I know, I could I could be better
I don't think I deserve this selflessness
Find your way into my heart
All stars could be brighter, all hearts could be warmer
Louder Than Thunder, The Devil Wears Prada

Chapter Nine: Confession

I sat at the edge of our bed, my face burrowed into my hands. Tears streamed down my face and I was almost completely sure that I looked like a total disaster. In a vain attempt, I bit my lip to try to hold back my tears and sobs. My parents faces were embossed into my brain, their features suddenly becoming unmistakably clear.

It wasn't a hard thought to imagine, either. Both of them standing side by side, my father most likely testing chemicals as my mother recorded them in their studious notebook. Then, Kimbley stalking into their laboratory, smacking his palms together and having their blood paint his pale skin. My blood. What would he do now that my parents were gone? Would he go after Caden, just to torture me like Archer had? Or was it my baby brother they planned to torture, by killing me in front of him?

"Faythe." My skin turned cold as Kimbley's voice cut through the still air.

"What the hell do you want, fucker?" I snarled, not bothering to restrain my profanity at him. My voice was louder than normal and had been mangled with dry sobs. His boots trudged closer as he approached to where I sat. I didn't bother to look up at him. If he was going to murder me now, I didn't want to see the satisfaction he received from having my blood spill on his fingers.

"Look up at me." His voice was void of the common emotions that he portrayed daily. He was standing in front of me, I could tell since his feet were in my line of vision. I refused his demand. Minutes passed by, but Kimbley refrained from leaving. His own patience was astounding to me; he didn't even repeat his statement.

When I felt the urge to bawl fade, I finally gave into his request. Kimbley's amber irises were softly gazing into my emerald ones. The look that adorned his face was unrealistic. All of his facial features were completely soft and unobstructed by a single obstacle. Kimbley kneeled in front of me, making his eyes level with mine. In a way, I felt like I was a little child that was being scolded for stealing a cookie before dinner. My breathing hitched with the intensity of his stare.

"No more secrets," He breathed out, his hands resting on my shoulders. I wanted to shrug them off, for I didn't want his bloody, filthy hands anywhere near me. Even if I did, he wouldn't release me. I could tell by the way he gripped them tightly. "I didn't know they were your parents until last night."

"How did you find out then?" I hissed, not trusting his somber and solemn words.

"Your pocket watch." Just by a sliver, I felt my eyes widen.

"Why did you have my pocket watch?"

"Archer makes Tucker and I put red stones in them, just like Ishbal." I had the strong urge to hit something, which propelled me into slapping Kimbley across his face. The force had made his cheek turn, but he displayed no form of anger as he swiveled to face me again.

"Faythe, I never would have killed them if I had known they were your parents." Kimbley never called me by first name so often. Usually, he called me 'Holy'. It was eerie, in a sense, to see him being so serious.

"Why does it matter that they were mine? Whether they were mine or not, they were somebody's parents you killed!" I howled, tears threatening to break through their dam. I bit my lip as I felt my chest heaving with the struggle to breathe.

"Because I don't want to see you like this," As if to prove his point, he brought his right hand to cup my left cheek, brushing away a freefalling tear with his thumb tenderly. "If they were still alive, then I would have so many things to tell them."

"Like what? How much of a fool their daughter is?" I screeched, no longer caring about holding back tears. If he got a guilt trip from them, then my job had been completed.

"More like how amazing she is," He brought his other hand to reciprocate his right one; now my face had been fully enveloped by his massive fists. "How she has changed my way of thinking, or how beautiful she is to me." Was I focused too much on my labored breathing, or had I heard him correctly? All of these things he wanted to say to my parents, but he was speaking of me. "Or how much I love her." Tears fell continuously down my face and didn't have any intentions to stop.

I finally caved in. My arms were resting just above my thighs as I curled into a ball, sobbing into Kimbley's shoulder. His arms encircled around my lower back as he pulled my entire body to his. I wept excessively as he murmured words of comfort. I swear, this wasn't real.

