Ambyr, the coolest and most beautiful trainer in history, was still engaged in a vicious battle deep inside Mt. Moon with another trainer. Her Vulpix (which is female, regardless of what that jerk Nurse Joy says) defeated the other girl's Bulbasaur easily with its Flare Blitz attack. Her beautiful Vulpix, however, was defeated by the girl's stupid, ugly Clefairy that Ambyr totally wasn't jealous of. Now, each of them has one pokemon left. Which one of them will win?
"Duh, I'm gonna win!" exclaimed Ambyr while rolling her eyes. "What kind of dumb question is that?"
"Um… Who are you talking to?" asked the other trainer.
"No one!" angrily screeched Ambyr. "Now, Mew! Use Mega Kick!"
"Mewmew mew…" Mew uttered before striking at Clefairy. (Translation: "Oh my gosh, shut up…")
"Clefairy, dodge it!" the other trainer, who was much less pretty than Ambyr, ordered her pokemon.
Clefairy narrowly dodged Mew's brutal attack, causing it to shatter a nearby stalagmite.
"Good job!" exclaimed the other girl. "Now, Clefairy, use Meteor Mash!"
Clefairy obeyed, viciously striking Mew with its powerful steel-type attack. Mew went flipping backwards, eyes clenched shut in pain, though it was still floating.
"Stop losing!" Ambyr screamed at Mew. "Let's see it dodge this! Use Aura Sphere!"
Once Mew regained its bearings, it launched a sphere of aura energy at the girl's Clefairy, injuring it severely.
"Clefairy…" it sighed dizzily.
"We're not done yet!" exclaimed the girl. "Clefairy, use Metronome!"
Clefairy began wiggling a finger back and forth.
"What's that supposed to do?" Ambyr snorted condescendingly.
"Clefaiiiii-ry!"
All of a sudden- BOOM! Clefairy's Metronome caused it to use a cave-rattling Explosion. There was smoke and debris everywhere, completely obscuring the battlefield.
"Mew? What's going on?" Ambyr managed to sputter between coughs.
When the smoke cleared, both pokemon were unconscious.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Ambyr.
"It's a tie!" said the girl.
"No, I won!" cried Ambyr. "I have to win!" She returned Mew to its pokeball.
"It was a good battle," cheerfully replied the girl as she withdrew her Clefairy. "My name's Janice. That was fun! We should battle again sometimes!"
Ambyr didn't respond, and instead fell to her knees with a blank, despondent look on her face. How could she not win? What was going on? She always won!
"Um… Okaaay, bye," said Janice with a wave as she continued towards Cerulean City.
Ambyr remained as she was for another hour or so, until her ego could convince itself that she had won and was awesome. She cheerfully leaped to her feet and struck her super cool battle pose.
"Alright! Let's go to Cerulean City!" she happily exclaimed.
After awhile, Ambyr finally emerged on the other side of Mt. Moon. It's a good thing she is an expert at spelunking, otherwise she could have been stuck in there forever!
Ambyr merrily skipped into the entrance of Cerulean City, fully expecting everyone there to tell her how amazing she was! After a few minutes, she found the Pokemon Center and walked inside in order to heal Mew and Vulpix.
A few minutes later, she exited the Pokemon Center, her pokemon fully refreshed and ready to go! She had gotten into another argument with the nurse about Vulpix's gender, but what the heck did that highly-trained nurse know? Ambyr knew everything!
She determinedly walked down the street towards the Cerulean City Gym, prepared to completely crush the gym leader, Misty, and win the Cascade Badge! Ambyr was so excited. Isn't everything in this story exciting? LOL! "Exciting" is my favorite word!
Ambyr boldly swung open the doors of the gym.
"I'm here to challenge Misty!" she declared with a confident grin.
"Oh, sorry, she's not here right now," calmly replied one of the junior trainers.
"Wha-?" exclaimed Ambyr, an anime sweat drop appearing on the back of her head.
(Author's Note: Isn't it sooo awesome writing stupid anime sweat drops into a story, which no real writer would do? Also, isn't it so cool how I can clarify things with an author's note instead of just accurately describing it in the first place? Can you imagine if real authors broke up the action in a story with notes like this? LOL!)
