A/N- Thank you all for the reviews!! Some of them make me laugh! Especially the "NON" creeper and the "Possible" Bug a boo!! You guys are awesome, and I'm glad ya'll are liking the story. It makes me happy that you guys actually find it funny. OH! And sorry for the long wait for an update. I've had so many things on my mind that I found it hard to write anything…..I just got back into the groove of it.
Chapter 15
After waking up on the phone to the sound of Edward breathing, I started getting ready for the day. Today was the official beginning of Provoke the Green Monster. I was going to start off subtle. I couldn't make it obvious to what my plans were. I wasn't going to start "dating" Jacob after only one day. That would be too noticeable, can't have that now.
The whole day had been good as I predicted. Fortunately, Jessica was out of school for the day. She must have had a doctor's appointment to refill her herpes medication. I didn't have to watch her hang off of Edward. I had a day off from that bull shit. I couldn't let this affect my plan though. I had to keep my eye on the prize? Goal? Ball? Damn it…I had to keep it on something other than Edwards's body and face! Wait, that could be considered the prize if you really think about it. Yup, prize is what it would be then.
At the start of the day in biology we had to do an experiment, dissection.
"Ewww….I'm not doing it! You do it! I don't want to touch it!"
"Come on, it's just a damn frog!"
"No way. It's cruel and disgusting. I'll pass thank you very much."
"Jeez Edward, it's a dead frog. You're not gonna hurt it or kill it by cutting into it. Stop being such a girl!"
"Nope, I won't do it and you can't make me." Edward crossed his arms like a 3 year old little boy.
With that being said, I began to cut into the frog with Edward standing behind me with one hand covering his mouth.
The rest of the day seemed to breeze by. Jacob sat with us at lunch and I made sure to remind him of our plan before we got into the cafeteria. We all sat at the table, minus Jessica, talking and joking. I made sure to sit closer to Jake and laugh at every semi funny thing he said. I even managed to throw in an arm slap sometimes letting my hand linger there just for Edwards's sake. I had to deal with it from Jessica. It was now time for him to get a taste of his own medicine.
"You always know how to make me laugh Jake. I've missed that." I leaned toward Jake giving a side glance toward Edward who didn't look to happy in the least.
"Well, I'm here for a while Bella…..you can't complain now." He replied. He was playing his role well.
"cough I can.. cough" Well hey there Green Monster.
"I'm sorry Eddy. Did you say something?" asked Jacob. I knew he was using Eddy just to get on his nerves and piss him off.
"No I didn't Jacobi."
Jake put his serious face on and replied, "Its Jacob. There's no i at the end."
"Oh really? I guess I didn't pay too much attention to your name yesterday, just like you didn't to mine." It was like a gun fight, both of them were just staring each other down with their hands on the trigger.
"But I did catch your name Eddy. I just shortened that shit, unless you like being called a 98 year old man's name?"
Edward narrowed his eyes for a second before regaining his composure, "Yeah I do, so it's best if you respect your elders Jakey."
The bell rang ruining my fun amusement. DAMN YOU BELL! I could have gone for seeing one of them challenge the other to a duel!
I waited in bed that night to see if Edward was going to call or text me this time. He did neither. I Jake must have really got to him earlier. I guess that was great, but it didn't stop me from missing his texts.
I woke up in the morning in an especially good mood, maybe because it was Friday. Today was the day I promised Alice that I would sleepover at her house. I grabbed my stuff for the night, actually taking my own clothes so that Alice didn't have an excuse to dress me and so Edward didn't have to see me in my panties again. I loaded the stuff into the car and headed off to school.
I walked into Biology and noticed that Edward and Alice both were not in class. Weird, 20 minutes passed and still no text from…….
-Good Morning Bella!! I know you are probably freaking out noticing I'm not there in Biology, but don't worry, I'll be there starting second period. I know you miss me.
