Disclaimer: I only own Alexis Michaels. Only her.
Searched 'ALCOHOL' this time. A lot more different results then when I searched 'DRUNK'
.~.
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Shannon Moore
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire
To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge
I fucking love science majors – she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log
To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
I found a twelve pack under my bed and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel
To: The Miz
From: Chris Jericho
About to find out how well alcohol and laser tag mix
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tail, with more alcohol
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
I got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc I was bored. My mom now supports my alcohol problem
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead-talk, I got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, I like her dad already
To: Rob Van Dam
From: Ken Anderson
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada? I'm not EVER coming home
To: Edge
From: Christian
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? no alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
It's a lot easier to hide alcohol when you're wearing a toga..
To: The Miz
From: John Morrison
Everythings easier when you're wearing a toga
To: Matt Hardy
From: Jeff Hardy
My boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. I told her there's a time in a guys life he has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. She looked so proud, I think I might get a raise
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Wade Barrett
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol
To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together
To: Evan Bourne
From: Justin Gabriel (school setting)
My advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definitely picked the right college
To: Alexis Michaels
From: Jeff Hardy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheeseburgers. I think I found my future husband
To: Chris Jericho
From: Christian
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately
To: Alex Shelley
From: Chris Sabin
I'm sure we could have fun without alcohol but I just don't wanna chance it
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Evan Bourne
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism
To: Edge
From: Matt Hardy
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
To: John Morrison
From: Alexis Michaels
So I wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off – he would know how I really feel, not just the alcohol talking
To: Alexis Michaels
From: John Morrison
How did that work out?
To: John Morrison
From: Alexis Michaels
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since I didn't have my reminder..
To: Edge
From: Christian (school setting)
I just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. This is certainly a warning sign
To: Edge
From: Matt Hardy
We went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. Alcohol is truly the anti-cockblocker
To: Alex Shelley
From: Chris Sabin
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
That was long passed due
To: Wade Barrett
From: Heath Slater
They're just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. I want them to adopt me
To: Evan Bourne
From: Justin Gabriel
No. One of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish than us at our age. Challenge accepted
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
If I die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know I kinda expected it and totally deserved it
To: Matt Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater (school setting)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college