"Yeah, she's up at the cape doing something," replied the junior trainer.
"Then that's where I'll go!" exclaimed Ambyr. "Instead of waiting like a normal person, I'll go find Misty! I have to win that Cascade Badge!"
Ambyr swiftly dashed out the door, intent on finding Misty and winning that badge!
An hour-and-a-half later, Ambyr had finally found how to get to Cerulean Cape by taking Routes 24 and 25. No, wait, I mean she knew that was how to get there, she just frantically wandered around Cerulean City for so long because she just felt like it. Ambyr totally knew where to go, because she was a geography expert, and she knew Cerulean like the back of her hand, even though she had never been there before! Isn't she awesome?
Ambyr began walking across the bridge onto Route 24. Just then, however, she saw someone walking the opposite way towards the city- it was Eric! Obviously, he had come looking for her to tell her he loved her and that he thought she was totally hot!
"Hey Eric!" Ambyr sweetly greeted him when she got closer.
"Oh, it's you," replied Eric in a disinterested tone. Was this creeper stalking him?
"So… What are you doing in Cerulean City?" she asked him, trying to prod his confession of love and total devotion from his lips.
"I came to see Bill about something," replied Eric, who really wanted to get out of this conversation. "He lives in a house up on the cape, and he's the one who created the PC Storage System."
"Oh, I know that!" exclaimed Ambyr. "I totally knew that! I mean, Bill! C'mon! He's like, the greatest! Well, not as great as me… But… Yeah! I'm totally going to see him! You wanna come?"
"Uh, no," replied Eric, who was visibly weirded out at this point. "I just met with him. Good luck with, uh, whatever it is you're doing." He then left.
Ambyr's heart sank. "What's so great about this Bill?" she muttered to herself.
She then began running towards Bill's house, though she still wasn't trying any more parkour moves, which she could totally still do.
"I'll meet this Bill, and maybe I'll figure out how to make Eric admit he's madly in love with me!" she exclaimed cheerfully.
After awhile, she arrived at Bill's house. She swung open the door and entered the house, striking her super cool pose again.
"Hey Bill! I'm here to visit you!" she boldly declared.
"Why did you just barge in to my house?" Bill angrily demanded.
"Because, I'm a totally awesome trainer and stuff, and, like, um, Eric was here, and, uh… PC storage and… stuff," she replied.
"Oh, you know Eric?" he asked with a surprised look on his face.
"Oh yeah," replied Ambyr with a grin. "He's my boyfriend."
"Oh," replied Bill. "I didn't know he was gay."
"I'M A GIRL!" screeched Ambyr angrily.
"Oh!" exclaimed Bill, completely surprised. "Really?"
Ambyr pretended he didn't say that and that she hadn't lost her cool. "So, what do you do here?"
"Well," began Bill, excited to be explaining his work, even if it was just to this slightly creepy, scrawny, pale girl with a slight mustache, "I mostly tweak the PC Storage System, which, as you likely know, is used to store the pokemon of trainers worldwide."
"Uh-huh," yawned Ambyr, who didn't have a mustache, wasn't creepy, and was totally hot.
"I also like to breed rare pokemon," Bill continued. "I actually have some eggs over here." He gestured to a sort of incubator-like device, filled with five eggs.
He and Ambyr walked over towards the machine, which Bill opened.
"Would you like to see it?" he asked.
Ambyr, however, selectively tuned out the words "to see".
"Oh, yes, thanks!" she cheerfully exclaimed as Bill handed her the egg.
"Oh, wait a second, I left the stove on," said Bill. "I'll be right back." He then walked into another room, which Ambyr didn't notice because she was staring at the egg she believed Bill gave to her.
"Well, I really must be going, as I have to beat Misty and win the Cascade Badge. Goodbye," Ambyr said as she walked out the door. On the way out, she saw a ticket for the S.S. Anne, a luxury liner in Vermilion City, sitting on the table, which she took just because.
Ambyr put the egg in her bag, because it's totally not going to break in there, and headed back towards Cerulean City.
