Note: Due to my improper planning, the event aforementioned in the preview at the end of chapter six, the 'birthday boy' has changed.
Poof Chronicles 2: The Dorkcepticons
Chapter 7: Race for the Finish
Twas morning is Detroit, and in a plant
Four teens and two plushies got read to chant.
One bespectacled girl was eager long before for this day, that with a BANG BANG BANG,
The sleeping ninja bot was awakened from recharge with a start, and his processor rang, rang, RANG.
"AUGH!" Prowl sprang up into seated position on his berth, panting, and looked at the scene before him.
Pen was holding up a wok and a ladel with a HUGE smile on her face. This expression was matched by all those present besides perhaps Kahemelion, who was sipping some Dr. Pepper, and half-awake due to being woken so early by her nutcase friend.
"Get up, motorhead!" Sari shoved Prowl in the arm. "You don't wanna miss your own birthday!"
"Birthday?" Prowl raised an optic ridge. He'd just been revived a few months ago through time travel dues ex machina bull-crappery. He hadn't even EXPECTED to have another construction date!
"Is there an echo in here?" Pen pushed up her glasses. "Come on, get your bumper up! WHOO~!" She ran off with Phantom and Thing, the three of them shouting and carrying on while she banged on the wok. "EVERYBODY UP! LET'S GET READY FOR SOME CAKE~! WHOO!"
Clive ran after here. "YOU OUTTA YOU'RE BLOOMIN' MIND! KEEP QUIET!" …ironic, no?
Sari took Prowl by the hand and got him out of berth, and soon they were both headed out the door into the living room. Kahmelion dragged her feet behind.
"WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION ABOUT IN HERE!" Ratchet groggily yelled as he entered the room. The other autobots soon followed. The teens must've been up all night preparing!
The plant was decked-out. ALL the stops were pulled out. Balloons, streamers, party hats, the works-not to mention all bought at Hogsmead and Diagon Alley- and heck, there were even fireworks in the TOILET.
Pen went into the little kitchenette the minions had installed somewhere between chapters 3 and 4. "Who wants breakfast~!" The nerd sang out all chipper and crap. "Ok, so we've got pancakes for the organics-techno or otherwise- and some hi-grade for the awesome-bots."
"Pancakes we spent hours slaving over and hi-grade we had to mortgage a small part of Glow Forest to afford enough of." Kahmelion added.
"KAHMELION!" Clive hissed. "It's not polite to say that!"
Sari dodged a wayward firecracker. "Let's just eat already! I'm starving!" she laughed.
"Let's get this party START-ED~!" And so Pen rushed to get all the plates. Less than a second later,
a CAGE dropped down from the ceiling, right on top of where she'd been standing. Everyone in the room jumped. Pen emerged from the kitchenette soon after, plates and barrels piled high on either her arms or being floated around by paper. "So, who all's hungry?"
"…Pen…" Bumblebee pointed at the metal cage. "…is…THAT part of the decorations?"
The girl paused and stared at the object, her eyes drifting up to the ceiling, and back. "Hm…no, the dungeon theme wasn't supposed to be until the Halloween Haunted House Party…and we didn't really plan to stay that long. Ah, well, my bad~!" And so she went to set the table.
They all laughed and joked and carried on nearing the end of the day. "And so I told him…I told him: THIS is the punchline, for ya!" Pen broke out, banging her fist on the table and everything.
They all erupted in more laughter.
"Ok, ok, I think the birthday chap should tell one!" Clive raised his glass.
"Um…" Prowl pulled down his pointy, colorful hat. "I don't really know any good jokes…"
"Come on, man!" Pen and Sari pulled their seats up to the ninja bot and stood up. "You gotta know at least ONE. JOKE, JOKE, JOKE, JOKE!"
"Ok, fine…" the ninja-bot paused. "Did you hear about the samurai who got his left arm and left leg cut off?"
…
"Don't worry, he's all right now."
They all chuckled. Bumblebee brushed some of the confetti constantly bursting everywhere off his shoulder. "Hey, that was actually pretty good. Maybe next time you can step up to a knock-knock funny!"
Sari bonked him in the back of the head.
"OW! HEY! What was that for?"
Prowl chuckled. "You know, this has been a pretty nice day."
"Pretty nice?" Pen rolled her eyes. "P-SHAW! We went to the zoo/amusement park/history museum/ Japanese themed NIGHT CLUB."
"And then YOU let all the animals out." Kahmelion reminded her.
