AN- Ok I'm doing a rare Edward POV in this chapter. I don't really like doing them since I feel I don't do a good job at them, so I hope ya'll like it. Also, this is a different side of Smart Ass Bella and Asshole Edward. I hope it doesn't throw ya'll off. They'll be back soon enough. This is a little short of my 3,000 word limit. I just wanted to get this stuff out of the way.

Chapter 9

Bella POV

Why did I have to be so damaged? Why couldn't I be one of those free like a butterfly girls who doesn't worry about the effects of getting into a relationship, one that dives head first. I had to be that over thinker who couldn't get over past relationships, or relationship. Fucking Jason had to ruin me for any other guy, specifically a hotter than fuck guy with weird bronze hair, lips to die for, with a tongue as an extra bonus, and a personality that can bug the shit out of me. But no, as I said before, I was ruined.

I met Jason the beginning of my junior year in Phoenix. He was that typical "it" guy that all the girls wanted to be with, of course hot with confidence that seeped out of every one of his pours. He knew he could get anything he wanted and worked that to his advantage. Remind you of anyone?

To say I was surprised when he came to my cafeteria table one day and struck up a conversation would definitely be an understatement. He didn't come off as a man whore/asshole with me. He seemed to be down to earth. Very different from what I had seen of him in the hall ways and in classes that we had together. He never noticed me which didn't surprise me at all. When he came up to me that day, he didn't flirt or try to some cheesy pick up line to get into my pants. He simply asked if I was good at math. I told him yes, and by the end of the day, I became his new tutor.

We got together every Monday and Wednesday after school at my place for tutoring. And that's what we did for the first couple of weeks, study. After awhile he started staying a little bit longer after we were done to just hangout. We got to know each other as Monday and Wednesday turned into Monday through Thursday. At times we wouldn't even study. We would just watch T.V, listen to music, or just talk.

It became different at school also. I didn't have a car in Phoenix, so he started insisting that he pick me up in the morning and drop me off afterschool since he was going there anyway. He would walk with me to every class and eating lunch with him and his group became normal for me.

I slowly found myself falling in love with him, or the person I was made to believe was him. I never thought he was romantically interested, so I just kept my feelings to myself. Then one day when he was about to leave my house, he went in for a kiss.

From that night on, we became a couple. I was on cloud nine for the next 5 months. I was the girlfriend to Jason, what more could a girl ask for right? I thought that everything was perfect between us. He never pushed me to have sex with him. He always used the line "I don't want to rush you. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready." I gobbled that shit up like a prostitute at a whore convention. I finally decided to just do it. You know, just get it out of the way. What was I waiting for anyway? I loved him and he loved me right? So, there was no point to waiting.

And that was that….we made "love" in 5 min one day after school in my bedroom. Being that is was my first time, it wasn't anything spectacular. It was more awkward than anything else, but what first time is perfect with dancing rainbows and orgasm dust sprinkling around the air. If you say yours was, you're lying. Yet, I was still happy that I felt Jason and I had just taken our relationship to the next level. This was going to be the start of something great.

Wrong! The very next day, Jason didn't come to my house to pick me up from school. I brushed it off thinking maybe he was sick and couldn't call to let me know. That seemed like a good excuse. However, when I got to school that day and saw his car parked in the parking lot, I made up another excuse. Maybe he was running late to school and didn't have time to pick me up. Yeah, that had to be it.

As I headed to his locker where we usually met before classes started, I felt like somebody had just punched me in the chest causing me to lose my breath from the sight I was seeing. Jason had the school slut Brenda, also his ex girlfriend, pushed up against the locker and was making out and feeling her up right in the middle of the hallway for all to see, more importantly…..ME.

I marched right up to him to demand an answer for what the hell he was doing. He responded with a simple, "It was good while it lasted."

And that was it. That was my experience with my first serious relationship. After that I made a promise to myself that I would not allow myself to get in a serious relationship while in school. I didn't need to be hurt again by some asshole I had given my heart to. Before I came to Forks, I promised myself that I would only date casually until I was in college. That was all before I met Edward Cullen.

There was something about him that just pulled me in. I found myself actually considering and wanting that relationship with Edward after justr 6 days. Was that possible? I longed to feel that connection, and I knew it was there with Edward. He just reminds me so much of Jason that I just don't know if I'll ever really be able to trust him NOT to hurt me. What if he did the same thing?

I had to talk to him and try to make him see my point. I headed upstairs to Edwards room. I lightly knocked on the door waiting for him to answer. I was looking down and biting my lip waiting for him to open the door. When I heard the door creak open, I looked up and saw Edward leaning against the door with one hand on the frame. He let out a sigh and pushed the door open wider for me to enter his room.

His room. It was something else. It was huge with color tones of black and gray. His bed was pushed up against the far back wall with a small night stand beside it. It was facing toward an all glass window looking out toward the backyard and lake. It was remarkably clean for a guy's room. Everything seemed to have its place. On the wall to the left of his bed which also happened to be the wall with the door, there were built in shelves that had books upon books on one side, and records and cds on the other. The sound system was set right in the middle of the shelves. I guess he was music literate after all. You could see a door open beside his nightstand. It led into the restroom. I didn't get a good look in there. I could only get a quick glance before I turned around to face Edward.

