I know I repeat myself but THANK YOU! so much for the reviews and alerts. As actions say more than words, here is another chapter. Some pain, sadness and comfort for our favorite couple. I have no idea if I am not getting the details on board a ship right, but I just had to let her comfort him.

I´ll try to have another chapter ready by the end of the week. Until then: Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I don´t own anything!

It´s been a long day, working extra hours was nothing unusual but when you add a difficult mission to it, that makes it something else. We´ve lost 3 men today. 3 men who gave their life´s for the wellbeing of a million others that they didn´t even know. Others who would never know the sacrifice these men had made.

I was tired, no scratch that, I was exhausted to the bone, barely able to make my way back to my cabin. It took all of what was left of my strength to walk with my shoulders straight and my head up high, greeting every officer I met on my way. I was going on autopilot, functioning, not thinking. All I wanted was to shower and curl under my covers. Just sleep. Forget.

When the door of my cabin closed behind my back and I was able to lean against it heavily, I felt a wave of sadness rushing over me. After 4 years in the Navy I still wasn´t able to get over this, it still touched me. I didn´t know the 3 young SEALs that were killed today, but my heart went out to the families who would be getting 2 officers at their doors soon. Telling them that their husband or son or brother was killed fulfilling his duty for his country.

I couldn´t help but think back to another day, a similar mission. When I´ve heard Steve´s voice in my headset, ordering a rescue team to pick them up...

I desperately tried to calm myself down, taking deep breaths and trying to focus on the task. This was not the right time to allow panic, I had a job to do. And my job was to get the SEAL team to safe terrain and have a rescue time waiting there for them to pick them up.

Still I couldn´t help but feel panic. Hearing his voice and recognizing that it was him who asked for immediate evacuation, has made my worst fears come true. I haven´t spoken or heard from him in 5 months. And suddenly I had his voice in my headset, yelling for a rescue team. I knew what I was suppose to do and I would make sure to get him out of there. But still, the private part inside me was torn and in panic.

"Lieutenant, you got them?" the voice of my supervisor pulled me out of my thoughts and withing a split second I was back. I would get him out of there, I would safe him. I nodded at my supervisor while I instructed the rescue unit and gave them the coordinates of the SEAL team. 30 minutes. It would take them 30 minutes to get there, into the middle of the desert. And all I could do was trying to keep them safe until then. With whatever limited options I had, but I didn´t plan on letting him down.

"Steve?" My voice was raw with worry and I cleared my throat. I wouldn´t help him if I was sounding like a little girl in fear. He needed me to be strong now, to ensure him that he and his team would get out of there safe.

"Cat?" His voice was full of surprise and for a second I saw his face in front of me. The moment before he kissed me for the first time on that beach.

"Yes sailor, listen to me. I´ll send you the coordinates, you have to make it there in 30 minutes for a rendezvous with the rescue team." I was glad my voice was strong and steady, showing a confidence I didn´t really feel inside. But I couldn´t think about that now, all that mattered was to get him there. My fingers flew over the keypad, hitting enter with more force than necessary when I sent out the coordinates to him.

"Understood." his reply came and his voice was steady as well.

"There will be a chopper waiting for you to get you out of there, sailor." I couldn´t help but get more personal. I had to let him know that I would do whatever I could, to get him out of there.

"Roger."

I so badly wanted to scream 'Talk to me, tell me what´s going on. Don´t let go yet!' but I knew that the SEAL team´s top priority was getting to the location I´ve just send them. My heart was thumping and I felt sweat making my uniform stick uncomfortably to my body. I pushed every thought about him out of my head, just focussing on getting a SEAL team to safety. I´d have enough time for panic and worry later, when they were safe. This was my job, my responsibility.

I lifted my head and saw my supervisor look at me, straight at my face. I realized that he knew something was different this time, but he also acknowledged the fact that I was able to pull myself up.

"Good job, Lieutenant." he said and I nodded.

My eyes went to the screen that showed me a satellite image of the area. The GPS signal of Steve´s unit was slowly moving towards checkpoint with the rescue team. I knew that we´d make it in time, that we´d be able to get them out of there.

25 minutes later I got the confirmation that the rescue team had picked up the SEAL team, 3 injured, 1 dead. They´d fly them out to the hospital on board the USS Enterprise, one of the best equipped mobile hospitals the NAVY could offer. And it was my ship.

When the confirmation came, I realized that the adrenaline I was running on for the last 2 hours was decreasing and exhaustion kicked in. Mental and physical. They were safe. At least this time. The helicopter arrived 45 minutes later and knowing my shift was to end, my supervisor nodded at the door looking at me. I nodded as well, got up and left immediately. I wanted to be there when they got in. I wanted to see with my own eyes that he was safe.

I stood there, feeling the wind blowing over the deck of the USS Enterprise. I heard the faint sound of an approaching helicopter and when I saw it, my heart started thumping again. They landed and the medics were there immediately, taking care of the wounded SEALs. The remaining members of the unit left the chopper and I saw him right away. Even though I stood a bit off the side to not get into the way of the medics, I was close enough to see him.

He was tired and his camouflage was stained with dirt and blood. His movements were still smooth and fluid, but the tension in his shoulders and the determined set of his jaw told me that he was only going on adrenaline and the will to survive. Whatever he and his team had been through, he was still in the middle of it. He waited until a single body bag was lifted carefully off the chopper. He stood there, grief and pain radiating from him. He waited until it was brought out of sight, honoring his fallen comrade. And then he saluted to his superior, giving him a quick brief of what happened and handed him something. After a final salute he was dismissed.

He came towards me but hadn´t seen me yet and I clutched my fists into the pockets of my pants, to keep myself from running towards him. I knew I couldn´t do that, and even if I could, I knew he wouldn´t want me to show that kind of affection. Not in front of his team. Not now. So I patiently waited until he was close enough. My eyes on his face, silently willing him to look up. And when he finally did, his eyes found mine in an instant.

I saw pain and despair. So much pain, that my heart went out to him. I wanted to hold him, wrap my arms around him and hold him.

"Lieutenant." his voice was low, raw, husky, when he stood in front of me. But he was standing up tall and proud.

"Commander." Damn, my voice was too gentle, showing too many emotions, but I couldn´t help it. I was thankful. So goddamn thankful that he was alive.

"Thank you for getting us out of there." he said, his eyes slowly getting softer. The tension in his jaw eased and his shoulders slumped a bit, as if a weight was removed of them.

"I`m glad you´re safe, sailor." I whispered, feeling my fingernails digging into my skin, breaking it, just to keep myself from reaching out and touching him.

"Your cabin. Later." he said and I nodded.

"I´ll be there." I assured him. He saluted and this time it was a gesture full of respect. He acknowledged me. What I did. I knew that my eyes were tearing up when I mimicked his gesture, showing just as much respect and gratefulness. I watched him leave. And with an angry motion I brushed a tear of my cheek.

Three hours later I heard a knock on my door and opened immediately. Steve stood in front of me, one arm against the frame as if to steady himself. He had showered and changed into clean camouflage, but his face still showed his inner turmoil.

I stepped aside, letting him enter and closed the door behind him. I leaned back against the door while dropped on the small bed. His elbows resting on his knees, he looked at me. I met his gaze, not saying a word. I knew he would start talking when he was ready.

I felt his eyes all over my body, taking in every little detail. When our eyes met again, I saw that the tension was gone. He was calmer, steadier and when he reached out a hand to me, I moved towards him without hesitating. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulled me close and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He buried his face in my stomach, holding me tightly against him. I knew he needed this embrace as much as I did. I moved one hand to his head, gently combing my fingers through the short, dark strands.

We stayed like this for a long time. It felt so good to have him close, to feel his body against mine and to hold him. Today has been an emotional roller-coaster, but he was safe.