"You KNOW it was fun to ride a rhinocerous."
"I admit, it was some of the most fun I've had in ages." Prowl once again lowered his hat.
"Oh, come on~!" Sari poked him in the face. "You loved it~!"
"It was…very nice…" the ghost of a smile crept on his face.
Pen joined in with Sari, not letting up. "yaloved yalovedit yalovedit yalovedit yalovedit-"
"Come on, give me some space!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH~! You LOOOOOOOVED it~!" They both stood up again.
"Alright, alright!" He shouted over their voices. "It WAS a pretty awesome construction date." He couldn't hide the smile anymore. "You know, I don't really like people making a huge fuss over it…but it was very nice of you to throw this for me. Oh, and thanks for all the gifts." He held up a wakizashi tied with a big, orange bow, and a new set of shuriken, all among other things.
"Hey, GUYS!" Bulkhead called from over by the garage door. The all looked out to see it was night once again. "It's finally dark enough for the surprise~!"
"Well, don't give it away, Bulkster!" Bumblebee ran out onto the streets. "C'mon! It's time!"
"Yea-uh!" Pen grabbed Thing and bolted for the door as well. "Kahmelion, get the cakes! Sari, get the birthday bot! Phantom, help me get this junk set up!" She dashed out just as one of those weighted rope things shot out from somewhere off-screen and missed her by a mile.
"...is it just me, or is something weird going on lately?" Optimus surveyed the room. Everywhere where Pen had been at any time during the day, there was some sort of anvil, net, cage, or other general type of trap set off with no quarry inside it as if it had BARELY missed.
"hm…" Pen popped her head back in for a second. "…nope~!" Then went right back to the 'surprise.'
In a few seconds, Prowl found himself blindfolded and being led through the room by his techno-organic friend.
"What the slag is-"
"HEY! Don't you DARE take that off!" He could hear Sari's voice. "Kahmleion, you got the two cakes?"
"As you might say in THIS universe, 'go to the scrapheap.'"
"Good~! Come on, mister fuss-pants."
Prowl stumbled blindly after her. As soon as he was outside, all of them hushed, whispering. Prowl caught a few repeated words: "He's gonna be so PSYCHED."
"Alright, you can take it off." Sari said.
The ninja bot removed the covering, and came face-to-face with a smiling bunch of all his friends and a large cube of energon, decked with oil 'icing' written out to spell "Happy Slaggin' Construction Date, Ninja-Bot!" topped with a candle in each corner.
"We didn't have ANY idea how old you were." Kahmleion shrugged. "But we were SURE it was WAAAAAY too much than would fit. I just put them on symmetrically before Pen torched 'em with the flamethrower."
"Well…this is…really nice…Thank you."
"Alright, you ready for the 'surprise?'" Bumblebee called to Sari, who was standing at the base of the plant. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
Sari called up to the roof, where Bulkhead was. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
Bulkhead held of a particularly large firecracker, a familiar idiot strapping on her helmet and flight goggles as she and minions sat on it, like they were about to ride it like a rocket. "Pen, you ready?"
"Trio ready for takeoff, dude!" She gave him the thumbs-up, then hung on tight.
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" And so he pulled back, letting the fuse touch the fire he'd lit temporarily up there, and then released the explosive as she and her minions launched into the night sky.
Pen looked back over her shoulder. "WHOO! Pass me a few of those pyrotechnics!" She shouted over her shoulder at Phantom as she steered the firecracker through the air.
"We're gonna need about 18 Screamin' Petes and 5 Boom-Shaka-Laka Bobs." The gothic rabbit-lookin' plushie called back to the plushie with the drawstring head. His partner obliged and dispensed the materials, then they passed them back up to their mistress.
"Alright, get ready for a bumpy ride!" She took a few fireworks and threw them out over the buildings, manipulating the paper in them to make sure they stayed in certain formations and didn't drop onto the buildings or the ground. "Flamethrower!" The item was passed up to her. She pulled the trigger and FWOOOOSH!
The sky was lit up.
Everyone below- including the birthday bot- watched the skies with awe. Even RATCHET was fairly impressed by the display. Pen was an artist in more ways than one.
"Yep…" Kahmelion took a sip of Dr. Pepper with her cake. "You never cease to amaze me, my friend…" She shook her head.
Clive turned to Optimus. "Are you sure it's ok to shoot off pyrotechnics in this area?"
