Wide Rule Kirio
Chapter 3
Of Blitz, Hit, So Gory! Part 1
Hey people!
The Great Chicken Miasma: Aww… You changed your name! Anyway, thanks for the idea of the Shadow Sirens being Broom Hatters!
Lordluffy07 of the Merry Go: Here! (Throws Green Clothes with Gray stripes) (Realizes what he threw) OH CRAP! Anyway thanks.
Flameboo: It's okay…kay…kay… Can't wait to see the normal fiction…Er, Halloween passed…I'm just not cut out for specials. Heh.
Let's begin the chapter! (By the way, Chapter Two was a bit shorter then I hoped. Hope this makes up for it.)
Claimer: I own Mystic, Kirio, Waddle, Kirbella, Kirby version of Flurrie.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Mario, Yoshi etc., and Metashadow. Metashadow belongs to MetaShadow. Yes, MetaShadow is an actual author.
Oh yes, and if Flowerstar is reading this, sorry for not answering the e-mails. TO THE CHAPTER! YAR.
Oh yeah. Read The Great Chicken Miasma's, Flowerstar's, Lordluffy's, and Yoshizilla's fan-fics. That'll make me happy.
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"Kirio! Please come visit us one day…even though you did nothing at all!" called Punio to the departing back of Kirio, Waddle, and Kirbella.
"And what about you, Madam Flurrie? Are you going with them?" The elder Puni asked.
"Yes, I have finally found my calling! I yearn for the lights on the sta-"
"YES! Er, I mean, so sad to see you go!" The Elder Puni said.
"You just want me to leave?" Flurrie asked.
"HELL YEAH! WE ALL HATE YOU!" yelled the Elder, and then all the Punis threw Kirio and crew out of the tree, into the pipe, in the pedestal (somehow).
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In the now renamed town (Thivesvile) Sewers!
"Well, you know what to do…" Kirbella told Kirio.
"Shut up."
SHIIIIINE!
FLAAAAAAAASH!
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!
BLING BLING!
"Well, I'm not scared of flashes anymore…" Waddle remarked.
Kirio kicked him.
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At Prof. Franklyidontgivadam's House!
"YO HO!!"
"Yeah?" Waddle asked, on the tips of his sneakers. RED ONES.
"Wait, I'm not done yet." The crazy Prof. replied. "YO HO HO AND A BOTTLE OF"
"Rum, yeah, whatever, my cake is in jeopardy? Hello? Cake? Ever heard of the sweet stuff?" Kirio yelled impatiently.
"Fine! The next Crystal Star is at the Blitz Hitz yo. How do you get there? HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? I'M A DAMN PROFESER, NOT A MAP PERSON GUY TRANSPORT THING! Besides, it's like a millimeter away from the sun." The Prof SMARTLY said. Note the emphasis on smartly.
"Go ask Don Piñata! He's a Chip! And he's full of candy! HE HAS TEH MONEY. GO YOUNG ONE." Kirio and company left. "No no, do not ask me for help…No. It is alright. May the Hammer be with you. Go already. Well? You want chips?"-
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At Don Piñata's Casino! Not some place named Game Corner!
"That's just wrong…" Kirbella remarked, watching Kirio play the slots and winning about 500 pieces of candy each time.
"Since when was playing a slot for candy wrong?" Waddle asked.
"…Shut up."
Just then, Mario went past!
"Mario, we should go to Prof. Frankly now!" Goombella suggested.
Mario nodded.
"I wonder if that Kirio guy knows about the warp pipe to Blitz Hitz." A green baby Yoshi thought aloud.
Kirio perked up at that comment.
"Hmm…a warp pipe, eh?"
"Hey, wait! If this is Thievestown, why is Mario here? Isn't he supposed to be in Rogueport?" Waddle asked.
Mystic walked by again yelling plot holes, then threw Waddle inside the slot machine.
"HOLY!" Waddle yelled.
Suddenly, a random Goomba appeared!
"GYAHA. PRESS THE A BUTTON TO JUMP!" it randomly yelled. Waddle pressed the Q button and exploded.
"Waddle! He obviously means this!" Kirbella said, pointing to a retro NES system!
"The retro-ness!" Flurrie yelled, body slamming the NES, which revealed a Warp Pipe. OMG.
