Wide Ruled Kirio: The Very Young But Has To Be Called Old Door Thing!
Chapter 1
Big Castle, Bigger Batafire!
Chicken Miasma: Alright, will do.
I was kinda expecting more than4 reviews…
Petalburg…NO WAIT! Green Greens…yeah….
Ahh…Good ol' Green Greens.
Nice flowers.
Lots of...um…grass.
And a Kirby randomly whacking a pole to get a Horsetail…
"Well that was pretty damn USELESS!" Kirio yelled.
"Shut up." Kirbella replied, replacing her old hat with…A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT HAT! Difference? It now showed her ponytail! YAY!
…Which Kirio laughed at, by the way…
…And got beaten up by Kirbella's headbonking power…
And so Kirio and Kirbella went on…UNTIL…
"Hey! What' choo doin hangin around a chum like him?" a random brown Kirby that are supposed to be rip offs of Goombas said to Kirbella.
"Wait, we were supposed to appear before!" said the brown Cupid Kirby!
"Never mind that! Let's get em!" Said the brown Needle Kirby!
THE BATTLE STARTS! WOOHOO, 5 Waddle Doos!
Kirio used Hammer on the Goomba! He was totally pwned!
Kirbella used Headbonk on the flying Cupid Goomba! The Cupid Goomba was pwned also! ALRIGHT!
Then the Needle Kirby used his power to…um…COVER HIMSELF IN SPIKES! Then he rolled to Kirbella and poked her!
"Ow!" 2 damage was dealt to Kirbella!
Kirbella moved in front of Kirio!
"The hell, woman?"
Kirbella…SUCKED UP THE GOOMBA AND GOT THE NEEDLE ABILITY!
Which she promptly puked back out…4 damage!
Battle End yo! How easy was that? VERY EASY!
"Um…yeah…" Kirio said, looking up.
"By the way, we are still in the Mushroom Kingdom!" Kirbella said.
"Great…now WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?" Kirio yelled, scaring a Goomba away!
"We're in Green Greens Meadows."
"Eh? Whatever, Shiver Star and Neo Star is uncomfortably close…"
Pop Star, Shiver Star, and Neo Star crashed into each other! ONOES!
Luckily, Popstar was bigger than both, so they just created new places. Neo Star became an Island! And Shiver Star buried somewhere into Popstar!
"Oh my gosh! A dragon! Quickly, run after it!" Kirbella said.
AND LO, THERE WAS A BATAFIRE! Which was red and had flowers on its head!
"Oh god, it's a hippie cause it's wearing flowers! Run!"
We interrupt this chapter to bring you an announcement from Clario Products.
No offense to the hippies reading this. Please don't breathe fire on me….AHH! (Random Hippie blows fire onto Clario, who catches on fire.)
GAAAAAH! DAMN YOU, FU-pssssssh…
We interrupt this interruption to bring you an announcement from Mystic Products
I LAUGH AT YOU CLA-pssssssh…
We interrupt this interruption that interrupted the other interruption to bring you an announcement from some random person.
I LIKE PIE!
Now back to the show about Kirio…and that other person.
So Kirio and Kirbella ran like hell to the sleepy town of Green Greenburg!
A Waddle Doo greeted them!
"Hi! Watch out for the Bombar dropping bombs! And if you fall into the water, watch out for the Blippers!" The Waddle Doo said cheerfully!
"Ok, um…Let's look around!" Kirbella suggested!
So Kirio wandered around, slept for an hour in the inn, and eventually found the Mayors house!
"A pink house? Ok…" Kirio thought aloud.
So, being the freeloader Kirio usually is, he went through a gate to get a badge, and went inside the house!
INSIDE THE PINK HOUSE!
"HUH? Who's there? Huh?" An old Koopa said!
"It's me! Kirio!" Kirio said stupidly!
"Kurny? A weird name, but oh well."
"IT'S KIRIO!"
"Right Kurny, don't be ashamed."
"SHUT UP!"
"My name is Kroops. I'm the mayor of the town, Kurny."
"…Screw it. OK KARPS! What can you tell me about the Diamond Crystal Star?"