"They seem to be taking care of the debris, and keeping it high enough so it doesn't harm any buildings or people…" He remarked. "Also, we told Fanzone he could come over and have some cake if he let us."
The police chief waved over from where he was eating some of the goods with Professor Sumdak. "Good cake, too. What's you girls' secret?"
"Souls." Kahmelion flipped a page in her book.
He spit out his cake in surprise.
"Kidding~!" she cracked. "or AM I?"
The watched the fireworks display. Pen sure knew how to get creative with the pyrotechnics. There were blooming flowers, dancing bugs, swirls, and they even used the lights to display scenes of sword play or shuriken as they spun and flew across the sky. The show was a huge spectacle as it wore on for hours. It ended with a flashing Autobot symbol and a crane flying through, the symbol disapating as they all 'oohed' and 'aaaahed.'
"HAHAHA!" Pen laughed heartily as she threw her hands up in the air.
"Uh, mistress?" Phantom clung to her waist.
Thing held onto Phantom's waist. "How do we get down from here safely?"
"We don't~!" She replied, smiling as all get-out. Just then, the fuse stopped sparking. It had RUN OUT.
KABOOM!
Ok, THAT was the finale. With that huge burst of sky-filling color, for a moment that night it was as bright as day. Pen and her minions, soot-covered, hurtled towards the earth, screaming their lungs out. Two out of fear, one out of joy.
"WOW!" Sari looked on. "That was the best fireworks display EVER!" She pumped her fist in the air, and then started clapping, starting everyone else in the uproar.
Prowl smiled probably the widest he'd ever in his entire life. "That…that WAS amazing! I LOVED it!" he clapped. "…where are Pen and the minions?"
"whoooooo-"
"You hear that?" Bumblebee looked up
"ooooooo-"
"I GOT HER!" Bulkhead jumped down from the roof and held out his hand ready to catch the falling crazies.
"OOOOOOOOO-OOF!" Pen landed, right in Prowl's arms. Phantom and Thing soon fell on top of her. They were ALL covered in soot and smelled like sulfur and gunpowder. The teenager took off her goggles and wiped them off. "Well… was that great, REALLY great, or really REALLY super-great~?"
"It was amazing." The Ninja-bot set her and her plushies down. "Best construction date ever."
"BOOM, SHAKA-LAKA~!" She gave him a fistbump. "You know…I may not have known you for that long, but this has seriously been a GREAT time knowing you. You're a great ninja sensei, and you're an even better guy. I know if I ever needed help in a fight, you'd be one of the first people I'd call. If I ever wanted to have a great time…you'd still be on that list. That's why we all pulled together to throw you this party."
"Yeah." Sari spoke up next. "We all appreciate you a lot. Right guys?"
"Whoot~!" Kahmelion and Clive called half-heartedly from their canned drinks….eh, they meant well.
Prowl was touched. "Well…that's very kind…I'm…glad to have such friends."
"Hey, I know I'M glad to have people to put up with me and save my sorry butt in a fight." Pen finished putting the rest of her smelly, dirty flight gear into Thing's head, revealing her fresh, clean clothes.
"…Well-put, Pen." He laughed, rumpling her hair
The group filed back in after it was all over, getting ready for sleep-or sleep MODE in some cases- and Pen and her minions were the last left outside, still cleaning up the fallen firework debris.
"Pen!" Kahmelion called back over her shoulder as she was walking into the garage door. "Don't stay out too long, there's all KINDS of wierdos out at this hour."
"Well, here's THREE wierdos right here~!" She picked up another firework and high-fived Phantom and Thing.
"Not YOUR kind of weirdo." Kahmelion finally went in.
Pen picked up the last three charred bits of soot-covered sulfur-and-gunpoweder-smelling junk. "Well, I think that's everything." She wiped the sweat from her brow, unintentionally smearing a bunch of soot on her forehead.
"Here, let me, mistress." Phantom took his long ear and wiped it off. "Also, it looks like there's still some left over there across the street."
Pen sighed. "Do we HAVE to? Like Kahmelion said, there's all KINDS of wierdos, and I wanna go get some shut-eye already."
"We have to clean up after ourselves, mistress." Thing said. "Besides, if we wait until morning, you'll just forget." He and Phantom left her to clean as they went inside to help clean up the stuff inside.
The teenager trudged across the street, watching for whatever the heck kind of car would be out at this hour, and got the bits that had fallen from the fireworks display.
