A/N: This took me so long. SO LONG. So for those of you still reading, instead of my customary middle to short length I decided to give you a long one as apology. Forgive me. Read. Enjoy. Review.

Chapter 13: Wound Me

Lana swallowed hard. Of all the words that were jumbling around her head, only one, and probably the least intelligent of them all, came out. "What?"

"I am blind."

"Wh-H--M--?" Lana shut her mouth before idiocy fell from her lips. She stood up and took a deep breath. Any noble worth their salt would not be caught with words like that coming from their mouth. And she was a princess! "Blind? What do you mean?"

Or a question like that.

"As in I can't see." Zain's voice was patient as if he had experience in bringing such shocking news.

Maybe she should try for a better question? "Have you been blind all the time?"

"I think that in some ways my life would be better if I had been blind from the beginning." The question did nothing to slake off some of the confusion. In fact, it added to it.

One thing at a time. "So, is that a no?"

"Perhaps I should have just said I lost my sight." He said. "I take it Leon has already left?"

"Yes. Though I can't figure why he would--" She stopped halfway through her sentence. "How did you know he had left?"

"I...can See."

"Really?" She leaned over. His eyes were black now. Before they had been the lightest gray, so clear she thought she would be able to see the future. Now they were opaque. Hidden. His eyes didn't move to notice her. They stayed blank and unfocused. She let out a small sigh which made air blow gently on his face.

He caught her face with both hands. He was smiling a bit but like most the smiles she saw from him it was a torn smile. A smile that carried pain while it held some semblance of happiness. "Not with these eyes. Not now."

Lana had the urge to hug him, kiss him, do anything that would make the pain disappear from his eyes. It seemed wrong that his beautiful face should be marred by a broken smile like that one. Just the sight of it made tears swell in her eyes. "What do you mean then?"

Lana put her hands over his which rested on each of her cheeks. Just as she did so a single tear rolled down her nose and dripped onto his face. He blinked and as if he had been reminded of something he removed his hands from her. She didn't know if he knew or had any possible idea why she was crying. It bothered some men to see women crying. Perhaps it was something the gods built them with. Though for some men it was just the fact that they found themselves uncomfortable around a crying woman.

Zain didn't seem surprised she was crying. In fact it seemed like he expected it.

"I See the future." He went on to answer her question.

She sat back in the chair wiping her eyes. Her voice showed no hint of the tears. "Would you like to elaborate?"

"I think the, ah, explanation should be saved until your brothers can hear it, too." Zain closed his eyes and sighed. His voice was soft just as it always was, soothing almost. Despite the fact that it fit him so well it seemed like the voice was part something else. A piece of him was part something else, something of magic and possibilities. Lana shook her head not understanding her thoughts.

"I'll bring them here in a little while. You rest a bit." Zain gave a small nod and she stood. Just as she exited the door a shiver ran up her spine. The presence in the back of her mind sort of shivered with excitement. Lana caught a faint reasoning for the reaction. She picked up one fragment of a thought just before it was closed off to her. Sees the future...such power.

Lana pushed that away for now but shed think about it later. She checked her brother's rooms to find neither of them there. Next thing on her list was to check the common room. They were there.

Damien was facing away from her and Vincent was placed just so that if he looked up he would have seen her. A sudden thought came into her head. A grin pulled at her lips. She moved slowly, creeping up behind him.

Vincent looked up and raised his brows only slightly. Lana put a finger over her lips to indicate she didn't want him to give her away. He continued talking. "I didn't know they were sending over the princess to Karucia so soon."

"Perhaps Mother forgot to mention it to us?" Damien said.

"Possible but not likely." Vincent said nodding.

"I thi--" Lana cut him off by using one hand to cover both his eyes. She kept the other hand free having a feeling she was going to need it.

Something like a growl escaped Damien. He grabbed her arm and squeezed. Just before it began to hurt unbearably Lana brought her other hand to slap his face. He let go when she started laughing.

"Lana." He growled.

She came around, took a loose chair from another table and sat in it.

She sighed. Vincent or Damien would have noticed that it looked like she was crying. Neither would say anything though. They knew her too well for that. "I wish we could contact Emereth to see how he's faring. I know he didn't know she was being sent over before we left."