Waddle jumped in the Warp Pipe even though he has 0 HP! No one followed, and turned skinny to break into Don Piñata's house!
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At Ruby Road!
"why are we here? Isn't emerald road to the right of emerald coast" metashadow asked.
Suddenly a Warp Pipe appeared out of nowhere, and Waddle popped out!
"…Hi?" Waddle said.
"omg omg" metashadow went.
Waddle hopped in the Warp Pipe again.
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At Don Piñata's Secret House!
Kirio walked in, with his hands in imaginary pockets, acting like he has a gun in it!
"Gimme the pass to Blitz Hits!" Kirio said, pulling out his giant hammer…OF DOOM!!!
"Get him!" Don Piñata yelled. Suddenly two blue and orange chips flew out of nowhere, aiming at Kirio with AK47s! Of course, they missed and shot books and pieces of money flying around and Waddle flying out of a Warp Pipe!
"Tony! And…I forgot youse name!" Don Piñata yelled. "Get a scope next time, will yaz? Anyway, what do you want, red…fat…piece of crap?"
"…I want tickets to Blitz Hitz!"
"Kayz. On one condition…z. Find my daughter, Londinz! She's probably with her bodyguardz, Franky! Finds herz for me, will yaz?" Don Piñata said!
"Um. Okay." Flurrie said, BARELY UNDERSTANDING WHAT HE SAID!...Z.
So, Kirio and crew went searching for London! Or Londinz, whatever Don said…Anyone understand what he said? A COOKIE TO THE PERSON WHO TRANSLATES HIS NEXT SENTENCE! Anyway, they searched at the Great Giggly Googly Boggly Tree,
"Oh my god! It's Flurrie! RUN!" The Elder yelled once she saw them.
They searched at Petalburg!
"OH MY GOD! IT'S A FAT PURPLE THING! RUN!" The greeting Waddle Dee yelled once he saw them.
They searched at Thievesville!
"Oh my god! It's some purple Kirby! RUN!" A Bandit yelled once he saw them.
"Damn Flurrie, you scare everyone to death!" Kirio remarked.
Flurrie replied "No I don't!" while slapping a Koopa for looking at her strangely.
Finally, they looked at the Thievesville Port!
"I swear Flurrie, if you scare off one more person… I'm gonna punch you in the face." Kirio muttered.
"It's not my fault I have such stunning beauty!" Flurrie said.
"Riiiight…" Kirbella said.
Finally, they found… Franky and London/Londinz!
"Hey London, your dad sent us to get you." Waddle said.
"…and he's like "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo ass" and stuff." London said to Franky.
"Hello? London? Or should I say…" Kirio said.
"Don't do it!" Kirbella said.
"LONDINZ!" Kirio screamed in London's ear!
"OH MY GOD I KILL ALL OF YOU!" London yelled, whipping a AK47 out and shooting like hell in the sky, probably hitting a plane!
"Told you not to say it!" Kirbella said to Kirio.
"What?" Kirio replied!
"Get away from me, you bitches!" London yelled!
Everyone hightailed it! Because everyone knows the rules in the Popstar Kingdom! Which are eating a lot and being round! But there's an unknown one… LISTEN TO THE PERSON WITH THE MACHINE GUN!
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Back at Don Pinata's Secret House!
"Well, we found your daughter!" Kirio said, walking in!
"Great! Where is she?" Don said!
"At the port. You expect us to bring her here? As if!" Kirio said back!
And then London walked in all mad and stuff!
"DAAAAAAD! Let me and Franky be!" London screamed!
Then Franky came in!
"BOOOOSS!"
"DAAAAAAAAD!"
"BOOOOOSSSS"
"DAAAAAD!"
"DAAAAAD! I mean, BOOOOSSS!"
"ENUFFFFF!!!!" Don screamed. " Londinz, Franky! Do whateva ya want! Weird red Kirby dude guyz! Take the freakin ticketz!"
"SWEEEET!" Waddle yelled!
"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?!" Flurrie screamed/asked!
"WE'RE JUST COOL LIKE THAT!!" Kirbella screamed/replied!
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After 5 minutes of screaming… At North Thievesville!
"Okay, is everyone here?" Kirio said!