"You aren't Kimbley." I accused, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. He only chuckled.

"Why do you say that?" He questioned, pulling me back so he could gaze into my eyes, into the windows of my heart.

"Kimbley's not nice, or sweet or anything of the sort." I pointed out, making him scoff before wiping away the rest of my crestfallen tears.

"Because it's not something everyone gets to see."

"So I'm a special case?" I raised a thin eyebrow in amusement, before finally letting the scene soak into my skin. I was currently sitting sideways on Kimbley's lap with my torso facing his. There was barely three inches between our bodies, but the distance was still too much for me.

"Of course you are." He raised one hand to pat my head, relieving some of the tension in the air that had yet to dissipate. With that same hand, he had brushed back some of my hair to tuck it behind my ear. "So, you aren't going to question what I said?" He asked, the humor disappearing from his eyes. I tilted my head slightly.

"Question what?"

"What, were you daydreaming when I said everything to you?" Kimbley's original, sarcastic persona had returned. When I shook my head, he heaved a sigh before grabbing my cheeks and baring his eyes straight into mine. The tips of our noses were barely touching and his rough, labored breaths caressed my skin. "Faythe, you are one of the best things that have ever happened to me in my life. It amazes me that, despite everything I've done, I can still get something from life. If I hadn't killed your parents, I would tell them just how amazing you are, how beautiful you are and how much I love you."

I let his words sink in. Was this really the balance in our lives? I lose the two people I looked up to the most, to receive a man that speaks so highly of me. He killed thousands of lives and their loved ones, just to find one to love of his own. "Zolf…" It was the first time I had ever spoken his first name to him that I could recall. My hands folded over his that still rested on my cheeks as I gently pried them away. He gave a solid frown before I pressed my lips onto his. It was a very chaste kiss; we still had things to discuss.

"Zolf, I don't even know how to begin." I admitted, unsure of my own feelings for him. It was evident I had more than friendly feelings, but did I really love him?

"You could tell me what's going on inside that pretty little head of yours." He offered with a lopsided grin. I rolled my eyes. At the moment, I was contemplating what exactly my feelings were. I'd always been a worrywart when it came to him. And back in Ishbal, I felt empty when I had heard that he had been executed for treason.

"I'm unsure of my feelings." I announced, making his all-knowing smirk fall just a bit. "It's not like that," I added quickly. "I already know I have strong feelings, but I think to call it 'love' would be jumping the gun. How did you know you loved me?" I asked, hoping that his answer would help me reach my own internal confliction. He scoffed.

"Do you really think I'd go around telling everyone woman I had some sort of relationship with that I love her?" That was a given. After all, the infamous Crimson Alchemist had an image to uphold. If he suddenly began to act mushy towards every woman, the intimidation he brought with his bare presence would dwindle. "You're everything I'm not, complete opposites even, but we fit together."

"How so?" My inquiry held a tone with genuine curiosity.

"You bring out the best in me, and even though you don't realize it, I bring out the best in you. Well that, and I haven't blown you up yet, so I guess you're kinda special." With a soft chuckle, I pressed my lips to his cheek in a quick kiss.

"Zolf…I think that I've always loved you. I just never noticed the signs of it." He feigned a look of hurt.

"Nice to know that I'm not worth noticing." I rolled my eyes once against before nuzzling myself into the crook of his neck. His arms supported me as he pulled us both off the floor and laid us onto our makeshift, queen-sized bed. Kimbley laid in my usual spot, closest to the window, while I was in his usual spot. The two of us were facing each other, our eyes still locked into our intense gaze. His right hand - that wasn't being smothered by the mattresses - traced down my temple and cheek, just resting there.

"Kimbley, I have an assign-" Archer walked into our dorm room, his ice blue eyes staring at our comfortable position. Silence and confusion hung in the air, all the emotions spilling from Archer. He was at a complete loss for words.

