"The Winner ain't the one with the fastest car. It's the one who refuses to lose."
–Dale Earnheardt
"To achieve anything in this game, you must be prepared to dabble in the boundary of disaster."
-Sterling Moss
Poof Chronicles 2: The Dorkcepticons
Chapter 10: Race for the Finish part4
The autobots came out of recharge that morning, still feeling half-dead. Or, for a better choice of words, completely grave. Everyone moved through that morning in silence. Kahmelion didn't care about being woken up early, as she'd never gone to sleep in the first place. Team PaperWyngz and Sari ate breakfast and checked the atlas for the umpteenth time while the autobots and dinobots prepared for what was to come.
The mechs and femmes geared up, Ratchet checking everyone's suspension, fuel, and other vehicle jargon. After everyone had gotten prepared, they still felt like they could never be ready to go and do what they were about to do.
"I can't believe we're doin' this, man." Jazz shook his head, sitting on the cement couch while he waiting for his allies to finish tune-ups.
Jetfire and Jetstorm popped up from behind the couch. "Mr. Jazz sir, is everything to be being ok ?"
"Ah, hey jet dawgs. I'm a'ight, it's just…thinkin' about how much is at stake here…The whole planet's in jeopardy, and the only the we able to do is go and play THEIR game…"
"And they had to make it personal." Bulkhead lumbered in, with an expression far too dark to EVER need to be present on his face. "The picked the wrong organic to mess with…"
"Mr. Bulkhead sir," Jetfire and his brother walked over to the mech over twice their size. "Your are being ok to, especially?"
"Only if you count having one of your best friends kidnapped where you can't find a trace of them for THREE DAYS and getting ready to slag the cons who did it is ok." He snapped back, flexing the fingers on his wrecking-ball arm.
"Maybe you should be calming down and getting some oil." Jetstorm voiced, concerned. "We are all caring for safe return of Pen."
"He Megatron make big mistake for taking me Swoop's friend Pen." The dinobot walked in, an oil can in hand.
Wreck-gar entered. "Hang on, Neddy, we're goin' to war!"
Prowl, who had been trying to meditate in the corner, finally gave up. "Although, I do almost feel sorry for the Decepticons…almost…"
"What the slag are YOU talkin' about, dawg?" Jazz sprang up.
"Because they've had to deal with PEN for three days." Ratchet lumbered in. "If I know Pen, she's given them pit every minute of it. When we rip her out of the hands of whatever creep's got her, I say she deserves a slagging medal." He crossed his arms. "So are YOU mechs ready to go and do just that?" he barked.
The entire group gathered in the living room. Standing before them was Optimus Prime, and Team PaperWyngz were front-row. It was time for one of his trademark speeches. You could almost hear the patriotic music playing in the background…oh wait, that's Wasabi Ed.
"Look, I'm going to say this now. Today looks pretty slagging bleak. Today," he continued, "The Earth is at stake. Thousands of lives are being held hostage, as well as the life of our own friend being used as bait for us to whatever twisted, sick trap the Decepticons want to lure us into. However, though this may all just be a trap, we HAVE to go out there and win this. We are AUTOBOTS. We can get around whatever their plans are, and make our own plan to conquer this threat on the field. Pen has been half-living in whatever pit-hole they have her hidden in. You all saw the videos. We can't keep her waiting and rotting there any longer. Today, we rush into danger and laugh in it's face. Today, we race Decepticons that could spring something to offline us at any moment. Today, we DO seem like complete morons for doing so. But, today we are going to take back a world from these villains to peace not only for the fate of the world, but for our personal motivation as well. Today, we bring Pen home. Today, she walks free to rejoin her friends and not have to spend the rest of her days wondering if she lives or dies at any moment. Autobots, Dinobots, and Team Paper-Wyngz, transform and roll out!"
Kahmelion and Phantom hopped into Bulkhead's carriage, and Clive and Thing did the same with Wreck-gar as they all sped to almost certain offlinement. But, they had a resolve. A resolve that would hopefully save the lives of billions as well as the life of their friend…hopefully.
In the meantime, Pen woke up, stretching, yawning, and overall re-aligning her spine. She looked over to her inmates, who were still slumbering. It had been hard to get some sleep last night. Not only had they been up super-late, but it was still hard to fall asleep knowing what was all going down today. The sleep deprivation from the past three days was starting to get to her, but she wouldn't let it. She sat up and drew with her finger in the dirt. First her friends. She could only manage stick-figures given her current medium and lack of energy. Next, she stood up, made sure she was on the wall facing the security camera, and with big, sweeping marks formed a raggedy autobot symbol, a smack in the face of her captor, letting Megatron know that she would never give up. Shortly after, large footfalls were heard as Lockdown and Shockwave entered the room. Shockwave carried a pair of stasis cuffs, and Lockdown operated the touch pad and tied lead ropes to both Pen and Keroro's hands. The human teenager held herself high and slipped her hands right out of them.
