Hello there peoples! I apologise for the long wait for the next update. I was on holiday and then it took me forever to finally get on to the computer. SORRY! But to make up for it, I've already written the next 3 chapters so I'll upload them as soon as possible : ) enjoy- bg.97 p.s Well done to agent 143 who correctly told me that Jared is named after the insanely awesome Jared Leto from 30 seconds to Mars.

(Carly POV)

It's 2:45 in the morning. Where is he? He can't possibly still be at Sam's, could he? I am going crazy here; it's like space madness all over again! Finally, I hear the door open. Thank God! I was beginning to think that he had slept over at Sam's- which would've been the worst thing imaginable.

I get out of bed and put on a dressing gown to cover up my nightie. Then I rush down the stairs to the living room. Freddie is sat on the sofa with a beer in his hands. He's looking blank and distant.

"Freddie, I've been worried sick! Where the hell have you been?"

He looks up at me and answers calmly, "Bushwell."

Instantly, I understood. Just hearing the single word explains everything. Bushwell was our old home and old memories. It was our old life. The days of icarly were far behind of us but Freddie thought of them often- I could tell. We were only in our 30s but it was as if we had lived a hundred years with all that had happened in our lives. As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes missed the simplicity of our teen years. "Ha," I think. Our teen years were on the other side of the universe from simplicity! But still. The old days were fun and careless. It was, in theory, simple. Sam, Freddie, Spencer, Gibby and I. All we needed was each other.

But then Sam had to go and ruin all of it by kissing Freddie. It's great. I think it's awesome. What a load of rubbish! The only reason she liked Freddie was because it was so wrong. Like Romeo and Juliet. They knew they couldn't be together and that fact alone compelled them to be so.

Of course, Sam wasn't the only one to blame. Freddie was the one who had suggested eloping. In a way, it was his fault that icarly had finished. I mean, we said that we'd air an episode every time I was home from college. Little did I know that Sam and Freddie were off getting married and starting "A new Life" in San Francisco. It made me sick. It was a complete and utter betrayal of my trust.

"Hey Sweetie, let's go to bed." Freddie says as he chucks his empty can of beer into the bin.

I nod and kiss him before we go up the stairs to our room.

"So what happened?" I ask.

Freddie sighs before telling me, "My son hates me. He thinks I just abandoned him and his sister and their mum. I can't believe that. He hates me! I just…" he pauses.

"Go on," I encourage him, wanting to know what he has to say.

"It's just that I try so hard to let them know that I care. Jared and Cat, Tyler and Harry too. I want to be a good father, and in way, I always kind of thought that I was. Well I was there for every step of the way. I loved him and I honestly thought that he knew that. I was there for his birth, his first day at school, first fight, first crush. Same for Katie. Tyler and Harry were a completely different experience to raise but they still know that I'm their father and that I love them. That I'll never leave them, no matter what."

I nod every so often throughout his whole little soliloquy. I knew that Freddie meant every last word he said, which is why those last few sentences hurt even more. I think back to my conversation with Tyler earlier on today…

(FB: Earlier That Day)

"Wait, what?" I look at Tyler as he says this; the confusion is etched onto his face, so I repeat the information I just gave to him.

"Freddie isn't your father. He doesn't know though so please don't tell him!"

"If Freddie isn't, who the hell is?"

"His name is Robert Hill. He was a professor at Seattle Tech. I met him through work whist he was claiming for a divorce with his wife. We began to like each other and started a secret affair. Then a month before your Dad and I got back together, I got pregnant. I just told Freddie that you came a month early."

Tyler looked blank as he tried to take this all in. I just felt relieved to have got it off my chest.

"What about Harry?"

I sighed. "No, he's not Freddie's either. His father is a man named Mark James". I quickly added, "Please don't let this change your relationship with Freddie. He still believes that he is your real father."

And then I heard a scoff come from Tyler.

"Excuse me!" I said horrified.

"You know that the only reason Dad stays here is for Harry and I. How do you think he'd feel if he knew we weren't actually his children? We can all see that you and Dad aren't in a happy marriage; you might as well put it on a neon sign. And whilst you're at it, put up a billboard that reads "Freddie still loves Sam!""

I slapped him as hard as I could. I always said that I would never hit my children but it was a natural reaction to the brutal words flying from his mouth like sharpened daggers. And to my horror, he continued,

"Oh please Mum, don't even try to pretend that it's not true! He's always loved her and always will. The only reason that they broke up was you. YOU. Dad and Sam would probably still be married if they could be .And you know what? I wish that they were. At least he'd be happy."

I felt as if my heart was clawing the inside of my chest, trying to escape the hellhole my soul was.

"Go to your room."

As soon as he left the room, I broke. Everything that had been running through my mind for years had just been said aloud by a ten year old.

Once more, at three in the morning, I feel the clawing of my heart. But I ignored it. I look over to Freddie lying beside me. Oh well, I guess my heart will never get the escape it truly deserves.

So… What did you think? Well the only way I'll know is if you review. So do it! Bg.97 x