"Archer, if you have no need for either of us, I suggest you leave." Kimbley spat, obviously annoyed at the albino man's intrusion. Said man narrowed his eyes.

"As I was saying, I have an assignment for you, Crimson." The Lieutenant Colonel hissed, his harsh glare still set in stone. With an aggravated groan, Kimbley brushed my lips with his before rolling off of our bed. He straightened up his creased jacket before snatching the manila folder from our commanders hands. Obviously engrossed in anger, Kimbley slammed the door to our dormitory, signaling his leave.

Archer was still here.

"I thought I told you to keep away from him?" He snarled at me, making me sit up in annoyance.

"Did you think I would listen?"

"Your ignorance will cost you your brother's life."

"Your ignorance will cost you your life." I retorted, suddenly feeling like his words were just empty threats. He just growled lowly and dangerously before exiting my dorm and slamming the door in the same manner Kimbley had.

After my encounter with Archer, I had decided that I should probably get some dinner before retiring back into my to my dorm. I headed off to the mess hall with my head blatantly lost in the clouds. Even people passing by gave me weird looks as I had the ghost of a my smile painted on my lips.

"You sure look happy." My head rolled to Mustang who had somehow ended up walking beside me as I entered the mess hall. His coal gaze held a curious aura, obviously emphasizing his statement from earlier.

"I am." I beamed as we sat down, a tray set in front of me. I took a bite from my dinner roll before swallowing and looking to Roy. "Is it a bad thing?" He shook his head.

"I just haven't seen you this happy in a long time," He paused before grabbing my wrist, taking a bite from my bread as well. I gave him a short glare before finished the whole thing, preventing him from taking any more than necessary. "Is it a boy?" I laughed.

"Yes, father."

"You and Havoc are back together?" He guessed. I shook my head, a grin still adorning my facial features. "Then who?" Roy was now fully engrossed with curiosity. With one shoulder, I gave a shrug with lopsided grin. He quirked a brow. On an unspoken cue, footsteps padded closer and closer to where we sat. The two of us looked up, to meet golden orbs that were only focused on me.

"I thought you had an assignment?" Kimbley shrugged before sitting on my right side, opposite to Roy. The Flame Alchemist looked curiously between myself and Kimbley, questioning eyes silently pleading for an answer. I just grinned.

I finished dinner with occasional conversation between my former commanding officer and the crazy guy I apparently fell in love with. It wasn't hard to see that Roy had raising suspicions of Kimbley. Either that, or he still had some serious issues with Kimbley. Probably both.

After cleaning up after myself, Crimson and I headed back to our dorm room, parting ways with my former commanding officer. "What was your assignment?" I asked, breaking the silent air. He chuckled a bit before wrapping his left arm around my shoulders.

"It's a secret." He whispered teasingly into my ear before kissing my temple. I sent him an undetectable glare. So much for no more secrets. Kimbley let out a slight guffaw before opening our dorm room, my jaw dropping at the sight. Broken books and bottles littered the carpet, along with a few burned pages. Not only that, but what was left in my luggage had been strewn about the room as well. I even saw a shirt of mine hanging out the window! "What the hell did you do while I was gone?" He asked, retracting his arm away before shutting the door.

"I-I didn't…" My voice trailed off as I walked towards the bed covers that had been thrown in disarray. There was a small, 3x3 post-it note somewhere in the chaos. Only two words had been written on said note.

'Love, Archer.'

"That bastard!" I snarled, grabbing my partners' attention. He glanced at the note, anger skimming across his features. Kimbley let out a sigh.

"Don't let it bother you, Faythe. He's fucking with your head." Despite his attempt to soothe me, I let out a growl before sitting at the edge of my bed. I tore the tiny post-it from his hands, tearing it to shreds out of fresh rage. Kimbley sat beside me, yet refrained from saying anything.

"He's pissed 'cause I won't listen to him." I hissed.

"About what?"

"I'm supposed to be staying away from you." Kimbley simply scoffed before wrapping his arms around my much smaller frame. In retaliation, I laid on my head on his chest, hearing his slightly quickening heartbeat.