Edward had already had the door shut and was running his hand through his hair. He must have known I was checking out his room.

"So, what do you want? You come to kick the puppy when it's down?" He asked.

"No, I just felt that I needed to explain to you where I'm coming from."

"Please Bella; enlighten me on why I'm not good enough for you."

"It's not that Edward, far from it." I shook my head. "I'm just scared."

I went on to tell him the whole story of what happened with James and my fears that he would do the same thing to me.

"That's bullshit you know. How can you automatically think that I'm gonna do that to you? Believe me Bella. I didn't expect this either. I'm not that guy who does this whole relationship shit, and this is why I've avoided it, drama-pure fucking drama. That's all it is, but you see, unlike you, I'm willing to step outside my boundaries to try it. Do you know why?" He touched my cheek. "Because I know it will be worth it. If only I could make you see that. Fuck! I'm turning into a pussy whooped bastard for you Bella!"

"I wish I could believe you Edward. I really do, but I need you to just work with me. Try and understand where I'm coming from. I don't feel I'm ready for a serious relationship, right now. I'm not saying ever. I'm just saying right now. I just want to be able to date casually, not be a slut and fuck every guy in school, but just hang out if I choose to, you know?" Edward let out another sigh. "Please, I'm just asking for time, and hey….we can actually become friends during this. I don't even know the real you, only the asshole you put out there."

"Well that's because I'm really an asshole." He smirked.

I slapped him on his arm, "I don't believe that for a second. Maybe before, but not anymore." I shook my head.

Edward seemed in a deep thought when he finally crossed his hands over his chest.

"Fine! I'll give you time, but just know that I won't wait forever. Then you'll be kicking yourself in the ass when you see this ship sail."

"And I'm not going to be that idiot who just sits around and pines for you while you "casually" date. I'm gonna be doing the same. Got it?"

"Roger that captain." I saluted him. I lunged at him giving him a hug, feeling his body pressed against mine. "That's all I'm asking for Edward. Time to get my mind set on if you're really worth it."

Edward hugged me back nuzzling his nose into my neck. "Then, that's what I'll give you. Just try not to take so long. I'm not very patient.

I giggled and enjoyed the felling of being wrapped in Edwards arms because who knows how long it would take to get my mind straight and be able feel him like this again.

Edward POV

Six days…..It's been six long days since my world has been turned upside down. Also, six days since I've officially turned into a pussy. I went from having the whole female population at my fingertips, to not wanting any of them except one, that one being Bella. The hot, saucy, smart ass firecracker who doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut. All turn-ons to me.

I've been trying to ignore her. I had succeeded up until last night. Jessica had been a help at keeping me distracted. Not sexually, just someone whose tits I could stare at to keep me occupied and not stare at Bella. Jessica would talk, and I would pretend to listen. But Jessica wasn't working last night; I couldn't keep my eyes off of Bella. The way she talked with her hands, pushed her hair behind her ears, or shook her ass when she walked. I blame that ass shaking that mesmerized me into to following her upstairs. I sure as hell didn't plan on it, but I did work it to my advantage as I tried to tease her as she did me earlier that day. I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine. That little stunt of hers put off my nap I had planned to take. It was hard to sleep when Little Edward, not fucking Eddie, demanded my attention.

But fuck did Bella turn that shit around on me yet again when she practically attacked me on the second floor. That shit was hot. I had been wanting to do that the past week, but of course avoided any thoughts of being with her like the plague.

That was starting to wear off though. I opened my mind to the thoughts of actually being in a relationship with Bella, being able to have her all to myself. I wanted that. Scratch that, I needed that. I thought about this of course after seeing her in her panties standing outside my door, pretending like she was actually cool being so exposed to me. I could tell different though. Her whole body was flushed. That was a dead giveaway. That girl was an open book at times; she was easy to read. That was one of those rare occurrences. After laying in bed thinking about Bella, I decided to go out to the backyard to clean up when I saw someone had beat me to it. I was pissed that she was cleaning. It wasn't her fucking job to do so, and I told her just that.

Once again, I felt that pull toward Bella, and this time, I let it pull me in without putting up a fight. I had made up my mind. I wanted Bella and only her. If only it was that easy to get her.

After her telling me about that dick Jason, I saw why she was so hesitant in getting into a relationship. I guess I could see why, but I didn't want to understand. I wanted her to just make up her fucking mind and say she wanted to be with me also, but being the hard headed girl I had fallen for, she said she needed time.

When she told me that she wanted to be able to date casually, I wanted to put my fist through the god damn wall, but that wouldn't have made a good impression on her, so I decided to run with that shit. I told her I would do the same, but I was only doing it for one reason and one reason only, to make Bella jealous. I know how girl's minds work. Once they see someone messing with something that is theirs, they get all territorial and want their property back. I wasn't technically hers yet, but in due time, I would be. If everything went my way, I would have Bella in no time.

So she wanted time, and time is what I decided to give her.

AN-If this is going in a stupid direction let me know please.