If I could just have one last dance with you...

Disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk or any of the characters, they belong to Showtime and Cowlip.

Warnings: Slash, some strong language, homophobia.

Okay, sorry for the long wait, guys. My computer has been playing up, hope you all enjoy chapter 10!

Chapter 10: Only you could heal me

Brian, Justin, Jennifer and Molly were sat in Jennifer's home sharing a family dinner. Brian was so unused to this setting, aside from the dinners he'd shared with Michael, Debbie and Vic, he didn't really know what it felt like to be a part of a family. But he definitely liked it, he liked that he had a good relationship with Jennifer, even if he was pretty sure Molly was still afraid of him. He also liked the sneaky little glances at Justin from across the dinner table, and the subtle holding of hands and casual kisses that they could share in public. Brian had honestly thought that Justin would be afraid of any overt public displays of affection after the bashing, but he'd been more out and proud than ever. Ever since Justin had started using the computer that Brian had bought for him, Brian had been loving Justin's new attitude to life. It was quite: Suck on it Hobbs, I'm still here and Brian is never gonna let you get me. Also, Jennifer was pretty much gushing affection for Brian because of his involvement in Chris Hobbs' retrial, so they were all invited over to Jennifer's to celebrate, and as Brian soaked up the textbook scene in his head, he decided it wasn't such a crazy thought that, at some point in the future, he might want to start his own family with Justin.

"So?" Jennifer prompted, leaning forward in her seat.

Justin couldn't help the smile that immediately broke out across his face. "Oh, I talked to my professor, he said I could stay."

Brian and Jennifer broke out into cheering and applause and Justin blushed adorably in the way Brian loved, embarrassed to be the centre of attention. Jennifer got up and hugged her son tenderly, she was so very proud of him.

"That computer you found, Brian, it's genius." Said Jennifer.

"Luck." Brian corrected, Justin rolled his eyes, Brian couldn't seem to give himself any credit for anything.

"I'm getting a lot of strength in my hand again," said Justin, "I don't want to give up on art again, PIFA would have to try and stop me from coming back."

Brian couldn't help smiling infectiously, there was that fire and determination that he loved so much, it was back in Justin's heart, Brian was honestly shocked at how happy that made him feel.

He leant over and kissed Justin softly, Justin returned the kiss and when they broke apart, Justin was smiling, they stared into each other's eyes for a few moments until Molly spoke up.

"So, is he gonna steal Justin too?" She asked.

There was a momentary silence.

"What?" Asked Justin, confused, as Brian and Jennifer broke down into laughter.

...

Brian felt like he was intruding as Justin and Molly started playing, so he decided to go into the kitchen and join Jennifer.

Brian walked into the kitchen and Jennifer smiled, Brian picked up a cloth and began drying the dishes as Jennifer washed them.

"You don't have to do that." Jennifer berated good-naturedly.

"It's no problem, Justin is with his sister, so I figured I'd come and keep you company."

Jennifer smiled. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" She asked.

"An older sister," said Brian, "but...we don't really...talk."

"Fall out?" Asked Jennifer kindly.

"Sort of," Brian smiled, "not everyone's family is as understanding as yours when it comes to coming out."

"Oh," said Jennifer, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Brian smiled. "I know that people like you exist, that's good enough." He laughed slightly. "I guess I envy Justin that."

Jennifer didn't say anything.

"I'm really proud of Justin." Said Brian suddenly, looking at Jennifer, "it seems only a minute ago he was lying in that coma."

Jennifer nodded. "I know what you mean." She agreed. "We sat in that hospital together for two weeks talking about unimportant things, and then we heard him scream your name, and he was alive." She smiled.

"He's just been so strong," said Brian, "he pulled through and came back despite every obstacle that got in his way."

Jennifer looked up at Brian. "He never could have done it without you."

"Of course he could," Brian denied, "he's the strongest person I know."

"If you hadn't have come running in Justin's hospital room when he first woke up..." Jennifer told Brian, "he wouldn't have cared if he lived or died."

Brian looked down.

"Brian-" Jennifer continued softly, "you don't believe you're worth much, I can see that, but without you, my son wouldn't be alive. Your love healed him, you brought him back to life. You are worth a lot, because you did more than most people; you couldn't sleep because you were worried sick about him, you cared about him, you looked after him and you never gave up." She took a deep breath, "you were there for Justin every step of the way, and I want to...thank you for that."

Brian looked up at Jennifer, immensely touched by her words. "You're welcome." He answered softly, blinking back the tears he wanted to cry. Great, I'm a lesbian.

"And," she continued, "I wanted to apologise for my reservations when I first found out about your relationship with Justin."

Brian smiled slightly. "You were protecting your son." He said, "I know I'd do the same for mine, and I also know that not many people are lucky enough to have that." He looked down again.

Jennifer put a hand on Brian's shoulder affectionately and their eyes met.

"You're a part of the family, Brian."

He smiled.

...

It was that night at the loft and Justin turned all of the lights out and joined Brian in their bed.

"Sorry you had to sit through that." Said Justin apologetically.

"Why are you sorry?" Asked Brian, "I had fun."

Justin grinned despite himself. "You did?"

"Yeah," Brian answered truthfully, "you have a great family, even your sister seemed to like me, I mean, after we explained I wasn't the bogeyman."

Justin laughed. "Well, I'm glad you and my family get on so well."

"Jennifer told me I was part of the family today." He admitted, "she said some really nice things, she reckons my love healed you, apparently." He said, off-handed.

Justin stopped what he was doing and looked at Brian. "Don't...you think that?" He asked.

"No." Brian answered softly, pulling Sunshine into his arms. "you are so strong, you didn't need me." He stroked Justin's hair tenderly. "I am so proud of you, Sunshine."

A few tears of emotion spilled down Justin's cheeks.