As she got up to go back across to the plant, a pair of high-beams shone RIGHT in here eyes from down the street a ways. The car was too close, and going to fast for her to beat it, and she didn't want to take her chances across the road anyway HALF-BLIND, so she just waited at the sidewalk for it to pass.
However, that never happened. Just when she thought it was going to pass, it slowed to a halt. She stepped back. Something was familiar about that car…spikes…green and black paint job…uh-oh. The driver's side door opened.
She ran for her friggin' LIFE.
He feet hit the ground rapidly, adrenaline kicking in and telling her to get the heck outta there. The muscle car followed close behind, and she wondered how in the world she was able to run faster than it. She sucked at running, but gee, must've forgotten that being CHASED.
She kept cutting sharp corners, hoping to throw it off, but the vehicle turned on a dime. Turning and running back the way she'd come didn't help either. It was just as good driving backwards until it was able to turn around. There was only one option left. She didn't want to risk running into a store. She'd be trapped-for one thing- and she doubted a glass storefront would stop the individual after her.
Pen was coming up on a narrow opening between two buildings. It was JUST big enough for her to get through, and WAY too small for a muscle car-let alone a giant robot.
She took her chance, and darted through it. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw the vehicle slow down and stop, as if it was looking into the alleyway, but passed.
She'd lost him. Pen stopped for a second to rest. Panting, she caught her breath.
"Man…that was TOO close…" she walked through the maze of alleys for a while. After a while, she found a place she recognized as being close to the plant.
Walking out, she felt a sense of dread. It was probably due to the high-beams behind her. She turned slowly as she came face-to-face with doom.
The muscle car sped towards her. She held up her hands and screamed as it passed, temporarily untransforming as arm and yanking her inside, the door slamming shut and speeding away.
"OOF!" She hit the back seat. "Aw…man…alright, what the HECK are you doing! WHERE are we going! WHY are you kidnapping me!"
"You forgot ONE cliché, darlin'." A cold, husky voice buzzed in the inside of the car. "'WHO are you!'" He cried in mock fear.
"I already KNOW who YOU are!"
"Hm…looks like my reputation preceeds my name…"
"You got THAT right~!" Pen grinned. "By the way, when we're done with this cliché damsel in distress thing, do you think I could get an autograph, Lockdown?"
"…you are one SERIOUSLY messed-up quarry…"
"Oh!" She snapped out of her daze, remembering she was supposed to be scared/angry. "Right, what the HECK is up with this!"
"Oh, you'll see, darlin'. Just sit back and enjoy the ride."
"How the heck am I supposed to ENJOY being kid-"
BONK! A large metal object dropped down from the roof and hit her square in the back of her noggin.
"….Wenn Sie mochten, um einen Anruf zu machen, bitte liegen Sie auf und versuchen Sie es erneut…" and she fell back onto the seat and was out like a light.
When Pen woke up, she observed a few things.
One: her face was starting to get serious burn from being dragged across the floor- very filthy dirt floor she might add.
Two: she was tied up with those crushy bandage things and was being dragged at the end of that very rope.
Three: she couldn't even scream because her mouth was covered by the stuff as well.
She tried to get out of her bonds, only to feel them tighten. Crap. She should've remembered that mod. The bounty hunter felt to motion at the end of his lead and looked over his shoulder.
"You're up? Sorry about the lump on your head."
True, Pen could feel quite a throbbing in the back of her head. "MRPH m-m MRPH m-MRPH!"
"You talk too much. Figured I'd fix that situation."
They neared the heart of the abandoned mines. Pen tried to look and see what was going on. Computers everywhere, and a familiar hoard of giant robots staring at her as she was being dragged. It was Decepticon base. The place where an evil warlord colossus plotted with his evil henchmen and had-as of late- received many prank calls from her and her friends. Her eyes widened, and then she was whipped out in front, thrown across the room and landed with a sickening crack of possibly every bone in her body at the foot of a large, makeshift throne. Pen found herself looking up into the optics of Megatron. The red optics bore holes into her skull, and a red-and-black figure floated up next to the Decepticon leader's shoulder. Pen stared at the nightmaren with fire in her eyes.
"Well, when he delivers, he really DELIVERS." Reala said to Megatron.
"Yes." The titan replied. "You've done well to bring me a single, defenseless, helpless human, Lockdown. Take your pay from Thundercracker and get the slag out of my sight."
The bounty hunter grumbled something as he walked out, leaving Pen to try and sit herself upright, but the movement causing the bonds to tighten even more. It was getting hard to breath.
