Author's note: Hellooo - so this is getting a lot of hits and all that but it still doesn't have any reviews (probably because how cracky the pairing is.) But please I'd love to hear whatever opinion you have on the story and pairing! Thanks and I hope all those who are reading are enjoying. :)

"You seem distant," Leslie said after a prolonged silence.

"Um… what?" He hadn't been paying attention to what she'd been saying before and hoped it wasn't important.

"Are you feeling alright?" she cuddled up under his arm and he didn't really budge.

"Yeah, yeah of course. Why?"

"Well, you're just quiet and you know…"

"No, what?"

She became nervous and fidgeted with her thumbs. "Do you remember when we first started dating and how fun that was?"

"Mhm." Was anything different now?

"Well…" she snuggled up against his bare chest some more and he tried his best to feel repulsed. "We should do that kind of stuff again…"

"I really am not sure what you're talking about."

"You know like Margaret Thatcher… President Reagan… Pelosi."

"Oh, you miss Pelosi, hm?" He teased and looked down at her. He hated how much he loved being with Leslie because half the time he wished she were more like April. The cute and sweet thing got old really quick. Why would someone as awkward as Ben want to be with someone as awkward as Leslie? Things weren't always super lively in the bedroom.

"Want to stay the night?"

Ben groaned. He wanted so badly to stay with Leslie overnight but April would ask why he didn't come home that night and then he'd stutter awkwardly and she'd do something awful like threaten not to sleep with him. And he couldn't get away with wearing the same blue plaid shirt two days in a row.

"I-I-" he glanced over at her alarm clock. It was already ten o'clock.

"Come on, please. Don't be mean Ben, again."

"Oh, come on!" he laughed. "Fine. But you gotta stop calling me mean Ben."

"Yay! Nice Ben!"

The rest of the night was spent with Leslie under Ben's arm, casually chatting and laughing and joking with the occasional occurrence of political role play. He pushed April into the back of his mind and focused on his relationship with Leslie, something that always seemed much more real and often much more important. But when the time came to sleep, he found it nearly impossible to fall asleep. Leslie, who he'd known rarely was able to sleep well at night, even fell asleep before midnight eased by the presence of her lover. But Ben lay there for what felt like hours, though was only a mere twenty minutes, before he got out of bed. It was difficult to get Leslie off his arm without waking her but he was surprisingly successful. He paced for a moment, taking peaks out the window, wandering down the hall and ultimately finding his phone on the cluttered kitchen table. He checked it, not expecting there to be any messages or calls, but to his surprise had one of each. The call was from April and Andy's home and the text was from April's cellphone an hour after the call.

Where the fuck are you? Andy thinks you're dead.

He checked the clock. It was just past twelve-thirty; she'd sent the text only a half-hour ago.

Don't wait up. I'll see you at work.

He wondered how long it would take April to answer. She might not answer at all though he liked to imagine her leaping from the couch to the coffee table to answer the phone. Judging by her quick response, that seemed highly probable.

Where are you?

Why do you care?

Her response didn't come immediately.

I don't.

Fuck. He had to tell her now.

Would you care if I were laying half-dead in the street?

No.

Would you care if I were sleeping with someone else?

Another long pause before her next response.

Maybe.

He grinned to himself. This made him much happier than it should have. He liked the idea that he had to potential to make her as jealous as she and Andy made him.

I'll see you in the morning.

Goodnight.

Having stayed up too late thinking about April and not about the woman sleeping beside him, Ben was very late coming into work. He had to take a quick spin home to find a change of clothes (he felt a bit disgusting wearing the same clothes from the day before) and then got stuck in the mid-morning traffic.

"Ben Wyatt, where have you been?"

"Over slept, got caught in traffic." Excuses, excuses.

"Didn't have time to shave either, it looks like."

Ben felt his face, not having noticed before that the scruff was growing a bit out of control. "Apparently not."

"Well, I'm out for lunch today with some friends from Indianapolis. I'll need you to hold down the fort while I'm gone."

"Ay, ay captain." He joked along but Chris didn't seem to get it. Being alone for the afternoon didn't sound too bad, though no doubt he'd either have to deal with Leslie or April. Or both.

Lunchtime came and Chris left and before Leslie took her usual perch outside with Ann, she popped into Ben's office to pay him a quick hello.

"Hey, where's Chris?"

"Lunch with friends." They both exchanged smiles and Leslie approached his desk slowly, taking caution. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, moving her giggling body to a nook behind his desk hidden from view.

They made out for only a minute, something they rarely had time to do during the day. It was nice and Ben didn't think about April once the entire time. Until, of course, her heard footsteps enter the room followed by the shocking presence of silence. Leslie had stopped kissing him and stood frozen, staring at the body behind him. Ben didn't want to turn around, he'd rather melt into the carpet and stay there for a few days.

"I-i-it's not what it looks like!" stammered Leslie nervously, though she couldn't even bother to lie any further. "April, please," she pushed Ben aside and he cursed repetitively in his mind before turning and making quick eye contact with April. "Please don't tell anyone. We could lose our jobs a-and-"

"Yeah, I know. I don't care. Who am I gonna tell?"

"No one else can know April, please," she approached April and smiled. April was clearly upset but tried to push it aside from her vacant expression. "Please?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Just- I-I'm gonna go get lunch-" she started to run from the room.

"Wait, April!" Ben called after her and she stopped. "Did you come in here for something or uhh…?"

She took a deep breath but kept her head turned away from Ben. He feared for a minute she might be crying but thought it'd be asking too much for her to have actual emotions for him.

