If I could just have one last dance with you...

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Warnings: Slash, some strong language, homophobia, and in this chapter, minor mention of violence and some upsetting scenes.

Here is chapter 6! Have to admit, I'm a little bit proud of this one myself! Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Reviews much appreciated x

Chapter 6: It belongs

...Sunshine was walking away...followed by a darkness he couldn't see, couldn't be warned about...he fell to the ground, defenceless and alone...his blood was running and running and running...

Brian was ripped from his nightmare and his scream woke Sunshine. His breathing came out in harsh gulps and he was drenched in a cold sweat, he was shivering. Brian suddenly felt Justin rubbing his back comfortingly. "Are you okay?" Justin asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Brian answered almost unintelligibly. Justin noticed that Brian's muscles were really tense. Brian continued to breath heavily and he whimpered every so often; Justin realised that Brian was still half-asleep.

Justin continued to stroke down Brian's back and his arms, and Justin began to sing softly, lulling Brian soothingly back to sleep. Brian's breathing began to balance out again and Justin knew Brian had fallen back to sleep.

Justin put his arms around Brian and held him protectively. Justin began to really worry about Brian, what could have scared you so much?

As Justin fell back to sleep holding his soul mate in his arms; Brian's muscles never relaxed.

...

"So, I thought we could go and see them tomorrow, what do you think?" Justin looked up when he didn't get a reply.

Brian was just staring at the floor, he wasn't blinking.

"Brian?" Justin asked tentatively. "Brian?" He asked again, tapping Brian's shoulder. Brian suddenly looked up.

"Sorry, did you say something?" Justin gave Brian a look.

Brian rubbed his eyes. "I'm sorry." He apologised. Justin began to massage Brian's shoulders, shocked to notice that they were still as tense as the night before. They hadn't talked about the nightmare, Justin wasn't even sure if Brian remembered.

"You seem really distant lately." Said Justin.

"My minds' just been on other things." Said Brian, and Justin began to feel the same worry he'd felt before, he took Brian's hand and squeezed it tight. Justin was trying to send over some subconscious support, to somehow say without words that whatever was bothering Brian, he wasn't alone. He'd never be alone.

Brian smiled briefly at Justin, and Justin smiled back.

Without warning, Justin's hand began to shake slightly in Brian's. Brian immediately steadied Justin's hand, and Justin, looking down at his hand, laughed.

"Sorry," he laughed, "hands' just freaking out." When Justin looked up at Brian, his heart jumped right out of his chest and straight into an open fire.

The sheer pain in Brian's eyes.

Brian shook his head as if to clear it and laughed slightly, he kissed Sunshine tenderly on the cheek and went to walk away. As Justin watched him go, realisation dawned excruciatingly slowly as he suddenly understood.

...

"Justin!" Michael exclaimed, surprised to see Justin on his doorstep, and even more surprised when he saw that Justin had been crying.

Sat inside Michael's apartment, Justin began to speak.

"Michael, I know you hate me, and I'm okay with that, but I think we should meet at one mutual ground; Brian."

"Hey-" began Michael, quick to assure Justin of one fact, "I don't, hate you. I've just never had to share Brian before." Michael took a deep breath. "But you seem to have brought back the love in Brian that his parents squeezed out a long time ago, and...I'm grateful for that."

Justin smiled slightly. "The thing is," he began, "you know Brian better than anyone, so I figured you'd know what to do."

"What's the problem?" Asked Michael, all ears now that he knew his best friend might be in trouble.

Justin chose his words carefully. "He's been really distant, because he's been so affected by the bashing and he didn't tell anyone." Justin felt the tears fall involuntarily down his face. "Even though I was the one who was bashed and even though I can remember it now, the thing that hurts the most is Brian's pain." Justin wiped his eyes and told Michael something he didn't think he'd be able to tell anyone else. "Because it's like Brian had the shit kicked out of him, too."

Listening to Justin, Michael suddenly became very worried about his best friend, realising that Brian hadn't been okay, he'd just been too selfless to say so.

Michael then decided to tell Justin something he didn't think he'd be able to tell anyone else, because they wouldn't understand.

"...The night...you were bashed, when Brian got you to the hospital, the first thing he did was call me, I came running over and when I saw him, his face was covered in tears and he was covered in your blood." Michael winced at the memory. "He was staring, just staring, and not seeing anything, and the only thing he said to me was "this is all my fault"."

"Really?" Asked Justin.

Michael nodded. "Brian just needs time, he never really knew what it was like to love someone, and he never really knew what it was like to be loved by someone, so being hurt by love is probably the biggest shock his system has ever had."

Justin processed Michael's words and began to think about what to do.

Michael smiled slightly. "You 'no, this means we have something in common," Michael pointed out softly. "We'd both give our lives to protect Brian."