"I can walk MYSELF, thank you." She snarled, and kept right at their side as they walked down the tunnel, her arms crossed.
They reached the main room, where Robo-Hitler and the goth clown were waiting.
"Well, fleshy, I'm glad to see you've decided to cooperate. I see you've realized a losing battle." The warlord smirked.
"Honey, do you think red and black or pink and black would look better in the bathrooms?" the nightmaren held up the color swatches, cackling.
Pen didn't respond. She simply stood and waited for whatever was next. Seeing they weren't provoking any kind of reaction, the two of them stopped.
"Swindle, transport the organics. Shockwave, you will make sure the traitor is secured on a lead behind."
Skywarp didn't shake one bit. Following Pen's lead, he just kept his calm and let himself be attatched to the lead as Pen and Keroro were hustled inside the Swindle SUV like criminals into a police car.
The decepticons sped off, Swindle carrying the priosoners and dragging the traitor behind on his bumper.
He hung back a little, and switched off his com-link.
"So…" he vocalized to his passengers. "What do you think of your ride so far?"
"It sucks." Pen snapped back.
"Well, how about-"
"Megatron sucks."
"…well how abo-"
"YOOOOOU suck." She cut him off again. There was a pause in the carriage.
"Well, Pen, perhaps there's something you can do for me so I can do something for you and you can depart to wherever your little spark desires?"
"I see…" She glared. "You know, it would be very good if there was something you could do. I would be in serious debt. Like, huge debt."
"Keep talking my language." The arms dealer swerved around the corner.
"Something…like…I don't know." She smirked. "Double what my offer was on the blaster. But, alas, you're under strict orders."
Swindle unlocked the backseat doors. "what orders?"
"Sweet, gero." Keroro went to the door to open it, but it was quickly locked again in his face.
"Whoh, WHOAH, froggy." Swindle practically shouted inside of him. "We've got to make this look good. Look, you see that compartment under the passenger's seat?"
Keroro opened the small door her found. Inside was his kero-ball of all things! "How…how did you-?"
"I convinced them to let me study it for possible duplication. I thought it might come in handy for myself, though. Now, when I say 'go,' you're going to fire a blast at my door. I'll fling my door open to make it LOOK like you blasted it open yourself, you guys cut Skywarp loose, and everyone goes home happy. Ok?"
"Gotcha." Pen nodded. "Ready, Swindle? Keroro? SKywarp?"
The other three assured her.
The SUV kept driving. "When we hit this next turn….GO!"
And it was set into place. He was hanging so far back the other Decepticons didn't even notice. He sped off as Pena and Keroro jumped from the vehicle, cut Skywarp loose, tuck and rolled, and were finally…after four tries and much pain,
Free.
Pen stood up first and dusted herself off. "If you're not dead, raise your hand."
Keroro and Skywarp, faces in the dirt on the side of the highway, held up their hands.
"Good…holy crap, we're FREE! FINALLY!" She danced around and shouted to the sky. "THANK GOD! We're not being zapped or punched or fed slop~!" She put her hands on her hips. "Good golly miss Molly…" She took in the first fresh air for days. "This is awesome…We cheated their game, boys~!" She hopped over and gave Keroro a big bear-hug. "Come on, let's get to the city and find the auto-hello, what's this impossibly random and convenient debris I see blowing towards me in the wind?" She snatched the paper…it was a flyer…
"Bots vs. Cons. Race to end All Races. From Hancock to Menominee. Michigan is the track, the World is the stakes." She let it sink in. "Skywarp, transform and rise up! We got ourselves a race to stop!"
The roads were cleared by the police, and on either side thousands of screaming fans piled against the barricades, threatening to overflow and spill out onto the track. There were several Autobot fan signs and anti Decepticon slogans everywhere. However, all the fangirls wearing tight, tiny shirts and fanboys with spray-painted bodies screaming their lungs out had no effect on either side. The Autobots had a sort of home field advantage, having been all around Michigan many times. However, the Decepticons had the air advantage, and would be able to fly faster than a lot of the Autobots could drive. Their best bet would be Jetfire and Jetstorm being able to hold their own in the skies. It shouldn't be much of a problem. However, they still had no idea what they were getting into. Megatron had never agreed not to use weapons, and Optimus was hardly in a position to make demands. The two team leaders glanced at eachother sideways.
"Where is Pen?" The autobot demanded to know.
"Don't worry about her. We have her nice and safe." Reala floated over and replied. "Although, she won't be that way for long."
"We WILL win today." Prowl stepped forward. "For the life of our friend and the billions of lives on this planet.
"Alright, kids." Ratchet walked over to Team PaperWyngz's vehicles. "Out. We can't risk you getting harmed."
"Bullcrap." Kahemlion locked Bulkhead's doors. "We have out own abilities, we can take care of ourselves."