Reala laughed. "May I remove that horrid 'duct tape' for something a bit more comfortable for our 'guest,' Megatron?"
"She'll be of little use to us with her squishy, organic insides spewed all over the place." Megatron replied, waving him forward. Ok, that was pretty graphic… Pen just looked at the warlord in a sort of sad disbelief. Not 'sad' as in SHE was sad, 'sad' as in: 'man, that is just SAD.'
The nightmaren floated down and used his claw-like fingers to cut the material. Immediately after he had, she jumped up and punched him in his sparkly little FACE, sending him careening back past Megatron so that he hit the back wall, clutching his nose.
She made a break for it, shooting for the door, but was stopped by a huge metal foot stomping down right in front of her. A large hand picked her up by the back of her shirt, and she was kicking as she was being picked up off the floor.
"Ah~! Hallo, little madchen~!" Random Blitzwing examined the little human in his hand. "Leaving so soon? You'll miss the fun~!"
"Look, dude." She paused, still kicking. "lassen Sie mich gehen, und es gibt eine Gruppe von cupcakes in das fur dich."
"Sprechst du Deutch?" The decepticon changed back to icy mode.
"Ja~! Tanzen du gern~?" She smilled, hands on her hips.
"Ist eine Decepticon violet?"
He set her down and they kicked up their heels.
"Seine ...
super caja fraga listic expi ali docious!
Auch wenn der Klang ist etwas ganz grauenhaft
Wenn Sie es sagen, laut genug, Sie klingen immer frühreifer
super caja fraga listic epi ali docious!"
"ENOUGH!" Megatron called from his seat, and the two snapped out of it. Blitzwing from random back to icy mode, Pen to….Pen.
"Oh! Sorry 'bout that." Pen nudged Blitzwing in the leg. He picked her up again.
"Blitzwing, throw the prisoner in the holding block. Make sure she doesn't get out until it's time."
"Time for what?" Pen raised an eyebrow as she hung by her shirt and was escorted into another tunnel of the mine.
"Oh, you'll see, dear." Reala chuckled. Well THAT didn't sound creepy at all.
Blitzwing tossed her into the cell, and then activated that really cool plasma wall that you see in sci-fi all the time.
"Cooooooool…" so naturally, Pen had to try and touch it. "This is a pretty sweet cell…"
Blitzwing switched back to icy mode and set the code. 'Zis iz an anti-organic shield. Anyzing vith technological makeup can pass in and out vith ease. Anything vith biologicall makeup is ztuck on vhatever zide they vere on to begin vith. And, even of szomevone tried to rescue you from ze outside, ze code is changed daily. Ze valls on either zide of you and behind you are over a mile thick. Don't try tunneling."
"A'ight." She sat down and kicked back, leaning against the back wall. She checked her watch. "Midnight, huh? Mind if I get a snack?"
He switched to rage mode. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, PATHETIC ORGANIC!"
"Yeesh, hurtful…and LOUD." She held her fingers in here ears.
"YOU ARE ALONE IN HERE! NOBODY CAN ZAVE YOU!"
"Say it, don't spray it…and save me from WHAT exactly?"
He switched back to random. "I can't spoil ze zuprise~! HAHAHAHA~!" And he walked away.
When he got in the main room, Megatron was recharging, and Reala sat on the computers, appearing to be asleep as well.
Blitzwing tip-toed up to the others. Lugnut was standing at Megatron's side, like some sort of colossal watchdog, the Seekers were playing cards, Shockwave was trying to do something on the computers and was getting irritated at Reala's butt blocking things, and Swindle and Lockdown were shooting the breeze.
"Hey…fellas?"
"What is it, you insect!" Thundercracker looked up from his hand. "I was winning this game when you showed up!"
"Zhere's zomezing ztrange about zis prisoner. You vant to check it out?"
"S-strange?" Skywarp spoke up. "L-like…h-how strange is it? Does it bite?"
Blitzwing switched to rage mode. "Ach, NEIN! It's like she'z not even zcared in ze zlightest! Ze brat even asked me for a ZNACK lie zome zort of butler!"
"HA! That's a good title for you, insect!" Thundercracker just didn't know when to shut up. Blitzwing punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground.
"Oh, NO! You deserve much MORE respect than that, mighty Blitzwing!" Sunstorm oozed false airs. "Mighty and Strong, yet cold and calculating."
Blitzwing changed back to icy mode and facepalmed. "Vill you just shut up already and follow me?"
