First off, I'm sorry it's been so long… I'll try to be better!
Also, Ablast4 is writing an awesome fanfic about the White Hair Club. You should go check it out- it's really, really good, and really funny.
Thank you to Silver-Wolf-Gurl, Aino-Rekishi, Dirty Spots, Ablast4, Crazy Molly and bleach-otaku for the amazing questions! They help so much, and I have so much fun writing the responses in character! Thanks again!
And, if there are any characters that you would like to see in Hidden Camera, tell me! I will add them to my list and get to them… eventually. Once I get to the end of the list I'm going to finish the story, and I'm only adding on new characters if somebody asks for them, so feel free to ask! =)
Oh yes, and I don't own Bleach. If I did it would suck.
Oh, and there's going to be a slightly OOC Yumichika. Sorry.
Rukia Kuchiki usually thought of herself as a fairly tolerant person. After all, she put up with Kiyone and Sentaro's arguments every day at work, Renji's annoying attitude when she was out having fun, Byakuya's chilly personality when she stayed at the Kuchiki manor- which was rare- and Kon's general pervertedness when she was in the world of the living. Yes, she had always known that she was as patient as circumstances would allow, and wasn't normally rude to people. Still, she was about ready to hit this 'Seru' woman across the head.
Why did she need an interview? She had work to do, since Ukitake was on sick leave again and Kiyone and Sentaro were too busy arguing to get things done.
"Please," Seru begged. "You sound just like Shiro-chan, and Byakuya! Don't be a spoil-sport."
"Listen," Rukia told the woman as patiently as she was able. "Any other time would be good, but I'm really super busy right now." She glanced down at the stack of paperwork she was carrying, calculating silently. "Although, I suppose I could spare an hour…" Seru grinned.
"Brilliant!" she exclaimed. "Let's go."
Before Rukia realized what was happening, she was seated in a chair with Seru sitting opposite her, and the Maneru brothers positioning the cameras on the two women.
"First question! Where did you learn how to draw?"
"I learnt when I was in the academy! There were all these books on Chappy in the library, and I just sort of copied the style."
"That explains a lot…" Seru muttered. Rukia gave her a look.
"Explains a lot about what?" Rukia asked, sounding murderous.
"Nothing," Seru said hurriedly. "Second question! Do you think Shiro-chan was truthful in his opinion of your drawings?"
"I can't see why he wouldn't be…" Rukia replied. "Although he did look a bit panicky. Do you think he was feeling alright?"
"At that moment in time, maybe not… Third question! Who do you think would make the best couple in the Seireitei?"
"Umm… I have more than one actually…"
"Go ahead," Seru offered, leaning forwards eagerly.
"Well I think that Captain Unohana and Captain Ukitake would be perfect for each other," she began.
"Everybody thinks that they would be perfect for each other," Seru interrupted. "They're the only ones denying it." She paused, thoughtful. "And maybe Kenpachi. I think he's got a crush on her… But other than that, everybody thinks that they would be perfect for each other. Anyways, go on."
"And I'm certain that there's something going on between Yumichika and Ikkaku… At least on Yumichika's side anyways. I'm not sure if Ikkaku is really interested."
"Agreed."
"And Nanao and Captain Kyoraku have something special, even if she doesn't want to admit it."
"They do," Seru smiled, looking as though she were remembering something amusing.
"Shuhei is so in love with Rangiku," Rukia continued, "and can anybody figure out why Renji and Byakuya are always together?" she finished.
"Yes and yes." Seru grinned. "You have wonderful insights!" Rukia grinned back, just as Ukitake walked into the office, talking quietly to Byakuya, who looked the same as always; bored, neat, and extremely handsome. Rukia had to catch her breath. "Fourth question! Do you know who Justin Beiber is?"
"Isn't he that retarded little kid who sings terribly?" (No offence to any J.B fans… Although it is true). Rukia could have sworn that she heard a sigh of disappointment.
"That's the one! Fifth question! Does Ukitake know who Justin Beiber is?"
