Day Thirty-Three: 11:37 AM. Location: At Tseng's sister's house.
Her name is Julia. Heck, that's better than Tsengelle, Tsengerina, Tsengabelle, and all those other names I thought about.
So, after passing out about a half hour later when she told me her brother was an adult star, I got yet another shock. A shock-ier shock. The shock-iest shock of all shocks.
Julia left for work, this time directing a 'Girls gone Wild' in Wutai. I went to get some coffee at the local Starbucks. I like mocha lattes with no whipped cream.
So, I was sitting in the back of the café, drinking my latte and thinking of Tseng's part in 'Fantasy'. The all of a sudden, I look to the side, and some woman spots me.
She points at me and screams, "YOU! YOU! YOU!" And she runs over and before I could do anything, so slaps me across the face. Everyone in the café is watching me now…
"What the hell did I do?" I stood up and glared at her.
She pointed at her stomach. "THIS!"
"I got you fat? Gee, sorry lady, the gym's closed today."
"YOU GOT ME PREGNANT, YOU DUNCE!" She whacked me in the head with the newspaper she had in her hand.
I… I'm going to be a father? Hell, I always thought I was infertile because when I was fifteen years old this girl took a wrench and went on a castrating spree because I stole her wallet. She sent me to the hospital, she did. Stupid wench.
I woke up with a horrible headache, thinking if it was all a dream, but noooooo, I woke up in the hospital yet again, reminding me of when I was fifteen.
Elena was sitting by me. "Oh Reno, you're going to be a dad! Can I name the kid? Please? Please? Pleeeease?"
I wished I could take the intravenous and shove it down her throat.