"And what about blondie?" Ratchet pointed to Joey, sitting with Kahmelion in Bulkhead. "Wait, how did he even get here!"
The Nightmaren Prince floated out above the center of the highway. "Alright," he got everyone's attention. "This race will be from here to Menominee. The first mech or femme to reach the finish line entering the city's side wins. No weapons, no transforming, you get knocked off the track and you're out. I would say I want a clean race, but where's the fun in that?" He smirked, and held up his hand, glowing as if it here charging. "Winner takes all. GO!" He fired an energy ball, and they all instantly shot off, speeding over the road or taking off into the skies. Just as they all left the starting line, Swindle pulled in, his tires screeching on the pavement.
"SWINDLE!" Megatron com-linked back to his subordinate on the ground. "What happened? Where are the prisoners!"
"They Escaped, sir!" Swindle let his door hand as if it really was injured. "The tiny one found a weapon in my secret compartment and nearly blasted my door off!"
"You let them get AWAY!"
Sari sat inside Bumblebee at the driver's wheel. "Ok, when did this monkey get in here!"
"Speed, come in, Spee- er…I am meaning, Sari." Jetstorm's voice came loud and clear over the com link. "You need to be seeing this!"
Overhead, another Jet flew near the track.
"Skywarp!" Sari and Bumblebee exclaimed, shocked, in unison. "SLAG!" Sari gazed at the jet, noticing it was never joining the lineup. "What the pit is he doing here!"
"Be closer a bit in your looking." This time Jetstorm responded.
Optimus drove at the lead of the Autobots, Prowl following closely on the left wing. Suddenly, his com-link was filled with static, which changed to jargon, which morphed somewhere into words. Words spoken in a familiar voice.
"Optimus! Come in. Come in, Optimus!" Pen's voice rang loud and clear. Why was it showing up as a Decepticon frequency!
"Pen!" the Prime almost but on his breaks. "What…where are you!"
"Um…look to your left and up in the skies." She said.
He followed her instructions. All he saw was another seeker. "PEN! Are you being held on that seeker jet!"
"Hold on! DON'T. SHOOT. It's a long story, but now's not the best time for me to explain. Don't worry, I know what I'm doi-AUGH!"
"Pen! Pen, what was that!" he shouted into his com-link. "What happened!" he looked up and saw Skywarp's left wing smoking, debris falling off of it. "Pen, hold on! I'm sending someone to get you!" He switched frequencies. "Bulkhead! Swoop! Follow that jet! Try and get it before they hit the ground! Take the humans and minions with you!"
"What happened!" A thick Brooklyn accent grated his audio receptors. "Is Pen ok!"
"Just get over there!" The Prime sped up as the dinobot glided down from the skies and one of his own mechs sped off the road in the direction of the falling metal mass.
"Optimus!" The Prowl-cycle pulled up next to him. "Was Pen ON that flight!"
"No slagging DUH, Prowl!" Bumblebee shot ahead, to be passed by Blurr.
Pen stumbled out of the smoking jet, carrying Keroro out on her back, who was still screaming like a lady. Skywarp transformed back into bot mode and stood up.
"Ugh. Man, That idiot Thundercracker shot at us!" Pen dusted her jeans off. "Skywarp, do you think we can still make it on foot?"
"I…I think I can." The seeker gingerly felt his injured wing, but stood up. He held out his hand for them to climb in, and took off running.
"Let's get to the nearest city! We're gonna need a copter and a camera crew...also a mechanic…"
In some town in some place somewhere in Michigan, a family was just sitting in their living room, minding their own business. A teenage girl, not even paying attention to the TV as she listened to her ipod and read seventeen magazine refused to let her little brother change the channel from Degrasi to Spongebob. Just as such and such girl was about to slap such and such boy for dumping her, the screen flashed, and changed to the image of a brunette with scratched glasses, dark circles under her eyes, raggedy clothes, and dirt all over her. In all honesty, she looked a bit like Harry Potter after part two of the seventh movie. "Hello, Michigan! Good midday, and we here at chanel 5 news are preempting your broadcasts to bring you live covereage of the race that just could end the world as we know it. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Autobots vs. Decepticons for the fate of our planet."
"Say WHAT!" The teenage girl tried to click off of the ugly girl's image. It was on every channel. "MOM! Something's wrong with the TV!"
"Your mother's the one at the news station, Samantha." A man with graying hair walked in, the girl's dad. "…Holy cow, is that… is that the Autobot and Decepticon race going on today! Riley, get us all some popcorn and sodas from the fridge!"
"UGH!" The teenager groaned.
"Yes, this is Dian Sommers, reporting to you live from our news copter over what could be the most exciting race of our time or any time on earth. The Evil Decepticons have once again challenged the heroes of our Earth, the heroic Autobots. This time, however, to a race. It has been announced that the winners of this race will decide the fate of the world, as well as the fate of this interesting little girl. Coming up next, how will this effect your holiday traffic?"
