Joffrey
Elsewhere, Joffrey was up to no good. He had rather liked Sandor, much like one might like a favorite pet, and the sudden betrayal rankled.
(True, there was the fact that Sandor had saved Joffrey's life and then Joffrey had left him to die, and later he'd ordered his knights to kill Sandor, and he'd always called Sandor "dog" and mocked him, but all that didn't count. Joffrey mocked everyone. It didn't count. Right? Right?)
Since he wasn't old enough to get drunk, there was only one thing Joffrey could do: he ran to his family crying for help. His first choice of go-to adult would have been his mother, but Cersei was away on a cruise. His second choice would have been his uncle Jaime, but Jaime was on a cruise too. The same cruise as Cersei. They weren't even bothering with subtlety any more. So Joffrey went to his grandfather Tywin instead.
"Grandfather," Joffrey said. "I want you to take back my castle and kill Sandor Clegane!"
His grandfather glared at him, and Joffrey started to suspect that this might not have been his brightest idea. Lord Tywin was technically Joffrey's bannerman, but he did have an army. All Joffrey had were a dozen knights who were still recovering from being attacked by a direwolf and another dog.
"Take back my castle, please?" Joffrey added.
Tywin pursed his lips. "I shall," he said, "but I'm not doing this for you. If word spreads that a woman and a sellsword have taken over your castle, you'll be a laughingstock. Your family will be a laughingstock. I won't allow that."
"Thanks, grandpa," Joffrey said, because he had selective hearing and decided to ignore the contempt in Tywin's voice. "I'll need a thousand knights and ten thousand other men and a catapult and a pony..."
"No," Tywin snapped. "Haven't you been paying attention? I don't want anyone to find out about your disgrace."
"Then how will we take the castle back?" Joffrey pouted.
"I have a plan," said Tywin.
Author's note: Plot twist! Joffrey replaced Sandor as a protagonist!
...
No, just kidding, don't leave! I'll post a new chapter tomorrow to make up for this super-short one.