A ghost of a smile came to Damien's face. "I think we can guess at his reaction."

"He'll be a bit anxious." Vincent said nodding.

"But he'll take it well because he's like that." Lana put in. "He's so ready for the crown it scares me sometimes."

Damien nodded.

Lana frowned. "I miss my Emmie." Vincent snickered at the nickname Lana loved to use but Emereth hated to hear. "He needs someone to be there to help him through this. Just because he knows what he has to do doesn't mean he-he..."

Lana shook her head. Why was she crying so much today? She let out a wet laugh. "I'm sorry."

"You aren't regretting that we left are you?" Vincent pushed a handkerchief under her turned down face.

"I don't think so." She answered truthfully enough. "I want to be here. It's just odd being so far away and on the other side of the information going there."

"That's not all is it?" Damien prodded.

Lana sniffed but was sure no more tears would come. "Emmie's there and--well hopefully by now he knows the princess is coming--but who is he supposed to turn to? He's the Crown Prince so there isn't really anyone to talk to about it. I'd make him tell me but I'm not there am I? And neither are the two of you. I know I'd hate to be in his position. Feeling so alone."

She wrapped her arms around herself. Loneliness reminded her of something in Zain's eyes.

"But Lana--" Vincent began.

"--We're different from Emereth." Damien finished.

"Because there's three of us and only one of him. He's always needed himself to be whole." Vincent continued.

"And we need the three of us to be whole." Damien said.

"So what you're saying is I don't really understand because I've always had you two?" Lana said trying for a smile. "That because we've always been together--"

Vincent smiled. "Then of course the thought of being as 'alone' as Emereth would shake you up a bit."

"We've always been together." The triplets said together. Lana nodded.

"While that may be true." Lana said. "Don't downplay that Emereth would miss us at all in a situation like this one."

Emereth wanted to be alone. To be able to think--or not think--about his situation. Who was he kidding? How could he think of anything but his betrothal?

His mother had told him a couple days ago that Princess Nozomi was already on her way. When the news first came to him his reaction had been nothing spectacular. He had nodded. Arra had seemed surprised but let him leave her presence. What was there to be surprised or shocked about? He'd known he was going to marry a Yamani princess and now it was upon him. Simple. That was it. It had always been planned and now it was happening.

Well, that's what he repeated in his head over and over again after that. It was exactly what was happening. It was true. But it wasn't comforting.

Anxiety set in days after. As if because of the strength it took to be prince it had taken days for the information to penetrate down to his core. It had succeeded which was why he wanted to be alone right now.

A small smile curved his lips. If Lana saw him right now, sprawled on his bed with his sleeping clothes still on at noon, she'd have jumped on him and kept it up till he decided to rise for the day.

But nobody had bothered him at all. He had no delusions that everyone forgot about him. No one would, especially with the triplets gone and the events beginning to zero in on him. Emereth just had a feeling that his mother had told everyone to leave him be for a while. For that he was grateful but he might have felt better if he could spill any fears and nerves he had to someone.

Emereth rolled over on his stomach. He put his face in the pillow and groaned.

If anyone thought he would try something to ruin the betrothal they were wrong. When Princess Nozomi's boat reached Karucian shores he would be there to greet her. He would be polite and accept her into Karucia. He would even try his best to like her and if possible have her like him back.

Today was just the day he needed to let himself panic about it.

He rolled back over and threw one arm over his eyes. Emereth had kept himself from flirting with any of the court ladies. That wasn't to say he didn't try when he had first reached the age to want a woman and be in court. When he found out he would have to be betrothed to someone from the Yamani Isles he stopped. It hadn't seemed right somehow.

Lana went through a phase where she was absolutely fascinated with the reactions she could produce from men. She grew out of it in time, quite a bit of time, after that she kept any romances under better protection.

Vincent had always attracted the lady folk with his humor and looks. He liked the attention and flirted freely. No past tense there, he still did when he could.

Damien. Even watching closely, Emereth could catch nothing from him. Neither flirting nor favoritism among the women (or men for that matter). If he had any romances among the court, Damien kept his secret.