"Hey..." said Brian softly, wiping Justin's tears away.

"I did need you, Brian." Justin half-whispered. "I'm always gonna need you."

Brian pulled Justin closer into him and Justin snuggled into Brian's arms. "I'm not going anywhere, Sunshine. You're stuck with me."

Justin laughed slightly. "What my Mom said... it's true," Justin began, closing his eyes and settling his head against Brian's chest. "Only you could heal me." He breathed softly, sleep taking him as he contently fell asleep in Brian's arms, realising he never wanted to be anywhere else.

"I love you," He finished softly, "more than anything else in my life, and I wanna be with you forever."

As Brian felt Justin hugging him tightly as he fell asleep, his brain was suddenly bombarded with a sudden, random, stupid, brilliant thought.

I want to be with you forever too, Sunshine.

...

The thought wouldn't stop playing through Brian's head.

He was at work and finding it hard to concentrate on anything, even his boss had asked if he was feeling okay.

Currently, working on his new account, Brian stopped what he was doing as his mind trailed off, he stared at a patch on the wall as he tried to decide...

"Brian?" A sudden voice ripped him out of his head.

Brian looked up to see Cynthia staring worriedly down at him. "I've been calling you for the last ten minutes." She said.

"Sorry," said Brian, smiling apologetically. "I'm just...pre-occupied."

"Is something wrong?" Asked Cynthia, instantly worried. "Are you okay? Is Justin okay?"

"Justin's fine." Brian assured her, contented that he could finally say that.

"I..." he sighed.

"Brian?" She asked, "you can tell me."

"I...I want to spend my life with him, Cynthia."

"Awwww." Said Cynthia.

Brian rolled his eyes. "I just...I just don't know if I'm gonna be enough for him."

"What makes you think that?" Asked Cynthia, in a way that said that Brian shouldn't be thinking like that.

"Because..." said Brian, running a hand through his hair. "I've been emotionally closed off most of my life, I spent the first year I knew him treating him like shit, and now I expect him to spend the rest of his life by my side?" He laughed at himself.

"Justin loves you," Cynthia reminded him, "and you love him," she sighed and sat down at Brian's desk.

"You know what I think?" She asked him, "I think you're scared. Scared that if you commit to someone, you're gonna get hurt."

Brian sighed but didn't answer, mainly because he knew she was right.

"I just don't want to fuck this up." He admitted.

"You won't," Cynthia smiled, putting a hand on Brian's cheek. "You are Brian Kinney, you always find a way to pull it off."

...

That night, Brian walked into the loft and placed his coat and briefcase on one of the bar stools, he was just about to walk to his bedroom and unbutton his suit jacket, but something in the living room caught his eye.

Justin was sketching, in his sketch pad.

"What...are you doing?" He asked softly.

Justin looked up at smiled involuntarily, because Brian had come home. "Drawing." He laughed, turning back to his sketchpad.

Brian walked over and looked down, and couldn't help smiling when he realised that Justin was drawing him.

"You're drawing." He said.

Justin grinned. "Yeah, my hand still gets a bit tired, but, I'm getting there, I can draw normally a little bit."

Brian immediately pulled Justin up from the sofa and kissed him passionately. When the kiss ended Justin was breathless and struggled to regain his balance.

"What...was that for?" He asked breathlessly.

"I knew you would get through this." Brian answered.

Justin grinned. "Well, in rehab you promised me that there was hope." He reminded Brian. "You were right." Justin got up from where he was sitting and went to the fridge to make Brian something to eat, he must have had a long day. Justin liked looking after Brian and doing things for him, it made him happy. "I guess I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have been there with me." He finished , off-handed.

I'm always gonna be here. Brian thought, and in that moment he made his decision.

"Sunshine, will you marry me?"

Justin immediately froze and stopped what he was doing, he couldn't believe what he had just heard, and wasn't entirely sure if he had heard Brian right.

Brian stared at Justin's frozen back uncertainly, not sure what Sunshine would say.

As soon as Justin's thought process began to come back to him, he turned to Brian.

"What?" He asked softly, disbelievingly.

"I asked you to marry me," said Brian more confidently. "To make me the happiest man in the world and stay with me forever."

"But..." began Justin, "marriage..you...it goes against everything you believe in." He said finally.

"I was wrong," said Brian, walking towards him, "you opened my eyes."

Justin shook his head. "Brian, I don't want you to change everything you believe in to make me happy."

"I'm not asking you to make you happy." Said Brian honestly. "At least, that's not my only reason." He reached Justin and stroked his hand down Justin's cheek. "I love you," he began, "and I want to be with you, I want to be with you forever, and," he took a deep breath. "I want to stand up in front of everyone and declare my love, my commitment, to you. And I want to know that you will do the same, and be mine forever, like I want to be yours."

Justin stared into Brian's eyes, he had never been more touched by anyone's words than he was right now. But Justin knew that anyone could have said what Brian had just said to him and it wouldn't matter, it was the fact that Brian had said it, Brian was all Justin wanted in the world and nothing else mattered.

"You...you mean that?" Asked Justin softly.

"Sunshine," began Brian softly, repeating his words from months before. "I may be a lot of things, but I am not a liar."

Justin smiled, tears of joy streaming down his face. "Okay." He finally said, his voice breaking.

"Okay what?" Asked Brian playfully, fighting to keep his emotions in check.

"Yes," Justin laughed, "yes, I will marry you."

Brian could no longer contain his smile as the two met in an euphoric kiss.

"I..." began Brian, speechless. "I can't believe you said yes."

"I want a lifetime with you, Brian," Said Justin between kisses, unable to keep himself off of his lover, his fiancé, "with no more memories stolen from me."

"There won't be, Sunshine." Brian promised, with love in his heart and yet another idea in his head.