Pen had crashed out on the dirt floor. After all, it was incredibly late and the adrenaline had worn off. At the sound of crashing footfall, she snapped out of her sleep. "Dude, tryin' to get some shut-eye, here."
"You have visitors, little organic." The seekers all stared at her.
She stood up and bowed to her 'guests.' "Well, hello there~!" She walked to the front of the cell and leaned on the wall. "So, you bring me that midnight snack or what?"
"You will address me with RESPECT, SCUM!" Thundercracker squatted down and yelled in her face.
She kept a straight face, not even flinching as her hair was blown back. "…so, I'm guessing that's a 'no?'"
"You zee?" (random)Blitzwing did the whole finger swirl thing by his head. "Zomevun's not all zhere~!"
"she's freakin' me out…" Skywarp hid behind Slipstream. She glared, but then got a miscevious look in her eye.
"Here, Skywarp. Why don't you go say HI!" And so she shoved him through the sci-fi anti-organic wall.
"YEAUGH!" he fell flat on his face, and found himself face-to-face with the teenager.
"Yo, wazzup?" She smiled warmly.
He yelped and shot up, pressed against the wall. "D…don't come any closer!" He held his trembling pulsar cannon in front. "D-d-don't make me use this!"
"MAAAaaaaaayn, what's the problem?" She approached him, putting a reassuring hand on his leg. This only caused him to shoot up to the roof.
"DON'T SPIT ACID ON ME OR WHATEVER YOU ORGANICS DO!"
She paused for a bit. "…YOU…a humongous robot with deadly pulsar canons…are afraid of ME, a human about as big as maybe your FOREARM with NO means to defend herself right now…" She burst out laughing. The other decepticons soon followed. She was rolling on the floor and banging her fists on it.
"S…stop laughing!" poor Skywarp turned bright red and trudged out of the cell, head hung low and ashamed.
"Don't worry." Ramjet gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I still think you're cool."
This only darkened his mood.
Pen got up and composed herself, wiping her eyes. "Ok, ok, sorry for laughing…but that's just adorable!" She was still snickering. "Sorry, Skywarp."
"Oh, brilliant joke, organic!" Sunstorm looked down at here with interested optics.
Blitzwing switched back to random. "Oh, VERY amusing~!" He clapped. "Do you have any MORE entertaining qualities?"
"Oh, you bring me here to amuse you?" She put her hands on her hips. "A'ight…here's something:
Watermelon watermelon watermelon
SPIT!
We think your team's full of-
SHIFT to the left, SHIFT to the right!
Stand up, sit down, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"
The all chuckled.
"Do you do impressions?"
"Yeah, a few. Who do you want to hear?"
"That slaghead Optimus Prime." Slipstream put her hands on her hips. "Your leader, little miss."
"Hm…that's a tough one…and I don't really wanna dis him, but I can try" Pen scratchet her head, then put on a stern face. " I am OPTIMUS PRIME! Can I AXE you a question?" They all laughed. "Decepticons will fear me and my girly lipstick! Transform and Roll Out!"
"Now that OTHER guy…uh…he's blue, I think?" One of the seekers called.
"BLAH BLAH BLAH Bombastic blah blah blah I'm awesome, decepticons beware blah blah blah my chin is MIGHTY! SPOOOOOON!" Pen stuck out her jaw.
The decepticons collapsed in laughter.
"Hold on, I can do a Wasp impression DEAD-ON!" She turned her eyes all angsty and stuff. "Wazzp FIND Bumblebooot….Wazzp hunt down and KILL!"
"Oh slag…" Lockdown doubled over. "That sounded JUST like the little slagger…"
"Oh! Wait!" Pen smiled.
They were actually starting to like this organic. "What is it?" Icy Blitzwing faced her.
Pen put on her darkest face ever and puffed her chest out, speaking in a low, gravely voice. "All hail to me. I will destroy everything! ALL shall fear me, Lord Megatron!"
They all fell over themselves. She was KILLIN' this crowd.
"Huh? Am I right?"
All went silent immediately. Standing right behind them was the warlord himself, and he was FAR from amused. Reala floated above his shoulder.
Pen started singing the Darth Vader theme. "Dumb Dumb dumb,
Dumb du-dumb, dumb du-dumb~
Meg-a-tron is dumb, dumb du-dumb~!"
"I see we have a nice little 'party' going on here." Megatron glared at here, optics full of hate. It had little effect on her. "I see you think you can manipulate my mechs?"
