Yay! All of the reviews made me so happy! Review this one too please!

So this one is about Soi Fon- as is obvious from the title...

If I owned Bleach, Soi Fon's Bankai would be better. I mean honestly... I love the woman, but a Bankai that can only be used once every three days is pretty pathetic. Besides, a long range Bankai doesn't fit with her character. Oh well... I don't own Bleach, so Soi Fon's Bankai will stay as it is.

Soi Fon

Day

Soi Fon, the Captain of Second Division, and Commander of the Stealth Force, strode purposefully down the street. Her Vice Captain, Omaeda, trudged along behind her, crunching on cookies and spilling crumbs on her hair. A small frown creased her thin face, as it always did, for various reasons. One was that Omaeda was getting crumbs in her hair, which she hated; another was that Yoruichi had gone back to the real world, and, maybe the most annoying of all, that Yachiru and some other people were following her. And they had cameras! Thin hands clenched into fists by the small woman's sides. She hated cameras, and she wasn't sure why Yachiru was filming her. A couple more turns down the maze like corridors of the Seireitei towards the Squad Two Barracks, and Soi Fon had decided that she had had enough.

Suddenly she stopped and whirled around, the two white braids that hung down beneath the rest of her short, black hair whipping around, the golden rings attached to the bottom gleaming dramatically in the sun.

"Uh, oh," Yachiru said, clapping both hands together. "Soi Fon looks mad!" Omaeda hurried to get behind his captain again, because he knew that she would kill him if he stood in front of her.

"Why are you following me?" the ice in Soi Fon's voice was colder Captain Hitsugaya's zanpaku-to in its Bankai form.

"You're today's star on the Seireitei's new show, Hidden Camera! How do you feel about this honour?" Soi Fon was rendered speechless momentarily, before rage flashed in the depths of her deep green eyes.

"Go away and leave me alone."

"That's weird, Bya-chan said the same thing!" Yachiru thought about it. "You two are really alike!"

"Go. Away." Soi Fon started to turn away, but Yachiru leapt from the ground and wrapped both arms around the small woman's neck.

"You can't refuse! Old Man Yama said you had to!" Yachiru used the same trick that she had used on Byakuya, waving a slip of paper in front of Soi Fon's eyes.

"Anyways, that's the show host, Seru," a tall thin woman gave Soi Fon a bright smile and a wave. "And the cameramen are Gaichu Maneru, and Tsugi no Maneru." The two cameramen nodded to Soi Fon. "They're twins," she added, just in case Soi Fon was stupid and hadn't already figured it out. Yachiru jumped off of Soi Fon's shoulders. "Have fun!"

Without sparing the pink haired menace another glance Soi Fon turned away and started walking again, Omaeda running around behind her again. Seru and the Maneru brothers followed her.

"So, where are we going today?" Seru asked. Soi Fon ignored her, but Omaeda took the liberty of answering.

"We're going to the Squad Two Barracks," he informed her. "The greatest place in the Seireitei to work, thanks to me of course." Soi Fon rolled her eyes.

"Really," Seru raised her eyebrows. "And why is that?"

"You'll find out." Omaeda said. "We're almost there."

A street later, and the five of them walked into the barracks, the doors sliding open automatically when they approached. Soi Fon sat down at her desk immediately, but Seru paused to admire the heated floors.

"Nice," she murmured. "I wish my office had heated floors." She glanced over at the doors. "And automatic doors too."

"Everybody does," Omaeda told her. "We're thinking of putting in open air spas too! Of course, my family paid for all of the renovations to be done."

"Omaeda," Soi Fon said, barely glancing up from the paperwork in front of her.

"Yeah?"

"Deliver these to the Squad Four Captain Unohana immediately." She ordered, holding out a stack of papers. "They're about the recent amount of Stealth Force members who have been hospitalized. Wait there to see if she has any reply before you return."

"Yes Captain." Omaeda took the paper from her, and left, the doors silently sliding open in front of him, and shut just as quietly when he had passed through.

"So, Soi Fon," Seru, perched herself on the edge of the Captain's desk. "How are you doing?" Soi Fon glared at Seru, and then lifted the edge of the desk so that Seru tumbled off. By some miracle of fate, the papers on the desk stayed put.

"Ouch," Seru complained, standing up and dusting herself off. "That wasn't very nice!"

"I'm not a nice person."

"I bet that if Yoruichi were to sit on your desk, you wouldn't push her off."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"Miss Yoruichi is elegant, beautiful, calm, and dignified, whereas you," Soi Fon glared at Seru, "are not."

Seru winced. "That wasn't nice either. Anyways, how about we get into the interview portion of this now?" She dragged over a chair so that she was sitting across from Soi Fon.

"Interview?"

"Yeah, it's part of the show. Anyways, First Question. Did you know that there's a Soi Fon fan club?"

"That's ridiculous- next question!"

"There is though."

"Next question."

"Second question! How do you feel about Yoruichi staying with Urahara in the human world?"

"That no good scum…" Soi Fon scowled. "He is not good enough for her very presence. Urahara is lower than the dust on Miss Yoruichi's shoes."

"I've heard that you think everybody is lower than the dust on Yoruichi's shoes."

"Urahara's even lower than them." Soi Fon's eyes narrowed. "Please refer to Miss Yoruichi with respect. Call her Lady Yoruichi, or Yoruichi-sama."

"I'll call her what I want to- ack, no please don't, ow, that really hurts, ouch stop it!" Soi Fon sat back down at her desk with a dignified air about her, while Seru dragged herself up off of the ground. Bruises were starting to form over her face, neck, arms, and probably other areas that were not visible at the moment. "I'll call her Lady Yoruichi," Seru mumbled. "So," she brightened up a bit. "Third Question. Do you have any romantic feelings for Urahara?" Her smile faltered when Soi Fon's eyes narrowed. "No, no don't beat me up again, I'm sorry, ack, ouch, ouch, owie!" Soi Fon kicked the woman hard in the ribs for good measure, before sitting back down at her desk. "Kicking a woman while she's down," Seru said, mumbling because of the swelling around her mouth. "That's low."

