I know this took forever and I'm so sorry!
Unfortunately, updates will probably be like this until summer break- teachers are just piling on homework, and finals are coming up…
Anyhow, it's finally here!
Thanks to all reviewers. Virtual cookies, and cupcakes (as an apology present) for all of you. For Grey dog, bleach-otaku, Ablast4 and Silver-Wolf-Gurl, you get virtual cookies, cupcakes, and ice cream! Want virtual ice cream, cookies and cupcakes? Send questions next time =)
Oh, this had Nemu x Uryu in it, just as a warning for anybody who doesn't like it… although how can you not? Is there an abbreviation for that? If there is could somebody please tell me? I'd like to know.
Btw, Star Trek The Original Series references. =) I'm a Spock Fangirl… you have been warned.
When Seru and the Maneru brothers walked into the Squad Twelve Barracks they were met with a flurry of activity by the members of Squad Twelve- none of which looked human. The only normal looking one among them was Nemu, and she wasn't even human! She was created by one of Mayuri's experiments, and yet looked perfectly normal. Beautiful even. And while all of the other members of Squad Eleven were interesting, none of them could be called beautiful. It was, Seru thought, quite unfair.
Nemu greeted them gracefully, with a small bow, and Seru wondered whether Mayuri purposefully made his Vice Captain wear such a short skirt. She did have the legs for it, Seru noticed with a twinge of jealousy.
"Welcome," she said in her shy, quiet voice. "Master is waiting for you." It was like an extremely corny vampire movie, except Nemu wasn't a hunch-backed butler with rotten teeth. And it really was a shame too. At least if she had been a bit uglier, Seru might have felt a bit better about herself.
Seru and the Maneru brothers followed Nemu through the Squad Twelve Barracks to where Mayuri was waiting in his private research room, staring at the computer. He didn't even glance up when they walked in.
"I brought them Master," Nemu said softly. Mayuri looked up, frowning- or as much as his clown-like face could frown. Seru suppressed a shudder. She hated clowns.
"Right!" she said preppily, trying to hide her disgust. "Should we get started then?"
Mayuri sighed. "If we really must. I do have work to do you know. Oh, that reminds me! Would you like to be a research subject? I promise prime conditions for a girl like you! I'll only examine you for eighteen hours each day, and limit the number of needles a day to only ten!" he asked with a creepy grin. The worst part was that Mayuri actually seemed to think that he was offering a good deal.
"No thank you." Seru replied. "Anyways. First question. Oh, and this is for both of you. Do you play any sci-fi games?"
"Do they involve dissecting people slowly while they're still alive, examining every single section of their body, and sticking them full of foreign liquids to see how their bodies react?" Mayuri asked.
"No. They don't."
"Then no, we haven't." Nemu nodded from where she stood slightly behind Mayuri.
"Right…" Seru was beginning to think that the whole thing was a big mistake. "Second question. Also for both of you. Do you have a romantic relationship?"
"No. Definitely not. Nemu is my default test subject. Not as good as humans of course, but I take what I can get."
"Third Question. Nemu, do you have any love interests?" Seru stressed Nemu's name, hoping that both father and daughter would get the point.
"No. I do not have feelings, therefore I cannot love anybody." Seru winced.
"You just broke Uryu's heart. Poor boy." She turned to Mayuri. "Maybe you should fix that."
"Why would I do that? Nemu doesn't need emotions."
"I dunno, something to do?" Seru tried, and hurried on before Mayuri could reply to that. "Fourth question. Mayuri, did you always look like that?"
"No. I used to look human, but I experimented on myself, changing my appearance. Besides, I find this look more appealing. Don't you?" Mayuri looked at Seru with his head tilted to the side and a creepy grin pasted on his face.
"Sure…" Seru trailed off, scared. "Whatever you say. Fifth question. Nemu, do you seriously have no emotions, or do you just suppress them?"
"I was not made with emotions," Nemu replied.
"That's not what I asked- whatever…" With a sigh, Seru turned back to Mayuri. "Sixth question. Who do you hate more, Kenpachi or Unohana?"