"I don't think so…" Rukia trailed off.
"Hey, Ukitake," Seru called. Ukitake broke off from his conversation with Byakuya and turned. Byakuya noticed Seru for the first time, and his expression clouded with annoyance.
"Yes?" he asked. Rukia examined her captain carefully. He looked better, but not completely well. Should he be back to work?
"Do you know who Justin Beiber is?"
"Who?" Ukitake asked. There was an exclamation of excitement, and Ablast4 ducked out from under an empty desk, did a ninja leap, ran across the office upside down on the ceiling, dropped to the ground in front of Ukitake, poked him, and then crawled back under the desk.
"Do you Byakuya?" Seru asked. Byakuya frowned slightly, and Rukia noticed with amazement that he was barely able to contain his annoyance around Seru. He shook his head the tiniest bit, and Ablast4 emerged from under the desk again, this time ran along the walls, and stopped in front of Byakuya, went to poke him, and then reconsidered it and pulled an I-phone from a pocket. After searching through it, the I-phone was offered to Ukitake and Byakuya. Seru and Rukia instantly covered their ears. Ukitake followed suit immediately after screeching sounded through the speakers. Byakuya rested his hand on the hilt of his zanpaku-to as though he were barely managing not to draw it and destroy the source of the awful sound. Instead, using self-control more impressive than Rukia's, he turned on his heel and walked out the door.
"Turn it off now!" Seru called. Ablast4 tucked the I-phone back into the pocket it belonged in and disappeared back under the desk. Ukitake sighed.
"I think I made him angry," he murmured.
"What'd you do? Seru asked.
"I asked if I could do something that goes against all of his deepest wishes. It has to be done though…" He sighed. "I'm going to go catch up on paperwork. You girls have fun!"
"Yes captain!" Rukia agreed, before turning back to Seru.
"Sixth question! Ichigo, Renji or Chappy?"
"Chappy!"
"… Okay then. Seventh question! Do you think Renji's tattoos are cool?"
"I've never really thought about it…"
"Think about it now!"
"I don't know… I suppose they're just… Renji."
"Eighth question. Do you have a crush on Ichigo?"
"What? No!" Rukia sputtered, her face slowly turning red.
"Ninth question. Do you have a crush on Renji?"
"No!"
"Tenth question. Do you have a crush on Byakuya?"
"He's my brother!"
"Not by blood."
"No! I don't have a crush on Ni-sama!"
"Eleventh question! Do you know any shocking secrets about Byakuya?"
"No! He hardly speaks to me!"
"Twelfth question! Do you think Byakuya's an emotionless scrooge?"
"Of course not!"
"No seriously. Do you?"
"He's not an emotionless scrooge."
"Yeah? What evidence do you have to support that?"
"… Well, it's more of just a feeling really, but I think that Ni-sama's really just not showing what he feels because he has to for the honour of the Kuchiki clan."
"Huh… He's still a scrooge. Thirteenth question! Why are you so Chappy obsessed?"
"Because he's the best thing ever!"
"Uh huh. Fourteenth question! Are you glad that you're taller than Hitsugaya?"
"A bit…" Rukia admitted.
"Fifteenth question! What do you think that Byakuya does at home?"
"… I don't know."
"Take a wild guess."
"Um, maybe he reads or something?"
"Sixteenth question! What do you think that Soi Fon does at home?"
"Something involving Yoruichi."
"Seventeenth question! Same thing for Kyoraku."
"Drinks alcohol."
"Eighteenth question! What about Unohana?"
"Probably something peaceful… like plant flowers or something."
"Nineteenth question! Ukitake?"
"I think he sleeps."
"Twentieth question! Shiro-chan?"
"I dunno… reads or something I guess."
"Twenty-first question! Have you tried Orihime's cooking?"
"Unfortunately yes. I will never, ever do that ever again. Ever."
"Twenty-second question! On a scale of 1-10 how pervy is Urahara, ten being the most?"
"Eight point seven."
"Why point seven?"
