Ambyr approached the entrance to Viridian Forest. It looked dark and foreboding, yet Ambyr wasn't even a teensy bit frightened, because she was the coolest person ever!
A man was standing behind some type of information kiosk in front of the entrance to the forest. He was handing out maps to everyone who entered.
"Better be careful in there," he said to Ambyr as she approached. "Viridian Forest is like a maze! You'd better take a map!" He handed her one.
"No thanks," Ambyr laughed. "I have an excellent sense of direction, and have never gotten lost before." This was neither believable nor impressive, especially considering this was the first time Ambyr had even left Pallet Town, but whatever.
"Oh well," replied the man. "Suit yourself. I just hope no one has to go in there and search for weeks to find you."
Ambyr's ego didn't allow her to hear this warning, so she proceeded into the forest.
She had run into several weak Pokemon and defeated them with Mew, but she didn't want to catch any of them. Mostly, she had seen Caterpie, Weedle, and other things like that. She had bought ten pokeballs several days before she left on her journey, and she only wanted to catch cool, cute, and beautiful Pokemon.
"I want to find a Pikachu!" she cheerfully exclaimed to herself. Because, y'know, talking to yourself like that is what sane, normal people do. She began to meticulously search, hoping to find one of the electrical rodents before she left the forest.
After an hour of searching, Ambyr still hadn't found a Pikachu, which she found quite surprising. She knew they lived in Viridian Forest, and if she were to see one, it would obviously instantly deem her a worthy trainer and want to come with her.
"Oh my good golly gosh!" exclaimed Ambyr. "Where are those Pikachu?"
All of a sudden, she heard a noise behind her rustling in the underbrush, causing her to swiftly turn around. That's when she saw it- a Pikachu! What a freakin' coincidence! Ambyr knew that she would find one!
Ambyr dashed after the Pikachu. "Wait, Pikachu! Come back! I want to be your totally awesome trainer!"
After about ten minutes, Ambyr had somehow lost the Pikachu, despite her totally amazing tracking skills. How that could possibly happen was beyond comprehension. In addition, she was no longer on the walking path, and had no idea where she was. Ambyr was completely lost in the middle of Viridian Forest! Oh no!
"This is horrible!" exclaimed Ambyr. "You would think they would give out maps of the forest or something like that to prevent people from getting lost. Why do they not do that, I wonder? I totally would have taken one if they had!"
The situation wasn't a complete loss, Ambyr thought to herself, because she had expert survival skills. She had never even so much as camped out in her back yard before, but whatever. Ambyr is super cool and knows everything! She decided that the first thing she should do is make a fire!
Four hours later, Ambyr was getting ready to go to sleep. For some reason, she hadn't been able to make a fire, as hard as she had tried. How weird was it that she couldn't do it? The sun had set an hour ago, and she was still lost. She laid down in the pile of leaves she had gathered. They were scratchy, wet, and mushy- not at all like her soft, super-expensive silk sheets on her bed at home.
Why was she lost? She was the best at everything! Hmm… Obviously, there must be some kind of bad guy or problem only she could solve or defeat, and random coincidence had brought her to the middle of the forest to stop it! Yeah, that must be it! Ambyr would try to find whatever it was once she woke up at sunrise. She laid her head down in her slimy, gross leaves and fell asleep.
"Hey! Hey you! Are you okay?" said a voice, causing Ambyr to wake up.
The sun had already risen. Ambyr opened her eyes to look at this stranger. She hoped it was Eric, coming to find her to tell her how much he loved her!
She opened her eyes. It was only a bug catcher. Her heart sank.
"Are you lost?" he asked her.
"No, I am not lost!" Ambyr snapped, pulling clumps of muddy leaves out of her hair as she stood up. "I am waaaay too pretty, cool, and skilled to get lost!"
"Oh, um, ok," replied the bug catcher, slightly taken aback by the douchiness of this stranger. He was just trying to help. "Well, if you are lost, I'm going to Pewter City, so you can follow me if you want."
Ambyr began thinking to herself. She definitely wasn't lost, but this guy probably was, even though he knows where he's going (which, by definition, isn't being lost, but… Sue logic). He probably needed help getting out of the forest!
"I'll go with you as your escort out of the forest," stated Ambyr heroically. "I'm the best trainer in the universe, so you don't have to worry! I'll get you out of this forest safely!"
"Um, ok. Whatever," he replied. "Let's go. My name's Tom, by the way."
The two of them began walking northward. After about twenty minutes, they were back on the walking trail.
"So, what's your name? Where are you from?" asked Tom, tired of the awkward, angry silence from this girl who desperately needed a shower.
"Well," began Ambyr, doing that Sue thing where they close their eyes and begin to over-explain, "my name is Ambyr Superia. I am sixteen years old, and I am on my journey to win all eight Kanto badges, beat the Elite Four, and become the champion. I am from Pallet Town, and everyone there loves me and thinks I'm totally cool. Everyone who has ever said even one word to me I consider my friend; it's totally not because I have no real friends though! I am travelling with my super cute and rare started Pokemon, Mew, to challenge the Pewter City gym leader and obtain the Boulder Badge. I…"
Ambyr continued on like this for several more minutes. Tom regretted asking her anything. The awkward, angry silence was preferable to this bullcrap.
"Oh look, we're here," said Tom with a sigh of relief.
They exited Viridian Forest and went their separate ways. Ambyr took her first steps into Pewter City.
"Alright!" she exclaimed with a determined grin. "Now to go get that Boulder Badge!" She struck a super cool pose!
Everyone stared at the weird, dirty-looking girl striking a goofy pose as they walked by.