"Michaelis didn´t make it." were his first words since he came here and I shivered when I heard the pain behind them. I knew Michaelis, I had met him the night I had met Steve. He was a tall guy with a warm smile. He was like a little boy, mischief glistening in his eyes.

"I´m sorry." I whispered, holding him tightly against me.

"He´s been the most careful guy I know. Never taking a risk. Evaluating situations and calculating every possible risk. But this time he didn´t. He just... he just left cover to give us a chance to get out of there." Steve´s words were muffled, but I could still hear the pain in them. I remained silent, silently urging him to talk to me.

"We´ve been through boot camp and training together. I´ve known him for 8 years. 8 years, Cat!" His arms tightened around my waist painfully and he hid his face against my stomach. I felt his shoulders tremble and my heart broke. He was in so much pain and I didn´t know how to ease it. He had lost a friend, a comrade, a member of his team. He was used to being in dangerous and seemingly futile situations. He was used to fighting and killing. Still loosing a close friend was something you couldn´t get used to. It was more than feeling responsible for his men. This was personal.

"He got married, 2 years ago," Steve continued and I just kept listening to him. "His wife wanted him to quit, because she couldn´t take it anymore. How am I suppose to tell her that he got killed doing what she hated so much?" I felt his fingers fisting the fabric of my shirt and I didn´t care if he tore it apart. My arms were trembling with the effort to provide comfort, holding him and assuring him. But I didn´t care, I didn´t pay any attention to that. I just wanted to ease his pain, to carry the weight with him.

"There was no need for him to leave cover. He should have stayed. Damn, he was safe, we all were safe! But he got up, yelling for us to move and we got going. There was no reason to stay when he had drawn all attention to him." I felt his tears through my shirt.

"He got shot 4 times. His sacrifice allowed us to get out. Without him we all would have died. He saved us." Now his whole body was shaking with silent sobs and I didn´t care that tears were streaming down my face.

"That´s what makes being a SEAL so goddamn hard, Cat. Not fighting, not infiltrating, not spying. It´s loosing your friends, your team, being reminded of your own mortality, that´s what makes it so fucking hard."

My heart was broken, my inside was reaching out to him and my arms were wrapped around him securely. It took him a long time to calm down, but finally his breath evened and he lifted his head looking up at me. I gently brushed the tears from his face.

"Can I stay tonight?" he asked and I nodded. He needed me, he needed warmth and gentleness to be able to deal with the aftermath. And I was glad that I was there to provide it. I wanted to help him. I didn´t care about any consequences.

He shifted, laying down on the small bed and pulled me with him. I cuddled up close against him, feeling his arms around me. We didn´t care about undressing. I wrapped my leg around his, my arm around his waist, nestled my head under this chin. And within seconds we both fell asleep. I don´t remember, if I dreamed that night but I remember that we woke up in the same position the next morning, wrapped around each other.

He got up before dawn. He kissed me gently before leaving and I wanted to pull him close and hold him. But I knew he had to leave.

"Steve?" I said when he was about to open the door. He turned around to me and for the first time I saw a small smile on his face.

"Dinner. Your place. As soon as I get back next time." I said, not caring that I was forcing him into another date.

He nodded, closing the door again and coming back. He sat down on the bed, framed my face with his hands and kissed me. Full of emotion and tenderness and care. I replied to his kiss the same way. His lips were warm and soft under my lips and I just wanted this moment to never end. When we broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Can´t be soon enough." he whispered, kissed me again and then he was gone.

My body finally warmed up under the hot spray of the shower and when I moved over to my bed, I didn´t bother dressing. I slipped under the covers naked, wanting to feel his arms around me so badly. I missed him. I needed him.

I felt tears rising behind my closed eyes and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears to stop from spilling. My arms wrapped around myself weren´t enough to make me feel less alone. But that was all I could do right now.

Finally I felt my consciousness slipping off as sleep started to claim me. I was thankful for that, I just wanted to forget. I didn´t realize the wetness of my pillow that was soaked from the tears streaming down my face.

I just wanted to forget.