"I do not like either of them, but I do not hate one more than the other. They are both ignorant nuisances who have no idea what true science is like. I would like to experiment on Kenpachi's body however, and see what makes him so strong…"
"That's reasonable, I guess… Seventh question. Nemu, will you ever leave your father and live somewhere else, or work in another division?"
"No. I will never do such a thing."
"Eighth question. Mayuri, have you ever had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? It doesn't really matter which."
"No, I have never had either. I have devoted my whole life to experimentation."
"You know, you're starting to sound like Tosen, except with experimentation and science instead of justice." Seru commented.
"Do not compare me to that ignorant swine." Mayuri told Seru. "I am much better than he is."
"As you say. Ninth question. Nemu, can you get pregnant?"
"No. I was not made with the necessary organs. If it were necessary, Master Mayuri could equip me with them."
"Well that's handy. Saves the mess of birth control," Seru muttered. Nemu stared at her.
"I do not understand."
Seru waved her off. "Never mind. It's not important. Tenth question. Mayuri, why do you feel the need to put a self-destruct option on everything?"
"I don't want anybody to steal my secrets. Besides, I don't want anything that I control to be used against me."
"Of course you don't." Seru sighed. Mayuri gave her a look.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked. Seru gulped.
"N-nothing," she squeaked. "Eleventh question. Nemu, do you have a zanpaku-to?"
"No. I have no need of one."
"Alrighty then. Twelfth question. Mayuri, why do you have blue hair?"
"Because once, when I was younger, an experiment went wrong and exploded. It dyed my hair blue."
"Thirteenth question. Nemu, why did you give Uryu the antidote to the poison? Was it really just because he didn't take Mayuri's life?"
"Yes. That was the only reason. What other reason would there be?"
"I don't know, because you care about him?" Seru said. "You must have some sort of emotion." Then she stopped and realized something. "Mayuri, would you mind leaving the room for a second? I want to ask Nemu some questions about the SWA."
"Why can't I be here?" Mayuri asked suspiciously.
"Because you're not a member of the SWA. Nanao will be pissed if you listen in. She might even take her glasses off, she'll get so angry." Mayuri left quickly.
"So," Seru turned to look at Nemu. "You really do like him, don't you?"
"I was not made to have emotions or feelings."
"Don't lie. Every girl has both, made or not. Come on, I won't tell!"
"This is all on camera." Smart girl, Seru thought. She turned to look at the Maneru brothers.
"Turn the cameras off." They complied. "Alright," Seru turned back to Nemu. "Spill. You like him don't you?"
"Well…" Nemu appeared to think about the question. "I feel odd in my stomach whenever he's near me," she confessed.
"Knew it," Seru murmured.
"And I would like to spend more time with him…" Nemu continued. Seru nodded. "Does that mean I like him?"
"Yep. You've got a crush on Uryu! Aww! You two make such a cute couple!" Seru glanced around. "While Mayuri's out of the room, I'd like to ask you a few more questions- off tape. Is that okay?"
"Yes, that is fine." Nemu sounded like an automated machine. A very pretty automated machine.
"Would you ever consider going on a date with Uryu?"
"I do not understand," Nemu sounded confused. "A date is the day, month, and year that we are currently on. You can't go on a date, it is physically impossible as a date is not a physical thing."
"No, no, not a date like that," Seru tried to explain. "A date as in… going somewhere with somebody that you like. You know, like going out to the movies or something with Uryu."
"I do not know. I would like to be near him."
"Well there you go then." Seru said. She went to the door. "Mayuri, you can come back in now," she told the scientist, who was sulking in the corridor. He regained his seat with as much dignity possible, and Seru could see that he was struggling with being scared off by the threat of the eighth division's female vice captain. Poor Mayuri.
"You can turn the cameras back on," Seru told the Maneru brothers. Mayuri didn't ask why they were off in the first place. It was a smart decision.
"Alright," Seru continued. "Fourteenth question. Mayuri, what do you think about Kisuke Urahara?"
