9. Freedom

'Freedom' she thinks wistfully 'is only a dream that we, who live in reality, hope to get it, but like dreams, freedom is always slipping past our fingers just as if it were the water-which still flows through the gaps in our fingers when we want to grab hold of it'. She sighs, feeling a bit tired after 7 long hours of carrying her heavy axe, she wonders what would her life have been if she were an ordinary woman.

She would've probably been a brunette, not that tall, maybe around 5,4 ft or 5,5 ft. Her eyes would have still been brown, just not as light as they were now, maybe they would've been a shade of dirt brown or probably the same muddy brown eyes that Rose had. She would have been living with Rose while her sister would be married, and probably she'd have a niece, and maybe a nephew. And when Sparrow would find the right man, she'd marry him, live a simple life, not worrying if he'd make it by the end of the day. And she'd be an ordinary house wife who'd cook from time to time, clean the house, worry about simple matters, and maybe learn the trade of gossiping. And maybe a few years later, they'll start a family, and she'd let her children play with Luke, and maybe his litter of pups -if he has any that is- as well.

But Sparrow shook her head as she thought bitterly 'there's no point of such fantasies, because for people like me and Rose, and the other 3 Heroes, there's no such thing as ordinary, and we have to suffer a life of bloodshed to remind us that even though we are Heroes, we are still murderers, and if we are not good, then we are considered monsters just as easily by the people of Albion.' She took a longer drag of the pipe before continuing to be lost in her thoughts 'Ungrateful bastards, that's what they all are, I just wish I had a choice, even if it was not even real, I would've have rather chosen to be a Hero than been born one.'

She sighs softly, her gloved fingers twirling with her soft blonde -now- hair, as she wishes they all had a different life, and curses Theresa for giving her such a horrid fate. But she knows that somehow, this is all her fault, because they would have never been found, and maybe for even a moment, she and Rose could have lived longer lives as ordinary poor girls, looking for a home.

She bites her lips hard, tearing into the skin, and blood begins to emerge from the torn skin, and Sparrow cries. She cries for the freedom she'll never have, the husband she'll never get, the sister she's lost, the friends she'll never see again, and her dog -and Sparrow chokes on her tears now- who died defending someone like her.

She wasn't worth it, no one was, 10 years of her life thrown as a captive of the Spire, where she was forced to kill, or lose her memories, and what for? To save Garth, who was grateful-but still the scars remained, and the collar mark lingered on every day.

She gave up her voice as a vow of silence until she avenged Rose's death, and when she regains it, she thinks its better to stay quiet.

She remembers the day at the Spire after Logan's defeat, it was when they were all gathered, and it was also, the first time that Sparrow spoke in 20 years. 20 long and painful years, compared to her 6 years as a girl who had a sister, and friends. When they hear her voice, Sparrow admits that the situation would've been better if she had not been yelling at Theresa with the other 3 Heroes present.

She yelled about how Theresa was to blame for all that happened to her & Rose, even poor Luke. She also told Theresa, that if it were not for her, maybe a lot of things would have happened. She remembers cursing her, because Sparrow loathed the fact that this woman was -yes was, because she can't consider Theresa family even if the sky was to become red and the ocean to turn black- her aunt. She also utters how if she had not met Theresa or listened to her -back when she was 6, and Rose was 8-, then maybe Rose would have lived longer, and she wouldn't have to had to keep a vow of silence for 20 years. She also remembers screaming something about how avenging her sister wasn't worth it, because it was always Theresa who benefited from whatever they'd do as Heroes.

She swears to Theresa that she would never forgive her, as long as she was still breathing -but by now, she is already crying, looking very distressed-. She recalled how Hammer had tried to interrupt her and say something to calm her, but she had glared at the older woman and told her "Don't Hannah" making sure to utter the monk's name and not her alias. She notes that Garth's silence is understanding, and she welcomes it, and ignores the way Reaver is looking at her with so much understanding, and pain.

She laughs hollowly before announcing to all 4 of them "The Sparrow you all knew has died, and this Spa-no I, will not be a Hero, the people of Albion be damned for all I care, let them suffer like I did. Even after everything, Theresa you still make me contradict my choices, I was going to choose 'Wealth', but knowing it was from you, I would have probably been too distressed to even use money that came by your power. And even if I choose 'Love', you would have taken them all away from me somehow. So I ignored my feelings of regret and chose 'Sacrifice' because a 1000 men and women, at least deserved a happy ending, if I could not get one." She pauses before choking on a sob and continues voice bitter and cold "And what hurts even more, dear Aunt*, was the fact that I would never be free of the burdens of a Hero, so take away my glory, take your money, and keep your wishes to yourself, because to be honest, I'd rather shoot myself than have anything to do with you, and being a Hero. I would have said I was grateful for you helping me for 10 years, but what pains me, is that you helped me because you wanted to defeat Lucien, the reason for Albion's suffering."

She cuts herself off, and wipes away her tears before telling Theresa -and only Theresa- "You never cared for any of our suffering. Not even the fact that Hannah had lost her father because we were there, not that Garth had to suffer years of imprisonment, nor the fact that no matter how rude Reaver is, he carries the most burden's and guilt out of all of us, and living for more than a hundred years does that to a man, Hero or not. I truly am sorry but I, like you, who denied me of ever having a family will severe our connection, so that you will not find me, and of course the same goes for you 3." and by now she is already facing the other 3, whilst she gives Theresa her back "Go enjoy your freedom, because I'm sure by then, you guys will be released of your burdens of being a Hero, unlike I, who is cursed to be alone, even in death & beyond".