"But necessary," Soi Fon replied.

"Fourth Question. Why exactly are there heated floors in every room?" Soi Fon gave her a 'you should know this' stare.

"They're so that it is more comfortable for Miss Yoruichi when she visits here in her cat form." Soi Fon replied.

"Ah… I should have known. It's all about Yoruichi isn't it?"

"It's Yoruichi-sama to you!" Soi Fon screamed, getting up and kicking the crap out of Seru again.

"Damn it woman! You're scary!"

"Of course. I'm of the Fon family after all."

"Fifth Question." Seru no longer seemed so happy. "What's your favourite food?"

"Fish." Soi Fon replied.

"Finally, a straight answer. Sixth Question. What's your favourite colour?"

"Amber, like Miss Yoruichi's beautiful eyes." Soi Fon looked a bit dreamy, probably imagining Yoruich's eyes.

"What is with your obsession with this Yoruichi woman?" Seru realized a moment too late that that was probably the wrong thing to say.

"Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi!"

Omaeda arrived just in time to prevent Soi Fon from killing Seru. Seru wouldn't go near the other woman for the rest of the day, and it came as a relief to her when the day was over, and she could leave. Soi Fon was also relieved. Omaeda had stopped her from killing both that annoying woman, and her creepy followers, who had had their cameras on the whole time. She had managed to break one of the cameras though, when Seru said something about the Soi Fon Fan Club loving that shot. She hadn't managed to break both though, as Omaeda wouldn't let her. At the end of the day, Soi Fon stormed out of the barracks. Seru hung back to talk to Omaeda, probably not wanting to go anywhere near Soi Fon. Finally she left, with the Maneru brothers lugging the camera stuff with them.

Night

When Seru stumbled into their secret room, everybody else was already there. Yachiru, Ikkaku and Yumichika stared at her for a moment, before Ikkaku said, "I told you it was a bad idea to interview Captain Soi Fon."

"Shut up," Seru snapped grumpily, dropping into one of the remaining chairs. "This had better be worth it."

"Maybe she'll strip," Ikkaku said hopefully.

"Shut up you perv!"

"Hey, you were the one who sat there wowing at Byakuya when he was shirtless!"

"Yeah, just shirtless. Not naked!"

"Shut up you two," Yumichika hushed them. "The cameras are turning on." Six mouths dropped open as the screens flickered and images appeared.

"Wow…" Ikkaku finally managed.

"Yeah," Yumichika agreed.

"Does anybody have candy?" Yachiru asked. She hadn't seen the screens yet, as she had been preoccupied drawing a picture of Kenpachi on the floor.

"Yeah, here," Seru tossed her some distractedly. "That's going a bit far," she said eventually.

"What's going a bit far?" Yachiru jumped up in between them, and stared around at the screens. "Oh… that's really weird."

"Yeah…"

"Wow…"

"That is a lot of Yoruichi stuff."

"Yeah…"

"That's just… obsessed."

"Really obsessed."

"You know, I think that the Yoruichi wall hanging is a bit too much." Seru commented.

"I think it all is too much," Ikkaku informed her. "Especially the huge pile of Yoruichi plushies."

"I thought she just collected cat stuff. Where'd she get the ones with the human Yoruichi?"

"I don't think I want to know."

"This obsession is so unbeautiful," Yumichika sniffed.

"You think almost everything is unbeautiful." Ikkaku pointed out.

"That's because it usually is."

"Shut up you two, the psychopathic maniac is entering." The room went silent as Soi Fon walked into her living quarters.

"I'm home!" she said brightly. She smiled at the many Yoruichi's who were all watching her, before doing exactly what Ikkaku had hoped that she would do. She began to take off her clothes. Seru grabbed Yachiru and covered her eyes, gently lowering the girl down so that she couldn't see the screens anymore.

"How about you draw you and Kenny now?" Seru suggested.

"But I wanna see!"

"I have more candy!" Seru protested desperately.

"Okay!" Yachiru agreed. Seru gave her more candy, and left the girl to draw on the floor.

"Aw, she left her underwear on!" Ikkaku protested. Seru kicked him in the face.

"Pervert!" she screamed at him.

"I'm all out of candy," Yachiru said, tugging on Seru's robes.

"How about you bite Ikkaku on the head?"

"Okay!" Yachiru clamped onto Ikkaku's head.

"Ow, that was low Seru- ouch you little brat stop biting me!"

"I hate to break it to you but… you really deserved that," Yumichika informed Ikkaku in his most matter of fact voice.

"I'll kill you!"

"Shh… something's happening."

Soi Fon sighed, still nearly naked, before taking a running jump and landing in the humungous pile of Yoruichi plushies. Ikkaku stopped trying to get Yachiru off of his head, and just watched the screens.

"As disgusting as this may be, you've got to admit that she's got a nice body," he said. Seru glared at him. "What, that is a good observation! Am I not allowed to comment anymore?"

"No, you're not."

Soi Fon lay in the pile of plushies for a while, before getting up and crawling underneath of the covers of the bed, which had a big picture of cat Yoruichi and human Yoruichi on it. The sheets had black cat patterns, and the pillowcase had pictures of Yoruichi's smiling face all over it.

"Obsessed!" Seru exclaimed as Soi Fon curled up and went to sleep.

"Very." Yumichika and Ikkaku agreed.

That's it for this one! Hope you liked!

Again, please review!

I'm doing Matsumoto next, so if you have any questions... give them to me, and I will try to use them!