~(kiss three)~

You are everything I want
'cause you are everything I'm not

A smile spreads across your face as you feel your hand in his. You carefully turn onto your side, trying not to wake him, and your blue eyes fall on his sleeping face. His cheeks are still pink from exhaustion from the activities that you two engaged in earlier.

When your brother told you about the Room of Requirements, he didn't expect you to use it as you have been. It's the only place the pair of you can escape to without anyone finding out (you are his little secret – the only thing he keeps from those friends of his.) And it has to be this way – you know that (Slytherin and Gryffindor? Wizard and wizard? No one would understand). Quite frankly, you don't understand it either, but you've long since stopped trying to fight the attraction you feel to him.

You've always been fascinated by him, from his first day at Hogwarts. You used to pass it off as just brotherly feelings (you've always wanted a younger brother), but that was wrong. It was only in your sixth-year that you realized that your attraction was far from brotherly and that was what triggered you to approach him shortly afterwards.

The answer behind your feelings was always obvious to you once you came to terms with them. James Potter is all the things you wish you could be, but know you were never destined to be (Gryffindor, on the right side, courageous, well-liked, e v e r y t h i n g). He's everything you know you'll never find in any of your "type" (in the witch your parents chose for you).

You let go of his hand and turn onto your stomach, your face looking in the direction opposite of him. This feeling always suddenly overtakes you once you've made love and he's fallen asleep – a feeling of complete loneliness (because you know better than to think this will last forever). It makes you feel as if there's a million miles separating you (good/ / /bad – dark/ / /light) despite the fact that he lies mere inches away from you.

A shiver runs through you as he, awake now, lightly trails a single finger down the length of your spine (back and forth). Regardless of the unhappiness that's filled you, your lips twist upwards into a smile.

You want to ask him the same question that eats at you every night you spend with him. You're afraid of the answer, though, because you have a feeling that it's not what you want to hear. It'll have to come up sooner or later and you've been putting it off for so long… (Will you still want me if I become one of them?")

He moves his hand underneath your bare stomach, hooking his arm around you, and pulls you closer to him. His breath moves your auburn hair as he exhales, tickling your neck. You've always had this feeling that he can sense when something is bothering you. Every time your mind drifts off to those dark thoughts, he brings you closer to him – as if to protect you (as if he's your lion that'll guard you from the evil that haunts you). This causes you to question why he even bothers with you (why he's ever bothered with you). He tells you, when you've asked this before, that there's just something different about you, something he likes (and other times, he tells you it's 'cause you blush like a little schoolgirl when he's around).

You know you don't deserve him – that he deserves someone much better than you'll ever be (than you could ever be). But you won't let him go until you have to (which will be sooner than you wish), even if it would be for the better. Slytherins do have a knack for taking things that don't belong to them…

"Rab?"

His voice clears your mind of these thoughts and you turn over to face him. You're greeted with his half smile and a peck on the lips. He leans his forehead against your own and looks into your cerulean eyes, but he doesn't say anything. After a moment of him studying you, "don't be so sad all the time" comes from his lips and you can hear the concern in his voice.

You force a smile as he kisses you again. If only it was a simple as he made it seem. But nothing's simple for you... If it were, then you wouldn't have let this start, you wouldn't have let it continue for months, and you wouldn't have let the emotion in his eyes morph from like to lust to something quite possibly more terrifying and real than it should be. So a new question seizes you, and you hope he can't read it in your tension:

What if you stopped drawing lines between you two and c h a n g e d?

The lyrics at the beginning belong to the band Taking Back Sunday's song "MakeDamnSure." They're one of my favorite bands and are definitely something to check out if you're into alternative music.

:)

Even though I've always been a big fan of JamesLily, I'm becoming quite fond of this pairing. I might have to write some more stuff for them after this fic is done.

:')

OMM, mew, I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough! Thanks sooo much for betaing and helping me with the ending.

*huggles*