"Fly man Cry Tall Stir? What?" Kroops asked.
"Hmm…When can you tall me a bet then Fly man Cry Tall Stir?" Kirio said hopefully.
"What can I tell you about the Diamond Crystal Star? First you need to go to Shinka Dinka Fortress and get the stuff! Here are two POW blocks. Use them against the monsters you fight!" Kroops replied.
"Thanks!" Kirio said.
"Shanks?"
"Never mind…"
At the Shop with Kirbella!
"I'll have some mushrooms, Honey Syrup…hmm…and that fake coin." Kirbella said.
"Here you go; your total is 359280583028597529 Coins."
"Eh." Kirbella said, handing over the major moolah.
"Thanks, here is your change." Said the shopkeeper, giving back 359280583028597527 coins!
"Yay!" Kirbella said after realizing she only paid two coins for 7 items. ANYWAY!
The two met up at the gate to Shinka Dinka Fortress.
"Let's go!" Kirio said. "I've got items that are useful against monsters!"
"Wait!"
"Huh?" Kirbella said. AND A WADDLE DEE WAS THERE!
He was like all normal Waddle Dees, except he had a lazy left eye, and a bandage where his nose should be. He was wearing a blue hoodie, and blue jeans.
"Um…Can I…um…well, my name's Waddle…and…um…never mind."
"Ok…"
Kirio started laughing! "WADDLE! HAAHAHA!"
Kirbella did a verb, slapping Kirio!
So the two went…somewhere…
And pwned the Koopas of hell… With various items ranging from Hammers, Inhale Ability, and…SWEET TREAT!
ANYWAY…
Shinka Dinka Fortress
"Mwahaha!" Kirio said, hammering a random Koopa.
"OWCHIES!" Said the Koopa! And it died and went to heaven…YAY!
"Ok, let's enter Shinka Dinka Fortress."
So Kirio and Kirbella threw random POW blocks at random enemies, who were randomly pwned by the random randomness.
Until…They came across….A GIANT ROCKY!
"THWOMP! I AM ROCKY!" Yelled the Thwomp!
"The hell?" Kirio said.
"GRR! QUIZ SHOW ACTIVATE!" The Thwomp yelled…Again!
And the background ripped apart!
"OMGWTF!" Said Kirio obviously confused!
And 'The Thwimpy Thwomp Show' background came up!
"Oh hell no…"
And the 6 contestants were…
Kirio, Kirbella, a Goomba, and….
"The hell? Clario? Kuigi? Waddle?"
"I HAVE NO REGRETS!" yelled Kuigi!
"I ran out of ideas for contestants, so sue me!" Clario said.
"I like quiz shows!" Waddle said.
"FIRST QUESTION! WHAT IS HIDDEN HERE?"
Beep! Said the button Kuigi pressed!
"I know! It's….A FIRE FLOWER OMGOMGOMG!"
"…NO! YOU'VE BEEN THWOMP'D!"
And a Giant Rocky fell on Kuigi, knocking all the sense out of his little green ass!
Beep! Said the button Kirbella pressed!
"I know! It's the stuff that the Thwomp is guarding!"
"NOOOOO! YOU GOT IT RIGHT! GAME OVER!" Said the Thwomp, as the background went back to normal, and promptly exploded, revealing a hole in the ground!
"Aaaaah!" Yelled Kirio, jumping into the hole!
And being the smart one, Kirbella floated down!
"Owch!" Kirio said, landing in the water!
So the two went separate ways, getting a Moon and Sun stone! And then…
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEORRRRRRRRRK!" Yelled a Golden Fuzzy! "WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOME?"
"Dude, you're like…talking in capitals…" Kirio remarked…
"SILIENCE! I CAN TALK IN CAPITALS BECAUSE I CAN!1111SHIFT+1! NOW YOU SHALL DIE WITH THE DYING OF DEATH AND OTHER DEATH RELATED SHIT!" The Golden Fuzzy yelled!
Battle Start! Oh crap on a stick!
Kirio smashed the Golden Fuzzy with a Hammer!