Pen pushed the lady out of the way. "Uh, yeah, this 'little girl' has a name, ok? This is Pen Fandango, and me and my friend Kero were held hostage for three days, beaten to a pulp each day and deprived of sleep, fresh air, and sometimes food." She sat by the open side of the helicoptor, so that the cameraman would focus on the race below. "We're flying right next to the action, doing the stupidest of stupid as we're hovering just a little far off from the Decepticon's flight formation. The only two Autobots in the skies are Jetfire and Jetstorm, as it appears moments ago Swoop broke formation in the racing lineup as well as Bulkhead in the motorcade below to chase after a falling seeker. I just want to clarify to all the fans in the audience that that particular seeker was Skywarp. He was trying to fly me and Keroro to reach the Autobots again safely, but was shot down with the both of us inside. I'm thankful to be alive. He's not offline, but following closely on foot with Keroro. I'm not going to say which angle or side he's following just in case a Decepticon is tapping this transmission." She pointed down at the formation. "Enough about my sob story! As you can see, the Autobots are so far in the lead with Blurr and Bumblebee neck-and-neck on ground and Jetfire and Jetstorm forming the Safeguard jet in the skies. They're nearing the next turn, and it seems like Bulkhead and Wreck-Gar are pulling back onto the track-man they must have some good traction on their tires...- and trying to regain the ground they've lost to Swindle and Blitzwing….Hello, what's this?"
Kahmelion cursed. "Man, Pan, what the heck? You had better not be dead!" She rubbed her temples as she steamed. It was a wild goose chase, and was now probably for a body. Joey was huddled up, panicking and rambling on in some nonsense.
Phantom slapped the blonde with his ear. "Pull it together man! If she was dead, then I'd be dead!"
Optimus com-linked in. "Bulkhead! Swoop! Status report!"
Bulkhead panted as he replied, through gritted teeth. "We couldn't find them, Prime. The only thing there was a scorched clearing and Skywarp's wing. I swear, if he does ANYTHING to her-"
"Calm down, soldier. If they weren't still there, they're probably still alive."
"Wait…" Kahmleion spoke into the com link. "Pen made some allusion to Skywarp being ok…so if Pen's free, shouldn't we all just stop racing and go find her?"
There was a pause. All eyes and ears-or auditory sensors- were on her.
"Seriously, though. You guys can totally stop these Decepticons. Heroes always win. EVERY…EPISODE…or…at least every story arc…anyway, it just seems like you spent all these chapters building up to a HUGE race and making it SO important and life or death, making a HUGE dramatic speech about it, and then it turns out that the whole thing is totally pointless."
Nobody said anything for a while, they just sped over the highway.
"Because that" Phantom and Joey chopped her in the back of the head. "Would be too anti-climactic."
She sighed. "Fine. Just shut up and drive….I said SHUT UP AND DRIVE."
"We heard you the first time!" Clive plugged his ears. "Blimey, what the rot are you shouting about?"
"Sorry. I'm just used to Pen being here for a musical number."…hold, on, what are those guys in front of us doing!"
Blitzwing was transforming out of vehicle mode, and kneeling so that his tank treads on his shins to continue to roll him forward while he turned and aimed backwards. His fire cannon was locked on them.
"Hey!" Bulkhead called. "I thought we said no transforming and no weapons!"
"Ve alzo zaid no going off of ze track."
Pen watched the explosion from above and Bulkhead just managed to swerve out of the way and dodge the blast. If she knew anything, some of her friends were on that carrier. "UN-SLAGGING-BELIVEABLE!" She faced the camera. "Viewers, both sides have now broken what were apparently mentioned before as the racing rules. Sorry, I was too busy escaping death notice." She held up her hands. "Anyway-OH MAH GAWD it is getting rough down there! Everyone's trashing eachother, man! The Autobots are getting friggin' WASTED out there! There's spare parts and fire and crap flyin' all over the place! Oh, the HUMANITY! Bulkhead and Bumblebee just got knocked off of the track, and Ratchet's barely escaping fire to provide aid!"
…
"Ah, screw this. Reporter lady, I leave you to the job you were paid to do." She finished, grabbing a script from some bit on a kid who was buried up to his waist in a sandbox and peed his pants to get out. Then, she jumped. The crew rushed to the window, the cameraman catching every moment as she unfurled two new paper wyngz.
A full-on brawl had started down below. Shots were exchanged, as well as blows. How in the heck they were all staying on the road was beyond Kahmelion as she stood on top of Bulkhead and held of what she could with her own powers, while Clive backed her up and the minions caused mayhem with a seemingly endless supply of bullets courtesy Thing's head and Phantom poofing in and out of everyone's faces. The Autobots and Decepticons duked it out, shooting each other off of the road and out of the skies, or at least trying to. The Decepticons had bigger soldiers, more firepower, dirty tactics, and more of an air advantage. The Autobots had numbers, strength, loyalty, courage, all sorts of valor crap, some teenagers and a few living plushies.
