Here's chapter two! Hope you all enjoy.
Still don't own anything. Still can't believe we have to wait till August for iLMM.
It's been three whole days since my heart was broken into tiny pieces. All because of him. Carly's tried her best to cheer me up, but none of her attempts have worked, and they might never work. I've been in a state of shock ever since I saw everything unfold before my eyes. Neither one of us have spoken to him in the three days since. He's tried calling and texting both of us...I wanted to break so bad and respond to one of them and tell him off. But Carls grabbed my phone and hid it from me, and as a show of true friendship, she's ignored all of his calls and texts too. Where would I be without her? Probably crying my eyes out every night. It's amazing how much of a rock Carly's become for me.
All we've done since then is stay inside the apartment. The few times Carly left me alone was when she went to school, because she knew better than to try and drag me there when I had almost all of my classes with that jerk. So when she was at school, I pretty much remained locked up in her room, either sleeping or writing down my feelings about everything in a book that Carly gave me. She says it'll help me with my anger towards the whole thing. I'd rather break something than write anything in a book...but I know that she's trying her hardest to help me get through this, so it's the least I could do to show her that I appreciate everything she's doing.
I heard the door swing open and in walked Carly, holding up a big bag of chinese food and another bag that I'm sure was filled with various meats. She was smiling all the way as she set the bags down on the bed, sitting across from me. I looked up from my notebook at her and smiled weakly at her. If this was any other time, that food would be half gone by now. Now...gorging myself on half my body weight in steaks and eggrolls doesn't seem all too appealing. Carly raises an eyebrow at me as she digs through one of the bags while I turn my attention back to my notebook. I've got a bunch of song lyrics about heartbreak scribbled down along with some of my own thoughts. They're mostly depressing and very unlike me...but whatever. I can't change how I feel about Freddie, and I obviously can't change how he feels about her. That little tart. A part of me really just wants to rip her to shreds and make her go crying to her mother. But the voice in my head (which sounds a lot like Carly, now that I think about it) tells me that it's not worth the added trouble. Which, I suppose, it isn't. I can't afford another trip to juvy at this rate. But then again...I do know people...
"Sam, are you thinking murderous thoughts again?", Carly asks, her voice penetrating the air of silence in the room that's been here ever since she left to go get said food an hour ago. I don't look at her this time and instead mumble something under my breath. So what if I am? As long as they're not entirely directed at him, it's ok.
"Can you at least say something to me, Sam? You haven't spoken a word all day, and it's upsetting. Have you been writing in the notebook I gave you?", she asks again, more concern apparent in her voice this time. I manage to catch her glance for a moment and all I can do is roll my eyes. Which was probably the wrong thing to do, but ehhh whatever. I just want the pain to end. I want everything to be different than how it is now. I wish that a boy, a stupid stupid STUPID boy didn't make me feel like the lowest form of crap ever. Even if he's as kind and caring and hot as Freddie...not now, Puckett. I've done well so far...I need to remain strong for mine and Carly's sake...
"You're not even eating. Sam, I told you, if you want to talk, you know I'll listen. Please...you've done so good so far. Don't break down and shut me out now."
I finally look up from my notebook and stare directly into Carly's eyes. All she wants to do is be there for me and hear me vent and maybe watch me break a few bones or things...well, not so much that last thing, but I'm sure she wants me to just do something. The problem is...I don't know what to do. I've cried myself out and I feel like if I leave her room, I'm going to want to leave the apartment and just run away for good. I don't know where I'd go, but so long as I'd never have to see his face again, I think I'd survive. I'm a Puckett. We can take care of ourselves.
Yet...
"What do you want me to say, Carls? I've said everything I possibly could. Nothing I say or do is going to change the fact that he threw my heart into a blender and turned it on frappe. Whether he knows it or not, he hurt me. He hurt me bad. And there's no going back from that."
Wow, when did I become so serious? That didn't sound anything like me at all...but given the situation, everything I just said is pretty much true. I want to hate him for what he's done to me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. It's annoying me to no end, knowing that my stupid idiotic feelings for him are preventing me from breaking every bone in his body. Like I said before...I just wish it would end already.
Carly's giving me a super worried look while she gets up off the bed to go put her jacket away. I shrug my shoulders and return to scribbling random thoughts into my notebook, not even giving the heaping array of food in front of me a second glance. I know there's something wrong with me when a carton of pork fried rice isn't swallowed whole within two minutes of it being put in front of me. But my appetite...surprisingly...hasn't been present these past three days. It's mildly irritating and a bit scary that I'm not devouring food at my usual rate...but it's just a phase. It'll pass...