Yeah, I was having a minor panic attack. I thought you skipped school entirely. I didn't know how I was gonna get through gym without you.
-I'm not that cruel to let you fend for yourself in gym. I know Mrs. Man still has her eye out for you ;)
Sigh….Just when I was starting to forget…you bring it up again.
-Of course, It was epic…..I'll never let you forget that lol!
A GOOD friend wouldn't. Anyway…….I gotta go, the teacher is giving me the stink eye….
-Does he not know you bust teachers faces open? He BETTA recognize!! Ok…Later!
I shook my head and put my phone away before the Nazi phone teacher took it up. I was actually relieved that Alice wouldn't be out the whole day. That meant Edward would be here also, right?
I ran into Jake after first period. I let him know that he did a great job yesterday at lunch, but that we would have to step up our game starting Monday morning. I had just the idea on how to do it. I invited him and Leah out to lunch on Sunday, on the reservation of course. I couldn't take a chance of Edward seeing Leah. We would talk about the plan then.
The day went fairly quick, by the time I knew it, it was time for gym. Alice kept her word; she was in school after second period waiting for me at my locker. I was still weary walking into the gym. It had been three days since the racket incident, and I could still feel the glares from the gym teacher who was wearing one of those nose brace things. I wonder if she would have that crooked Owen Wilson nose going on now. If anything, it could be an improvement for her.
While sitting down in our regular spot I noticed the ropes were hanging down from the top of the gym ceiling.
"Oh no..." I groaned, "Are we going to have to climb ropes today? I'd taking running over this. I can't pull myself up! Down I have no problem with…..but going up?"
"Don't worry about it….You can do it. What's so hard about pulling yourself up on a rope? It's just one hand over the other and squeezing the rope with your thighs. Simple!"
"What's so hard about swinging a racket?"
Alice laughed, "You have a point, well, good luck! You'll need it."
"Yeah, thanks." I muttered.
There were 5 different ropes. I made sure to stand in line with Alice. I noticed Edward and Jessica were in the next line over along with her skanky girlfriends. I'm glad I chose this rope. Who knows what I could have caught by just sharing a rope with those girls. I stood at the end of the line letting everyone go in front of me to put off my embarrassment for a couple of minutes.
While waiting for my go, I saw Edward was the first to climb the rope. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him and he pulled himself up easily. My eyes were mesmerized on his forearms as they worked their way up the rope. I didn't even notice he slid down and walked to the end of the line until he threw a wink in my direction.
I shook my head and mouthed, "Asshole." He threw his head back in laughter causing Jessica, who was up next, to turn around and notice the interaction between Edward and I. She gave me what I guess was supposed to be her most evil glare, which only turned out to look like she was constipated. I stared right back her as if to challenge her to say something.
It never came to that since Mrs. Man yelled right next to Jessica's ear, "HURRY UP AND CLIMB THAT ROPE STANLEY INSTEAD OF STARING AT SWAN, UNLESS YOU PLAN ON CLIMBING HER!"
Jessica stood there with her mouth open for a split second before running to the rope like it was a piece of bacon and began to climb it, or shall I say TRIED to climb it. She first turned to Edward and said, "Watch my skills as I grip this THICK rope." Ewww….I looked to Edward and he seemed just as disgusted as me until he saw me looking at him.
Jessica got about midway up the rope before her ass started to succumb to gravity and pull her down. What goes up must come down. She still tried to pull her way up, but the weight was too much. She slowly started sliding down before she started to slide down faster.
"Ouch my hands!! I'm getting rope burn!!" She screeched.
I nudged Alice, "Well she can just add it to her list of burns…..Rug burn and now Rope burn. She's on her way up in the world." Alice laughed as we looked on the sight before us.
Jessica finally gave up and let go of the rope causing her to fly down toward the ground. She would have went splat on the gym floor had it not been for Mrs. Man standing directly below her. Jessica landed right on top of the coach causing both of them to fall to the gym floor.
