Disclaimer: I only own Alexis Michaels. Only her, nothing else
.~.
To: Christian
From: Edge
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night
To: Edge
From: Christian
And that worked?
To: Christian
From: Edge
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards
To: Matt Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
Ask politely
To: Alexis Michaels
From: Matt Hardy
Fine. Can I please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
To: Matt Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
That's good enough
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
To: Chris Jericho
From: The Miz
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only English she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consensual
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Evan Bourne
I literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
To: Everyone
From: Alexis Michaels
Fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again
To: Shannon Moore
From: Jeff Hardy
Last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. My grandma hugged me and said I'm living up to the legacy. This is why my familys better than yours
To: Chris Jericho
From: John Morrison
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
To: Alex Shelley
From: Chris Sabin
Why am I in a dog kennel?
To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
It was for your own safety
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
I just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine
To: Shannon Moore
From: Shane Helms
So went to the condom shack today. Bought a condom that dresses your dick in a suit…tomorrow I'm fucking in style
To: Edge
From: Christian
Yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. I found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. I told him I was going to rock his world
To: Christian
From: Edge
And what did he say?
To: Edge
From: Christian
There were no words. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
You came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
To: Heath Slater
From: Wade Barrett (school setting)
My history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lecture and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material
To: Shannon Moore
From: Jeff Hardy
Hiding in clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
To: Rob Van Dam
From: Ken Anderson
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
To: Justin Gabriel
From: Heath Slater
Why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge
I just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen
To: Chris Jericho
From: Christian
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
To: Edge
From: Jeff Hardy
Subject: Matt Hardy
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins
To: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Edge, Christian
From: Alexis Michaels
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears…I think that involves you guys
To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant
To: Chris Sabin
From: Alex Shelley
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me
To: Edge
From: Matt Hardy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons – this is literally the night of my dreams
To: Evan Bourne
From Wade Barrett
I taped Justin and Heath's heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors
To: Edge
From: Christian
You kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
To: John Cena
From: Randy Orton
Tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8…it'll only be about 15 minutes…but I think that's plenty of time for a drinking game. Key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
To: Randy Orton
From: John Cena
Fuck yes. Lets make bingo cards
To: The Miz
From: John Morrison
4 feet of snow. Teaching the cats how to snow swim. Throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens
To: Alexis Michaels
From: Matt Hardy
Woke up this morning with a massive hangover. Walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a Julie kim sign…need answers
To: Matt Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
Yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your business…
To: Ken Anderson
From: Rob Van Dam
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit
To: Christian
From: Chris Jericho
We drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer
To: Matt Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
Subject: Chris Jericho
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often
To: Wade Barrett
From: Justin Gabriel
I cant talk right now. We are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
To: Christian
From: Edge
Dudeeeeee, I ordered strippers for my party
To: Edge
From: Christian
I ordered a moonbounce
To: Christian
From: Edge
Fuck, you win
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
To: The Miz
From: John Morrison
3some
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
You're right, stupid question
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Matt Hardy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option
To: Rob Van Dam
From: Ken Anderson
Dude are you gonna smoke tonight? My day was shit and I wanna get high
To: Ken Anderson
From: Rob Van Dam
Worker bees can leave…even drones can fly away…the queen is their slave
To: Rob Van Dam
From: Ken Anderson
Nevermind…I'm on the way
To: Shane Helms
From: Shannon Moore
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic
To: Matt Hardy
From: Edge
Hey man your outta milk
To: Edge
From: Matt Hardy
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?
To: Matt Hardy
From: Shawn Michaels
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find
To: Shawn Michaels
From: Matt Hardy
So glad I found your sister
To: Christian
From: Chris Jericho
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter! …how many u want?
To: Chris Jericho
From: Christian
All of them
To: Evan Bourne
From: Justin Gabriel
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
To: John Morrison
From: The Miz
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma
To: The Miz
From: John Morrison
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape"
To: Alexis Michaels
From: Jeff Hardy
Bring the vodka
To: Jeff Hardy
From: Alexis Michaels
I thought we were going to mcdonalds…?
To: Alexis Michaels
From: Jeff Hardy
We are