A/N: I HAVE THE FLU! Oh shit.

There are times you feel humiliated enough that you want to jump off a bridge to your death. There are times you feel embarrassed like a naked person smeared with Betty Crocker's Strawberry Mist frosting and had yellow Chocobo feathers thrown onto you.

Rude didn't feel like that. Rude didn't feel shame. When everyone who came to party in his honor passed out from drinking too much, he turned down the disco music and found his clothes stuffed underneath a couch cushion. His patience was tested when a fat, hairy man in a diaper was draped over the couch.

Rude managed to get his clothes back eventually. The diaper man fell to the floor, mumbled something about phenylephrine and ecstasy, and went back to sleep.

Julia, as always, woke at dawn. When she did, she saw bodies and bottles of liquor strewn haphazardly all around her living room. Grumbling and silently cursing, she rubbed her eyes and got up from the floor. Teetering to the bathroom in her heels, she threw up her stomach contents and washed her mouth with water, checking herself in the mirror before she left. Mascara and eyeliner running down her face… lipstick smudged… looking like one of the girls in the movie paralleling Titanic

Emerging from the bathroom unusually rumpled and messy, she paused. Something wasn't right. Oh yeah. Julia went back in and flushed the toilet.

But something still didn't seem right. It smelled odd in the living room. Besides from the smell of spilled beer, it smelled…

Different.

Reno was the one who called the police. And Officer Jade was the first one to enter, unrolling an infinite amount of yellow tape around the house and living room. Apparently, every single one of the partiers, sans Reno and Julia, plus a missing Rude, were dead.

Officer Jade was shoved outside, along with all the other policemen and Julia. Reno went in with the detective, medical examiner, and the blood analyst. "So, what kind of party was it?" The detective asked as he slipped on some latex gloves to check out the bodies.

Reno fidgeted and leaned against a wall. "Julia and I found Rude in the house and dressed him up in drag."

All three professionals stopped what they were doing and just stared at Reno. "Say, you don't work for Shinra, do you?" The blood analyst asked, checking out a blood spray pattern on the rug.

Reno nodded. "Can I go outside? It smells in here."

The detective ushered him out and gave him his card, not before telling him, 'If Rufus Shinra finds out about this, he's going to lose millions. Don't speak about it."

The Medical Examiner of Midgar's crime lab was an attractive young woman who did not like to speak. Yet she said more words than she ever did in a few years when this case opened.

Tseng, leader of the Turks and Julia's older brother, was to be trusted on this and swore not to tell Rufus. He accompanied her in the lab. "So, who how did these people die?"

She pointed to one. "Stabbed in the heart." She pointed to another. "Slit throat. Injection of spider venom. Asphyxiation by porcine by-product."

"Porcine by-product?"

"Pork rinds." She paused and pointed to other bodies. "Internal bleeding, and this one," She pulled off a sheet to reveal a pale woman's body. "Died before she got to the party."

Tseng had nothing to say, but was looking around the room.

"Dead for about six hours each. The woman's been dead for about a day. He," She pointed to the one with the slit throat, "Died first. Blood spatter shows he was attacked from behind. Very Jack The Ripper-ish."

Tseng pulled on a pair of latex gloves and examined the woman who had a small puncture mark on the side of her neck.

"Spider poison. Widely distributed throughout factories that manufacture beauty products and beauty labs."

"But the killer's modus operandi is different for each person-"

"Which leads to the fact that there might be more than one killer. Perhaps they were Turks." She said quietly, pulling a sheet over one of the exposed bodies.