1The characters and canon situations in the following story belong solely to JK Rowling, Scholastic and WB. I am not making any money from the publishing or writing of this story.
AN: Oh my dear giddy aunt...the support this story has received doth take my breath away.
Thank you to all who have read, reviewed, favorited (I'm going to say that's a real word), and/or put on alert.
P.S. I actually do read and appreciate all of my reviews, even if I may not respond to them individually.
Chapter Five
The next afternoon was witness to a strange gathering. Hermione had been successful in charming the TV and VCR to play, and had been roped into hosting a movie night. Currently, Harry, Ron, Sirius, Draco, and Severus were in her room, sprawled over various pieces of furniture and the floor watching the original Star Wars trilogy. Ron and Draco had been wary of the box with miniature people inside of it until Hermione explained the Muggle devices. Severus had appeared earlier to confer with Lucius regarding the ongoing reconstruction of Hogwarts, and was dragged away by a giddy Padfoot. Severus was ready to curse the Marauder as he was lead into Hermone's room until he looked upon a screen and saw very familiar words scrolling on it. He found a chair and stared at the TV, masking his interest with his normal stoic countenance. Sirius and Severus had both snuck away from Hogwarts to see it when they were much younger. It had been twenty years since either wizard had seen the first film. With the first war, imprisonment, and duties as a professor, neither had seen the latter two of the trilogy when they came out.
Hermione was propped up on her bed with several pillows, absorbed in the movie when she heard the slight knock at the door. It opened, and a stern-looking Mrs. Weasley appeared. She had come over with Minerva and Kingsley, bringing Ron along, to discuss Order business and to organize "her" kitchen, regardless of how well Kreacher ran things.
"I don't think you should be in here, dear," Molly said in a clipped tone. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable downstairs?"
"I'm fine right where I am, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione said, confused. "We're just watching a movie. I'm not worn out at all…"
Molly scoffed and turned to leave. The Weasley matron began closing the door behind her, then stopped to push it open again. With a last, dark glance around the room, she left and went back down to the kitchen.
"What was that all about?" Hermione asked bemusedly, closing the door and casting a silence spell.
"Molly's incessant nosiness and overblown sense of propriety," Severus said dryly, causing Ron to throw a glare at him. Hermione just looked even more confused.
"Molly thinks you are a delicate, innocent little flower sitting amongst all of us wicked male creatures that obviously are hell-bent on seducing and corrupting you," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "And let us not forget the part where we will force you to partake in lascivious activities."
Hermione's lips formed an 'o' as she finally understood, then those same lips twitched as she quipped, "Oh, drat. The lascivious activities must be cancelled for tonight. I have a headache."
"Too bad… I was looking forward to an orgy," Sirius said with a sigh.
"I don't think we technically have enough people for an orgy. With this number, I think it would just be group-sex," Hermione said, tilting her head and tapping her chin with a finger.
The Marauder gave a soft 'hmmm' in commiseration. Both then shot a glance around the room, taking in the looks of utter shock on the gaping faces of the boys. Severus was sitting in his chair, appearing to watch the movie, although his shoulders were quivering violently with repressed laughter.
"I think we just broke their fragile, little minds," Sirius said, grabbing some pretzels.
"Not really a difficult thing to do, at any time," Hermione said deadpan, munching on another handful of popcorn.
Severus snorted slightly, and Hermione thought she head him mumble "ten points to Gryffindor", but she wasn't sure.
"I.. I.. I can't believe you two! You're… you're… you're Harry's godfather! And you!" he shouted, pointing at his female best friend, "You're… you're… well, you're Hermione!" Ron sputtered.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Hermione asked, slightly irritated.
"They just think that you are the 'Virgin Princess of Gryffindor', Miss Granger," Severus said with a snort. "You are not supposed to talk about sex, let alone know what it is."
"I may be the 'Virgin Princess of Gryffindor', but it doesn't mean that I'm naïve," she said, raising her chin. "Come on… nearly all of my friends are boys," she said, looking pointedly at Harry and Ron, "and all of you see me as 'just one of the guys', so you don't bother watching the locker-room talk around me. Also, I lived with a bunch of girls in a dorm for several years, one of whom was Lavender Brown, who just lives to gossip… at great length…," she muttered, glaring at Ron who turned red, and then Draco who just shrugged his shoulders, "and I do read, you know," she finished dryly, turning back to the movie.
Several hours later, Draco entered the library and was not surprised to see either Hermione or Severus there, but he was slightly taken aback to see Sirius there, as well.
The rooms' inhabitants were all silently reading; even Sirius, although he appeared to be as interested in a glass of brandy as his book, if not more so.