"Don't worry about that fucker." He murmured.

"I'm trying." I stated very honestly. My breathing hitched as I thought of all the possibilities that Archer had in mind, just to make me obey. I felt Kimbley shift, making me look up at him in curiosity. "What are you doing?"

"C'mon, I know what will take your mind off things," There was an undeniably permanent smirk on his face. He sat me up straight, one of his hands still supporting my back. "Take your boots off." He reminded me as he kicked off his own pair of combat boots. I quirked a brow but followed suit nonetheless. After doing as Kimbley had directed me to, he lifted me up from underneath my arms and tossed me so my head rested onto one of our pillows. His arms were caging my head with his elbows locked and his knees straddling over my waist. His amber gaze was locked directly with mine.

"What in the hell are you doing?" I wondered aloud, my forest irises searching throughout his vast sea of gold. His smirk was still cemented to his lips, feeding me with a pang of terror. With still silence, Kimbley released his solid hold on his locked elbows before crushing his lips to mine in a heated kiss. In addition, his torso as completely pressed to mine. I could still feel the ghost of a crooked grin as his tongue ran along my lower lip. My mouth opened by the smallest fraction; he immediately responded by allowing himself in. Despite my nimble movements, I managed to tangle my frail fingers into his fountain of chocolate locks. With just the right index finger, I managed to rip out the hair tie that held his hair into his trademark ponytail.

I could feel his tongue attempting to memorize every crevice and it was quite easy for me to admit that everything felt absolutely right. To be here in his arms, to be underneath him, and having his lips glued to mine just felt right. I didn't feel guilt, I didn't feel anger, nor did I feel hurt. As odd as it was, I felt love. Or at least, what I could assume was love. My throat began to scream for breath, causing my hands to push off Kimbley's shoulders in a rough manner; the same way he worked to rid me of air. As I gasped for oxygen, my chest heaved, pressing more and more into his chest.

"Did it work?" Kimbley teased, his eyebrows raised in a suggestive manner. I tried to laugh, but it proved difficult through my labored breathing.

"I think I need a better distraction." His smirk was smothered by the passion he poured out in his next kiss. I smiled in return while my hands rested around his neck. His own hands removed themselves from around me and went to my military jacket, snapping the buttons off as fast as he could. It was only moments before he was able to push my jacket off, making me retract my arms from around his neck so I could be free of the blue nuisance.

A smile adorned my lips as his tongue explored my mouth just as it had been previously. He was most likely distracted at the fact that I was unbuttoning his jacket as well, which had been a bit easier since he tended to leave the top three buttons alone. A small gasp entered my mouth as it left his; it was probably from the surprise of suddenly being jacketless. Not that it had bothered him; he always found the standardized jacket slightly annoying.

With hardly any effort at all, Kimbley managed to flip us over to have me straddling over his waist. His solid grin seemed to be all the more prominent. His rough, masculine fingers tangled themselves into my locks, his palm resting along the nape of my neck. To my keep my self fully occupied, I tugged the brown undershirt that had been neatly tucked into his uniform pants. After freeing it from its confines, I pulled it completely off, revealing smooth skin. I absolutely had to give my two cents. I pulled away, a goofy grin on my face that made Kimbley raise a brow.

"Why was I mad?" He chortled at the sarcastic comment.

"Because you don't get to see me half naked everyday."

"Does that mean this is a one time thing?" With the ventured statement, I bit my lip. If this was a one time thing, I should slap myself. Right now. Kimbley let out a scoff before letting his hand travel from the nape of my neck to the valley between my shoulder blades. He didn't try very hard, but he managed to crush my chest into his while keeping his liquid gaze locked with mine.

"Why in the fuck would this be a one time thing?" Despite humorless statement, there was still just a ghost of a smirk on his lips as if there was just something so funny. "Let me correct myself; you haven't seen me like this yet, but you'll see it every single day."