"Because it's higher than five."
"Twenty-third question!"
"I really need to get back to work."
"This will be the last one, I promise! If Kon had his own gigai, what do you think it would look like?"
"He would be sort of medium height, with black hair streaked with silver, and a creepy beard/moustache combo that looks like it has a life of its own and gives people nightmares. He'd be really, really creepy, like a creepy, pervy math teacher who looks down girls' shirts." (This is actually based off of my creepy pedo math teacher. I'm not even kidding. He looks down girls' shirts and his moustache gives me nightmares. I think it might try to eat me when I'm not looking)!
"That… sounds like Kon!" Seru agreed. "Thank you."
"Your welcome," Rukia replied, returning to her work.
Seru, Ikkaku, Yumichika (who was standing a tad bit closer to Ikkaku than was really necessary) Yachiru and the Maneru brothers all crowded into the secret room at the same time. Ikkaku and Seru had a fight over who got the comfiest chair- Ikkaku won, and Seru took the other one, scowling. Yachiru climbed onto her lap, and the Maneru brothers took their usual posts by the door, and Yumichika looked around.
"How is it, that every time we come in here, I'm already left without a spot?" he asked, sounding annoyed, and Seru couldn't really blame him. He had been dragged back time and time again, both in his work life and his social life. He should be a Vice Captain, instead he was a fifth seat. The eleventh division went drinking and he ended up being the one paying for the drinks, but being too busy keeping everybody from killing each other to actually drink anything. He ended up doing all of the paperwork for the division because nobody else cared enough to do it. And here, he was always the one pulling Yachiru off of Ikkaku, or intervening between Seru and Ikkaku's constant arguments, and he never, ever got a seat. You had to feel a bit sorry for the guy. But there were no chairs, and Seru sure as hell wasn't giving hers up.
Yumichika frowned, and leaned moodily on the back of Ikkaku's chair. The bald man ignored him, and instead turned his attention towards the screens.
"Rukia, right?" he asked. Seru nodded. "Maybe she'll strip!" he exclaimed. Yumichika looked even grumpier.
"You're so lucky Byakuya's not here right now."
"Well I wouldn't say it if Byakuya were here."
"Huh… You've seen Rangiku strip," Seru pointed out. "Isn't that enough? I mean, that woman's boobs are bigger than her head!"
"They're too big," Ikkaku informed her. "I like women where you can actually see their face when you're looking at them, instead of it being blocked out by massive amounts of cleavage.
"So you like flat-chested girls. You hiding something Ikkaku?"
"What would I be hiding?"
"Yeah," Yachiru agreed. "I don't get it!"
"You're too young to get it." Seru told the small girl. Yumichika scowled at the blank screens, ignoring the talk around him. "Careful Yumichika," Seru teased gently. "If you keep on frowning your face will freeze like that." His eye twitched, but other than that he didn't respond.
"I thought scowling was unbeautiful," Ikkaku added, turning around to look at his friend.
"Shut up and just turn on the screens," Yumichika growled. He was acting unbeautifully, but he didn't particularly care anymore. Seru was wise enough not to press him. She turned on the screens. And blinked, surprised.
"I wasn't actually expecting the secret gym," she admitted. "Although the bunnies aren't a real surprise."
"She seriously has a boxing bag. That's… Well actually, hitting an actual person is more fun than hitting a bag!"
"Yeah!" Yachiru agreed.
"Hunh." Yumichika muttered sourly.
"Nothing about how unbeautiful that is?" Seru asked, glancing back at Yumichika. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Fine." He snapped. He wasn't, but they didn't need to know that, not that they'd care, even if they did.
Rukia entered her quarters, looking as though she were deep in thought. They watched as she looked around her room, as though she were trying to decide what to do. Her gaze alighted on the boxing bag, and she walked towards it, grinning. She punched it hard, and it flew off of the hook it was hanging on, and exploded into millions of tiny pieces. Rukia laughed softly.
"Holy shit," Ikkaku said, shocked. "That girl is… well that's… I mean… Shit!" Seru nodded.