"Can we help you, Draco?" Severus drawled.
The youngest Malfoy dropped onto the overstuffed sofa next to his godfather and said, "Potter and Weaselbee kicked me out of the room because they thought I was complaining too much about the movie."
"What are they watching now?" Hermione asked.
"'Titanic', or something…about a gigantic boat. Looks like one of those 'chick-flicks', you told me about. Not my style," he said with a sneer.
"Not one for romance, then?" she asked with a small laugh.
"Real romance.. not the nonsense you find in books or those movies." At her raised brow, "Granger, books are not good for everything," he said with his trademark smirk.
"True, but sometimes they're immensely helpful," she said, returning to the large book she had in her hand. As she turned the page, Draco saw a bit of the cover. It appeared to be a Muggle book. Leaning forward to get a closer look, his eyebrows nearly disappeared, they shot up so far.
"What are you reading, Granger?"
Hermione looked up, and closed her book so he could see the entire front cover. "The Mammoth Book of Erotica, Volume II," she said curtly.
At this declaration, both Sirius and Severus snapped their heads up. "How many volumes are there?" came the soft question from Sirius, which was drowned out by Draco's loud, "Granger!"
"You are supposed to be pouring over some moldering, boring tome, about potions or something...not reading smut!" Draco continued.
"Well, maybe I needed a different kind of cauldron stirred, Malfoy," Hermione drawled. Severus' mouth gaped open slightly as Draco looked as if he had sucked on a lemon.
"So… is the book good, 'Mione?" Sirius asked with a playful leer and a wink.
Hermione looked at Sirius through her lashes, and let her lips curl into a seductive smirk. "It's very, very… titillating," she said, enunciating the last word slowly. Draco got up and left the room hurriedly, slamming the door behind him.
Hermione settled back into her seat and turned a page of her book. She picked up her wand and tapped the book cover, the colored paper blurring and reforming into worn, brown leather. Severus and Sirius could both see 'Moste Potente Potions' on the cover in gold.
"That was too easy," she said, turning another page.
Sirius let out a sharp bark of laughter as Severus' lips twitched. "Too bad that you actually don't have the Mammoth Book of Erotica, 'Mione… would have loved to borrow it sometime," Sirius said with a smile.
"Oh, I do have it, just not right now. I lent it out to someone. Hopefully when I get it back, I won't have to Scourgify the pages," she muttered.
"Ewww.. who has it now?"
"Minerva", Hermione said primly, causing Sirius to spit out the sip of brandy he just took and Severus to look like he was going to be ill.
"Merlin's nutsack, Hermione!" Sirius roared, before he too rose and hurried out of the library. After the resounding slam of the door, Hermione once again settled back in her chair and turned another page.
"That was too easy, as well," she said, her lips twitching.
A loud guffaw came from the man sitting on the couch. Hermione looked up and was treated to the extremely rare sight of Severus laughing heartily. She watched as he threw his head back; the long, pale line of his neck showing. As he began to calm down, with a large smile still spread across his lips, Hermione wondered at the transformation it wrought on the Potion Master. He not only looked years younger but exotically attractive. 'Get a grip, girl…' she admonished herself, 'renewing your crush on Professor Snape is not a good idea…'
"Ten points to Gryffindor…. for cheek, Miss Granger."
"Thank you, Professor," Hermione said with a grin.
"I am no longer your professor, girl," Severus muttered.
"You don't plan on teaching any longer? That would be a shame…you're one of the foremost Potion Masters in Europe..your knowledge and skill is invaluable."
Severus was taken aback from the girl's praise. He thought that Hermione detested him, 'And rightfully so... I was horrible to the chit...er...witch'. Shaking his head slightly, he said "I do not know my long-term plans as of yet, but at least for the next few years, I will remain at Hogwarts until they find a decent replacement. Slughorn will not be returning, and Minerva deservedly took over the task as Headmistress."
"Well then… you shall be my professor. I will be going back to school in September."
"For Merlin's sake, why? You could test out of every class now, you silly girl! Hells, you do not even have to go that far… take the NEWT exemption like Potter and Weasley!"
"Because taking an honorary NEWT sounds soooo like me," Hermione scoffed. "I want to go back and actually earn my scores. Besides, it will be nice to have some structured normality for once."
"A magic school filled with hormonal, magical teens precludes any 'structured normality'," Severus said with a snort.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "That may be true, but it certainly sounds normal in comparison to my last few years…unless you anticipate another basilisk, Azkaban escapee, Triwizard Tournament, or Dark Lord dropping by within the next year?"
"Knowing my luck, it will be even worse. Longbottom will come back..."
"Neville is a very good and very brave young man!" the young witch snapped.
