Family and Friends (including deceased uncles and American housekeepers)
Yes I know dads can be embarrassing and mums wrap you in cotton wool but when you have your whole family around it could get into quite a war zone…
Christmas is the perfect excuse for a gather up of your favorite MI6 agents and dodgy people who want to take over the world i.e. bad guys (and they are your favorite because they just happen to your family-no coincidences there my friends).
This section is all about those personal things that might freak you out e.g. suddenly fabulous Uncle Ian takes out a dagger and starts cutting the grilled vegetables made by a family friend called Yassen with a flame thrower… Yup this is the typical English family reunion…
What should you wear?
When you are asking this question think to your self am I a spy for the government? If your answer is yes, you should always go for the James Bond tux and if your answer is no…well dress normally…
*Just kidding*
There are a lot of occasions out there from school balls to 6 year old fairy tea parties to vampire proms. Dressing well is essential…
At Christmas time it's the same...
Your pot-bellied grandpa might wear a tent to conceal his midsection but apparently according to Herod Sayle's stylist no one looks good in a straight tent-like costume... Try wearing V necked cardigans, jackets with single buttons and go for straight legged trousers.
Your bottom heavy aunt might LOVE clingy skirts but according to Damian Cray's designer it's a big no-no! Don't forget to wag your finger when you tell her…
Try to choose darker colours for pants, big lapels and embellished necklines for tops and flared skirts…
But I am sure against all odds you just happen to be the unluckiest… Tripping on hem lines or showing your assassin family friend your Bart Simpson boxers, you can never get away with Christmas without a few deep scars of embarrassment and everyone shooting you… with stares. Yes here it is: What You Should Wear…the real version
First of all from experience I would like to say it is a bad idea to wear cheap flammable clothing at Christmas dinner while Yassen/any family member/friend who plays with flame throwers to entertain you unless you want to be rushed to hospital with minor burns and all the hair singed off your arms at 11pm on a snowy cold night…
N.O 1 Golden Rule of Alex Rider: never, ever wear cheap easily flammable pajamas and clothing while around fires- no, wait don't even buy them…
Okay then there's the problem of looking good. Say your cool MI6 dad and your caring nurse mum gave you permission to let your girlfriend/boyfriend come for the holidays…You want to impress them right? But somehow you always end up over dressing…hmm. I guess the light grey Levis and formal Billabong long sleeved shirt with red rose in mouth is a bit over the top but it could be worse...
A chicken suit
Some embarrassing socks your grandma knitted you
Superman costume
A tuxedo suited for men aged 50 and above
See what I mean…James Bond I admire you for looking great even after you climbed through a mine shaft, got shot at by your enemies and got dumped on your date. It's like you have a personal crew of make up artists everywhere you go…
Spies, we all have the same curiosity that gets us into life threatening situations and that curiosity might just take us where no man has ever gone before: wearing a dress (if you are a guy) while your girlfriend is here…this could seriously put her off. Your brave and courageous nature that helps you do your nation proud could also demolish any romantic sparks flying. So my suggestion is close your eyes and do lucky clothes dip. Then you won't have a migraine after choosing what to wear. Okay but if you accidentally choose the one that's stained with orange pulp too bad…s