"ALL THE LADIES IN THE HOUSE SAY YEAH~!" A familiar, albeit autotuned voice came from above, and it sounded like it was getting closer. Both sides risked a look to the skies. Falling from eight thousand feet in the air, wings out behind her so she would friggin' survive, and two sections of script in her hands, arms crossed like she was trying to fire like Death the Kid in the Soul Eater opening theme was Pen. She managed to land on top of Wreck-Gar's shoulder, the one opposite of Clive and Thing, and held up her "guns," reverting her wings to more fire power. "EAT PAPER, SUCKFACES!"
"PEN!" Bulkhead called, blocking more Decepticon fire. "You're alive!"
"Well naw DUH, slaggaz~!" She added her abilities to the fight. "I ain't gonna sit and watch while y'all have all the fun~! Besides, this is my first 'fate of the world' deal~!"
"Pen, HOW are you getting your voice to sound like that?" Prowl glanced back at his returned student after throwing a shuriken, which made it's mark right in Lockdown's left optic. She sounded like Perceptor, but more musical.
"She has built-in autotune. She swallowed a tiny computer this one time. That's a story for somewhere and some-WHEN else." Kahmelion answered, climbing onto Bulkhead's wrecking-ball. She motioned for Pen to jump over, and she did.
"Alright, let's frikkin' DO THIS~!"
"…can you turn the autotune off? It's kind of annoying."
Pen sighed. "Ugh, alright. Just let me adjust my pancreas." She concentrated for a while…then pooted. "A'ight, it's off. LET'S DO THIS!" And Bulkhead shot them out into the Decepticons for compelte and utter mayhem, as well as just blowing stuff up. "LEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIINS~!"
The crowd watched. Not just in Michigan anymore, this was being broadcast all across the country, and eventually they cleared for world-wide. Lucky fans by the streets even got to catch some spare parts while they watched their heroes battle for the fate of their planet.
Optimus made his way through the fire of several 'cons before he found himself face-to-face with a foe that the even the pit would spit out. "Megatron!"
"Oh, save the dramatic prattling for that little organic glitch busy tearing Shockwave a new tailpipe." He spat, drawing his blade.
"Hey, man! I wouldn't do THAT! That's GROSS!" Pen called from where she kicked Shockwave in the face.
Optimus pulled out his axes. That's right, y'all. Fate of the world? Check. Dramatic Optimus Prime speech? Check. Huge battle? Check. Dramatic finishing battle between OP and Megatron? Checka-lecka-ding-dong.
The two went right after it, rushing eachother with their blades. Sparks flew as the metal clashed, and millions of people gazed on speechless in pure awe.
"YEAH-YO!" Pen had finished annoying Shockwave and had shaped herself some wings, taking to the skies with Sari to help beat Jetfire, Jetstorm, and Swoop beat the crap out of the air support. Kahmelion formed her own wings, backed them up with a katana and covered them with a paper shield.
The weaponry wasn't a problem. Between Pen and Kahmelion's paper shots and blade, Sari's energon blades, the twins' and swoop's guns, they were making good headway, however outgunned they were. But, the real problem they were facing in the skies was keeping their guard. The paper could be made rock-hard, but the blasts often exploded, so they would have to pull down the paper shield to avoid it burning and therefore becoming useless. A few times while Kahmelion had to take down the shield to set it back up again, a pulsar blast grazed the tip of her left wing.
"You guys, are defenses aren't really good enough!" Kahmelion shouted over the racket going on below.
"I know!" Pen said. "But we haven't gotten shot down YET!" She laughed, firing more paper to have it make it's mark, slicing off Ramjet's right wing.
Sari and Safeguard focused on the rest of the seekers and flying Autobots, while Slipstream soared right up to Pen.
"You little glitch…"
"Sorry, girlfriend." Pen cocked the portion of the script she was holding.
"You're still coming to my construction-date party, right?"
"Bet your sweet bippy." Pen fired, and the femme jet went down. Ah, frenemies.
"…uh-"
"I'll tell later." Pen answered Kahmelion. Come on, we've got everything taken care of up here, we need to regroup down-"
Sari screamed. "PEN! LOOK OUT!" right before the girl had the wind knocked out of her.
Pen was punched right in the gut, with a force so strong it ripped away the paper that was holding her wings and causing her to drop the paper she had been using as gun power. Whoever or whatever delivered the blow then grabbed her around the waist and held something long and sharp to her throat. "Reala…"
"Pen…"
The Nightmaren held her up in the air for a while, until some of her teammates on the ground noticed. Optimus even glanced up to see why the fighting had stopped, and was tackled and pinned down by Megatron, who kept a colossal foot pressed into the mech's chassis.
The prince surveyed the scene. Many Decepticons and even some autobots were down. Jazz was actually in the process of kicking Lugnut in the face. In fact, he'd stopped mid-air…feh. Ninjas.