"Yep." Kirbella said.
"Check." Waddle replied.
"Probably!" Flurrie replied.
"I'M LUCKY! HAPPY-GO-LUCKY MAKE LUCKY HAPPY!" Lucky screamed.
"…" went everyone there.
"….Kill him." Kirio commanded!
"AAAAAHHH! OH MY GOD! THAT HURTS! BUT I HAPPY-GO-LUCK-" Lucky was cut off when he was thrown into the water!
Now, after Lucky died, the party went onto the blimp, which was for some reason, shaped like a Blipper! Then, after 30 minutes of flying, they finally landed on Blitz Hitz, while killing 5 innocent people standing on the landing circle!
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At Blitz Hitz!
"We're finally here! Now, where's that Crystal Star…." Kirio said, looking around.
"OOOOH! A fighting arena!" Waddle said!
"What? Where?" Kirio and Kirbella asked!
"Right there! That place that says 'Blitz Hitz Arena'!" Waddle replied!
"Oh, that place!"
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Inside The Arena!
"Hey! It's a fighting arena!" Waddle said outloud!
"No, really?" Kirio said sarcastically!
"Yeah!" Waddle replied!
"…."
"Let's go see a match!" Flurrie suggested.
"Wait, but what about the Crystal-" Kirbella started to say while everyone dashed by her into the arena! "Star… Um… Wait for me!"
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Inside the Blitz Hitz Arena!
"Yeah! Go Kirbinator!"
"Whoo Kirbinator!"
"You suck Brown Kirba!"
"Kirio, we should really be looking for the Crystal Stars!" Kirbella said, as Kirio, Flurrie and Waddle watched Kirbinator own the Brown Kirba!
"Hold on…" Kirio muttered.
And then a Mr. Kibble came out onto the stage!
"Alright! I, the owner of Blitz Hits Arena Grubba, is proud to announce that the Rawk Hawk is coming out!" Grubba yelled!
"I AM RAWKIN CAUSE I AM THE RAWWWWWWK!" The Rawk yelled out while breaking the ceiling by falling out of the sky!
"Woahly crap!" Waddle exclaimed! Kirio kicked him!
Well he would have, if he wasn't talking to the manager to get a position as a battler!
"Okay, little… fat.. piece… red… thing… crap! You shall be known as the L33talizer!" Grubba the Kracko Jr. yelled!
And lo, Kirio is now THE L33TILIZER! Fear… his… l33tness! Yeah! Of course, it could've been something crappy like the Gonzales!
"Hey!" Mario said, whacking the narrator with a Hammer!
And so, Kirio and his partners went to kick people's ass with their l33tness! Bwaha! FEAR HIM! Until he got a message on his GBASPDSLITECOLORVIRTUALBOY!
"Wait! I got a message on my GBASPDSLITECOLORVIRTUALBOY!" Kirio- I mean L33talizer said, as he took it out!
"MeEt At ThE WaTeRiNg HoLe NaO oR yOuR dOg DiEs" the message said!
"ONOES MAH DOGGEH" Kirio said, running the hell to the bar, even though he doesn't have a dog!
"WHERE MAH DOGGEH FOOS" Kirio said in a drunken rage after drinking some apple cider!
"What the heck? How did he get drunk off Apple Cider?" Waddle asked!
Kirio hit him with a chair! MULTIPLE! TIMES!
"HEY! SHTOP BHREAKIN MAH CHAIRSH!" The bartender yelled, also in a drunken rage and dropping a Super Hammer! "CRAPSH!"
"YOINK!" went the Kirbella!
BA NA NA NAAAAH NA NAAAAAA!
KIRIO- DAMN IT, I MEAN THE L33TILIZAR GOT THE SUPER HAMMER, ALSO KNOWN AS THE HAMMER THAT KILLS LOTS OF THINGS CAUSE IT CAN!
And now, we stop our current program, with a commercial break!
Do you want to be COOL?
"Yeah!" A nerd said!
TOO BAD FOR YOU! DUN DA DO DA DE DA DE DA DOOOOO!
"…Jerk."
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After a LONG wait, the first part of this chapter is here. REJOICE MAN, REJOICE!
This is Clario, reminding you to REVIEW!