"Sam, you've got to at least eat. I got all your favorites! Eggrolls, pork fried rice, sweet and sour chicken, spare ribs...ham...beef jerky...two pounds of bacon...nothing?"
"Nothing."
She pouted for a second then mumbled something under her breath about taking a shower and being back shortly. And by shortly, that means two hours. As she disappeared into her bathroom, I glanced over at all the food she got and suddenly felt a small pang of guilt. Carly really didn't have to go out of her way to get all this food for me. Peeking into the bag, I saw packets of ham on the top, so I slid my hand inside the bag and grabbed one. Tearing open the bag, I grabbed a piece and was about to silently enjoy one of my favorite meats ever when there was a soft knock at the door, and Spencer walked in. I quickly ate a piece and threw the rest in the bag as he waved and grabbed a chair, sitting down next to me.
I wonder what he wants...
"Hey Sam. How ya holding up?"
Oh great. He wants to talk. This should go well.
"How do you think, Spence?"
"Wow, that's like, the first words you've spoken to me in three days. I kinda almost forgot what your voice sounded like."
All I could manage at that point was an eye roll as I diverted my attention back to my notebook. I could tell that Spence was frowning because he didn't immediately say anything else, so I took that as my cue to just continue writing things down. I heard music begin to come from the bathroom, which meant that Carly was going to be in there for forever, just like I suspected.
"Sam? You're not gonna talk to me?"
I sighed loud enough for him to hear and set my notebook off to the side. What's the harm in speaking to Spencer? Carly's gonna be a while and well...he's always kinda been like an older brother to me. Just stupid. Loveable. But stupid.
"I haven't really been in the most talkative mood lately, Spence. It's been kinda rough."
"Yeah...Carly told me all about it yesterday, told me why she's keeping you holed up in here and not making you go to school. I'm...I'm sorry about what happened, kiddo."
"You've got no reason to be sorry, Spencer...you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't even know the situation till Carly told you..."
Looking away, I took in a deep breath and ran one of my hands through my hair. What's the worst that could happen, Puckett? He says something dumb and you tell him to leave you alone? Exactly. So you might as well humor him and see if he can say anything different and try to help out.
"I'm just...new to this whole...being hurt thing, you know? Like...I've been hurt before Spence, everyone has...but I've never been hurt like this...it sucks...I don't know whether to cry, scream or do both. I hate this feeling!"
"Sam...it's ok to feel vulnerable every now and then. I know that this is new to you, but you're no different from me or Carly or even Gibby. It happens to everyone, kiddo...are you shedding a tear?"
What? I pawed at my cheek and sure enough, there was a tear there that was threatening to fall. I looked away and cursed myself for showing weakness in front of Spencer...he's not supposed to see me like this. Nobody but Carly is...but he is her older brother, and he's been through a lot of chiz with the thr...two of us...oh this is so confusing and hard for me right now...
"Before you say anything, Sam, don't apologize. I know it's rare that you cry and whatnot, but it's ok...I won't think differently of you. You'll always be the butt kicking, meat loving, lazy but loveable best friend of my little sister who never seems to leave my home. Now c'mere, give old Spencer a hug will ya?"
He smiled warmly at me while I looked up and met his eyes. All told, he really was just trying to help me, and I'm surprised he didn't say anything dumb. He's got his moments though...this was one of them. I reached forward and wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same and it felt...nice. It's a real nice thing knowing that Spence'll always be there for me, even if I do steal all his food and drinks.
Next thing I knew, he was murmuring something about needing to finish his next sculpture before tomorrow, so he patted my head and bid me farewell, disappearing back downstairs while the music from the bathroom still echoed in the room. She really does take forever in there when she's depressed, that girl. I rolled my eyes and laid down on the bed, subconsciously grabbing the pack of ham I opened earlier, eating it while I stared at the ceiling. My eyes were beginning to grow heavy and I was beginning to fall asleep when I heard Carly's phone going off.
Sighing and sitting back up, I swung my legs around and got off the bed, walking to her desk to grab the phone...and then my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. The caller ID read "Freddie". All I could do was stare at the screen, wondering what the heck I should do. I can't interrupt Carly during her shower...she'd kill me. And Spencer's pre-occupied as well...crapcrapcrap!
I should probably just let it go. I mean, all his calls and texts have been ignored by Carly since then...so why should this instance be any different? Yeah...just let the call go to voicemail like all the others, Puckett...but why do I have this urge to pick it up and speak with him? Gah this is confusing and bad. The phone kept ringing and ringing...screw it...I should be thankful right now that Carly's in the shower or else she'd really kill me if she saw me doing this...I reached over and...
"Freddie?"