"Everybody, drop your weapons."
There was a pause. I think one fan from the sidelines tossed down a cheese grater. The autobot side looked up with shock. The decepticons with smirks and disbelief.
"NOW!" Reala barked.
"Guys, I don't think he's joking!" Clive tossed down his lance. Bumblebee put away his stingers, and all of them put away any guns or armament they had. Megatron was furious. He called in a rage, "How DARE you give orders, scum!"
"That means YOU TOO, glitchhead." The nightmaren spat. Now, I would suggest you all stand still and don't try anything while I go and take my prize.
"…ok, what's goin' on here?" Wreck-gar stared up, oblivious.
Reala laughed that icy chuckle of his. "You're standing on a mine field, suckers~!"
Everybody froze instantly…well, except for people in the sky.
"Vait…" Jetfire began. "How iz zat to be affecting us who are up here?"
"Ve could be eazily ztopping you." Jetstorm finished.
"Also, how the heck did they drive onto the minefield and stay on there, fighting for so long without being blown to bits already?" Kahmelion added. Sari bonked her on the head. "STOP MAKING SENSE YOU GUYS!"
It was then he reached in his hat and pulled out a small remote control. "Well, they weren't armed before, DUH. And you're supposed to be the smart one." The nightmaren rolled his eyes. Kahmelion wanted SO badly to punch him in the face right now.
"You slagging little scum of a traitor!" Megatron aimed his other arm, carrying his gun upwards to him, but it was blasted out of his hand.
"Oh, you'll break my heart. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time for you, now would it?" Reala shook his head, and held up the remote. "So, Let me tell you right now. I'm going to fly out of your weapons' range with my fiancé. Next, I'll get out of here and we live a happy life together."
"Uh, NO FRIKKIN' WAY!" Pen snarled. "You really think they're going to fall for that?"
"They will if they want you alive." He smirked.
"…are you kidding me?" She asked in all seriousness. "In all of your plot twists in the history of the time I've known you, this has got to be the cheesiest, most predictable-"
He hit her in the face. "Any other quips, or can we get this over with. Like I said, try to move, and the mines will destroy you all."
"Riiiiight…" Pen shifted her eyes. "Look over there! A supermodel!"
No reaction but an cold gaze.
"Look, a hoverboard!...LOOK THE APOCALYPSE!...uh…SOMEONE GOT HIT IN THE BOINGLOINGS!"
He just rolled his eyes and shook his head-as did most of everyone below and in the skies if they weren't facepalming.
"Hit in the boingloings. Boingloings…boingloings…someone got hit in them…" Pen looked for SOME sign of something she could do. Then, she saw a rustling in the trees. A familiar purple form emerged, quick as lightning, flying towards her.
"PEACE OUT!" She raised her knees to her chest and kicked back, causing him to double over in pain and drop her. She caught the remote and landed on the hood of Skywarp. "Phew. Thanks for the lift, buddy."
"N…n-no problem." He spoke, and then transformed back into bot-mode, holding her in his hands as they hovered safely to the ground. "Y-you deactivated it right?"
"Yup~!" and she smashed the control over he knee for good measure. "Wait…you got your wing blasted! HOW did you fly up and get me?"
Skywarp laughed. "ha. Well, it's a long story and-"
"FREEZE!" There wasn't one Decepticon who wasn't incapacitated or had a weapon in their face, and that included Skywarp.
Optimus, who'd gotten Megatron off of him in the whole "boingloing" distraction(at least Pen was always good for one thing. He'd have to ask her later what boingloings were) and had HIM with an axe to the throat, pointed his other axe at Skywarp, as did Bee with one of his stingers and a largely ticked-off Bulkhead with his wrecking-ball. "You have THREE SECONDS to drop the girl and explain yourself."
"I-I-uh…I…I just-DON'T HURT ME!" Skywarp squeaked out and crouched down.
"Um, guys?" Kahmelion landed. "She obviously seems to trust him, he's obviously not a threat."
"STOP MAKING SENSE, KAHMELION!" the entire cast demanded.
"Guys, wait!" Pen held up her arms. "Don't hurt him! He's special." She insisted. "Skywarp, put me down, please." He did as she asked. "See? No harm. This right here's the dude that helped me COUNTLESS time while I was captured, and continued to do so to reach you guys. AND he just saved me from crashing into the ground and likely dying."
"You want us to trust a slagging DECEPTICON?" Ratchet cocked an optic ridge.
Bulkhead…put down his Wrecking-ball. "I trust him." He said, but not without begrudging reluctance.
"What the scrap, Bulkhead!" Bumblebee looked at his friend as if he'd outfitted a third servo and five more legs.
"Pen trusts him, and I trust her. She's bat crazy, but she has pretty good judgment."
Then others turned their weapons to keeping the real villains at hand…well, at hand.
