Chapter 4
Intrusion

According to my watch, the school year had officially begun a mere two hours ago. Two hours and yet I am already faced with the most absurd conflicts such as the infiltration of the school auditorium by some crazed brigands, the impossible meteorological phenomenon of precipitating serpents within the confines of the said auditorium and the sudden annihilation of the very same snakes by one frail-looking brunette.

Hmm… And to think, Teikoku Gakuen is renowned for the academic excellence and moral integrity of its students- the irony.

As I attempted to ease my oncoming headache, one of what I perceive to be many more throughout the next few years, I now faced the cause of snake genocide who answered my simple question with a confused expression.

It's true that she had taken care of my second problem but, as the rest of the guilty party had miraculously escaped after their stunt and the mere act of violence she had done, though against a serpentine threat that eventually had to be resolved anyway, was deemed as "a bad example for the students of the school" thus she remains subject to punishment at my hands in lieu of the principal. In any case, Touya was currently searching for the escapees who would face a greater punishment than the girl before me.

"Are you mute?" I reiterated, easing my voice though the question remained blunter than I had intended.

Otomiya nodded her head in response but stopped abruptly and stared at me with a look of sudden realization.

"Is something wrong?" Her silent gaze was unnerving but I met it with habituated detachment, assuming a questioning look as I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow at her.

'Takanari-kun…'

I stopped and blinked in surprise.

"E?"

'I thought she was mute… I could have sworn that I just heard her voice… Maybe I'm going insane?' I almost shrugged at the thought. 'Well, that would be highly likely considering the day I've been having thus far… Wait a moment- why is she being familiar with me when I've never even seen her before this idiotic incident?'

"I beg your pardon?"

Immediately, she began moving her hands in feverish gestures, trying to communicate something to me in what appeared to be sign language. That would have been useful if I could actually understand sign language, but with my limited knowledge, all I managed to discern was something about the past. I probably looked like an idiot, standing there and staring at her hand movements.

"Please wait one moment! That's too fast!"

As if that would have helped anyway. It's a wonder that I could understand any of that at all, actually.

As she repeated her incomprehensible hand motions, the door slammed open, forcing both of us to stop and gape at the entrance where the yakuza and the eccentric now stood with the annoying mutant at their feet.

Ichinomiya-san- I think that's her name- pouted, ungracefully might I add, and gaily greeted, "Koutei-chama!"

"…Chama?"

Crossing her arms in self-satisfaction, Ichinomiya-san explained, "You're so tense all the time! So I decided to add 'chama' instead so you'd be more kawaii!"

Being a normal person, evidently unlike the other people around me, I glared at him pointedly with an arched eyebrow and muttered through gritted teeth, "Kawaii?" Already, the name induced the silent giggle of Otomiya beside me though a quick glance in her direction effectively stopped her.

"Ichinomiya-san, Tsujimiya-san… And… whatever that thing is…" The creature hissed at me when I failed to mention it in my greeting, prompting me to add that last bit as an afterthought. "What, may I ask, are you doing?"

"Senri-sensei said to bring Otomiya to him." Replied the yakuza, pointing in the direction of the girl. "Oh, and you too."

"Me?"

"Yeah, so go."

All of a sudden, I was standing outside my own office, staring at the closed door with Otomiya beside me, just as confused as I was.

…Talk about respect…

"Ah, Koutei-sama, Haine-chan, there you are!" Senri-sensei waved us into the school clinic, flamboyantly spinning his chair to face us as he vaguely indicated toward the room, "come in and make yourselves at home!"

"Senri-sensei…" I nodded to him, still annoyed about the fact that I was kicked out of my own office and intent on directing this irritation toward the man before me. We entered the room, Otomiya following behind me uncertainly, and remained standing before him; I wasn't about to sit on one of the patient beds knowing some ghastly sickness lying dormant within may infect me. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Senri-sensei simply waved his hand in the air absentmindedly, unsuccessfully using this motion to distract us as he hastily rubbed away what seemed like a lipstick stain on his cheek and whined, "Maa, Touguu-san, don't be so tense!"

"Omae…"

"Anyway…" Ugh, the imbecile just ignored me. "Haine-chan, your medicine is here."

Oh, I had forgotten that she was here as well. Otomiya walked up to him and took the medicine and signed something to which he signed back and patted her head. I had already known him to be unhealthily obsessed with girls, the lipstick stain was just a minute indication of that, but I never imagined his craze to extend to minors as well. The knowledge that our high school doctor was possibly a pedophile is a bit disconcerting.

"Aren't you being slightly too familiar?"

"What did you say?"

Oops, I said that out loud…

"Oho! I didn't think you thought that way, Koutei-sama!" Senri-sensei laughed shrilly, adopting a feminine pose of hiding his face behind his hand and giggling like a pubescent female. I seriously want to hurt him right now. "No, no, Haine-chan was my patient at my former hospital… Don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" What was there to remember after all? Prior to this morning's chaos, I have never seen this girl in my life. I do remember Senri-sensei from two years ago although I don't see why that would relate at all…

"You don't ne…" Senri-sensei sighed while I simply blinked in confusion. All of a sudden, Otomiya signed something to the teacher with fervent intensity, resulting in the teacher signing back just as quickly. Honestly, it's a miracle they even understand each other at the speed of their gestures. Although… I think I saw them indicating at me a few times.

At the fifth time I noticed them point at me, I growled, as anyone might surely do in this situation, "what?"

Scratching his chin thoughtfully, Senri-sensei smirked at me. "Well, Koutei-sama, you now have a new Student Council member."

And all I could do was stare.

"Nani?

Updated: 07/23/11