Kirbella tattled on Golden Fuzzy! "He is a Golden Fuzzy and he jumps on you!"
"What kind of useful advice is that!'?"
"Who said it was useful?"
The Golden Fuzzy summoned teh GROUP OF TEH DEADLY FUZZIES! ONOES!
Kirio used THE FORCE to… just kidding. He used THE INHALE ATTACK THAT IS LIKE THE FORCE to suck up all the Fuzzies, and spit them out at the Golden Fuzzy, machine gun style!
"AHHHH IT'S THE FUZZY GOODNESS!" yelled the Golden Fuzzy, being battered by, what, 20 Fuzzies? Then he exploded because…um…he can!
End Battle! Holy crap, it's the force!
Then all the fuzzies ran away like the cowards they are, but not before Kirio kicked one in the head!
Back at Green Greenburg Meadows!
"Ok, now we go to that strange rock…" Kirio muttered…
"Excuse me…" someone said!
And alas, Waddle was there!
"Um… well… I was waiting here for the chance to talk to you…and…um…OH PLEASE LET ME JOIN YOU! PLEASE! HOOKTAIL KILLLED MY FATHER AND I WANT REEEEEEEEEVENGE!"
"Waddle!" Kirio yelled, laughing!
"I guess that means yes?" Kirbella said.
"Wait, no, I-" Kirio started.
"Yay!"
VAREAAAAAHYAH!
Waddle has joined the bad ass party!
Name: Waddle
Gender: Male
Species: Waddle Dee
Waddle Dee can…um…blast a beam at switches to hit them from afar! Yeah, that sounds good…
Yeah…
"Waddle! You're dad is dead, and Hooktail will kill you 491438920375203 times as fast!"
"Hey Waddle! Say this to her…" Kirio whispered.
Just a Waddie Doo stepped up to Waddle, he yelled so loud that Kirbella was scared, "LISTEN! IF YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT, THEN FINE! WAIT FOR ME HERE AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHO THE DAMN WEAKLING IS!"
"Ok, ok!" Waddie Doo said, going back to the village, but not before kicking Kirio's ass in a quick fight! She went straight for the hammer!
So, after putting some damn stones in some damn pedestals, they reached Hooktail Castle!
Hooktail Castle
After flying over a damn broken bridge, and continuing after beating up 539583285923859328590238532593285032859328502 Dull Bones, Kirio and Kirbella and Waddle found a Black Box!
"Oh crap! No one touch it!" Kirio said!
"Open me! I'm filled with quiz shows!" said the box!
"How can a quiz show be in a box?" Kirbella questioned.
Waddle randomly picked up a Black Key and opened the box!
"Mwahaha! CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURSE! You can now hold R to turn skinny!"
"Um…" Kirio said, pressing the 7 Button.
"You idiot! Press and hold R! Press and hold R and be ashamed! EAT 4048240820 SANDWICHES, SKINNY! SUCK IT!" Yelled the box, disappearing!
"Where is the quiz show?" Waddle said, promptly being smacked by an Angel Kirby!
After dumb puzzles like throwing beams at blocks, and turning into a plane to fly, and flying on giant blocks, the trio found the treasure room!
"Sweet! Ok, everyone grab everything you see!" Kirio said.
"Oh my! I didn't know there was more than one thief here!" said a random mouse!
"I'm Ms. Mowz, thief extraordinaire!" it said, then it kissed Kirio and jumped off the 5 story window!
"Er…"
So, after cracking some more Needle Kirbies heads, they finally made it to the top, after finding a Sound Effect badge and putting it on!
"Ok, we are here…" mused Kirio.
"Ready for combat…" muttered Kirbella.
"AND HOOKTAIL IS RIGHT THERE!" Waddle yelled.
"Why are you fighting me? Damn heroes and their things for fame! LEAVE US DRAGONS ALONE!"
Battle Start! ONOES IT'S HOOKTAIL!
Waddle puffed a really huge beam, but failed!
Kirbella tattled! "Hooktail is a Batafire! OH NO, THE BOOK DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE!"
"Let me see that book… This book is 'The very useless information about enemies' book…" Kirio said.