Reala finally hit the ground, clutching his middle, with his face screwed-up in pain. Kahmelion and Sari but took him by the shoulders and were about to give him the biggest whaling of his life…but he vanished like a d-bag.
"Alright, where'd he go!" Sari crossed her arms.
"…when you think about it, if he had the power to warp all along, why didn't he just do that to get Pen out of here?" Kahmelion raised an eyebrow
"…Dramatic effect? The techno-organic replied. "I dunno, you really gotta stop making sense."
Jazz and the twins got all the Decepticons secured-save Skywarp, and Optimus came up to thank him.
"So…you're the mech we have to thank for keeping her online all this time?"
"To be honest, Prime…" Skywarp suddenly became very interested with his feet. "She's the one who saved me. I…was a coward…"
"Skywarp." She chopped the back of his leg. "You stood up for what was right regardless of opposition, you saved my life regardless of opposition SEVERAL times, and you're here, standing by us even now. To me, that's the OPPOSITE of cowardice." She walked over to where the Decepticons were all in stasis cuffs.
"Kinda reminds you of that poem we learned in English class." Khamelion remarked as she saw the look in Pen's eyes as she looked over these mechs and femme that could have –under any other circumstances- been her friends.
"Had he and I but met
by some old ancient inn,
we should have set us down to wet
right many a nipperkin!
But ranged as infantry,
And staring face to face,
I shot at him as he at me
And killed him in his place.
I shot him dead because...
Because he was my foe.
My foe, of course he was.
That's clear enough, although
He thought he'd 'list, perhaps,
Off-hand like, just as I…
Was out of work-had sold his traps…
No other reason why.
Yes, quaint and curious war is.
You shoot a fellow down
You'd treat if met where any bar is
Or help to half a crown." -Thomas Hardy. She finished her gaze, and turned back to her autobot friends.
"ENOUGH with the drama, mistress." Her minions hugged her. "Let's just get back home."
Minominee was abuzz with the craziest sort of excitement and madness you could imagine as they pulled in. The autobots rolled into the finish line, and cannons of confetti went off. People threw streamers from their windows, fireworks were shot into the skies. Pen woke up-she'd been catching up on her z's on the ride there- to a roaring crowd. She, Kahmelion, Clive, Phantom, Thing, Optimus's team and Sari, Jazz and the Jet Twins, Elita-1 and the Dinobots, Wreck-Gar, and Wasp were given a HUGE hero's welcome. Keroro had already gone back to his demension. As it turns out, he was the one who called Kururu on the Kero ball and got him to fix Skywarp and then get himself back home. The town was in celebration for the whole night, as well as the rest of the country AND the world. There were people dancing in the streets. The decepticons were picked up by Sentinel, who reported to have them lifted back to cybertron -also telling Magnus that HE had done it. However, Magnus was not without Earth transmission feed. Sentinel was DEMOTED~! When Jazz got back, HE'D be team leader. Good had once again triumphed over evil, and it was pretty slaggin' sweet.
Pen sat on the balcony of the hotel room. The mayor had given them a nice suite. They had some sweet digs, and she should have been sleeped more soundly than any of them.
However, she just wasn't getting there. She heard someone- or rather, some bot- down below.
"Couldn't sleep either, big guy?"
"Yeah." Bulkhead replied. "Mostly because you can't.
"I'm sorry for making you guys worry." She said, stepping into the hand that reached up for her. They sat together a while.
"By the way, just where WERE they hiding you? We looked everywhere. We never stopped."
"Oh! The mines."
The two could almost hear a small, rabbit-looking plushie upstairs mumble "I TOLD YOU SO" in his sleep. Pen laughed.
"…It's great to have you back, Pen." Bulkhead said. "I…I really missed you…"
"Not a day went by I didn't think of you guys…by the way…about that…there's something I gotta tell you."
"What?" He looked into her brown eyes. "What's wrong?"
"You see…I gotta leave again."
"WHAT! Where!"
"SH! You'll wake everyone up." There was a pause, and as the snoring continued, she continued. "You see, me and my friends have to go back home. To OUR world."
"Why?"
"Well…we have responsibilities. Also, there are tons of places we still have to go. To travel and explore. We had to leave some time, key lime."
The mech paused for a bit. "Then I'll go with you!" he blurted.
"Dude, you have responsibilities too. Your team needs you." She tried to calm him down. "Besides, it's not like we're never going to see eachother again. I'll come back to visit loads of time, and you can even visit us in our world. Ok?"
"yeah…but…"He scratched the back of his head.
"Dude." She held up her fist for a fistbump. "You and me are TO tight." And they did fistbump. "I'm gonna miss you."
…
"So, what are you going to do about Skywarp?"
"Well…" She scratched the back of her head. "He'd probably have no other option, seeing as he's currently unaligned. And I doubt your higher command would consider him. And I won't be able to stop Wreck-gar from tagging along."