It wasn't pleasant thinking, or every now and then accidentally seeing, his sister and brothers kissing or touching others. Emereth just watched out for his younger siblings. It was his job as the eldest. A job that would someday encompass all of Karucia.

His nerves wound so tight he eventually drifted off to sleep, his body doing the only thing it could after being so tense for a long time. He woke up when the door to his room opened. The light through the windows was orange with the late sun and he sighed. He'd spent the whole day here.

Arra walked in. She went straight to his closet and pulled out the simplest clothes he had. She threw them on the bed. "I let you brood in here for the day. Was it any fun?"

"No." He croaked, voice heavy and more sluggish with a daytime nap than any night sleep could bring.

"Did it make you feel any better?"

He rolled on his side and groaned. "No."

"Remember it. Brooding never makes you feel better. Now get up and change. I'll be waiting just outside your chambers." She started walking away to the door. "I mean it. " She called behind her.

Emereth sat up reluctantly. He changed into the clothes his mother had chosen out and went to the sink in the next chamber over. He splashed water on his face and washed out his mouth. He took his wet hands and smoothed back his hair, which got it mildly under control. He walked out and just like she said, Arra was waiting for him at his door.

"Come on, we'll go to the kitchens to eat. Don't tell your father I didn't remind us to dine with him and the advisers." She smiled and he could see a space between the edge of her lips that suggested she was close to a grin. As long as he'd been alive she had never grinned. Smiles all the way but no grin.

He smiled though. Sad thing was his mother probably wasn't joking. He raised his brows after a moment. "Are you telling me to eat?"

"I'll not have you talking to me like that, young man." Her voice was stern but she smiled to let him know he meant it lightly. "And besides according to your father I--we--need to eat. An odd thought, that." She paused and flicked her crystal blue eyes to him. "Are you hungry?"

He paused to think about it and give her a true answer. "No."

Arra nodded. "You get that from me. In the very least I'll make you eat."

"Don't worry, I'll make you eat too."

"And that," She grumbled. "you get from your father."

Emereth noticed she, too, was dressed in simple clothes. It reminded him of a story that passed around the palace and was still told every now and then.

In the beginning of her reign, Arra had cleaned out the staff. Not all of them, of course, that would have been near impossible, but she did interview each of them and spent time with them to see if maybe she could trust them. When she started doing this some of the staff had run away before their appointment with her which just proved that some of them weren't as trustworthy as Arra would have liked.

She even interviewed the replacements. No one expected the Queen herself to perform such a lowly job. So when people came in to work for the palace they weren't expecting the queen to interview them herself. Even the ones who had been told she would didn't believe it because...well the only place that information would be good in would be a joke.

So even after Arra hired the replacements and they worked in the palace they still did not believe the woman who had interviewed them was the queen. Arra knew this and visited them, probably more often than she should have.

One of the cooks had even told Arra after a while that he had worked in the palace for two months and still not seen the queen. He'd seen the King on occasion but the Queen was a tricky one.

"What are you thinking about?" Arra said breaking the train of thought. She could have asked because she was curious but Emereth thought it was because she didn't want him to start brooding again.

"I was thinking about--" He paused because it usually wasn't good form to tell someone of the stories about them. He shrugged. She had asked. "Do you remember that story people tell about you and the cooks?"

"Which one?"

Emereth raised his brows as they turned down one of the corridors. There was more than one? "Re-staffing the kitchens."

A rare involuntary smile came over her. "That's a fun one. What made you think of that?"

"The way you're dressed and where we're going." He said. "It seems kind of like you try to be as regular as you can around them."

Arra shrugged. "It sometimes still surprises them if I come decked out in queen garb."

"Not that you like to be that way anyways." Emereth remarked.

"I'll tell you something, Emereth." Her voice was soft enough that he knew her next words would be truthful. "Dressing like this, simple as I can, is for me as much as it is for them. They treat me normal because they did not know me as a queen first and it was easier to continue as we had than to backtrack into formalities. I dress like this because I'm comfortable in it and they are comfortable seeing me in it."

She smiled a little sadly and shook her head. "It's become a reflex to say something along the lines of 'Call me Arra.' I constantly tell them not to call me Majesty or Queen. In the kitchens, they don't bother and I like that." She laughed suddenly and loudly. "For weeks they continued to question me as to what I did in the palace."