"I can see why she's decided not to actually punch a real person," she agreed.
"That's amazing! Why the hell isn't she in eleventh?"
"Byakuya doesn't want her to get hurt," Seru replied. "Didn't you know? She's strong enough to be a seated officer, but he's requested that she not. It's quite sweet, in a weird way."
Next, Rukia gently pulled her sword from its sheath. "Bankai," she murmured and the sword glowed a brilliant white. Seru, Yumichika, Yachiru, Ikkaku and the Maneru brothers all instantly braced themselves for the shock of reitsu that came with one releasing their Bankai, but it never came.
"She must have some sort of reitsu blocker in the walls," Seru muttered, although she seemed awed. The six of them watched silently as Rukia unleashed her Bankai, and then returned her zanpaku-to to its original form, and slid it gently back into its sheath.
"Amazing," Ikkaku said. "She's not even a seated officer, and yet she has Bankai."
Rukia yawned, and their eyes followed her to the next room, where she crawled under the Chappy covers, fully dressed. Ikkaku seemed quite disappointed by that.
"What? She's not going to strip? Why not?" Ikkaku whined. Yumichika pushed himself abruptly off of the back of Ikkaku's chair and stormed out of the room, slamming the door violently behind him. Seru, Ikkaku and Yachiru shared a look.
"What's with him?" Seru asked. Ikkaku shrugged.
"I'm going after him. He's done this before. He got… violent. Very violent." Ikkaku shrugged. "And as much as I love violence, this is not good."
"What'd he do?"
"Yachiru'll tell you," Ikkaku said, disappearing out the door. "Hey, Yumichika! Wait up!" Seru looked over at Yachiru.
"What'd he do?"
Yachiru shrugged. "He drained everybody's reitsu." Seru's jaw dropped.
"Everybody?"
"Yep!"
"You're not serious."
"I am!" Yachiru corrected cheerfully. "Nobody could move around they were so tired, except for a few of the captains, and even they weren't doing much. Captain Tosen even passed out in the street! It was really funny!"
"So if we suddenly can't move, we know who to blame?" Seru asked.
"He won't do it again. Yumi never does anything twice. One time he blew up the barracks. Another time he sent forty-seven people to division four sick bay in the space of a minute- without drawing his sword. Who knows what he might do." Yachiru shrugged.
"How many times does he get angry like this?"
"Not that often. But when he does…" Yachiru shuddered. "And another thing is, when he gets angry, it never has anything to do with people calling him unbeautiful or not. He just sort of… goes boom. And nobody can figure out what makes him mad."
"So he's going to do something drastic."
"Not if baldy gets to him in time," Yachiru said cheerfully. "He can always make Yumi calm down."
"That's weird," Seru muttered. "From what I've seen, Yumichika is the one who usually does the calming down."
"Not when Yumi's the one who's angry." Yachiru shrugged. "I'd wait in here for a bit anyways. Just in case."
"Yeah," Seru agreed, thinking of the stories of Yumichika that she had just heard. "Maybe we should sleep in here tonight. Just in case."
"Like a sleepover?" Yachiru asked excitedly.
"Just like a sleepover." Seru nodded. None of them moved from the small room until morning, when they decided that it was safe to peak out the door.
I just had a mini heart attack because I thought that word didn't save it, but then I found it in a different document. I'm okay now… That really scared me!
Anyways, I hope you liked =)
Nanao's next, so questions? Also, don't forget to tell me who you want to be stalked. I'll accept all suggestions! Except for Yumichika, Ikkaku and Yachiru since they already know about it…
I'm having a hard time thinking up the OOC Hidden Camera part- which is most of the reason for the time between updates… If anybody has any suggestions, I'll be very grateful! =)
I'll try really hard to update sooner this time!
Special thank you to Ablast4, who risked getting Senbonzakurad by Byakuya for showing him who J.B is… Thank you!
Until I'm back to torture- interview Nanao,
- Stormy =)