"…but you won't bring ME along?" His face darkened. He'd just gotten his friend back, and now she was leaving and listing people she'd rather accompany her.
"You KNOW it's not like that." She hugged him the best she could. "Like I said, I'm not going to take you away from the team you have. You have people who need you way more than I do here."
"Alright." He retreated. A pale orange was coming up in the sky. "The sun's rising…"
"Yeah…" Pen stared on. It was just plain beautiful. Ok, if she didn't look like Deathly Hallows part 2 Harry before, she REALLY looked like it now.
The Autobots and Sari, Elita-1 and the dinobots stood there as the sun rose into the sky. Team PaperWyngz stood together, ready to depart with their formerly decepticon friend and bat-crazy garbage truck.
Ratchet stood and faced them. "Well, Pen, Kahmelion, Clive, all you haywire sparkplugs…when I first met you, you seemed like annoying, bat-crazy protoforms. Now…now I look at you as great allies. You take care of yourselves, you hear?"
Pen hugged the old mech. "We'll miss you too, old fart. Sensei Prowl?" She bowed to her ninja teacher, who returned the gesture. "Bomanos, amigos."
"A liscenced Mary-Sue and a hero." Sari crossed her arms. "You come by if you ever wanna TRY and beat my high score."
"Alright." Pen nodded. "Well, we're off…I guess…" Wasabi Ed, from his position in Pen's arms, started playing music out of his maw again.
"ugh." Kahmelion facepalmed. "Can we just GO already?"
Nope. Wreck-Gar took the mike. "Hey Gloria,
Are you standing close to the edge?"
"He's not going to…" Optimus raised an optic ridge.
"Yes, it would appear so." Prowl answered.
"Look out at the rising sun,
brink of your vision.
Eternal youth
Is a landscape of a lie.
The cracks in my skin can prove
As the years will testify."
Skywarp amped his own voice. "Say your prayers and light a fire
We're gonna start a war.
Your slogans, 'A gun for hire,'
It's what we waited for."
"Hey Gloria.
This is why we're all on the edge.
The fight of our lives has drawn this undying love."
Pen pulled out her guitar and got ready to rock. The music picked up, and all the autobots joined in.
"Gloria!
Viva la Gloria!"
Ratchet took the mike. "You blast your name in graffiti on the walls."
"Falling in broken glass that's slashing through these spirits." Prowl continued the verse. "I can hear it like a jilted crowd."
"Gloria!
Where are you, Gloria?
You made your home in all your scars and ammunitions.
You made your bed in salad days amongst the ruins.
Ashes to ashes of our youth." Kahmelion then interjected that they were really just a few days shy of 16 years.
Bulkhead took over. "She's smashing knuckles into winter.
GLORIA
As autumn winds fade into black."
Skywarp thought it might be fitting to sing the next. "She's the saint of all the sinners.
The one that's fallen through the cracks." He indicated himself.
"So don't put away." Man, Prime had a great voice. "Your burning light!"
This time, Pen and the rest of team PaperWyngz joined the chorus. "GLORIA!
Where are you, Gloria?
Don't lose your faith to your lost naivete.
Weather the storm and don't look back on last November
When your banners were burning down.
Gloria! Viva la Gloria!"
Elita one sang. "Send me your amnesty down to the broken hearted."
"Bring us the season that we always will remember." The entire ensemble rang out. "Don't let the bonfires go out.
So Gloria.
Send out your message of
The light that shadows in the night." Pen gave Bulkead, Wasp, Swoop, Prowl, Ratchet, everyone their last hugs for the time.
"Gloria.
Where's your undying love?
Tell me the story of your life."
And so, this Poof Chronicle was over. Team PaperWyngz poofed away with new allies, and a new day was dawning.
"Your life!"
Yes, a new day was dawning.
Pen sat at her computer. "Ugh…my EYES. It's like their barfing rainbows right now. Ah! Hey, readers-all THREE of you…anyway, thank you for reading Poof Chronicles 2: The Dorkcepticons. I hope you like this story, another chapter in me and my friends' travels through time and space. And, we got some new friends~!"
"I must say…" Wreck-Gar sipped his oil. "These crumpets are most adequate. More tea, Skywarp?"
"I've had sufficient, thank you."
"Uh…riiiiiight…" Kahmelion scratched the back of her head. Clive came in, carrying the minions.
"Well, we had a right few turnes in this one, didn't we?" He said.
"yeah, but it was mostly just a fun brainfart lacking a plot, but loaded with ADVENTURE~!" Pen formed the "imagination" ranbow over her head. "Anyway, thank y'all for reading, and God bless. C ya later.
By the way, I claim ownership of NONE of the songs used in this fanfic, and I do admit parodying some scenes from stuff I like, like the whole Boingloings thing. Also, I don't own the transformers, and I don't own the character Clive.
Anyway, PEACE~!" And so, the happy writer went back to the mallow tea ceremony.