"Dunno about that." Pen rolled her eyes. "We were just having a good laugh and tall, dark, and ugly showed up" She scratched the back of her head. "Hey, you wanna tell me exactly why you and my evil ex had me brought here? I'm getting bored and sleepy."
"Do you not realize you are surrounded by superior beings that could end you in a split-click by STEPPING on you?"
"Yeah, kinda gathered it." She studied her nails. "Hey, where's the bathroom around here?"
"She's a bit…difficult." Reala spoke reassuringly to the Decepticon leader.
"Hello! I said where's the loo?" She spoke a bit louder.
"All of you, back to your posts!" Megatron snapped. "Someone care to volunteer to guard our most amusing 'pet'!"
Lockdown left the room. "I already brought her here."
"I put her in ze CAGE~!" Bliztwing ducked out.
"Not it." Slisptream followed.
"I'll do it~!" Ramjet slipped out.
"I am FAR above lowly criminal guarding!" goodbye Thundercracker.
"Oh, yes, YES you most certainly deserve more, Thundercracker~!" Sunstorm left.
"Ah! W-wait! You're not going to leave me in here with-"
"That's EXACTLY what I intend to do" the decepticon leader just shoved him back and left. "Make SURE she stays put."
Pen yawned and rolled over, back to the front of the cell. "Man, there's so much DIRT." She stared at the back wall. "Might as well find SOME way out of here…" She thought over her options. Tunneling was not an option. She couldn't run out of the anti-orgnaic shield. She could try faking sick or dead, but then they might just burn the body…
"Hey!" She yelled at her 'guard.'
"Yeep!" He jumped. "W-what is it?" he timidly looked into the cells.
"I STILL have to go to the bathroom."
"J…just dig a hole or something in there!"
"Dude, I can't do my business in a CAVE with you guys around! Plus, I'll die without fresh air or something."
"I…I'm under strict orders to keep you in here….j-just go to sleep!"
"Can't. Got a full bladder. Just take me on a leash or something."
"….alright, just for a little while. You pets like to mark your territory on trees, right?"
"Uh…sure…" She rolled her eyes. "Just get me out to use the can or I'll spit acid on your or something."
Skywarp had snuck her past the recharging decepticons on, yes, a leash, and out of the mine. It was pitch black outside. They went into the trees and he tied on end of her rope to a high branch.
"a…aright. I'll wait over there…j-just call me when you're done." And he got the heck out of her sight.
Pen checked her jeans pockets. "Let's see….cell phone…cell phone…cell phone…AHA!" She took out the device. "Thank Goodness decepticons don't know anything about pockets or checking thereof….wow, four bars out here!" She dialed a number. "Come on…pick UP…"
"Keroro Platoon Base, Gero. Sgt. Keroro speaking."
"Keroro?" She whipered. "You there?"
"Yes. Pen, is that you? What's wrong? You sound like you're plotting."
"Ok, dude, I'm in Detroit fifty years in the future."
"Transformers Animated demension, Gero?"
"Yeah…look, I'm at the decepticon's hideout. How fast can you get here?"
A little saucer appeared right behind her.
"….man…now THAT'S fast!" She shook hands with the Keronian. "Never been so glad to have connections. Thanks, dude. I gotta get out of here. Those idiots took me captive for some reason they won't say. You got room on that ufo flyer?"
"You betcha…shouldn't we cut that leash though, first?"
"Yeah, sure. Idiots think I'm some sort of pet."
"Alright." He held up the Kero-ball. "Lazer cutter~!"
A beam of light shot out past them and cut the rope.
"Man, that's some powerful stuff…" Pen remarked.
"uh…not me, gero."
The two looked up at one angry Slipstream.
"Holy crap!"
"YOU MANIPULATIVE LITTLE SNEAK! PRISON BREAK!" She shot her pulsar cannons at them more rapidly.
"HOP ON! Quick!" Keroro and Pen took off, but Slipstream only transformed into jet form and rush forward, cutting them off. They crashed into her fell to the ground.
The femme seeker picked them up in her hand, almost crushing them.
"So…out for a little excursion, are we? Who's your friend?" She spat.
"Eat my shorts, villainess!" Pen turned her head hautily. Keroro just trembled in fear.
The human and the Keronian hit the floor of the cell HARD.
"Hey, easy!" Pen got up. Keroro shuddered in the corner. They'd destroyed both Pen's cell phone and the Kero-ball.