"DAMN IT!! YOU KIDS ARE GOING TO KILL ME!!" Yelled Mrs. Man. "GET OFF ME STANLEY!! YOU AREN'T LIGHT AS A FEATHER!"
Jessica quickly pulled herself up and off of the coach.
"Gym class is over! Go get changed and sit on the bleachers till the bell rings…..AGAIN!" She walked of mumbling to herself, "First that clumsy girl busts my nose, and then I get smashed by a chunkster."
I automatically blushed remembering the racket incident. Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me along to the locker room. We did as we were told, getting changed, and waiting for the bell to ring. I wonder if we would get used to this routine if the coach kept getting abused.
When the bell rang, we headed out to the parking lot.
"Are you going to ride with me or your brother?" I asked Alice.
"I can ride with you! Edward has to take Jasper home to pick up his stuff anyway, so we'll make it to my house first."
Alice and I drove to her house, and once we got there, we headed up to the third floor guest room to put my junk in there.
"My mom and dad will be here in a bit. You'll finally get to meet them!" Alice bounced.
"Yeah, I was starting to feel weird about staying here without them even knowing me."
"Don't be silly Bella. They practically know you from how much we talk about you."
"Oh my god! What do you tell them? Did you tell them the gym incident?"
Alice just laughed causing me to panic more. I didn't have a chance to question her more since the front door opened. It was Jasper and Edward walking in talking about football.
Jasper come in and plopped down on the sofa pulling Alice onto his lap, "I'm telling you man! The Seahawks are going to do good this year….I have faith in them!"
"I want to believe you Jazz but my heart has been broken many many times." Edward said while shaking his head and heading into the kitchen.
"Both of you just need to give it up and root for the Arizona Cardinals." I said while smirking.
Edward skidded back in from the kitchen replying along with Jasper, "Excuse me?"
"Just because the Cardinals went to the Super Bowl last year, doesn't mean they will do well again Bella. Besides, you're a girl, what do you know about football?" asked Jasper.
"I might be a girl and not know much, but I know enough NOT to go for the Seahawks being that they suck and all." I shrugged.
Edward rushed toward the spot I was sitting on the couch and began to tickle me, "Take it back Isabella!! You take it back!!"
All could get out of my mouth between the laughter was, "NEVER!!"
"Fine have it your way! Hope you like being tickled to death!" Edward said while straddling me on the couch.
"Edward Anthony Cullen! Stop assaulting that young lady and let her up!" Edward immediately stopped as we both looked toward the living room entrance where a beautiful woman was standing with her hands on her hips. I knew right away that it had to be Edward and Alice's mom. She had the same unique bronze hair and green eyes like her son.
"Come on son, haven't I already gave you the No means No speech?" Right next to their mom stood a man about Edwards's height, slightly muscular, with blonde hair. He was HAWT!!! He looked like a movie star. It was no wonder Edward and Alice looked the way they did.
Edward whispered in my ear before pulling me up, "Close your mouth and stop ogling my dad."
"I…I...was…I wasn't!" I stuttered because it was a damn lie! Who could keep a straight face in front of this man seeing him the first time?
Edward rolled his eyes and slightly pushed me in front of him facing his parents.
"Mom, Dad, this is Bella!" Said Alice as she shoved me harder than Edward toward her parents.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." I reached out my hand to shake her moms first but instead I was pulled into a hug.
"It's so nice to meet you Bella, I'm Esme and I expect you to call me that. None of that Mrs. crap. You don't want me to feel old right?"
I laughed and replied, "Of course not Mrs., I mean Esme."
She still had me in a tight hug before she pulled me back by the shoulders to look at my face, "You are even more beautiful then my kids said you were."
Kids? Plural? Edward has been talking about me to his mom, more surprisingly, saying that I was beautiful? I felt the blush creeping up when I heard Edward clear his throat.
