Eh, I gave up on this fic. I just got a spontaneous idea for another one, called Catalyst. I'll just continue this when I feel like I have the chance.
But if you wanna make me type some more, you can be all creative, and imagine that Elena tells Reno, he blows up but agrees to bring down ol' crazy-ass lady, and then they go on a 007-like mission to save the world. There's a fight scene in one of Julia's studios, and random porn stars are killed.
In the end, as Grandma dies from a bleeding stab wound to the stomach by a stiletto heel from the now cross-dressing Rude, she tells Reno she's sorry, and that she shouldn't have taken that much morphine when giving birth to his mother.
Reno ends up hooking up with Julia in the end.
Elena's fingers get broken by Carlo, the other guy.
Rude is now known as Jenny Jiggles, a drag queen at the local drag club.
Tifa died in a tragic bungee jumping accident. Well, not quite an accident. Reno remembered she used him so he cut the cord, and she fell to her death in a pool of piranhas deliberately set free there.
Chocobo-haired Cloud is now a postal worker.
Tseng quit the Turks and is now a professional male pornographic star.