"Where are we!"
"Decepticon base."
"What do they want with us!"
"Dunno. They still won't tell me."
Megatron walked in, carrying a purple seeker kicking and screaming by the wing. "You little weakling!" He barked.
"Please, Lord Megatron!" Poor guy was at the point of tears. "Not in there! Not with her! PLEASE!"
"You allowed yourself to be tricked by and organic and let our prisoner free! For that, this seems suitable punishment!"
"NOOO!"
Pen and Keroro stood to the side as Skywarp was thrown in with them. He immediately tried to get out again, but was shocked painfully by the wall, causing him to yelp and fall back.
"What! W-what happened!" this just really wasn't Skywarp's day.
"Ve had to set a few more security precautions." Blitzwing glared at them. Funny. Just a few minutes ago she had them in riotous laughter. Now they all looked at Pen like the one organic scum they hated the MOST in the entire universe!
Megatron glared into the enclosure. "I'll have Schockwave discipline the pet tommorow."
"Get zome zleep, organic. You need to look good for your performance tomorrow." And the decepticons walked away.
Skywarp got on his knees and begged. "PLEASE! Get me OUT of here! I'll do anything! I'm SORRY! It won't happen again! PLEASE!"
"Dude, you're giving us BOTH headaches." Pen walked over to him. "And I wish they would stop being so foggy…" she walked to the back of the cell. "I don't supposed YOU could blast your way through all this dirt and rock?"
"B-but that would infuriate Lord Megatron!" He quivered.
"Right, dumb question to ask a patsy, gero." Keroro sat in his corner. "They'll NEVER break the great Sgt. Keroro!"
"Come on, guys, let's get some sleep. It's 3 am." Pen rolled over on her side. "I guess we have to wait and see 'till morning, since I have no paper to break us out of here, and I'm really tired anyway."
"…are you sure you're not going to hurt me?"
"Skywarp, go to recharge or whatever." Pen started to fall asleep, wondering just what the heck would happen next. "Oh, by the way, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For humiliating you in front of all them and scaring the crap outta you and getting you into this mess."
The next morning, the autobots all gathered around the living room.
"So, Prowl? How'd you like your construction date?" Bulkhead lumbered in with some oil.
"It was fantastic. Have you seen Pen anywhere?" The ninja-bot already had Clive and the Minions ready. "We're supposed to have training this morning, but she's not in the plant."
"She may have gone to get the paper." Phantom suggested. "She wasn't there when we woke up…kinda worries me…"
Kahmelion walked in with the mail. "Ok…we got junk mail…magazines…some stuff for Sari…"
The techno-organic collected her correspondance. "Why didn't they just send it to Sumdak towers?" Something fell out from between the envelopes. "Hello…what's this?" She picked it up. It was a movie disk, with a decepticon symbol scribbled hastily over the cover. "…oh slag…"
"The decepticons!" Optimus took the disk. "What do they want!"
"I guess we gotta play the DISK, Sherlock?" Kahmelion popped it into the player.
An image flashed onto the screen. It was Pen. She was behind some sort of…wall? To her left was a familiar frog-like alien, and behind her was a cowering character that looked like a recolored Starscream. Everyone in the room gathered around and gasped. Pen was filthy, with dark bags under her eyes, bruises, and a bleeding nose and lip. She spoke.
"…is it on? A-are we recording? …Hey, guys~! Alright…I've been kidnapped by the Decepticons or whatever. Here's what's going down: alright, so they want to race you guys or something. It'll go from the northernmost point of Michican to the Southernmost point, and the winner takes all. If the decepticons win, then they get complete control over Earth and you guys have to leave. Also, I have to go live with Reala-say hi, dude~!"
The nightmaren floated onscreen for a minute to greet them. "Autobot scum, TeamPaperWyngz scum, nice to see you."
"Alright….and uh…Man, could you guys have written these cue cards a bit CLEARER! She called off-screen. "…oh…ok, man. Geez. Point that canon elsewhere-ah, YEAH! If you win-and they're not banking on it- they will leave forever and let me go. The race is in three days. Today is your first day, the race is on the third. Later~!" And the image clicked off.
They all stood speechless.
It clicked on again. "Oh, and I'm supposed to say 'don't bother looking for me.' They have their signals scrambled…which makes me wonder how I was able to get the call to Keroro out…ah well. See ya in three days~!" She finished, waving a hand that looked oddly like it was burned by electric shock…
To be continued~!