She feels the piercing pain at severing her connection, and ignored how blood is trickling, from all sides of her head and is flowing down her face. She cuts her long hair using a beautiful sword, and winces as she recollects the memory of Rose telling her to grow her hair long, and to stop looking like a tomboy. She hates how her throat hurts her, and how her voice sounded a bit scratchy at the end of her speech.

She turn to them and gives them a beautifully broken smile before telling them softly "For all the pain I've been put through, and may have caused you 3. It was worth it sometimes. I'm glad to have met all of you 3. Once again, be free in my stead, that's my last wish for you. Because it looks like Freedom ain't in my destiny at all." but it is said in a somewhat ironic tone.

And Sparrow ignores the strands of light blonde hair on the floor, and how the blood flow isn't stopping, and walks away, ignoring how proud Hannah is of her, as the older woman is crying silently. She notes Garth is giving her a wry smile, as Reaver grins and mouths to her "Good Luck, my Little Rebel", but she knows his eyes are betraying the sympathy and pity he has for her, because she knows he understands. She knows Garth wouldn't ever reveal if her words affected him, and avoids looking at Theresa altogether, ignoring the soft whisper that leaves the old woman's lips "Very well Sparrow, if that is what you wish, then I will deny you of your fate as a Hero. Be free Little Sparrow, if that is what you truly desire my dear niece".

But as Sparrow's tears prickle her eyes once again, she curses Theresa silently, for never being able to hold a grudge against anyone, and she hates it even more when her damaged-and-yet-still-shattered hurt swells with joy at Theresa finally acknowledging her as family, because Sparrow knows it'll be a long time before she ever saw any of them, and she hopes it will remain that way.

Sparrows takes another drag, as she reminisces on that particular memory, because true to her word Theresa never contacted her, and Sparrow almost hates how the Hero in her wishes she would, and as she places the pipe on the table, she takes a long drag of the cold bottle of rum, and drowns herself in her miseries once again.

She holds back further tears, and is glad for once that she isn't married, she'd learned from her marriage with Alex that in the end, everyone dies...because she doesn't want to lose another daughter, or another son, and she is sure as hell, that she doesn't even want to tell her children of her journies as a Hero, because if she was being honest, they sucked -she bears into her mind, the cold nights, the loneliness, the fear of always being attacked, the pain of her wounds, and the burdens she carried because of her obligation. She takes another swig of the rum, and thinks, as the feeling of relief envelops her, 'No, they don't need lies of how not-perfect a Hero's life is, it's better this way, being left alone, since it seems that is my fate for eternity & beyond'.

And as bittersweet memories unfold once again, Sparrow is reminded that she is still alone, and that for Heroes, there is no such thing as a Happily Ever Afters for them. Yet as the tears fall again, the murmur of "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry" is repeated over & over again like a never-ending mantra, but it ends, as the sound of a gun clicking, following it a gun shot with a barely beard whisper of "Maybe now, I can be free". That had been the end of Sparrow, the former Hero of Bowerstone.

2 Years Later...

"You think she's a fool, don't you?" Garth asks Reaver who's staring sullenly at a tombstone. Garth hears Reaver sigh as the youthful-looking man runs his fingers through his hair "Yes, but I'm more of a fool to not have even told her how I truly felt about her. Maybe I could've saved her" he utters remorsefully. Garth replies "Well, you were 10 years too late Reaver, but at least you knew why you couldn't save her" as he gazed at Hannah who was asleep leaning on one of the willow trees, faint traces of tears on her pale cheeks. He continues seriously "Well, at least you were 10 years too late, look at Hammer, she was 10 years earlier than you, and all she does nowadays, is blame herself for never noticing how bad Sparrow was hurting, so stop wallowing in self-pity, this isn't the same Reaver that I met, who I remember had threatened to kill us all and save himself".

Garth notes Reaver's sardonic smile as he mutters loudly "Looks like not all of us are cut out to be Heroes, eh?" but his eyes hold pain, and Garth like his two companions wishes they could've at least prevented her death, the only thing they had prevented was how she died, they made up some story of her being attacked as she slept, because it would be better than telling the people of Albion that their former Hero had killed herself, in her journey for freedom, and to be freed of being their Hero.

He hears Reaver's gunshot and notes the much older-but-youthful-looking man has fired into the air, and listens to the murmur of "Sparrow, I'm sorry for not being there for you, for hiding who I was, even though you figured it out like the clever minx you were. Sorry I never told you I loved you" but his eyes are glassy, and Garth notes that none of the tears fall across his cheeks, and is glad that Reaver isn't crying -even if he wants to- because he knows if Reaver, -who's heartless enough to kill anyone no matter what the circumstances be- cries, then he would probably start bawling, and he knows that it will only make Hannah wake up and start crying, after he had finally gotten her to sleep.

And as the wind blew gently, the cool air surrounding the men made the atmosphere less heavy. And Garth closes his eyes when they both hear the sweet whisper of "Thank you" in the air, he knows he's crying silently, and is glad that by now the rain has decided to appear and take over, because he doesn't think he can live it down if Reaver saw him crying.

While they stand unmoving, the wind is still blowing softly, and the rain somehow washes away the negative and painful feelings. A beautiful white rose laid down by Reaver earlier, glows even more beautiful at the Tombstone it was placed in front of.

'Here lies Sparrow,

The Hero of Bowerstone, and our savior.

A former wife, mother, friend, to us all.

Born July 6th 1064 - Death March 23rd 1093

We are forever in your debt.

"May the light shine upon your soul wherever you lie,

and may your freedom be there with you"

We loved, and will always love you forever more'

*Author's Note: I realized that it may be, a bit confusing how Theresa is Sparrow's niece, but I decided that in this time-line, Theresa had somehow moved on 500 years later along with her brother's children and wife, as he lay dead. And also that the Hero of Southcliff would be Theresa's son. So, sorry for the confusion, and hope that you enjoy.