Emereth found it ironic that she had problems with eating and yet one of her favorite places to be was the kitchen. "It's all right...Arra."

Arra moved too fast for him to react. She landed a blow just above both his knees which made them give. He went down to his knees and might have fallen back if Arra hadn't grabbed him where his neck met the back of his skull. She looked down into his eyes. "I am always mother, or any variation of that, to you."

Emereth smiled.

The chief cook,Warain, grinned when Arra entered the room. "Arra! You look positively scrawny. Get in here and I'll see what I can scrounge up for you!"

Everyone else smiled, waved, or called out hellos. None of them stopped working though, they continued to knead doe, whisk contents in bowls, and chop. Arra didn't seem bothered by the fact that they didn't give her the attention a queen deserved. Emereth followed in behind her.

Warain's grin faltered. He put down the large cooking knife he'd been holding and bowed. "Prince Emereth."

Others were about to bow or show some kind of recognition. Before he could protest Arra spoke. "Knock it off. Give us some food! Don't waste time with silly frivolities like that."

Warain laughed and picked up his knife again. "I like you Arra. If you weren't married..."

Arra laughed, too. "Think awful highly of yourself don't you?"

After they had eaten, Emereth had new thoughts to fill his head. Whenever he came to the kitchens, they always bowed and he'd never thought anything of it. Today, comparing their reaction to him and their reaction to his mother he'd felt awkward. Had he ever entered gone into the kitchens with her before?

"It's good for your people to like you." Arra said suddenly. "It's good if they respect you but if they like you it just might get you farther."

He understood now. He nodded. She'd brought him here to teach him another lesson. But it seemed more like she was trying to ease him into the position she'd made for herself at the palace.

"I may not be a very good queen but even I know simple ways to not destroy myself."

Emereth wasn't sure his mouth could have stayed closed if he had tried. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone speak bad of you or say you are anything but a good queen."

She smiled. "I rely on Liam a lot. The two of us together put up a strong front or maybe he's just my strong front." She shrugged as if it were no more than the truth. "And don't tell anyone I called myself a bad queen. If people hear the queen doesn't think she's right to be queen I would be hurting my own power base."

Arra eventually was called away for business but just before she left she gave him directions, "Meet me tomorrow on the practice fields at dawn and two hours before dusk." At the quizzical look on his face she continued. "I may not be Lana but I'll manage to get you off your moping ways somehow."

And he had a feeling he knew exactly how she would do it.

Zain opened his eyes to a darkness that had become ritual. Which Path would he choose? He'd come this far. He could leave now, it wasn't too late. He would have to find a new guide though. And even now his mother's teachings pressed in against him and what he wanted, what he'd dreamed about.

He couldn't do this. He'd done enough already. But the possibilities...they were open to him. Why would he have these visions if he wasn't supposed to do anything important with them? Doubts filled his mind.

The door opened and even before she spoke Zain knew who it was. He had, after all, Seen it already. "Zain?" Lana whispered into the room. "Are you feeling any better?"

Better? Better than what? "I am fine."

"I brought Vincent and Damien."

Zain nodded. He might have sat up but his bones still felt weak like they still had not fully returned from all of the visions. At the same time, it didn't feel right to be laying in such a helpless position. "Can you help me sit up, please?"

"Of course." Vincent said.

Strong arms took his elbows and shoulders and vaulted him into a sitting position. His face contorted in pain. A picture of Lana slid in behind his blindness. She was wincing in sympathy. That small image made him sigh.

"Anything you'd like to start with?" Zain asked somewhat resigned.

Lana would have started with the scars but Damien beat her to the punch. "Why did you seize in the common room?"

Lana watched him. Black eyes moved from one side to the other, back and forth as if he had made a list and he was deciding what information to give and what not to.

"I have the Sight." He finally said. "Or a version of it. I have...overwhelming visions."

"Visions of what?" Vincent's voice held a tenderness that could wipe away anyone's doubt of his sensitivities.

"Anything." Zain whispered. "Future, past, present."