"Ok Mom, stop hogging Bella. You don't want to freak her out on the first day."
"Oh hush Edward. I don't freak people out."
Esme let go of me and I moved on over to the Mr. Cullen. I once again stuck out my hand to shake to which he accepted.
"It's a pleasure to finally put a face to a name Bella, God knows we hear it around here so much." He laughed, "I'm Carlisle. Anyone who can put up with these two crazy kids is a good friend indeed. By the way, how's the gym teachers nose?" He asked.
"ALICE! You told them?" Alice was doubled over laughing.
"Don't worry; for once it wasn't Alice who said anything. I actually heard it straight from the horse's mouth. I was the doctor she saw when she came into the emergency room with a bloody nose. She kept going on about the Chiefs clumsy daughter who didn't know how to swing a racket."
"Oh well yeah, that's me, but in all fairness, I did tell her NOT to let me play. I warned her." I shrugged. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
"Well, I say it's her fault then." He smiled.
"Finally, someone who sees it my way!"
Everyone laughed, Esme was the first to speak and break our gigglefest, "Well ok kids, as much fun as this is, we're going to go get ready since we'll be going out to dinner tonight. Bella, make yourself at home. I'm glad you're here, and we'll catch up later."
"Have fun kids." Carlisle and Esme walked upstairs leaving us down in the living room.
We all went back to sit on the couches where we had been before, except Edward was sitting next to me rather than in the kitchen or on top of me.
"So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked.
"Well I have a couple of ideas, but I'll wait till later when everyone is here."
"Well I can hardly wait. I say you show me show me show me how you do that trick now, Alice."
"What are you talking about Bella?" Alice asked in confusion.
"You don't know Alice? She's talking about the trick, you know the one that makes me scream
she said." I knew Jasper would be the one to catch on to the song I was quoting.
"Yeah Alice, the one that makes me laugh she said." I continued.
"Wait who said? Who is she??" Alice was looking back and forth to Jasper and I.
"Oh, and threw her arms around my neck!" Jasper yelled.
"Oh my god, are you guys doing that weird talking in lyrics thing? You guys always get me with that!"
"You fall for it every time Alice." Edward chuckled.
Jasper and I had made this a habit. We talked in lyrics every chance we got just to confuse the people around us. It was funny in our mind, I'm not so sure if it was to others.
We couldn't do anything till Rose and Emmett arrived, so we just sat around and watched T.V. till then. I must have fallen asleep because I was awoken to the sound of laughter that seemed far at first but got closer the more alert I became. I opened my eyes quick realizing I had fell asleep on the couch.
"Ugh….What did I say this time?" I asked as I saw the whole group around me.
"Oh nothing much, you were just talking about how soft my dad's hair looked." Alice said while giggling.
"Well, damn it, it looks pretty soft to me!" There was no use lying about it. I had already said it while unconscious.
"Thanks Bella, I'm glad my conditioner is doing its job." I froze as I saw Carlisle coming from the kitchen with a bottle of water.
I threw my hands to my face trying to cover the blush that I knew was there as I heard Carlisle chuckle.
"Sweetie, cut it out, you're making the poor girl blush! You can come out now Bella, we're leaving," said Esme.
I removed my hands from my face, "Thanks Esme, you guys have a good time." I tried to recover from my humiliation.
"We will, you kids be good now."
Alice put her hand to her chest and had a look of disbelief, "Of course we'll be good Dad, what do you think we are, a group of heathens?"
"Heathens have nothing on you guys." Carlisle said as he and Esme walked out of the front door laughing.
"So NOW can we know what this idea of yours is Alice?" Jasper asked.
"Yes sir! Soooo, I'm thinking we play a little game of Truth or Dare! All in favor say aye."
"AYE!!" Came the shouts from everyone around me.
Edward came closer to my ear and asked, "What do you say Bella?"
I pretended to think a bit, and then let out a long sigh, "I say Aye."
Let the games begin.