"Yes, I know. About time he realized it for himself. I spent years trying to get that boy to show some backbone. Augusta nearly ruined that boy. Frank and Alice were two of the bravest people I have ever known, and their son was a poor, spineless worm until this last year. It was unfortunate that it took a war for him to come into himself, but… a person's true nature is generally revealed under the most trying circumstances," he said, turning back to his book.
Hermione gaped at the black-clad man. "You…you…you treated him like shite as a test?" she shrieked.
"Language, Miss Granger… and yes, it was a test, of sorts. The boy nearly wet himself whenever he was in my classroom, and I was merely a teacher. If he was truly that spineless, he would never make something of himself, nor would he have survived the final battle against Death Eaters," he said darkly, glaring at the witch.
"There are other ways to encourage someone that don't involve constant belittling!"
"Oh yes, because everyone else's coddling of the boy worked wonders over all these years. Longbottom's little rebellion at the school was retaliation toward me, you realize. It was the 'greasy bat of the dungeons' being installed as Headmaster that finally lit the fire under that boy's cauldron…never would have happened if Minerva or one of the Carrows, Merlin forbid, took the spot."
"Bet it stung that he basically built an army and hid in Hogwarts right under your noses," she said with a smirk.
"Oh, I knew that he was using the Room of Requirement. For all of Longbottom's discovery regarding the magic of that room, he never did realize one important factor…"
"And that would be…?"
"The Headmaster can enter it at any time, regardless of it being in use," Snape said with a sneer.
"Part of the magic of the office."
"So you allowed it all?"
"Of course I did. It gave the students who were most in danger from the Carrows or other Death Eaters some safety, and some hope."
"But…"
"Are you questioning your professor, Miss Granger?"
"School isn't back in session, yet….Sir."
"Indeed it is not. Still, Miss Granger, let me reiterate that I think it folly for you to return. It would be a year wasted that you could spend on getting established in the world…or some still-needed recuperation time."
"Speaking of that… thank you, again, for all of the potions. They seem to be working wonders, as usual," she said, ducking her head to hide her slight blush. "And, I have arranged to take a few of my NEWTS before going back. I'll only be taking Potions, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes… I'll test out of the rest and assist as a Teacher's Aide for Transfiguration and Charms, " she said with some pride.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Merlin, save us from over-achieving, know-it-alls! And when, Miss Granger, will you be getting the rest you need? I will not continue to make those potions for you until I am on my deathbed!"
"For me, study is very restful!" she said defensively.
"You run around like a kneazle high on shrivelfig leaves when you are in one of your study binges, Granger…Minerva used to ask me to dose you with a calming draught every test time!"
"I do not!" screamed the girl. She was about to launch into another tirade when the door opened. Standing there was a terrified-looking Harry and Ron.
"What is it?" Hermione asked the boys in alarm.
They raised their hands and moved into the room slowly. "We heard you from upstairs, Hemione…here…take it!" Harry said, nearly throwing something at her.
Looking down, she was confused to see a bar of chocolate.
"No loud noises…no sudden movements…" she heard Harry whisper to the Potion Master.
"What on earth are you…." Severus started, before he was cut off with another heated whisper.
"She gets like this every month…if you don't want to get hexed, just give her chocolate and back away…slowly…." instructed Ron.
Hermione's eyes narrowed as she took out her wand. "I do not have PMS, you stupid prats," she hissed.
"Heh heh…nice Hermione…gooood Hermione. Put down the wand and eat your chocolate…its your favorite," Harry said with a grimace, as he covered his crotch with both hands.
"If either of you get married, I will not have to worry about teaching your brats…neither one of you will survive long enough to father children if that is your understanding of women," Snape snorted.
"Oh!" Ron barked, his face turning red. "And you're an expert on women, are you? Where's Mrs. Snape…or are all the candidates for that position locked up in Azkaban right now?"
"Ronald!" Hermione yelled.
Severus stood up faster than anyone could blink. In a fraction of a second, he was standing in front of the youngest Weasley son with his wand under his chin. Ron was trembling; his whole frame shaking as sweat broke out and beaded his forehead. He had never seen such rage in a person's eyes before; not even in his mother's eyes when she dueled Bellatrix…or when Fred had broke her prized vase.
"For your information Mr. Weasley…the only woman who could have filled that position died…some time ago…" he said, breaking off and closing his eyes. He whirled around and grabbed his cloak off the chair. Snape stalked off to the fireplace, grabbed some floo powder, and disappeared in a swirl of green flames.
"Very nice, Ronald Weasley…" Hermione snapped at the stunned ginger as she strode out of the room and slammed the door behind her.