After she had left, Bill came back.
"Where'd she go?" he asked himself, looking around.
"Hey!" he exclaimed, looking at the still-open incubator. "She took my egg!"
Bill then called the police to report a fugly-looking, psychopathic kleptomaniac roaming around the Cerulean City area.
For someone who hates updates like this, I'm sure doing them a lot lately. Anyway, when I pointed out the anime sweat drop thing, I feel that suethors do that mostly because they don't realize that you can't write a purely text-based story within the same parameters of anime and manga, which, in my experience, is what they mostly draw from.
I guess I may as well do "'Sue's' That Pokemon?" while I'm already updating.
"Sue's" That Pokemon?
Cyndaquil/Quilava/Typhlosion
Cyndaquil is my favorite Johto starter, and, apparently, has become a favorite of suethors in recent years, which I found surprising. Back when Gold and Silver first came out, I picked Cyndaquil, while nearly everyone else I knew picked Totodile. (I still have the original save data, too. I always keep the same save file on my "main" versions.) When HeartGold and SoulSilver came out, however, multiple Sues began using Cyndaquil.
There are several reasons I have found that explain why Cyndaquil has become so popular with Sues. First of all, thanks to a little searching, I discovered that a character in the anime while Ash was traveling in Sinnoh obtained a Cyndaquil, which caused it to be exposed to the current crop of suethors, who are usually between 12 and 16; this helps explain how so many Mary Sues started using Cyndaquil. In addition, like so many other pokemon, the fact that it is a fire-type draws Sues to it. Finally, it starts off cute and cuddly, fulfilling that requirement for a Sue's team, but slowly becomes cool-looking and intimidating, covering everything a Sue looks for in a pokemon.
The vast majority of the time when a Sue has a Cyndaquil, as you probably deduced from my comment about HeartGold and SoulSilver above, is when their journey takes place in Johto and it is their starter. Other times, they will randomly receive it from Professor Elm during their journey (even if they're in Unova or Hoenn or somewhere like that) or they will hatch it from an egg, which is what I believe happened in the anime with the Cyndaquil I mentioned earlier.
Long story short, those are the basic reasons why Sues use Cyndaquil.
Here's one of the numerous ways to use Typhlosion in the games:
Ability: Blaze (I don't believe a Dream World Cyndaquil exists yet.)
Nature: Timid (+ Speed, - Attack) or Modest (+ Sp. Attack, - Attack) (Typhlosion has good speed and special attack going for it, a high special attack stat also being something Sues seem to trend towards when picking pokemon. Anyway, you need both of those stats to be high with the specific Typhlosion I'm showing you, so pick either of those.)
Item: Anything to help protect you from Water, Ground, and Rock attacks, which are very common. Air Balloon, Charti Berry, Passho Berry, stuff like that.
EVs: 4 Defense/252 Sp. Attack/252 Speed (Pretty much the standard for special attackers, which is the type of Typhlosion I'm showing you.)
Moves: -Eruption (If you use this, go with a Timid nature. The goal is to hit your opponent with this before they can hurt you, keeping it at full strength. Any other decent, non-physical fire attack works too, such as Flamethrower or Overheat.)
-Hidden Power (Grass, Water, or Electric, in order to provide coverage against Typhlosion's big weaknesses. They're listed in the preferred order. If you're playing Black/White, you can check the type of your Hidden Power at the Mistralton City Pokemon Center. Alternatively, if you're using a sun team, SolarBeam is an option.)
-Focus Blast (Helps with Rock-types, as well as helps cover Hydreigon and stuff like that.)
- Really, this last slot's pretty open. You could use a status-inducing move, such as Will-O-Wisp, another special attack that isn't one of the above types (Hidden Power Water/Electric comes to mind if you're running a sun team and go with SolarBeam) or, if you choose a nature that doesn't lower attack, you could pick a physical attack (maybe replace one of the non-fire attacks with something else) and run a mixed set.
Typhlosion is a really diverse pokemon, and you have several good options, one of which I've presented, when using it. It really comes down to what type of team you have and what role you want Typhlosion to play.