Visions of the future were the hardest on his mind. The possibilities would flood him. But the past and present hurt his heart to see. They had either happened or were happening. It was one string, one path to follow but there was nothing to be done to change it.

Everyone paused. Zain's hands clenched. Damien spoke up first again. He spoke softly. "Lana tells us you are blind?"

He nodded. "For every vision I have I am blinded for a period of time. It...is impossible to tell for how long."

It was as if because he'd seen more than he should have, the Fate sisters blinded him. He couldn't remember how many times he'd asked his mother why did it have to be this way? or how many unhelpful answers he'd gotten from her.

Lana badly wanted to ask about the scars that ran up and down his forearms. Something about just going out and asking about them made her think twice. All manner of questions entered her mind about those scars. Had he done them himself, a sort of self mutilation? But then why had Leon immediately gone to him and stabbed him in that area? Was it just chance that he had landed the blow in a place already full of old wounds?

She rubbed across her forehead. Deciding what she would do, she took Vincent and Damien's wrists into her hands and squeezed. When they looked at her, she motioned towards the door with a jerk of her head telling them to leave. Vincent stood immediately.

"I need to check on some things. Feel better Zain." Vincent tugged a reluctant Damien to his feet. "I'll take Damien with me just in case it turns out I'm not smart enough to...check up on the horses."

He had ended that sentence lamely and Lana closed her eyes feeling it. Actually, from the beginning his excuse had been a disaster but it got him out of the room and that's what Lana's aim had been. The door let out a snick as it closed. Lana waited until she was sure they had left.

Zain seemed to wait patiently. His shocking black eyes looked blankly ahead which gave the impression that he was staring at her. Looking at him now, every muscle relaxed and his hands resting on his lap, she couldn't believe he would do this to himself. He didn't seem the type. Who am I to judge so easily?

For some reason, she had expected to have more time to come up with a way to sort out those thoughts. Maybe because somewhere in her head she hadn't expected Zain to know she was there. It was a stupid thought but it was there all the same. So when he spoke she jumped with surprise, just a bit.

"You must have something on your mind." Zain managed to make it both a statement and gentle prodding for her to speak.

"The, ah, scars on your arm, Zain," She began softly, uncertain on the proper tone to take because she was uncertain of the origins of all those old wounds. And then the words were pouring from her. "Please don't tell me you do this to yourself. Or was it Leon? He's gone now, so that's okay. Just..."

The very small smile on his face made her stop. Part of the reason she knew he had the smile was the dimple showing on his left cheek.

"This is serious to me! It may not be important but you can't let someone do that, even yourself!"

"I-I do not find it humorous." And upon closer inspection his smile had an edge to it. "I..."

He shook his head, dropped the sentence and left it at that. Lana was not content with that, however. "No, no. Tell me what that smile was then. Tell me, please."

Again there was that smile, a smile that held undertones of old pain. "It has been a while since I have met someone who would have...cared so much about these scars of mine. No, perhaps cared isn't the right word."

"Cared is the right word. I care." Lana said with feeling.

"Ah." Zain looked down and away. Lana thought she saw a faint blush on his cheeks but she didn't study it too long. He continued to speak. "I will need you to do something for me before I tell you about my scars."

For a moment, Lana was scared as to what he might ask. She quickly threw that specific fear away. It wasn't right to assume and Zain didn't seem the kind of person to ask that of her. "What is it? I have to know before I agree."

"I seem to need a new guard. Will you and your brothers be my new guide?" Lana was ready to say, yes of course but Zain didn't let her just yet. "You must know what the job entails. When my blindness comes you will have to lead me, guide me. And when it is not there you must stay with me and wait."

She licked her lips, not liking that his tone implied something worse to come. "Wait for what?"

"Wait until I have another attack, another vision, and when I do I'll need you to wound me." His voice had dropped and dropped until he was whispering. It didn't seem like he whispered because what he was asking was horrifying to him but because, it seemed, he feared how horrendous it would seem to her.

A/N: Wow. I think this is the longest chapter I have ever posted on I hope I still have some readers left...is there anybody out there? If so PLEASE REVIEW!! Let me know you read or even look at this still! (heck, right about now I'm willing to accept flames...almost).