"Oh God, what have I gotten myself into?" I joked before he pulled me back up to where we had left off. His hands worked my tank top off in under a minute and had flown to my belt buckle. The clinking of the metal signified that he managed to take it off and was confirmed with his fingers unbuttoning and unzipping my uniform pants. I managed to kick them off just as we had switched roles yet again. I reciprocated Kimbley's actions by giving his pants the same treatment, yet it had proved difficult as he managed to lave his tongue along my collar bone. Still, the task had been completed and the two of us were left in our undergarments.

Kimbley decided to remain on top and let his hand caress me down from my cheek to my shoulder. "Any objections before we continue?" He knew the answer, that much was obvious. Yet, I wasn't sure as to why he even asked. I suppose he was just being considerate. I shook my head. Without a moments hesitation, he sat me up with his hands enveloping my cheeks. Even though he didn't vocalize it, he didn't have to. There was love in his eyes.

Despite my lack of confidence, I snapped my bra off and rested both arms on Kimbley's shoulders. His chest rumbled with short laughter as I hid my face into the crook of his neck. "No need to be embarrassed." The murmur in my ear felt sweet, with just a tinge of sadism and malice. His hands gripped their way at my hips as he laid us back down into our previous spots. His eyes ventured through my exposed skin, a wolfish grin adorning his mauve lips.

Said lips smothered mine with passion, intensity, and a way of speaking for itself. There was no holding back anymore, no fears of rejection or lack of reciprocation. His tongue, upon impact, had ravaged my mouth with no mercy. As my form of participation, I nipped on his tongue as it explored the cavern it knew all too well. Despite my efforts to keep our lip lock solid, he traveled down to my collar bone. His teeth latched on immediately, biting the vast amount of available flesh.

His teeth sank into the juncture of my neck and shoulder, blood welling through the wounds. Seeing the crimson liquid seemed to excite Kimbley, for his tongue lashed out to not miss a single drop. Uncontrollable moans rolled off my tongue as he did so. Yet he hadn't stopped there. His lips passed over my bare breasts, trailing down my abdomen to be stopped by my last article of clothing. Kimbley hooked his fingers into the waistband of my underwear, pulling the cloth away from my hips.

"I can't wait anymore." He seethed as he tossed my boy shorts to join the rest of our strewn clothing. Without a moment to pass, he pulled off his own boxers. My eyes were shut until I felt his palm caress my cheek. Green eyes were locked with molten amber, searching for any hint of remorse. I shook my head before wrapping my arms around his neck once again.

Pain overwhelmed my senses as he gave his first thrust; the bulbous tip widening my walls. I grit my teeth, the enamel wearing down as they grinded further and further into each other. Kimbley's head was currently thrown back into ecstasy as his chest heaved; his raven locks traversing down his back. Silent moments passed, the both of us just basking in the scene. Agonizingly slow, Kimbley brought himself to reality to have his golden eyes gaze at mine.

"You alright, babe?" The pain was no longer set, instead it was just a feeling of being filled.

"Fine." I squeaked out, making him toss a lopsided grin to me. He gradually pulled himself back out, a sudden feeling of emptiness welling through. Once again, I grit my teeth as he thrust back in.

"You're okay, babe. You're okay." He murmured through clenched teeth before repeating his same motion in a more gentle manner. I no longer felt pain, just the constant rubbing of our fleshes against each other. Kimbley must have felt me relax, for he began to give his thrusts a rougher edge. His hands enveloped my hips as his rhythm increased in just the slightest speed. The pads of my nimble fingers began to run from the nape of Kimbley's neck down to his chest. I felt his muscles flex and twitch just beneath my touch. He brought his bare pectorals to my own chest, allowing us to feel each other as we breathed in each others scent.

Gradually, the feeling became natural instinct to me and the only thing my mind seemed to beg for was more. I wouldn't resort to begging Kimbley, though. I had too much pride for that. Instead, I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying to force him to go deeper. I felt him bare his teeth in a grin along the overly sensitized skin of my neck.