"No." And she left.

"Oh my god, Ben." Leslie sighed and sat down. "We're so stupid. Why do we keep doing this?"

"I-I don't know. We can't… ever let that happen again." That was what she wanted to hear but he didn't really mean it. He didn't care anymore. April knew. She'd always sort of known, but now she really knew. He didn't care about anyone else.

Leslie left his office for lunch with Ann and he stayed in his office alone. He hadn't had time to pack a lunch and getting up to get something would probably mean bumping into April. He knew nothing good would come of this.

The day dragged on with Ben ignoring both Leslie and April though wanting to talk to April more than anything else in the world. Chris' lunch had gone longer than expected so he never returned to City Hall. Ben spent most of the day alone until, just before the end of the day, April came to pay him a visit.

"When were you planning on telling me this?" she said, slamming the door behind her.

"I-I- I can explain."

"No! I don't want you to explain! How long have you been seeing Leslie?" She was frantic and very upset.

"I think that counts as an explanation."

"Don't fuck around Ben. Just tell me."

"We've been dating since May, okay? Way before I even considered looking at you."

"So." A faint light turned on behind her eyes. "You're cheating on her… with me?"

"Um… yeah, I guess so."

"Just like how I'm cheating on you with Andy?"

"Yes." Ben couldn't really understand what was confusing April.

"Thank god," she sighed and plopped down in a chair opposite his desk.

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you were cheating on me with Leslie. Like I wasn't good enough and you had to turn to," she paused and laughed for a second. Ben wasn't amused. "You had to turn to Leslie… sorry. It's just a funny thought."

"You're a horrible person, April." He tilted his head back and sighed. "I'm sorry April. For um, uh lying to you."

"I don't care."

"What?"

"I don't care." They met eyes. She wasn't joking. She really didn't care. "You're allowed to have a life. And this just proves that you're not desperate for a fuck or gay or something."

"Told you I wasn't dating Chris." They laughed.

April stood slowly and approached Ben with a seductive glow in her eyes. He knew what that meant.

"I won't be mad at you as long as you promise that I can fuck better than her."

He swallowed hard and nervously looked around. "April, I'm pretty sure she's still in the building. We can't do this now."

"Ugh!" she groaned loudly and made an angry face at him. He tried not to laugh. It was pretty adorable. "But when we get home Andy's stupid band or something will there and we won't be able to and I want you now."

"Wow, um, okay." He wasn't sure if anyone had so bluntly stated that they wanted him before. He got up and walked into the hall, checking for people. He spotted Leslie down the hall in her office.

"Just real quick Ben!"

He felt nervous doing this here again. He'd already gotten caught once today – being caught with his much younger, married co-worker would be much more awful than getting caught with Leslie. He shut the door to his office and locked the door. All the blinds had already been closed so it looked like he'd gone home. They could pull this off.

Before he had a chance to even collect his thoughts, April was on him at the door, cardigan in a ball on the floor. She pushed him against the door, mouth seeming glued to his lips.

"April, April, not against the door," he managed to say. She jumped into his arms, legs straddled around his back, giving him no choice but to steady himself quickly enough so he could carry her to the other side of the room before she tore all of his clothes off. He wobbled through the office trying to find a place to put her down or something but she remained latched around his neck, planting a thousand kisses down his face. He lowered her down the center of the room on the floor and they sat and made out for a minute. It wasn't nice or romantic – more violent than anything. April pushed her hands against his chest and forced him onto his back on the floor. Ben was breathing heavily trying to suppress a smile or some ungodly noise.

She unbuckled his pants quickly with nimble fingers just as she always seemed to be able to do and pulled off her own pants, leaving them dangling over one ankle. She swung her other leg across his lap and lowered her head to his crotch, working her mouth around his stiff cock. All he can think is don't bite down, please god, don't bite down. It's not an unreasonable wish. She bobbed her head up and down and he tried to relax, tried to forget that he knew nearly every single person in the building. She soon got bored giving him head, naturally, and crawled up his body, sliding over him. They tried to suppress their noises as much as they could knowing that they had co-workers just next door and across the hall.

Everything went fine for a minute. April pushed down on Ben, restricting his movement to nearly nothing and bounced faster than what was entirely comfortable. And then she started shouting at him.

"Ew Ben, I can't believe you're fucking Leslie!"

"Wow, that's probably not the best thing - oh god – to say when you're – fuck – fucking me."

"I don't – mmm – fucking care! That's disgusting!"

"Can we think about b-b-better things when we're doing… this?"

"Shut up!" she said this much too loud. Ben was sure someone hear. But before he had time to say anything, she slapped him hard across the face leaving a red streak on his cheek

"Ow fuck! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

She continued to fuck him as he shouted expletives at her such as "get the fuck off me you psychotic bitch." She left right after they were done, leaving Ben to clean up his dignity and force himself to talk to Leslie. Why couldn't anything be normal? His girlfriend was too shy and nerdy to have that exciting edge he looked for in a girl and his lover was too crazy and jealous (and married) to even have normal unadulterated sex with. Nothing felt right with either of them. He denied spending the evening with Leslie using the excuse to that he needed to talk to April about not telling anyone. At least that wasn't a total lie. He did need to talk to April but more about why she decided to physically abuse him during sex and wish that she wasn't as bitter as she acted about Leslie – despite the fact she'd verbally denied it. This was the first day in a while that he desperately wanted his own place. One far away from April and far away from Leslie. Where he could see them at his leisure and live his life like a normal person, not one that had to shuffle one confusing lifestyle with another.