Warning: One large pile of crap ahead of you. Just lettin' ya know.

Disclaimer: Me no own Invader Zim. Me too stooopid to think smart stuff.

Chapter 2: Riveting Inner Monologues

~Zim~

The Dib-beast has found a way to infiltrate my head. He's in there, all the time. I think this is a part of another one of his idiotic plans to stop my inevitable world conquest. Yes, that's it. Now how do I stop him?

"Master! What's wrong with your head? Why you so pink? PINK LIKE A PIGGY!"

"Shut up, GIR," I growl at the incompetent machine. I think it's gotten twice as annoying in the past few Earth years. But I have to admit he's made it easier to be the only alien on this hunk of dirt. NO, ZIM NEEDS NO ONE! NOO OOONE!

I step into the toilet in the kitchen, falling into familiar Dib-plan-ruining routine. I won't let him get away with whatever he is doing to me. He will pay. He will suffer or at least I'll make him feel like this too, all icky and mushy. It's not a pleasant feeling and his uncomfortableness will please me.

"Computer!" I yell, waking the sleeping giant, "I need to know everything about those disgustingly foul things hyumans call 'emotions'."

"Ughh, whyyyy? When did you start caring about how humans feel?"

"Be quiet, I have a plan for the Dib-stink!"

~Dib~

I have Zim exactly where I want him, or well, close enough. I loved the way he couldn't even look at me. Heh. Soon my plan will succeed, he'll never take over the Earth while I'm here.

He's never looked so confused, so lost. He doesn't know what to make of my sudden advances. He's used to violent, angry, hateful Dib. What will he think of cocky, in-his-face, flirtatious Dib? I've already seen some of his reaction; pulling away from me, eyes darting around afraid to look at me, he tried not to flinch when I invaded his personal bubble, but you could tell he wanted to.

I think this is the best plan I've had yet, I'm gonna mess with his head until he can't stand it. Alien scum, hmm, I didn't know aliens blushed. Especially that smug, little shit. That doesn't matter, all that matters is winning this long drawn out battle, finally.

Now, Dib, this isn't a time to be triumphant, you still have a long way to go. I know, I know, can't you just let me bask in the moment for a little longer, brain? No, we have work to do, Zim's slight reaction wasn't enough. It didn't last long, we have to make him feel like that all the time, we have to drive him insane, even more insane than he already is. Heh, who's the crazy one? Refereing to yourself as 'we', psycho. I don't think these crazy internal monologues are really a boost to my sanity.

~Zim~

Stupid hyumans and their stupid emotions! Why can't they just be calm, cool, and collected like Irkens. We are well trained machines with emotional walls of steel. STEEL! Displaying emotions as a Smeet was a sign of weakness and being weak is worse than being short. And, thought I loathe to admit it, I am slightly vertically challenged.

Okay, back to emotions. Why are there so many? I'll never be able to find one that will push Dib over the precarious edge of sanity he's perched on. Then I'll leave him to the Earth authorities and they'll drag him off to a loony bin.

And, these contact things! Why did he get them? I think he glasses looked fine, I don't even notice them anymore. He must have put a lot of thought into this plan, going so far to even change his appearance.

WAIT! This one! I've heard of it before, it's that emotion that makes hyumans go all icky and clingy and attached. Love. Could I make Dib... love... me? Then I could break his heart, that would be a worthy defeat. He will be so depressed he'll stop trying to ruin my unstoppable world conquest!

It sucks, but yeah. I felt I should get a chapter out. This is supposed to explain whats going on a little. It does, right?

Sometime in the next week or so I'll have an actual chapter with some plot development, maybe.