Carol Singers (Are they as bad as people claim them to be?)
By Alex Rider
(I wrote this last night when Uncle Ian was 'out', I asked 'Out where?' and he just said 'OUTSIDE,')
Carol singers, they're the people that come around knocking on your front door and start singing randomly…Weather it's We Wish you a Merry Christmas or Deck the Halls people seem to find them ultra annoying (although I can't imagine why you don't want people to wish you a merry Christmas).
My friend Bob had always disliked Carol Singers…here's why:
They come at the worst moment possible i.e. when you are in the bathroom, when you are having a shower, when you think it's the pizza man, when David Beckham is about to score a goal etc.
Some groups sing badly but think they're really good and encourage you to sing along.
Some of the group members freak people out with ultra wide cheesy smiles that just make you take a step back and go 'WHOA!'
However I disagree, I mean how bad can a group of good-hearted amateur singers really be?
First of all, they don't carry guns like some of the people working for Mr Blunt sometimes do (including my uncle) and generally scare people with their blank expressions and chilled 'too cool' attitudes. I would personally go for the cheesy smiles any day.
Secondly they're not an all secretive totally ruthless association like Socrpia which stands for something like Sabotage, CORruPtion, Intelligence and Assassination. I mean what can Carol Singers stand for? Worst case scenario: Corrupt Strawberries. Plus you can make heaps of things from Corrupt Strawberries, things like: milkshakes, ice cream, toppings for a pavlova, yoghurt or even sweet pizza…
Another example would be that Carol Singers don't just crazily ask a random 14 year old to risk their life to serve their country. No threats like: 'if you don't I'll cancel your visas' or 'just take a look around and just treat it like a holiday'. Carol Singers are people who DON'T think about nuclear bombs or spying on rich maniacal people, they just sing…badly sometimes but come on, after you've been chased by 2 guys on motorbikes with a large cheese wire I doubt you really mind a few wrong notes.
In conclusion Carol Singers aren't all that bad. Really. This is the part where I say about how my experience as a spy has changed me…(sniff sniff) I know you hate Carol Singers ruining your peace and quiet but have some sympathy for General Alexi…He had to deal with people who come by plane and asks for more money.
N.O 3 Golden Rule of Alex Rider: Never ask bad guys for more money because that'll just get you submerged with crocodiles or 'dealt with' by their sidekicks…So who wants an extra $100,000 now?
Carol Singers are way better…by a long shot.