Justin smiled, and through this, Justin and Michael became mutual friends.

...

Michael knocked on the door of the loft and Brian answered. Brian and Michael felt so calm and contented just looking at each other again.

"Hey, Mikey." Said Brian, hugging him warmly. Michael didn't feel like Brian had changed, but then again, he was used to Brian's VIP treatment.

"I've missed you." Said Michael, following Brian into the loft and sitting down.

"I've missed you, too." Said Brian, walking to the kitchen, "I've just been busy."

"Justin came to see me today." Said Michael bluntly.

"What?" Asked Brian, surprised. "Was he...was he okay?" Brian continued, "I mean, because he still gets a little freaked out when he's not...you 'no..."

"...with you." Michael finished off, Brian didn't answer and looked down, Michael decided to answer Brian's question.

"No, actually, he'd been crying."

Brian's head immediately snapped up. "Why?"

Michael looked at Brian. "Because he's really worried about you."

"He shouldn't be worried about me!" Said Brian incredulously.

"Well, apparently you've been really distant and preoccupied an you've been having nightmares." Said Michael, and again, Brian didn't answer.

"I've been really worried about you, too." Said Michael softly. "You're my best friend and I love you, and you know you can tell me anything."

Brian sighed, he knew he couldn't keep anything from Michael.

"I just can't forget the night Justin was bashed," Brian told him, "it's like the images have been burned into my brain. I just didn't say anything because Justin needed me to be strong. Everyone, needs me to be strong, I'm the strong one!"

Michael walked up to Brian and put his arms around him.

"It's not your fault." he said, and in that moment, Brian knew something was seriously wrong with him, because he couldn't even bring himself to believe Michael.

...

Brian opened the loft door, having just returned home from work. He turned around and stopped as he saw his home. All of the lights were off, and there were dozens of lit candles on every surface, and scattered across the stylish dining table with the cooked meal, bottle of champagne and a single red rose. The space looked...pretty. Romantic.

But the brightest thing in the room to Brian was Sunshine, stood there waiting for him.

"What's...all this?" Asked Brian, gesturing to the room.

Justin picked up the single red rose, smelled it and then looked up at Brian.

"Chris Hobbs has hated me for years." He said In a calm voice. "For no reason , he just did." He continued. "He used to bully me like crazy when I was younger, he used to always threaten to kill me but I never took it seriously." He laughed slightly. "But when he got older, it became apparent that he had a screw loose," he continued, walking slowly up to Brian as Brian listened intently. "One time, he killed a cat, saw it, ran it over, got out of the car and picked it up. Then this one time he pinned one of my friends to the wall in Biology class, and one time he actually threatened to kill Daphne's parents, you can...ask her if you like." Wow, thought Brian, he must have been such a nut job.

Justin stopped walking for a moment. "Hobbs is unhinged, he would have attacked me for any reason. He just happened to be a slight homophobe." Justin finished sarcastically.

Justin then walked straight up to Brian.

"It is not your fault."

In Brian's brain, it occurred to him that if Chris Hobbs was such a psycho then maybe, just maybe, it wasn't his fault.

Justin looked deep into Brian's eyes. "I'm alive, because of you." Said Justin, "and I don't blame you, so, surely, that's all that matters." Justin saw the eyes he loved filled with an emotion he had never seen before.

"I love you more than my life," said Sunshine, "and I couldn't have died, because my heart belongs to you."

Brian was totally defenceless and Justin knew that he had to handle his lover as gently as possible.

"You don't have to be the strong one all of the time," Justin told him softly. "You're fragile inside, It's part of the reason why I love you so much." Justin stroked Brian's cheek tenderly as Brian stared at him, looking so very fragile.

"You are made out of flesh and blood like the rest of us-" began Justin, "and that's okay!"

He held the single red rose out to Brian, who tentatively took it. Justin softly stroked the rose petals with his fingertips, looking down at the rose.

"Delicate and beautiful," he said, he then looked up at Brian, his fingertips followed his eyes and they left the rose petal and stroked a soft path up Brian's cheekbone.

"just like you." He finished.

As Justin looked into Brian's eyes, Brian looked more vulnerable and open than Justin had ever seen him before, and Justin felt himself falling even more in love with Brian than he already was, if that were humanly possible.

He leant forward and kissed Brian's soft lips. Brian began to think that he'd never trusted anyone as much as he trusted Sunshine now, he'd never been able to let his guard down.

But kissing Sunshine, and being held by him, it was the first time in Brian's he'd ever felt safe, truly safe.

And in this moment, Brian began to truly except that the bashing wasn't his fault. He revelled in the weight suddenly lifted from him. His head was clear and his conscience was clear.

I couldn't have let my heart be destroyed, he thought, because it belongs to Sunshine.