"He was a good captain of the Twelfth Division," Mayuri began, "but he wasn't nearly as good as I am. He also left behind all of this wonderful science equipment, so obviously he wasn't very dedicated to his work."
"Last question. What do your experiments usually involve?"
"Anything, everything. I like experimenting on the body the most though," Mayuri's eyes went wide and crazy as he spoke. "Would you like to be a test subject? I'd give you-"
"No. Thank you." Seru told him firmly.
"Such a shame." Mayuri sighed.
"Right… anyways, we will be going now, to look at the rest of the Twelfth Division. Bye!" Seru exited quickly, followed by the Maneru brothers.
When Seru and the Maneru brothers reached the secret room, Yachiru was already there, but Yumichika and Ikkaku were still missing. They walked in five minutes later, talking quietly. They stopped when they noticed Yachiru, Seru, and the Maneru brothers. Seru was curious, but she didn't ask. Silently, she turned on the screens, and watched as Mayuri and Nemu appeared on them.
"But Master," Nemu was saying. "It is my turn to choose, and I want to watch The Return of the Archons!"
"Silence Nemu! I choose, or do you want me to have to punish you again? We are watching The Naked Time. That is final!"
"But, Mr. Spock is in a suit in The Return of the Archons! I want to see him in a suit!"
"The Naked Time is funny. I want to watch funny!"
"But Mr. Spock-"
"Oh for goodness sake Nemu! Spock cries in The Naked Time. Don't you remember?"
"I do. That scene makes me sad."
"Well we're watching The Naked Time. We can watch The Return of the Archons tomorrow."
"But you said that yesterday!"
"Too bad."
Nemu sighed, admitting defeat.
"Now go get the episode from Hiyosu."
"Yes master." Nemu walked out of the room.
"What are they talking about?" Ikkaku wanted to know.
"I don't know," Seru replied. Nobody else knew either.
Nemu walked back into the room carrying a box. The box read,
STAR TREK
THE ORIGINAL SERIES
SEASON ONE
On the box it had a picture of a large space ship, some sort of symbol, and a line of men, each wearing a uniform. There were three different colours of uniforms, browny yellow, red and blue. Both Mayuri and Nemu were looking at the box reverently.
"How about this," Mayuri suggested as Nemu handed him the box. "We'll watch The Naked Time first, and then if we still have time, we'll watch The Return of the Archons. Nemu brightened up at the suggestion.
With Seru, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Yachiru and the Maneru brothers watching on, Nemu inserted a disc into the T.V, and both her and Mayuri sat back, and began to watch.
It started with somebody talking about a 'Captain's log' and the 'Starship Enterprise'. People were running around on a ship, and pushing buttons. People were also down in an abandoned icy room. Something happened where a man touched the ice with his bare hand, and then sniffed it. Then, him and another man with pointy ears were taken up onto the ship. Then, a titles screen came on, and the man started talking again.
"Space, the final frontier. These are the voyageur's of the starship Enterprise…." The man went on to talk about exploring strange new worlds, and boldly going where no man has gone before. The episode started, and everybody in the secret room leaned in to see.
Soon they were all laughing at the antics of the men with the strange disease. Seru began to sigh about how hot the man called Spock was. Ikkaku said he looked weird with his pointy ears and odd eyebrows. Seru slapped him.
"I have got to get that," Seru commented once the episode was over. Sourly, Ikkaku rubbed his cheek, and didn't venture a comment. Yumichika and Yachiru agreed with Seru.
"This is awesome!" Seru exclaimed as Mayuri started the next episode, much to Nemu's obvious delight. All six of them leaned back and began to contentedly watch the next episode.
… Sorry again that it was so late, but school's been hectic…
I'm sorry that the Hidden Camera part wasn't very funny, but I couldn't think of anything.
If you haven't seen The Return of the Archons, let me tell you, Spock looks damn good in a suit. So does Captain Kirk, actually, but Spock looks better.
Yeah, I'm stalking our favourite little Shiro-chan next… so questions, please! Yay Hitsugaya! I'm really excited for this one =)
Reviews please?