a/n: OMG SOZ I TOOK SO LUNG 2 UPDATE. i kant realli say why but if u want tu know den msg me nd i'll tell u dat i had an emegency nd almost died from sallowing 5 bottles of aspirin lol.

I don't get why you find that so funny.

LOL GUEZZ WHAT, TU ALL OF U PPL WHO SAY DAT IM DUMB, MI PSYCOLGY TEACHER TOLD ME 2 IGNORE U

You're in 'psycolgy'? Haha, you almost had me there...

becuz ur just playing mind gamez 2 tri to make me fell bad abot miself. i am not da losser in dis situaton!

Okay, I can't say anything against your therapist.

neway PREEPS STOP FLAMONG, gothz tanx for da good stuff, MCR ROX!11 666

CHAPTER 9

Recap from Chapta 8: "I want to kill Bella becuz ..."

When did this happen? Last time I checked, last chapter was Twila being a slut to get information out of a creepy man by the name of Hamez.

"We kan help u wif dat." I said sexily.

"Muy bean." (C IS DAT SPELLED WRUNG.)

If he's showing you a new type of bean, then no. But if you're trying to say 'very good' in Spanish, then yes.

"I'll c u at dawn"

Why does this remind me of an old western movie?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I woke up again that morning I was ready to kill Bella.

Because I'm always up for killing someone in the morning.

It was dawn and Hamez had packed all of da supplies for killing. Eddie woke up and opened his eyez which were the same as mine.

Yes, yes. We know, you established this in the first chapter.

We put on our makeup (he had on white foundation, black eyeliner, and dis fake blood stuff that goes on ur face. i had on purple eyeshadow, lots of blakk, and drak lipstick.) Hamez tried to watch us get dressed but I told him that if he didn't fuck off I wouldn't help him kill that little bytch.

Are you sure Hamez isn't 'carlose' in disguise?

So I didn't go 2 school but the preppy prinzipal was too scared to call nd ask why.

He's scared of you because you cried? I don't think that he's scared, I think he hasn't called because you dropped out!

Ed didn't go eiver. I suddenly remebered Midnite and knew she would want 2 be involved too but she was on her honeymoon with Jaspa who I had told to love her or else I waz never gong to talk to him agen.

That relationship is doomed to fail.

While we were leaving secretely to Bella's house, I got sad becuase Ed and I didn't have a honeymoon. I started to cut my rists a little on da way there and I saw dat Ed looked worried.

What was all that in the bath tub that one chapter, then? I thought that was the honeymoon.

When we got there Hamez borke into the house and we went upstares to Bella's room. The whole thing was pink nd it reminded me of Roslyn's room. I storted 2 cry all hot and angsty because that's where I had caught her with my husband. I cut my rists some more but Hamez said "Shhh, we can't let her no we are at her casa."

" Si, Amigo, we can't let her know were in her Casa because we are paedophiles."

She was sleeping all preppy nd there were posters of Ed on her walls. I ran over and tore them down wif my long, black nails. She was dreaming abot Ed and he started to get angry becuz he hated her.

How could she know that? I thought that was Eddie's power, and he can't even read her mind! Freaking Sue.

"Ok are u ready?" Hamez whimpered. "Here Tila you can take this sword.

Sword of doom!

Eddie kan have the needle, itz full of cyanide."

And the needle of uselessness.

Well I was sad becuz I had alwez wanted to inject myself but I didn't say neithing because I knew they wuldnt understend. I storted to cry tears of blood and Ed gasped and started crying also with me.

"Don't tell me . . . . ." he screamed wif depths of depression and pain in his voice.

You're trying to kill someone while they are sleeping. Screaming is a big no no!

"Dat ur SAD shes going 2 die?" "No you fukking retard. I'm sad because there are so many things dat I want in life but evry1 only cares about my bodi!"

"It's not ur fault that u'r beautiful." He cried sexily hugging me. Hamez got scared becuz we were being loud but Beela didn't wak up.

Yeah, right!

Suddenly we killed her.

You can't suddenly kill someone when you're planning to kill them. There's no surprise in that.

"Thank satan she's gone." we all said in unicorn.

Unicorn: " This is awkward."

Her body disintergrated into her bed which was all wet with blood.

It takes years for a body to disintegrate, dear.

We ate her bed so there would be no evidenze (lol geddit like evinezenze.)

You ate her bed? That's really messed up, guys.

And left before her mom could wake up.

She's in Arizona, you poof!

When we got to da door there was someone blocking it suicidally.

What is with people doing things suicidally?

"CARLIZ?" we all scremed at once.

Who the flipperdoodle is Carliz?

"Yes I can't take it anemore." he said breathing all crazy. He was looking at me! Edward put his hand around me like protection. "Why are u here dad? GET OUT." His eyes started 2 rage.

I thought 'carlose' was his dad? Oh wait, he's adopted. You mean...Carliz is his biological father? Aww, family reunion!

"I'm here to take Tqila. I am gong to make her my bride. And we will live in da darkness forevamore hahaha!"

For...forevermore? Really?

he laughed evilly in a gothic voice that I suddenly realized was sexy. Then I sterted to think.

That's a first.

"Wait now." I kommanded when Ed was about to kill Calile. DARKNEZZ FOREVERMORE?

Why the random caplitzation of 'Darknezz Forevermore'?

I thought beginning to have a mind change.

...Maybe you'll be more intelligent?

"Mebe that would be good for me you know? Because I need a vampir who can kepp me gothikally satisfied nd stuff."

You want to be raped by a man twice your age? Never mind, that 'mind change' just made you more stupid.

EDWARD WAS HEARTBORKEN.

He was 'HEARTBORKEN', very 'heartborken', people.

He satired to scream at the top of his lungs as black venemoos blood poured out of him. When a vampere gets ejected by da person that they truly love, there body storts to spazz all explosing like.

...Tara-logic?

I was misterious so I didn't let you know what was gong on in my thoughts lol.

Haha! That's so funny! Not.

"Yeh dat sounds like a plain." I said sullenly joyfully to Carlise.

How can you be both sullen and joyful at the same time?

He was surmised that someone like me would want to be with him.

Doesn't surmised mean to make a guess on something without sufficiently conclusive evidence?

Everyone in the room screamed in surprise. "Plz plz just tell me what I did to make you want do leave me." said Ed having an ellipictic sezre on the floor.

" Please-" Twitch. " Tell me what I-" Gurgle. " Did wrong!" He starts to choke on his own tongue.

But I didn't say anything still even though he was crying all too sensitive.

He's have an epileptic seizure! Get medical attention!

"Ok." I finally gasped at Hamez. "Please just go along wif this. You'll see da true intestions of my plan soon."

Carlise: " I can still hear you."

And I made him take Ed away. And then I went with Carl who was like "I'm so glad that u've made such a good choice," cackling all satanikally. We went 2 his house (STFU WE DIDNT EVEN DO ANTHING YET U FREAKIN PERVS.) And I knew what I had to do.

Gross. Like, really, really, really gross.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX END CHAPP 9 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX