A/N: Welcome to the second chapter to this...I can't call it a story. It doesn't deserve such a title. Well, let's get this going.
FLAMERZ BAK OFF OK. mi engish is fine
No. No it's not.
u dnt hav to b a bytch about it u fukkin homos.
I prefer the term 'prep', thanks.
if u lik bella i sed not 2 red cuz u wuld be offenced.
I need some defence, dammit! Cover her, cover her! Oh, Bella fans have been offenced! That's got to hurt.
i red dis book a lot of tims i fink i no der names.
If I'm correct, no you don't.
and wateva u say, DUNT DISS TARA GELSBIE. OK. SHE IS A FUKKING GRATE RITER
I'm not going to go there.
OK HERE IS CHAPTA 2.
I haven't even gotten onto the chapter and I want to turn and run. God give me strength...
XXXXXXXXXXXXX CHAPTER 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Wen i walkd in2 da house edward disapered and den appered at da piano (hez a vamprie he kan do that.) he storted 2 play Famous Last werds by mi chemical romans.
'mi chemical romans'! Oh my goodness! That's the best misspelling ever!
i started 2 sing in my beatifull voice "Wel i kno that i kan make u stay, wel den were iz ur heart? were iz ur heart?"
In your chest? Those Mi Chemical Romans, they sure have some deep and meaningful lyrics...
every1 gasped, even tho they were vampirs they didnt hav voices lyk me.
" You're so vain..." Ah, that's getting old. They do have voices, but I'm sure they don't have such a whiny and annoying voice like yours!
OUT of nowere they all jumped up nd tried to tak off my cloths.
Random vampires are random! What a nice way to treat a guest, I'm sure you would feel flattered.
"WOT R U DOING?" i creamed.
...*snicker*
deir eyes were red n they had all turned in2 savagez. den they stoppd and confused.
" Why is there a random whore in our house? What the hell is going on? Put your clothes back on!"
"Sorry Twila." edward sed. "sometimes wen we c some1 we kant resist we turn in2 beasts. it wnt hapen agen" puting bak on mi clothe.
If I read this correctly, they were taking her clothes off, now he's putting her clothes back on?...awkward wording...
"Itz ok a lot of ppl r attracted to me" i excplaned. they all understod.
Of course they did, Miss Sue.
"it must be ur blood" sed carlose in horrofied. "Beauty, u hav the most rare n exotic blood in all da world, evry vampir wil want to drink it.
Oh, brother. * Facepalm.*
itz much betta den that other gurls, wats her name?"
"Dat bytches nam is bella" sed jasper growling. Midnite hugged him
Oh, hello Midnite. You were very quiet back there.
so he wuldnt get 2 angry n apper in bellas house n strangle her wif 1 tuch of his finger cuz hes realli strong lyk da hulk.
" Behold the power of my finger, Bella Da Bych!"
"twila, i wnat u 2 marri me" sudenly screemed alise hu was a plebian.
She's a what? Plebian? Is she a bi-polar lesbian? That would explain the outburst...
edward rowred at her, furius n all protective n sudenly... he htransformed!
Into what, a truck? A fruit?
"OMFG NOOOO" i shouted cuz i dint want ne1 2 get hurt. eds shirt bursted opened wif mussels. his topazz eyez turnd pure blak with strengt n energy n he jumped at alice
I thought Jasper was ' da hulk'? What's this?
"TWOLA IS MARRING ME ALREADI" he sed wif his voice was booming n all da windows exploded n da glass rained down lik in dat avril laven video wer she punches da miror n da glass all flyes out around her.
Lovely description, Twila! Or Twola...Did you get a glass shard stuck in your head? No? Damn.
He storted 2 fite with alice to da death over me.
Did he lose?
"Guyz guys" i suddenly compromized "Guess wat srry im not a lebian."
What's with the 'guess wat'? If you're not a lesbian, why is it a surprise? You're supposedly dating Edward...
alice started 2 cry tearz of blood. "Y r her tears blood" i asked all curios
Because you're grammar is horrible, Twila.
"Oh no this is bad" said emet hu had been in da bathrom da hole time.
Oh, hey there Emmett! You're just in time for a pointless explanation!
"wen we cry our tearz r blood n its da blood of our victims, shez losin blood n now she wil be thirsy agen. RUN"
Good boy.
Alic tryed 2 jump at me and tare my flesh but i movd out of da way n she attakd rosemarie instead hu was prety but she waznt as prety as me n her throat flew open.
I can't help but picture her throat opening like a cupboard door, and blood spurting out...
n blood poured out everywere n alice ate it.
What? She ate it? That's some fast clotting blood there...
"Ohh mi satan" i said heartbrokn becuz i causd so much truble. edward jus laughed "its ok babe" he said nd kissed me for da 1st time!
Wow, Edward. Is this really the place for this? Come on, now.
(He had turned back from blak ed to white ed
Oh...Okay, then. Whatever you say.
(a/n HEZ LIK HOTSANHARU FROM FRUITY BASKET)
'Fruity Basket'! Ah, dear. This is so bad, it's funny!
n he was calm agen.) "Shez a vampir, shell just cum bak 2 life."
" She's just my sister. No big deal, it's not like I loved her or anything..."
so they sedeted alison n she fel asleep n rose came bak 2 lyf.
Watch out! Rosalie has come back to 'lyf' as a tree! Oh no!
we had berger king 4 diner
Because, that's usually what vampires eat. Duh!
bcuz i had 2 hurry. n then i went home thinsking of edword the hole time and how his flami hot lips felt on my.
On your what? Wait, I don't want to know.
his body waz so warm n i culdnt wate to c him agen.
Usually, all reanimated corpses are cold. Why is Edward so special?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPTA
The voice in my head read this with a German accent for some reason. ' End Of Chapta'. Am I the only one?