Hooktail used STINKY BREATH! 3 damage to Kirio!
Kirio used OMG THE AUTHOR RAN OUT OF IDEAS SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S CALLED! Kirio became allergic to dragons!
"What the (sneeze) crap?" Kirio said, with an added sneeze if I may add!
Kirbella sucked up Hooktail (somehow) and spat him into the audience!
"I SHALL RENEW MY STRENGTH YES I SHALL AFTER I RENEW MY STRENGTH I WILL BE UNBEATABLE YES I SHALL!" Hooktail yelled, eating all of the audience members!
"Sweet! (sneeze) Fight in the audience!" Kirio said.
Kirio hammered Hooktail, making a cricket sound!
"Urp…ugh…I got food poisoning from eating a cricket…thinking about it makes me all woozy…" Hooktail muttered.
"What a weirdo…" Kirbella said.
"Die!" yelled Waddle, pulling off a perfect Beam Blast on Hooktail, defeating it!
Battle End! OMG Waddle did something useful!
"Darn my cricket weakness…GACK! ACK! BLARGH!" said Hooktail, spitting up a Waddle Doo, with an eyebrow!
"Ow…Waddle! Is that you? You've grown strong, my son! Standing up to Hooktail was great!" the Doo said.
"Wait, what's going on?" Kirbella asked.
"When I was a weak little Waddle Dee, I stood up to Hooktail. Just as I was about to deliver the final blow, I tripped and was eaten whole. I've been stuck for 10 years!" the Doo said.
"Now that we've defeated Hooktail, where is the Crystal Star?" said Kirbella.
"You mean this? I found it, and I played with it a lot…" the Doo said, holding up the Diamond Star.
"Yay! Waddly is back!" Waddle said.
"And that's mine!" Kirio said taking the Diamond Star.
BANANANANANN WAAAH! DA DA DA DA NAH LAH, PAH NAH LAH!
And so, Kirio, Kirbella, and their new partner Waddle, had conquered Hooktail Castle, and earned the Diamond Crystal Star. Waddly, Waddle's dad, was thought to be…well, the citizens of Green Greenburg, though his Game was over! After a touching (well, not really touching) re-union with father and son, the trio are ready to move on. But what lies ahead for our bastar- I mean heroes?
KirioKirbellaWaddleEnd Of Chapter!KirioKirbellaWaddle
Meanwhile…
"I wish I was back at the castle…" Peach said.
"YOUR WISH SHALL NOT BE GRANTED!" Twink, the star kid from Paper Mario said.
"…to dance at the Mushroom Ball…"
"DO YOU NOT HEAR ME?" Twink yelled.
"FLIES!" said Peach, swatting Twink into the ceiling.
"I HAVE FURY!" yelled Twink, and flew away.
Then the door opened, Peach took a shower, went to TEC…
"What is it now TEC?" Peach asked.
"I overheard your thoughts about Mushroom Ball. Dance!" said TEC, making a holographic Peach.
So they did fancy moves, such as:
The B Worm.
The L letrtic slide.
The A Cha.
The H hop.
"Ok, now type a message to Kirio."
A message later…
"Now go to your room, missy!" TEC yelled.
"You're one weeeeird computer." Peach said, leaving.
End of Peach Chapter
Meanwhile…
"My lord! Mario has been sighted! Hooray! Let us go now!" Kammy said.
"Wait…" Bowser said, eating lunch.
One hour, 5 pizzas, and 50 cokes later…
"Now we go…Um…yeah…Can we wait another chapter please?"
"THE GREAT MYSTIC SAYS: Okay!"
End of Bowser Chapter
Mystic's Notes: Phew! That's done for now!
Kirio: Hey, wait…what color am I?
Mystic: Red! Sheesh…
Disclaimer: I do not own Mario, Luigi….
Claimer: I own the Kirby versions, like Kirio and Waddle.
This is Mystic, reminding you to REVIEW!
Oh, and I'll start replying to reviews in the next chapter.
Secrets: Scene when it tells you what dances Peach and Holo-Peach do. Say the letters after The. First one who tells me what it spells gets a cameo in the story...somehow!