"What's the magic word?" He hissed out teasingly as he held himself steady, still buried deep in my walls. I groaned, trying to get him to move by bucking my hips; he just held them still. I tried to bring him closer by winding my legs even tighter around his lower back, but still no avail.

"I hate you." I snarled, scratching at his chest as he refused to move.

"That's not it." Kimbley retorted, making me roll my eyes. As a teaser, he began to pull out by the slightest fractions. The fact that I was currently clamped over his exiting member exaggerated the feeling of emptiness. I gave off a smile whine. "You have to beg, babe."

Thoughts of bitterness ran through my mind as I gnawed on my lip. Well, I guess I just have to swallow my pride. "Kimbley, move already." I hissed in defeat.

"Beg." Goddamn this stupid, sadistic man.

"Zolf J. Kimbley, will you please move before I tear your fucking hair out?"

"Sadist. How cute." Despite his blatant mocking tone, he had complied to my request tenfold by releasing his natural, sexual instinct. His pelvis began to smack against mine, yet it didn't feel like he was deep enough; I needed more of him. My hips bucked into him every time he thrust in, nothing seemed to be enough.

"More…" I breathed out my simple request, Kimbley responded immediately by giving my sides a bruising grip and pulling my flesh harder to his. Why wasn't it enough? His head had been thrown back in utter satisfaction, but I wasn't quite there yet. My legs were wrapped around his abdomen in attempt to bring him closer when he finally realized that I needed more from him. In retaliation, he swiftly threw my left leg to hook over his shoulder.

"Zolf!" By now, my throat was raw from all the hushed screams that attempted to escape. I could feel him as I was clenched around him. His groan proved that he felt every bit of pleasure as well.

"Fuck." He seethed between his gritted teeth. My fingernails stabbed into his shoulders as his rhythm began to break from its steadfast pace. Underneath his breath, I could hear him murmuring the same curse over and over again. I had already lost control by now, but the moment he came inside of me, my sanity had flown out the window.

My voice had broken free from its own attempt to stay hushed and I was sure everyone in our corridor could hear me. I didn't care. The volume had died down as Kimbley collapsed onto me. "Fuck…" He hissed again before nipping at my left ear. "I love you." Holding himself propped up on one elbow, his eyes searched mine. It was kind of hard for me to focus, considering he was still inside of me and refused to pull out.

"I love you too," I managed to pant out, grasping his cheek to pull him down for a kiss. "I really do." Kimbley finally allowed himself to lay down and pull out of me. I moaned as he did so, causing him to grin. There was a small glint in his eye as I finally recovered, and I knew all too well what it meant. "Go to bed, Kimbley. We aren't fucking again."

"Aww," He whined, despite resting his head on the pillow beside me. His amber hues were staring straight into the windows of my soul, but it was comforting. I allowed him to have my mind and body, the only thing left was my soul. Or maybe, he'd had it before and I now just realized it. "But you feel so good underneath me." I rolled my eyes before bringing myself close enough to tuck my head just beneath his chin. I felt his lips press into my hair.

"I love you." His arms wrapped around me protectively, just as my eyes shut from exhaustion as the words easily rolled off my tongue.

Author Note: AHHH I'M SO SORRY! IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE I UPDATED! I kinda took went on hiatus thanks to school and Junior year being the biggest pain in the ass. Lemons are difficult for me to write, on top of that but only because I don't want them to be too over the top. Um...review? :D

LoonyDooney: Faythe never officially broke up with Havoc...she kinda left him high and dry xD

xxDarknessxfallsxx: Your reviews make me happy, just sayin'. And when he dies, I'm not just letting him die, I got some tricks up my sleeve!

Disclaimer: I do not own any publicly recognizable characters, objects, or songs. I do, however, own part of this plot, Faythe and Caden Chevalier, Lacey and Haley (Although those two have only been briefly mentioned). Steal them, and I'll have Gluttony eat you.