimple faced teenaged boy behind the desk
handed me a key and told me I need to come back in the morning to pay. I left him there not hearing a word he said and proceeded to the room.
I unlocked the door and headed straight to the tiny bathroom. When I got there I striped, turned on the tub and got into the steaming water. The water was extremely hot but all I felt was my body shake with the sobs. I let myself cry until the water went cold. I got out and rapped myself in one on the white towels in the bathroom and headed towards the bed. The mattress squeaked when I sat down on it and I noticed than I hadn't even bothered to
turn on the light when I had first walked through the front door. I lay back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Staring at the ceiling allowed the thoughts I'd tried so hard to avoid make an appearance. I started asking myself if it was my fault. The fights we had, my jealousy of the attention he got from other females, my anger at him always being right. Every single thing that could have compromised our marriage. And the one thing that it always seemed to come back to was the baby. It had been unplanned for and a shock to both of us but we had loved him. He had died in my womb during my sixth month of pregnancy. It was painful and sad and in the end our marriage nearly ended. We tried to ease each other's pain but at the time it seemed to be easier to do it alone.
As I thought of it now I couldn't believe how incredibly stupid it sounded, we should have dealt with our pain together and worked to make our marriage stronger.
Slowly exhaustion took over and my eye lids began to droop allowing sleep to overtake me.
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Okay so this chapther is al little on the short side but it would seem as though it is impossible for me to write longer chapters:( So the new plan is to do shorter chapters that are posted faster!
And too the people that review and favorited; I LOVE YOU!
XOXO Karen
oh and... REVIEW:D